We come back from commerical, and Happy is waiting for Zach Rierson
of the Children of Apocalypse to come out. Eventually Zach
does come out, and is jumped by Happy prior to the bell as he rolls
in..
LH TOURNEY MATCH
HAPPY DAWSON vs. ZACH RIERSON of the Children of Apocalypse
Dawson starting out with elbowsmashes and headbutts first off,
basically battering the smaller of the Rierson brothers around
the ring...a whip to the ropes, though, proved fatal as Zach
baseball slid under Dawson and hit a sunset flip-style pinning
combo that almost got a two. Zach hit his feet first and nailed
a spinning heel kick on Dawson, followed by a run to the ropes
and a flying elbowsmash that sent Dawson out of the ring.
Zach quickly scaling the ropes before bouncing off
the center top rope into a moonsault on Happy. Rierson then
sent Happy into the ringstairs, but Happy ducked out of the
way of the flying kneesmash by Rierson and Zach rammed his
knee right into the steel steps.
Dawson rolled back into the ring, and waited as Zach limped in.
Dawson went right to work on the knee, using shouldertackles and
legtrips to weaken the knee. This went on for a few minutes,
with Happy locking in a half-boston crab to slow the momentum
a touch. After a few minutes, Dawson brought Rierson to his feet
and brought him up for a shinbreaker, followed immediately by
a DDT. 2 count. Dawson grabbed Rierson, but Zach countered with a
couple of shots to the sternum and a kick to the solarplexus with
his good leg to buy him a few seconds. Zach tried to walk off the
effects of the leg assault, but Happy hit another legtrip and went
for the half-crab again. This time Zach managed to reach the ropes,
and Happy fell on the leg and started to apply an STF, but Zach
got to the ropes again.
Happy then picked up Zach and went for a belly to back suplex,
but Zach flipped over and hit an enziguri to drop Dawson
like a stone. Dawson gets up, Zach locks on a 3/4 Nelson, then
runs up the ring ropes and hits a stylized diamond cutter on the
flipover rebound. 2 count. Zach then stomped on the neck and
shoulders of Dawson, trying to wear him down. Zach to the top
rope...sommersault senton with the body landing nearer to the
neck than to the victim's body (That looked like it hurt). 2 3/4
count. Zach visibly shows frustration. He picks up Dawson and
nails a leg driver DDT, then heads for the top...shooting star press!!
That was Rierson's finisher, "The End"...and it *still*
only got a 2 3/4 count. Zach grabs Dawson again..and Dawson with
a quick stomach punch followed by a DDT regained the momentum, only
both men were now down. Rierson made it to his feet first, sent
Dawson to the ropes, ducks a clothesline, Dawson goes behind, locks
on a full nelson...HAPPY DRIVER (full-nelson forward Russian leg
sweep)...3 count, with the third count hitting *RIGHT* as a bell
rings. After a minute of confusion, it is noted that the time limit
expired right before the 3rd count, so the match was a 20 minute time limit draw.
#########################
# WINNER: Draw (20:00) #
#########################
After the commercial, they show the match between Fuego and Sim
for Round 3 of their best-of-5
BEST OF 5 SERIES: Lumberjack Match
Fuego vs. Chris Sim
Since this was for Wakeup Call, a bunch of the EWC's midcarders
and breakout talent were the lumberjacks for this one....faces
seen were 2 Cool Dudes, the Children of Apocalypse, Grant Harrison,
"Nuclear" Nick Duncan, Shoji Watanable, and others. They were
mainly there to keep the two men in the ring, and they really weren't a
factor in the match.
It was a contrast in temperments. Sim said *nothing* when he
came out, while Fuego seemed to be enraged about the last
match, and therefore was a little sloppier in his execution.
This was the same basic kind of match as Match 1, with both
men going back and forth, both men going to the lumberjacks,
etc. The match ended after Fuego hit a nice T-bone suplex,
then went to the top rope..he went for a frog splash but Sim
got his legs up....Fuego rolled over, and when he got up he
ate a 2nd turnbuckle leaping Crosshairs from Sim for the 1..2..
