NOTE: This will not be a regular occurrance, I just want this card out
quickly:
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EWC TV REPORT: LORDS OF THE RING SPECIAL
LIVE from UIC Pavillion in Chicago, IL
by Shawn Pearce
Hey guys...I'm usually not home on Friday nights (either performing
with my group or out with my friends) but I had a rare night at
home and actually got to see the EWC Main Show for a change.
Here's some thoughts on it....
They do the normal opening credits, and then go right into:
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[PA System]
Fuego's Gonna Kill You...
("Rusty Cage" starts to play and the green lights and mist are accompanied by
an explosion of cheers. Fuego then steps onto the runway and we see a rare smile
on his face as he listen to the crowd and looks at the EWC WorldTitle draped over
his shoulder. He heads to the ring, heads up a turnbuckle and basks in the cheers,
he then grabs the house mic.)
[Fuego]
Ever since I returned to the EWC people have been sort of down on my
accomplishments. I've heard a lot about how my previous championship
reigns have meant nothing. People told me that winning the KWF, AWA, ECWF
and Summit Interfed titles didn't amount to much of anything. Tell that to
Doug Carr, Powerhouse Pruitt, Steve Fontaine, Dr. Feelgood, T.R. Parker, and
all the others I fought to capture those titles. Tell that to my body who
still feels the effects of some of those matches. Tell that to my face.
Not surprising--but no one can bring themselves to do that. Smart move.
My reaction? I just used the disgust as incentive to train harder and become
that much better. And now I am the EWC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT Champion. *MONDO Crowd pop*
I have reached the same level that my cousins Muerte and Sangre
did so many times--now the talking stops. I am the best in the business and
this title proves it.
Now before I get to my match tonight, I have something to say to Roker
Showtime. I was one of the first to get on you about how you won that
title and I was serious. I've always respected your abilities and I wanted
you to use them in defending that title and not rest on your reputation. Well
you answered my challenge. Roker, you played it by the book and still took
me to the limit. I still don't agree with you on a lot of things, but I respect
you as an athlete. And that's why I am offering you the first shot at this
belt. I demand that Tara Jansen grant you a rematch at the first opportunity
available--and, if the powers that be have it, I want it to be an Iron Man
Match--most pinfalls in one hour takes the title. By the time that hour is
over no one will be doubting either of us.
*crowd pop*
In a few minutes I get to have my second match with Lord Blabbermouth
himself--Chris Sim.
*The crowd booooos....and booooos...and boooooos....*
Blame Grendel, blame the officiating, blame anything you want, but I pinned your
sorry ass to the canvas just like I promised you I would. Don't think you did a
good job surviving either. Remember, I made it very clear--I intend on taking you
apart slowly--that's why you're not injured yet. Hell, if the mood strikes me,
maybe I'll go get counted out of one match just so I can tear you apart another
time. I only hope Ernie doesn't get to you and end your career before I'm done.
While I am enjoying this little set-up quite a bit, I want to let you know something
right now--you are NOT getting a shot at this world title. I've told you time and time
again--prove your worthy, go beat someone legit--then maybe I'll listen. As for now
though, just be happy that the championship committee isn't letting me take your
North American title anymore. This way you'll at least have something to look at
while you're lying in traction trying to see all those cuts and bruises. Now get
your sorry ass down here and tell me just how I have to go about beating this time.
[Fuego spikes the mic, raises the title into the air one more time, and
takes off back to the dressing room]
THOUGHTS: That was direct. Sets the show up nicely, and gives
the announcers something to talk about...which they do. Tonight's
main event is Fuego vs. Sim Round Two..and everyone's saying Fuego's
on a roll tonight. Also up is an FCA match between Ronnie Frown
and Happy Dawson, the Samaritan vs. the Iron Bull in a grudge match
set up for several weeks, and Retrospection vs. Beyond Our Control
in the most wide contrast of styles that night. They kick the
evening off with:
EWC LH TITLE TOURNEY MATCH:
ERNIE GRENDEL vs. TERRY "Hitman" HAYNES
Haynes came out first to "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" by AC/DC
and accompanied by his partner, Frank "The Assasin" Spinelli.
