Cross: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are back, and still in
amazement of what has just taken place...
DrS: Look, Isaac, quit hyping this as if the Masked
Gringos had beaten Murder Inc...these two have
a *very* respectable record wrestling in Japan,
and apparently have decided to bring their team
over to the states..in most impressive fashion.
Stone: The only thing impressive about that win is that
it *only* took Gerry Cannon's interference to
secure the win...usually it takes about 5 or 6
guys to slow down Spinelli ("Rusty Cage" by
Soundgarden plays and the fans pop like fiends)
and Haynes, and oh geez....
DrS: Here comes the man many call the most dangerous man
in E-wrestling, and he's certainly one of them. There
isn't a federation he's been in that he hasn't walked
out with a title...except the EWC.
Cross: And he's looking to fix that in this best of 5
series, a series that Commision Jansen has mandated
to be for the North American championship! As
the green mist subsides from the ring, we await the
arrival (Cue "New Sensation" by INXS) of the
North American Champion!
(Chris Sim strides out from back with his arms already crossed above
his head, from his arms hang a Canadian flag worn as a cape. As he
stands by the entrance he pauses and swings his arms to his sides and
turns around backwards arms extended giving us a perfect shot of the
Canadian flag, just as fireworks go off forming a red X above his
head. Sim slowly spins around again so the camera can catch him
wearing his brand new North American title around his waist. Of
course Sim has a mic in hand and gives the camera a little smile
before he begins to speak.)
[Sim]
Fuego you just stay there, i've got something to say. And I wouldn't
like a repeat of last show when I was so rudely interrupted.
(A sizable shut-up chant starts already)
DrS: Oh, SO sorry Chris, but you forgot to pay the WB
for the extra hour.....
Ok kids, so what did we learn at Lords of the Ring week one? Well, we
found out that it takes three men to put my shoulders down on the mat
for three seconds.
(The crowd cheers and a few Grendel chants start up, unfazed Sim goes
on.)
Those men in case you don't remember are Ernie Grendel, his dog friend
Gilette, and Bill Curtis, the man who took it upon himself to borrow a
few of my "cool looking moves" ... those were your words right Curtis?
Now if Curtis could execute those moves half as well as me, or if he
had a braincell left then he might have won his first match.
(The crowd jeers as Sim points at his temple, Sim then looks at a mock
watch on the same hand and continues to talk.)
So since I owe you at least one second of my time Curtis and if you
really want to improve. Then I may give you a lesson on how to use
those moves, now I can't do anything about your brain that's far out
of my area of expertise.
(Sim looks right into the camera and suddenly gets a more serious look
in his eyes.)
So Billy tell me, now am I running? Do you see fear in these eyes? I
don't think so! So once i'm done with one man that claims to make
everyone fear him, i'll be happy to drop you on your head a few
times...just like I dropped your tag partner earlier tonight!
(The crowd begins to cheer at the thought of Curtis getting his hands
on Grendel.)
Oh no, you don't get off that easy, I have much more to get off my
chest!
(Another chant politely asking Sim to be quiet(ok, not so polite)
starts up, and Sim's look becomes slightly more jovial.)
Now, as for Ern, a man who has been dropped on his head more than a
few too many times. I guess congratulations are in order, eh Ern?
Because that *must* have been what you were thinking, when you were
thinking payback. When you were thinking about all those nasty,
tortureous things you could do to me, is that what you had in mind?
DrS: No, I think sticking a hot poker up your voice box
was more along the lines of what he had in mind..
I mean you beat me in a match where you need help from your friends.
Then, *on top of that* I get back up and win the North American title
later the same night! I mean that must be exactly what I deserve
after putting you through a table and your head into a steel chair.
Hopefully, that win covers the hospital bills, because if I remember
correctly the ECWF didn't have the best medical plan. So, I guess i'm
out of your system now, right Ern? You don't want anymore of me? You've
proven what you had to prove? Now, Ern I hope you noted the sarcasm in there.