3. Postmatch, Sim gloated for a few seconds but then took off
for the hills when Fuego was upright.
##########################################
# WINNER: Chris Sim, via pinfall 8:31 #
##########################################
There's yet another commerical, and when we return, Dr. Destructo
is on his way to the ring...he enters the ring and grabs the
microphone!?!?! (Whoa, I didn't know Destructo could talk....)
[Destructo]
"You know, I've been in wrestling a long while. I've wrestled matches
in barbed wire, I've been in street fights, hell, I even had one match
where the FANS were given bricks to throw at us....I've fought musclemen,
I've fought flyers. I've given out pain, and received some back. But this
is the first time, the VERY first time that I've been given a chance to
wrestle someone with some skill. Roker, I'm glad you picked up the
challenge, but I'm sorry I'm gonna have to destroy ya..."
with that, "It's Showtime" played and the former EWC World Champion
came out, all business. Vanessa Stone was *immediately* on
Roker with the whole sellout thing...but she didn't have much time
to get on it.
ROKER SHOWTIME vs. DR. DESTRUCTO
This wasn't a squash, but this was a fast win. Destructo came
out swinging, backing Roker into the corner, then sending him
to the opposite corner...Roker dodged a running shoulderblock
charge by Destructo, then came in with some knife-edge chops,
followed by a European forearm smash that echoed through the arena.
Roker grabbed Destructo, but the Doctor with several forearm shots
to the sternum area, followed up by a kneelift that staggered
Roker to the ropes. Destructo with an irish whip to the ropes,
but Roker reverses...and NAILS A BELLY TO BELLY ON THE BACKSWING!!
Cover for...3!!! Destructo was stunned long enough for Roker
to get the quick three count (although there was no indication
of a fast count by referee Gerald Riley)
############################################
# WINNER: Roker SHowtime, via pinfall :52 #
############################################
Roker rolled out of the ring quickly, face still all business,
and walked back to the dressing room. Destructo was very upset
about the quick loss, and stalked his way back to the dressing room.
Announcers talk about the TV Title match coming up...when....
{"Ronnie" by Metallica blares on the speakers, and the camera
cuts to show Ronnie Frown standing at the aisle, clad in grey
jeans and a ragged, slashed up EWC souvenir t-shirt (from the
"old" EWC days); after a moment, he begins to stalk to the ring;
stepping inside, he takes the microphone from the ring announcer.}
[Ronnie Frown]
{to announcer} You got a problem? You ain't gettin' paid by the
clock, so you can sit tight there for five minutes.
{faces crowd} And all of you can save your breath -- hissing me
is just wishful thinking on your part to the effect that I might
care, which I don't. This isn't about you, this is about me, and
Mr. Happy Dawson.
Dawson, you seemed to have a lot of things on your mind before
our first match, and since you had to open your damn yap they've
been on MY mind for a while. Let me hand you three of the sad
facts of life, and double your sum total education.
ONE, you say you took my best shot before the Footbrawl ...
Dawson, if you think I was really going to waste my best on you
when I had more than a dozen other boys to worry about in a bout
that COUNTS, you're dumb AND crazy. Sad fact of life, Dawson, is
you were a momentary warm-up, nothing more. TWO, you say you
weren't impressed with what I did ... well I don't particularly
*care* about whether Mr. Happy Dawson is IMPRESSED with me --
what Ronnie Frown does, he does for HIMSELF, not for you. And let
me tell you, I came real close to feeling good watching you lyin'
on the lockerroom floor mewling like a sick dog. And THREE, you
say you've gotten bored by listening to me. Well, you just KNOW
I'm *real* sorry to hear you're not having a good time. As it
happens, I find I can tolerate your state of boredom with great
dignity and patience.