Isaac Cross brings up the match they have with Beyond Our Control
at Slamrock...first 10 minutes a Pure Science match, then afterwards
a Chicago Street Fight. On entering the ring, Haynes called for the
mike:
["Hit Man"]
Grendel, we've both had or expect problems with other people interfering in our
matches. This man right here (points at Spinelli) is here at ringside to make
sure that doesn't happen tonight. He's not gonna have anything to do with our match,
and if you want your buds, Curtis and Fido, out here, too, then bring 'em on out,
that's fine with me. I've watched you, Ern, I think I know you. You want me one-on-one
and that's the way I want it too, and if we have to bring out a freakin' army to keep
it that way, then bring 'em on, says I.
With that, "Crazy" by Seal kicks in to a HUMONGOUS pop, and Grendel
comes out......by himself. He stands at the ramp, hits the explosions with the
hair mosh, the whole bit, then runs down and rolls into
the ring.
If they wanted to start out hot this week, they picked the right
match to do it with. Nonstop, 10 minutes of motion. They
locked up, Haynes pushed Ernie back into the ropes, then irish
whips him into a short-arm elbowsmash and the games begin. Three
fast armdragy by Haynes, fourth into a reversed armdrag by
Grendel, then a dropkick by Grendel that sends Haynes into the corner..
handspring elbow by Grendel that misses Haynes..etc, etc.
Neither wrestler had control for more than a 2-3 move string. Haynes
isn't known as a lucha-style aerialist but he kept up with Ernie
well. The most impressive spot of the match, actually, wasn't from
Ernie but from Haynes....Haynes was outside and Ernie went for
the baseball slide tornado DDT that Curtis has...Haynes saw it coming,
jumped onto a nearby chair, and landed on Grendel with a legdriver
DDT as Ernie was sliding out. PERFECTLY timed, and the crowd
gasped when it hit.
That was the longest that Haynes had control...he hit a DDT on the
outside, then went in and hit a superfly splash for a 2 count, a
small package for a 2 count, and a tornado bulldog for a 2 count.
He went to the top for the "Rub Out" Missile Dropkick, but Ernie
ducked under as he missed. Ernie then quickly picked Haynes
up....and hit the "Lawn Dart" suplex-driver before heading to the
top for the skytwister press and the 3 count.
#########################################
# WINNER: Ernie Grendel, by pin 11:02 #
#########################################
Postmatch, Ernie hairmoshed a bit, then left the ring. No postmatch
incident at all, which surprised me...I thought for sure Sim was
going to get involved in this. No complaint from me.
They do a commerical, and when they come back Cross states the
debut of a new EWC star, and another successful transplant from
another federation...they roll the video....
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(Camera opens in a very dark room. Suddenly a pool of white light shoots up
from the ground. Standing amidst the glow, you can see as the camera pans
upward, is a very tall, muscular behemoth of a man, with arms folded. his
veins stand out along his biceps and neck. some light glares off of his
bald head, he stares intensely at the camera...some people might recognize
this man as...The Oracle.)
[Oracle]
When times of trouble fall upon a land. When turmoil strikes and chaos
begins. This is when he shall come. When a new beginning happens. When a
necesity for guidance is apparent. This is when he shall come. The Oracle has
traveled across this plane and has been through much of the pain and suffering.
The Oracle has been there to guide those who need and to deliver punishment.
He has seen federations crumble and has seen the rebirth of new ones.
He has been on the battle field and has had wars with great warriors.
Now, the Oracle has come to the EWC to stop the corruption before it starts,
to right the wrongs, and to preserve righteousness. Beware those who have
vengeful thoughts, the Oracle sees all. So it is stated...Says The Oracle!
(the pool of light fades out and darkness consumes the room once again.
Camera cuts back to the announcers table)
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ORACLE vs. Walt "The Walrus" Chizzneski
Walt 'The Walrus' Chizzneski is standing in the ring already as 'Turn
the Page' by Mettallica starts up to a mixed reaction from the fans,
until the massive Oracle parts the curtain and steps out. The former
AWI and FWA star recieves a pretty big pop. Oracle steps over the top
rope and the bell rings. Walrus stares at the Oracle, who even tho he
weighs less somehow seems bigger than Chizzneski.
Walrus locks up with Oracle and plants a boot in his midsection. Oracle
only stares at the confused Walrus. Oracle grabs the
former champs arm and whips him in for a vicious short arm clothesline.