Because, I must say if that's all you have, then i'm very disappointed in you.
(A sizable "Kick his ass Ernie, Kick his ass" chant starts up.)
Yeah, we'd all *like* to see that happen now wouldn't we?
(As if on cue a section of fans yell back "YEAH!")
Well, don't hold your breath we all know Grendel can't get the job
done. And because of that Ern, I can totally understand why you
wouldn't want to get back into the ring with me. I mean who knows
maybe your friends won't show up next time and you may wind up back in
the hospital.
(BOOOO! By now, Fuego is yelling at referee Gerald Riley to hurry
him up already)
And Ern, if you really wanted to make an impression on me you missed
your chance because for the next three weeks i'm busy. But, i'll
tellya what, if you still want more after i'm done with Fuego, i'll be
happy to think about giving you another shot at me ... but next time
it'll be on my terms.
(The crowd cheers for this, as the camera pans over to a impatient
Fuego.)
Now, Fuego don't think for one second I forgot about you. You can't
ignore me anymore ... now can you Fuegy? What did we all learn about
you at Lords of the Ring? Well, I must say I heard you say that you
were scared of me? Isn't that right? Ok so maybe not in those exact
words, but your Christmas nightmare was to face me in a five match
series, and seeing as you thought you'd never lose you must be afraid.
Now I know you had a worse nightmare than that, but neither of us
want to be facing each other for the rest of ours lives now do we?
Fuegy, I don't blame you for being afraid of me though. I mean you
saw what I did to Grendel and it scared you a bit ... that's ok. But
did you think for one second i'd let an opportunity for me to get you
in the ring go by? If you did then you're just as stupid as Grendel.
You sealed your fate when I found out your nightmare 'cause as soon as
I heard your nightmare I wanted to be the one to make it come true!
Which I did and Roker's still thanking me for it, you owe me one buddy!
(The crowd continues to boo as Sim winks to the camera.)
And, to find out your nightmare was better than my Christmas wish, you
can only imagine how happy I am. The only thing more I could ask for
is a new shiny belt ... oh wait, I seem to have one!
(Sim pulls at his new belt that on his waist and angles it so that it
gleams in the light for the camera.)
Now, seeing how you made my Christmas wish come true, and being the
kind, generous, and of course caring person that I am, remember Fuegy,
I *am* Canadian!
(Thus starts the usual USA chant.)
So i'll tell you what i'm gonna do. If you do manage to beat me in
this best of five series, as bloody unlikely as that may be, i'll let
you have my North American title belt, just think of it of being my
little way of saying thank you.
(Crowd pop to the stars.)
Now, Fuegy I don't ever remember calling you a jungle beast or a
savage I simply remember calling you a pathetic wrestler. Tonight in
the pure science match i'll prove it and i'm going to look good doing
it. So sit back and enjoy the show, as tonight everyone gets to see
why i'm simply sensational!
(With that Sim throws down the mic and finally makes his way to
ringside.)
Stone: That's the way! Tell it like it is, Chris.
Cross: I cannot believe he went on and on for that long..it's
like nails on a chalkboard.
Stone: And you know why it bothers everybody?
DrS: Because he sounds like he's trying to squeeze one
out but can't get the oomph to do it?
Stone: NO! Geez, who let this old fart back into the booth?
DrS: My best friend's son...who knows that I know my stuff..
unlike some who has to have their broadcast notes
printed on their underpants so the whole world can see
them when you bend over.
Stone: Harassment!! Harassment! You're getting sued,
grandpa...
Cross: Will the two of you stop it? Bell sounds and we're
both underway.