{pause} But I'm not out here to bury you tonight, Happy. I came
out here to THANK you. That's right, I'm here to thank Happy
Dawson, for the fashionably late Christmas present he delivered
right to my locker room door. As I figure it, because of YOU,
Happy Dawson ... Ronnie Frown is now THE undisputed endurance
king of the SWA. Thirty minutes ... sixty minutes ... NINETY
minutes ... {snaps his fingers dismissively} easy. Ronnie Frown
went the distance for TEN THOUSAND AND TWENTY minutes.
Our match is now a thing of legend, Mr. Dawson, and I'm sure it
gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside to know YOU had a part in
generating such memorable moments as these ...
{He gestures to the video wall, which begins displaying a montage
of clips: Happy Dawson hits a sliding dropkick on Ronnie Frown as
he's hung upside down over a railing ... Frown snaps a belly to
belly suplex that smacks Dawson into a concrete post, holding him
there for a pin attempt ... Ronnie Frown sits at a McDonalds
booth, dipping McNuggets into hot mustard sauce ... Ronnie Frown
reads a newspaper on a park bench ... Ronnie Frown enters a movie
theatre, pausing for a moment to point up at the marquee
("Payback") ... Ronnie leaves the theatre, making a thumbs-down
gesture ... Ronnie and Jon Owens attack Dawson (as seen
earlier).}
[Frown]
Now, was that not an exciting week of non-stop action or what?
And, as I said, I owe it all to Happy Dawson -- the one man in
this league pansy enough that Jeremy goddamn Byron could kick
around for three days minimum. That's your place in history,
Dawson -- and if you and what fans you have left aren't satisfied
with it ... get used to disappointment.
{He throws down the microphone and steps out of the ring, heading
back down the aisle as "Ronnie" by Metallica cues up again.}
As Frown walks back, the announcers obviously state that the
match was thrown out, and even if it wasn't, the match didn't go
all week long. Cross was sure that Dawson would have somehting
to say about Frown being the so-called "Endurance King"
They then go to a video clip from none other than tonight's
challenger for the TV Title...Mr. Jeremy Byron
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
{Back of the arena, near the parking lot entrance Jeremy Byron walks down
the hallway getting pats on the back and handshakes by the EWC ring and
production crew. "Atta boys," thumbs-up, and other praise follows the
blue-jean and Philadelphia Eagle Starter jacket wearing man who has
quickly become the sentimental superstar of EWC. Byron waves at nearly
everybody and then runs into the camera crew as somebody hands him a mic.}
[Byron]
(glancing at the mic) Whoa, never thought I'd ever get one of these things.
(looking up at the ceiling) Let's see, the last couple of weeks have been
really wild for me and I'd like to thank everybody for their support.
In fact, let me share a story with you: The other night I came home and
my wife and daughter had a cake for me and a banner that said "We're Proud
of you Daddy" and that brought tears to my eyes. I've paid a lot of
dues in this sport and it's good to finally see the payoff, especially
in the eyes of those people I care most about. I mean, I've done it!
And to be honest, I'm pretty darn proud of myself.
Chris Sim, you and everybody out there knows that you're only this much
(Byron holds up his hand with the thumb and forefinger an inch apart)
better than me, and someday soon I'm going to show you how I've closed that gap.
Raw Assassin, what can I say? Somebody had to fall short and it was my
night to go the extra mile. I know where you're at because I've spent my
whole career in that same hole, ya gotta keep digging.
Now tonight, I've got Brad Watkins. *Whew* Things never get easier. I know
ou're the TV champ, heck you've been a champ at everything you've ever done,
and I'm just Jeremy Byron. But lately, that's all I've had to be...and that's
more than enough to take you out.
Um, thanks.
