EWC TV REPORT: Lords of the Ring Shawn Pearce reporting. Well, apparently we only have a 90 minute show (from 10-11:30) due to a special screening on the WB of the original Lethal Weapon. Therefore, only six matches, but some *REAL* barnburners. They do the opening graphics...then cut to a backstage shot of Ronnie Frown in streetclothes, dragging referee Mason Crow by his shirt lapels and being followed by a cameraman..they go and stand by the door entryway...where Happy Dawson walks in in streetclothes. At this point, he's 2 way jumped by Frown and Jon Owens, with both men laying one hell of a beating on Dawson. Frown hooks a now woozy Dawson,\ hits the "Hard Pill" on the concrete... then covers. Crow falls down and counts the one two three....then Frown stomps on Dawson for good measure. Very confusing opening segment, but it makes more sense later on (beyond the obvious they hate each other stuff) The camera's come back in and the announcers are introduced. The hype machine is in force for the Falls Count Anywhere North American title defense between Chris Sim and Ernie Grendel....Cross and Strange think a title is gonna change hands, while Stone obviously supports Sim. One way or another, this is gonna be a hot show... Cross also notes they will have highlights of the Fuego/Sim Round 3 that was recently taped for Wakeup Call (Wakeup Call is gonna be pre-empted for a few weeks due to regional college basketball coverage..ugh) LH TOURNEY MATCH: SIDI AL-NASSIR "The Chic Sheikh" vs MILITAR DE FURIA Man, I'd hate to be the ring announcer for this match. =) This little border skirmish (sorry, bad pun) was set up on Wakeup Call, so there's a *little* heat here, but not much. Al-Nassir starts off with some kicks to the lower abdomen, followed by a European Uppercut that sends Furia back to the ropes...a whip to the ropes, Furia jumps and springboard backflips *over* the Sheikh, then baseball slides under him and hits a wicked spinning backfist that sends al-Nassir over the top rope. al-Nassir complains about the closed fist, but Terry Magnum, the referee, really doesn't pay much attention. This match was very much back and forth, with both men being able to show off offense...Furia was your basic luchador and did your basic luchador high spots, including a *KILLER* Springboard Corkscrew elbowsmash that got a good rise. Sidi, for his part, used weardown moves very effectively, and managed to cinch on his Crossed-Arms Camel Clutch, but Furia managed to get an arm loose and made it to the ropes. Finally, Furia got the momentum happening, and set up for the La Rociada Meteoro, but Nassir instead rolled out of the ring, and Furia made it a shoulderblock suicida instead. Both men then started tearing into each other to the complete obliviousness of the referee, who had no choice but to count out both men. Postmatch, they brawled all the way to the back. ################################# # WINNER: Double Countout, 7:22 # ################################# They go to a commerical...when they come back, paramedics are checking on Happy, a doctor says he's kind of dazed, and his appearnce in his tournament match later on is questionable. SEBASTIAN SLOAN vs. THE RAW ASSASIN. This may as well have been a squash. Sloan took advantage from the bell and never looked back. Assassin didn't even have *time* to complain to the referee this time as Sloan pounded him with kicks, punches, headbutts, and other various power moves. At one point he carried the Assasin to the top rope and chokeslammed him off the top rope!!! Yet this match still went 10 minutes because Sloan refused to pin him. He picked him up again after the two count every single time. Finally, after a tilt-a-whirl tombstone piledriver, a harpoon toss, and no less than *THREE* "Enlightenment" Bulldog Cobra Clutches, Rev. Ray Chapman declared that the Raw Assasin could no longer continue, and Sloan was declared the winner. ######################################### # WINNER: Sebastian Sloan, by KO 10:21 # ######################################### Postmatch, Sloan grabs the house microphone and talks...meanwhile the paramedics are on their way down with a stretcher... [Sloan] Raw Assassin I apologize to you, for you are but an unfortunate victim suffering the aftershocks of another man's sins. Assassin, you have been humbled and you are lying in pain because of one sick man. An evil, depraved man--you have paid because of the man we all know is still The Slayer. Don't worry, I will never let another person suffer for his misdoings again. Satan--change your stripes, change your name, but you will never be able to change the fact that your soul is black--that you are an ambassador of evil. I have tried to show you that good is the proper path. I've preached, I've sweat, and I've bled all to help cleanse your soul. I even turned your own sadistic torture against you...allowed you to understand the misery caused by your way of life. Through all of this though, you've only grown sicker, more violent and depraved, you act like an animal. So Slayer, if an animal is what you are than an animal is what I will treat you like. You are a lost cause--you cannot be enlightened. Therefore you will be hunted, and you will be destroyed. For now--- (Sloan is cut off as "Die die die my Darling" by the Misfits starts to rock the PA system--he looks a bit surprised to see an all too familiar figure come out from t he back. It is Mark Davidson's wife, Lilith--alone. There's a pretty good crowd pop as she hasn't been seen for a while (and due to the outfit). She's dressed in her regular get-up--a very tight black leather and chains S&M type outfit, high black boots, and a spiked dog collar adorning her buxom frame as she makes her way to the ring. She gets to the ring and takes the mic from Sloan who backs up for a second and looks over his back to make sure that Slayer is not going to jump him from behind. He then stands motionless with an interested look on his face. The paramedics are just now entering the back of the ring to get the Assasin out) [Lilith] You know, for a few weeks now we've all had to endure with all sorts of bitching and moaning from someone that I used to think