*SHORT REPORT MODE ON*
Fuego and Sim stared at each other for a while, Sim talking trash
the entire way, finally causing Fuego to fake a punch that had Sim
taking a step back and complaining about the closed fist. Fuego
responds by spitting in the eye of Sim to a big crowd pop, then
hitting a boot to the gut, followed by a forearm uppercut...really
stiff looking shot, as Sim's head snapped back at impact. Fuego with
a couple more thai strikes (Thai=style fighting uses the shin and
forearm as contact points so nothing illegal here), then sending
Sim across the ring to the other buckle..a charge by Fuego is
backwards leapfrogged by Sim, Sim tries for the reverse DDT, Fuego
slides out, boot to the gut, tries for a MUDSLIDE but flips back
instead and BLASTS Sim with a superkick to the face. Sim rolls
out of the ring and complains loudly about being kicked in the
throat. Riley laughs him off and tells him to get back into the
ring.
They tie up again, Fuego with a monkeyflip on Sim, gets up,
clothesline, climbs to the second rope, Vader splash. 2 count.
Fuego gets to his feet and smacks Sim *hard* across the face, then
sets him up for a double underhook DDT, following up with a
crooked head scissors that had Sim howling in pain. Sim gets to
the ropes, Fuego with several knees to the back of Sim's neck, then
a nice overhead belly to belly. Sim rolled out of the ring again,
but this time Fuego followed. Fuego on the outside with a stiff
forearm shot, then an atomic drop that sends Sim into the steel
ringpost. Fuego tosses Sim back in, then grabs the ropes..slingshot
splash for a 2 count. Sim uses the moment and instinctively hits
a low blow, and is *really* lucky that Riley was *behind* Fuego when
this happened, or Sim would have been DQed. Sim followed up with
a dragon-screw legwhip to slow the pace enough for Sim to catch his breath.
The next five minutes was a showcase of Sim. Sim hit a couple of low
shoulder tackles to the leg of Fuego, but Fuego kept getting up,
until a legtrip takedown into an anklelock submission got him down.
Fuego got to the ropes quickly, but that wasn't the point, as Sim
followed up by hyperextending the leg by falling back, then hitting
an elbowdrop into the inside thigh. He did this several times in
each direction, ending by falling straight forward with a splash
to the ribcage (that handily stretched out Fuego's groin area..legally,
I might add) Sim then tried for a submission using a *double*
stump puller, pulling on both legs instead of just one. Fuego held
out tho, and finally Sim leg go, ran back, dropkick to the back of the
head. 2 1/2 count on Fuego. Snap suplex by Sim, then Sim heads
for the top and goes for a 450 splash but Fuego gets his knees up.
Both men lay on the mat, Fuego up first but Sim reverses Fuego's
charge into a single arm DDT.
Sim picks up Fuego, hits the legdriver DDT to the fans consternation, but can
only get a 2 count on Fuego. Sim with a flying headscissors that dumps Fuego
over the top. Sim heads to the top rope as Fuego climbs the ropes...Sim goes
for the sunset bomb, but Fuego has the presence of mind to sit down as Sim
leaps, and basically crushes Sim's back between Fuego and the ring apron.
Fuego back in the ring, bringing Sim by the hair back inside..Thai
kick, followed by a roundhouse that backed Sim into the corner.
Fuego moves in..Irish whip reversed by Sim. Sim charges in for
a huracanrana but Fuego catches him in a running Ligerbomb..1...2..
3!!!!!!! NO, referee's hand hit once too soon, waves it off. Fuego
with a European uppercut, then sets Sim on the top rope. Fuego
up top with him setting for a Top Rope Superplex, but Sim reverses
it into a tornado DDT for a 2 3/4 count. Sim then crosses his arms
and the fans boo...
Cross: And Sim calling for the Crosshairs here as Fuego is
getting to his feet...Sim runs for the ropes, WAIT,
Springboard off the second rope..POWERSLAM BY FUEGO!!
DrS: FANTASTIC back and forth match from both sides here,
both look beat but they're hanging in there.
Stone: Fuego setting up now for the Mudslide...Sim under
him gets him on his shoulders..SIT DOWN FACE FIRST
POWERBOMB!!!!