He picks Walrus up, and showing a mighty display of strength, hits a high
elevation suplex. Oracle wastes no time in getting up and picking
up the dazed 390 pounder. 2 headbutts follow to Chizzneski's collar
bone, and Oracle then grips the Walrus' face with his mighty hand.
Walrus breaks the hold and kicks Oracle low, then hooks Oracle for a
swinging neckbreaker. After a perfectly executed move, Walrus showboats
for the crowd, yelling "I AM THE WALRUS!!!". He leans over Oracle, who
suddenly grabs Chizzneski again with his iron grip in a cranial claw.
Oracle rises to his feet still holding the claw on and showing another
display of sheer strength, Oracle lifts the Walrus up and plants him with
an impressive (albeit sloppy) Claw Slam. Walrus tries to roll out of the
ring, but Oracle stops him right as he is almost out on the apron, pulls
him back in and plants a double stomp right into the Walrus' stomach.
Oracle now sets up for what looks to be a vertical suplex.
He hoists him high, but instead of falling back into a suplex,
turns Walrus around into a tombstone position and sits down...successfully
executing his finisher, "The Prophecy" . Oracle covers the unconscious man
and 'Turn the Page' cues up once again to a decent pop by the crowd.
Winner: Oracle, by pin 4:22 +1 pt
THOUGHTS: Armand's gotta have pictures of someone in a compromising
position. This guy was one of the top faces in FWA and was just getting
going in AWI before he disappeared from TV. I guess his
contract is here now. I have to wonder, tho, if Oracle isn't too
much of a good thing...he may make a really cool team with Samaritan,
and could have some good matches, but I don't know how fast he's gonna
be in the title hunt.
After that, they show a quick view of Sim getting ready for his
match...he looks really, really serious about things =) Then
they go to a commerical...when they come back...
"The Iron Bull" T'CHAI SE-YEOUNG vs. THE SAMARITAN
Ceremonial Chinese-style gongs play as the Bull and his Ass...
I mean, the Iron Bull and the Jade Tiger head to the ring, Tiger
carrying the Japanese flag. Can you say instant old-style heat?
I thought you could. Se-Yeoung looks menacing as Tiger has it
out with several ringside fans. "The Best I Can" by Queensryche
comes on and the Samaritan bolts out to the cheers of the fans,
only to get immediately stomped upon by Se-Yeoung as he hit the ring.
Bull started out with a lot of kicks and chops to the back, along
with a loogie hocked right onto the back of the Samaritan as he
was on the mat, then picked up Samaritan and literally *threw*
him into the far turnbuckles. Bull charged in with a Vader-style
bell clap splash, then turned around and bellowed at the fans...
only to be WAYLAYED from behind by the Samaritan with the
blindside clothesline and covered for a near-3 by Rev. Ray Chapman,
the referee. This was enough for the Bull to roll outside
and get some info from Jade Tiger. Samaritan threatened to go
out after him, but stopped when the referee told him to.
From there, the first couple of minutes was basic power match,
with the nod going to the Samaritan on that regard. The tide
turned after Jade Tiger tripped the Samaritan on the outside
long enough for the Bull to clothesline Samaritan over the top
rope. Bull comes out, bodyslams Samaritan onto the concrete,
then rolls in, allowing Tiger to jam the flagpole into the throat
of Samaritan, followed by a whack across the back with it, all
behind the back of Chapman. Bull rolls outside and tosses him
back in, then punishes the back and arms more. Bull settled
into a Wakigatame armbar for a minute while the obligatory
"USA USA" chant kicked in. Samaritan eventually powered out, and
hit a couple forearms shots to the face, then scoops under and hits
the "Iron Bull" with a powerslam to escape.
The obligatory face comeback happens here, with suplex after suplex
on the Bull, then sending him into the ropes and *nailing* a
flying shoulder tackle that sends the Bull right into Ray
Chapman. The Bull gets up, is dazed, gets *RIGHT* into the "Helping
Hand" blindslide clothesline again, Samaritan covers, no ref to
count it. Samaritan goes to check on the ref as Jade Tiger
gets on the ring apron...Samaritan threatens to clock Tiger a
good one, but the Bull rolls him up from behind, grabs a fistful
of tights, and steals the 3 count from a dazed Ray Chapman
###########################################
# WINNER: The Iron Bull, by pinfall 11:03 #
###########################################
Postmatch, the Bull stomps on the Samaritan some more as the
Jade Tiger joins in...the Bull holds Samaritan up as Tiger
hits a throat chop, then pulls out a package of salt to throw
in the Samaritan's eyes...only to have Jeremy Byron bolt into
the ring and kick the bag of salt right back into the eyes of Jade
Tiger. Bull loosens his hold to go after Byron, but the Samaritan
grabs Se-Yeound and clotheslines him over the top rope as Byron
*nails* Jade Tiger with the "Equalizer" 3/4 Nelson Bulldog,
and the heels are run off as Byron and Samaritan stand tall in
the ring. Byron has this look on his face that he can't believe
he did that.