really had things together and was a major ass kicker! (She looks over at Sloan who glares at her with disgust. The crowd pops because they like what they hear.) [Lilith] What are we going to hear next? "My dad can beat up your dad!", "I'm taking my ball and going home!", "Oh, yeah! well you're ugly!" Come on, I have had about enough of this infantile ranting and raving from you......Slayer! (HUH!?! The crowd is briefly silent with shock but then quickly rebound with some serious heat as the camera pans to reveal the biggest smile that we've ever seen on Sloan's face--he goes over to Raw Assassin and picks him up off of the stretcher by the back of the neck as the paramedics scatter.) [Lilith] Oh, I'm sorry, your just plain Mark Davidson now, right? Well, you knowwhat? I liked you a lot better when you could take care of business...like this! Lilith walks over to Sloan and begins to unleash a series of kicks to the Assassin's stomach. Sloan releases him and he slumps to the mat--Lilith continues her frenzy kicking his face with her pointed, high-heeled boots. She then grabs his head and drops Assassin with a DDT. The crowd is now in a frenzy as Sloan goes to grab the mic... only to have "Devil Man" kick in and the crowd pop hard as Mark Davidson bolts down to ringside. He runs into the ring and spears Sloan *THROUGH THE OPPOSITE ROPES*, causing both men to go outside. Davidson is up first and chokeslams Sloan on the outside of the ring. He then signals to the fans and grabs a nearby steel chair, winding up to tee off on Sloan. As Sloan gets up, Davidson rears up...and Lilith low blows him from behind, causing Davidson to double over and drop the chair. Sloan then hits the Devil Bomb on Davidson right onto the chair, then leaves, taking Lilith with him. Announcers are going nuts right now...Lilith has left her husband for the other side!!! Right now, Tara Jansen comes out to ringside to talk to the announcers. She basically explains what happened...apparently, the decision on last weeks Happy Dawson/Ronnie Frown was succesfully contested...the man who made the three count on Frown *was* an EWC referee, but had not completed the renewal of his license. According to the rules of the match, then, the match was still going on. Mr. Frown took steps to end the match himself...however, Mason Crow was not the *assigned* referee to the original match..therefore he could not *complete* the match. Therefore, the original match was thrown out. She then basically stated that it is her goal to have these two men face off at Slamrock, she just needed to nail down the stipulations. With that, they went on to the next match: DR. FEELGOOD vs. CURTIS "C-Jack" STONE: This bit from Feelgood, first..... ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (We find Dr. Feelgood relaxing, watching "King Of The Death Match" type stuff...) [Feelgood] Ya know, C-Jerk, you're joining a not-very select company. What I mean by that is (opens another beer), is the company of guys whose asses I've kicked. (Takes a long pull at the beer) Ya know, I've heard people ask me - "Doc, why in God's good name are you still doing this to yourself?". Fair question. Hell, only answer I can give is every time I think I've done all I can do, some shriveled up excuse for a man starts shooting his mouth off, and well, I've got me another ass to kick. Breaks down like this, Stone... your soul may belong to Jesus, but your punk ass belongs to me. So this week, all I have to say to you is... come get some. (fade to black) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Feelgood comes out to a hellapop (tm Eric Cartman), but on the other announcement, "El Phantasmo and the Chicken Run Blast-o- Rama" by White Zombie kicks in and Owens strolls out of the back. Apparently C-Jack missed his flight connection, so unfortunately, it's Jon's turn to take out the trash. DR. FEELGOOD vs. JON OWENS This didn't stay pretty long...Feelgood charged Owens as he entered the ring and pretty much dumped the kitchen sink at him, trying to get Owens into the extreme style that Owens has had so much experience with. They roll out of the ring, and Feelgood charges right into a boot from Owens, followed by a gutwrench suplex that dropped Feelgood *hard* on the back of his neck. Owens tosses Feelgood back into the ring and works him over some more with suplexes and neckholds, applying pressure to the neck. Feelgood elbows his way out of the problem, only to have Owens strike the neck again and take over again. At this point, Ronnie Frown comes to ringside and starts cheering on Owens. Owens backs Feelgood into a corner and lays several kicks into him before dragging him out and hitting a T-bone suplex. He then scoops Feelgood up, climbs to the 2nd rope, and *nails* a Northern Lights Bomb (or the Powerdriver, whichever you prefer) onto Feelgood...yet can *still* only get a 2 count. Owens then tries to cinch in an STF, but Feelgood gets to the ropes. Owens picks up Feelgood, turns him around, and tries for the Asylum Suplex, but Feelgood runs up the ropes and flips over to break the hold, then kicks Owens *square* in the jimmies to regain the momentum. Feelgood picks up Owens for a powerbomb, but instead turns around and stunguns him across the stomach, leaving him dangling...only long enough for Feelgood to climb the opposite buckles and hit a flying axehandle to the floor, sending Owens the rest of the way over. Feelgood has decied that he's had enough, and goes for the chair.. Frown grabs the chair from Feelgood, and Feelgood instead LEVELS Frown with a Wrecking Ball. This distraction was enough for Owens to roll back into the ring for the countout win. ######################################## #WINNER: Jon Owens, via countout 7:10# ######################################## Postmatch, Feelgood grabs the chair and swings for Owens, but Ronnie comes in for the double team...which brings Happy Dawson with a chair of his own, and he basically makes like Happy Gilmore and pastes both men a couple of times until they bail and head for the locker room door. Happy is fighting mad at this point, and he calls out Zach Rierson for their match. At this point, they go to a commercial.