Cross: Good night!!! Fuego's head bounced about a foot off
the mat when that hit..
[P/A]
[in a calm, quiet voice] Chris Sim... "Canadian Sensation"...
Cross: What the...look, on the video wall...
[fade in on Ernie Grendel, sitting in a darkened room, watching something on a TV -
after a moment we pan around to where we can see the TV - Ernie's head in shadow - a
nd see that Ernie is watching his match against Chris Sim from last week. Ernie
pauses the tape at the moment where Sim planchas Ernie after Ernie scored the pin
with a small package. Sim is looking at the video wall as Fuego is rolling on
the mat]
Chris Sim... "Canadian Sensation"... Twice we've met in the ring, and twice you've
lost to me. I now know quite a bit about you... one, you can't beat me, and two,
you can't stand losing to me...
[the camera starts panning back around so that it faces Ernie as he speaks]
Seems that you think that by laying me out you can get rid of me... Sorry to say
it doesn't work like that... Ask TR Parker. Ask PJ Wayne. Ask Billy McIntosh. Ask
Fuego...
You don't know me, Sim. You don't know me at all... but you will...
[the shot fades out on a close-up of Ernie Grendel's eyes - one green, one blue -
and the caption
Know Grendel.
Know Fear.
Cross: And Sim definitely not happy aobut...FUEGO FROM
BEHIND!!! REVERSE DDT!!!
DrS: And here's the thing..*never* lose your focus in
the ring.
Stone: This is a travesty...Fuego covers...1...2...3!!!
And Chris Sim has *another* win STOLEN from him.
There is absolutely *no* justice in this world..
NONE!!!
#######################################################
# WINNER: Fuego, by pin 9:02 Fuego leads series 1-0 #
#######################################################
Cross: And Fuego quickly out of there as a *VERY* irate
Chris Sim is in there screaming at the referee.
Stone: I would be too. Grendel cheated. That was outside
interference, Fuego should have been *IMMEDIATELY*
disqualified.
DrS: For what? Sim didn't *HAVE* to watch Ernie rant.
He should have been paying attention to the match,
and the fact that he didn't cost him.
Cross: Fans, we've got to go for a commerical break, but
before we go, we've got some words from one of
the participants in the Footbrawl, one Jon Owens
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(Jon Owens is in front of the EWC interview area)
[Jon Owens]
Some things still never change I see. Boy, the EWC must be proud of
how their "champions" are being crowned. One guy gets a belt because
he's lucky in a battle royale. The tag team champions are going to be
decided in a "Spin the Wheel" match. Hey, guys, here's a novel
concept ... how about just a straight wrestling match? Then we have a
World Champion who wins his belt thanks to some goofball interfering
... there's another glorious win to tell your grandkids about, Showtime.
Now we have the TV title being decided in a "Footbrawl". I've paid my
dues in garbage like this. Do I want to still have to go through it?
No ... but I signed a contract, I do what I'm told ... to a degree.
So, everyone bring their little toys, their cute little outfits.
Again, I'm sure you'll be able to take great pride in being handed a
belt for merely surviving a riot. Sooner or later the fun and games
will stop, boys, and then you're gonna have to actually /WRESTLE/.
I hope you'll be ready ... 'cause I will be.
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
How *do* they cram all that graham into Golden Grahams.....
Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, only for the N64...this week on Sister
Sister, will Tia get jealous when Tamara starts dating her ex?
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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[Adrienne Solo knocks on the lockerroom door of The Raw Assasin.
She knocks repeatedly but does not get an answer.]
Solo: Mr. Assasin! Can you please open up?
[After a long pause, The Raw Assasin swings open the door.]
Solo: What? What do you want?
Matthews: Well, I would like to get a few words!
Raw Assasin: Alright then, come in!
[The Raw Assasin widens the door as Matthews makes her way inside of his lockerroom.
She surveys the scene noticing torn clothing and utilities all over. It appears The
Raw Assasin is not in the best of moods. Several of the lockers have dents in them.]