THOUGHTS: Decent way to not bring closure to the feud yet. This
is one of those kinds of feuds that they don't have to feature
every week to keep the natural animosity going between both men.
And I *still* have no idea if they're actually pushing Byron or
if this is leading to something....I do notice that they're not
putting him in situations that wouldn't be realistic. I wouldn;t
have bought Byron chasing off the Bull, but I can see Byron stunning
Jade Tiger. Samartian and Byron as a tag team? Hmmmmmm...
The announcers talk a little bit about the Slayer/Sloan situation..
Dr. Strange notes that the EWC is close to signing a match between
the two of them for Slamrock, when......
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(On the Soloscreen, "The Slayer" Mark Davidson is seen walking around the
backstage area of the arena, looking really pissed and wearing a neck brace.
He’s wearing a new black ‘Slaytanic Wehrmacht’ t-shirt. As he’s walking towards
the curtains that lead to the walkway, Neil Nerdlinger comes up to him....)
[Neil]
*bleep*-damn, that was one hell of a smackdown that Sloan put on you last weeee!!!!
(Slayer grabs Neil by the throat and delivers a boot to the gut that doubles him
over. He procedes to pick him up and toss him into a nearby trashcan before
heading through the curtains....
‘Devil Man’ by White Zombie comes over the speakers as Slayer comes through
the curtains and heads to the ring. He grabs a house mic and climbs through
the ropes.
[Slayer]
Ok, let’s take account of a few things here. Sloan, you piece of
cheap magic-shop horror queen. You’ve had two chances to put me down and out
and you came pretty damn close, but you couldn’t quite get the job done now
could you? Beaten down, busted open, and still ready to kick the living crap
outta you!
(Strong crowd pop, a few chants of "You Suck" can still be heard)
[Slayer]
Now, the brand new 16 year-old Doogie Howser doctor that put me
back together in the ER last week told me that I really needed to wear this
goofy neckbrace for at least another week and I should maybe think about another
line of work. I say to hell with him, to hell with this neckbrace, and to hell
with you Sloan!
(Slayer rips the neckbrace off and tosses it into the audience.)
[Slayer]
Let’s take a little trip down memory lane, shall we? How long ago
was it Sloan that you were a little pathetic worm that would sit in your
closet for hours on end with the lights out, just dreaming of the day that
you could be some big, bad guy that would get even with all of the people
that never picked you to play with them at recess. How long has it been
since you’ve thought of how much mommy and daddy didn’t love you? You know
what, they didn’t! How long has it been since you first escaped into your
little never-never land so you could pretend that you were really more than
that pathetic little acne-ridden kid, sitting in your closet and crying
yourself to sleep at night? It must be terrible for you to re-live the
same nightmare every single day of your life pathetic life!
(The crowd is still very much into it)
[Slayer]
You say that I am the one that needs to be saved, enlightened,
whatever. I think that you could use some serious therapy, Slaytanic
style! I’m going to do to you what your daddy should have done years ago.
We’re going to take a trip behind the old wood-shed and teach you a
lesson in respect and humility and teach you how to play nice.
*POPOPOPOPOOOP*
[Slayer]
Two chances, that’s what you’ve had. Two failures, that’s what
you’ve produced. I gave you every chance to show these people how big
and bad you really are and you dropped the ball. Third strike and you
are out. Expect brutal beating number one next week!
(Slayer drops the mic and climbs each corner to charge up the crowd as
‘Devil Man’ roars from the speakers.)
THOUGHTS: Well, he still needs work on the mic, but he's getting
better. This could be a very good first feud, but it should probably
end by Slamrock so that both men can move on. This was a good idea
in as much as using old animosities to get heat fast, but beyond
that, I dunno....
Part 2 next...