{Byron passes the mic off to a TV crew member and shakes hands with the
lighting guy before making his way into the lockeroom.}
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
TV TITLE MATCH
"Bad" BRAD WATKINS vs. JEREMY BYRON
Byron is out first to "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba, and he's starting to get
used to the fan support now, slapping hands on
the way down to the ring and playing to the crowd a bit. This
is followed by boos as...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
{"I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide" by ZZTop plays and "Bad" Brad Watkins gingerly walks
out holding his left side. Despite the obvious discomfort, Watkins waves to all
the "fans" of Frozen Hell through an exaggerated wince of pain. Strapped about
his trim waist rests the EWC Television Title, he wears a Frozen Hell sweatshirt,
a Keystone Gamblers baseball cap and carries his Penn State football helmet in his
right hand. With nods to imaginary praise, Bad Brad makes his way up the steps
into the ring and asks for the mic after hanging the helmet on the ringpost.}
Watkins: Thanks, thanks, you are all too kind. Believe me when I say, it's a
big responsibility but I love being the Television Champion and I do it all
for you. *wince* I know this is something many of you will never be able
to relate to, but I've just got to get it off my chest. It is so incredible
to be a success and be part of a team with guys who can understand the pressures.
*wince* Torvald is the greatest technical wrestler and mind in not one, but two
businesses. The man is a legend throughout the world and a shoo-in for Best Actor
at the Lutefish Film Awards. Then when I see a World Champion that is so cowardly
that he disqualifies himself when he is getting his ass kicked by the "Canadian
Superstar" Chris Sim just so he can keep his belt, I realize why you people
cheer me so.
(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
*uhhh* (Watkins grabs his side)
Feelgood, you're one lucky man, if Torvald hadn't shown up to keep me from
killing you when he did, I'd be in jail and you'd be lying on some slab
somewhere. Sooner or later your luck is going to run out. And when it
does, I'm going to be the man to cash in your chips.
*wince*...
{Watkins struggles for a breath and calls over the referee to assist him in
removing the TV Belt and shedding the FH sweatshirt. Once it is removed
everyone can see that Watkins' ribs on the left side are heavily taped.
He then turns to face Byron}
Do you see what you did to me? (indicating his ribs) You know, when
they told me I was defending my belt against you I busted a gut
laughing....fortunately, there is always a physician on the set at
Frozen Hell 5. Recovery is assured, once I beat the hell out of your
pipe dream. (Watkins rips off the tape and throws it at Byron)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The match starts with Watkins using power moves to bully Byron into
the far corner. He moves in, lays a cross chop...then Byron switches
places and lays five fast knife-edges across the chest of
Watkins, then whips him to the opposite buckle and catches a backdrop
on the way out...Watkins rolls out of the ring and the
crowd pops for Byron. Watkins jumps on the apron with his helmet
in his hand and threatens to paste Byron, but referee Wayne Winans
tells him to put it down..Watkins comprompises by hanging the
helmet on the ringpost.
The match is very back and forth, with Byron gathering control
by working on the arm with armbars, elbowsmashes and armstretches,
while Watkins used his power to bully around the much smaller
Byron. At one point, Watkins hit Byron with a high knee, then
hit a powerbomb, held onto the legs, and fell back in a slingshot
catapult that sent Byron across the ring...good combo by Watkins.
Eventually Byron worked his way back into it, nailing Watkins with
a dropkick, then a springboard back elbowsmash for a 2 count.
Watkins speared Byron, then rolled out of the ring and grabbed his
belt from the table. He re-entered the ring, dropped the belt
and proceeded to go for his helmet...apparently it looked as if he
was frustrated and leaving...Byron capitalized...dropkick from behind
sent Watkins head first into the football helmet...Watkins
staggered back right into an "Equalizer" Stone Cold Stunner...1..2....3!!!!
We have a new TV Champion!!!
############################################
# WINNER: Jeremy Byron, by pinfall 12:32 #
############################################
After the match, a host of the faces came out to congratulate
Byron, and Byron held his belt high to a *LOUD* Pop by the fans.
They went to a commercial, promising the FCA match after this...