Solo: (A bit indimidated by the scene) Okay Mr. Assasin, how do you feel your career
is going so far in the EWC?
Raw Assasin: What do you think? Huh? Honestly what do you think?
Solo: Well....
Raw Assasin: (Cutting her off) It's gone really bad so far! I mean, like I said I
would, I got screwed in the rumble! I mean, they should've disqualified the guy who
knocked me out! He obviously cheated! Damn Refs, now this is where I draw the line!
I let these guys push me around but it's times like this that I can't take it! (Puts
head down in disgust, talks a little more calmer) But you know it's true, I mean, I
was tricked into getting eliminated in that rumble. Now I know the same is going to
keep going on.
Solo: Do you actually believe yourself? I mean, I've seen what you can do. You are
not all that bad of a wrestler but right now all you do is cry and whine about how
everything is not fair. You need to shape up and you can become a half decent wrestler.
Raw Assasin: I am more than a half decent wrestler, I have just been dealt a bad
hand. You know that. Everyone knows that.
Solo: I can't believe you...now what do you feel about your upcoming
bout?
Raw Assasin: The Raw Assasin never forgets a face. This bout against Jeremy Byron
is more than just a normal fight, I have something against him....I think I....no...he...
Solo: He eliminated you from the battle royal last week.
Raw Assasin: Ahh...yes, so I do hold a lot against him. He was the one who tricked me.
He got real lucky with that screw job last week. He won't get lucky this week as long
as the referees call it straight down the middle and a bell ringer who rings the bell
at the right times, I have a good chance at beating this Jeremy Byron.
Solo: Come on, I think it depends on how hard you want it and how hard
you train! You know the referees will call it down the middle and since when has a
bell ringer decided a match?
Raw Assasin: Uhh....Listen, I don't need this from you, now I need to get ready for
this match, so be gone!
Solo: Yeah, well (sarcastically) good luck
(The Raw Assasin shuts the door on a leaving Alison Carrere-Matthews)
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
("Assassination Day" by Ghostface Killah starts up)
DrS: And Byron's waiting in the ring for the Raw Assassin,
and the Assassin looking to get a little back for
the way Jeremy tossed him over the top rope in last
weeks Battle Royal
Cross: Byron's no slouch, however. He had a great performance
in the North American battle royal, eliminating two
men, and he's got this new air about him..like he's
finally ready to go to the next level.
Stone: The only air around him is from the bean burrito he had
for lunch. Assasin's gonna take him out, because he's
had it with being screwed by the system.
*SHORT REPORT MODE ON*
Byron started out strong, using forearms and dropkicks to faze
the much larger Assasin, but RA managed to regain control with
a boot to the face, followed by a clothesline that sent Byron
over the top rope. Assasin follows up with a slingshot splash to
the outside, then starts ramming Byron into everything not nailed
down..and a few things that are. Assasin rolls back in to get the
count broken, then rolls back out and whips Byron into the guardrail.
Assasin tosses Byron back inside, hits a bodyslam, then picks Byron
up for a powerbomb..only Byron sits up there and starts wailing away on
the Assasin with rights and lefts before hitting a frankensteiner
that causes the crowd to pop hard. Jeremy off the ropes..leg lariat
that drops the Assasin down hard, Jeremy then climbs the ropes for
a sacrifice clothesline, but Assasin catches him in midair and hits
a sidewalk slam Yelling "That's It!" to the crowd, he signals
for the "Assasination" Jumping Piledriver...but Jeremy reverses it
into a backdrop. Assasin gets up and gets *nailed* with a
Kiss of Death (Which the announcers tag as "The Equalizer") and
is covered for a 1....2......3!!!! And the crowd pops hard as Byron
gets the duke. The Assasin can't believe it and immediately gets
into it with referee Wayne Winans. Byron rolls out of the ring and
accepts the cheers of the fans..and smiles.