*MAIN EVENT* FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE MATCH "Canadian Sensation" Chris Sim vs. "Excitable Boy" Ernie Grendel Tara Jansen out first, says she's going to be watching this to make sure there's a clean ending. Warns the entire EWC that interference in this match will result in a one year ban from the EWC...wrestling, personal appearances, period. Also has assigned Gerald Riley to call the match. Grendel out first to "Crazy" by Seal to an *insane* pop...if Ernie isn't the most popular man in the fed, he's gotta be in the top 3..or maybe everyone's just popping for the fact that this is gonna get nasty. There's about 20 minutes in TV time left so they could do some neat things...then Sim is announced and I remember that Sim hasn't done his weekly sermon yet....he talks from the top of the entrance ramp, a safe distance from everyone... ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ [Sim] Thank you, thank you, I love you all too, it feels *sooooooooo* good to get this great reception! (BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!) Fuegy, you know I never took you for a coward, far from it actually, a poor wrestler, a bad interview, and a pitiful dresser, of course, but not a coward. But I must say what you did last week was very cowardly. Instead of taking on Frozen Hell and Myself, you realized that there was no way you could *ever* beat me let alone the three of us. So you decided to take the easy way out, you ran. (So starts a "bulls**t" chant.) Now, folks i'm sure Fuegy's going to try to tell you another side of the story but you weren't up close to him, you didn't see the fear in his eyes when he saw the three of us in that ring. So instead of even trying to have a match you just go back to what you do best and that's swing a chair around like a lunatic to save yourself from the beatdown you knew was coming your way. Thats why you can never call yourself Sensational, you see when the odds are stacked against me i'll come back fighting, and by hook or by crook I will come out the winner. You see, Fuegy you tried to screw me, but last week was lesson number two, if you screw with me expect to be screwed harder 'cause no one can screw like Chris Sim ... (Sim glances over the crowd to see their reaction and smiles.) Do I have to say "YEEEEESSSSSSSS" here, or is it just me? (This gets some laughter from the crowd, but most people just boo mercilessly) Now Tara, last week you kept talking about this dog show, now I don't know when they started to televise your family reunion ... Anyways! Tara, honey, sweetie, it looks like you too will have to learn lesson number two. (Jansen is furious at this point, and *GRENDEL* is holding her back...) You know what i'm talking about, this Grendel thing. Ok, i'll bite, which both of us know is a reversal in roles for us. I'll give you this you put a kink in my plans I was hoping to have Ern out of my hair for about a month or so, and I was sure he couldn't do it, I had him right where I wanted him, ready for a complete psycholical breakdown. But now that I think about it, that isn't so important is it, as he has definately suffered from that long enough. (So starts the required "Kick his ass Ernie, Kick his ass" chant.) Now, I could stand here and complain due to the fact that I had been defending the title against Fuego as far as everyone knew, and i've been more active than any other EWC wrestler. But, I won't. Instead i'm going to thank you Tara ... you see after this match Grendel won't be in my hair for much longer than a month. Ern, you see it would seem that Tara has put you in the worst position possible now...you're in a match with me. In fact you are in a no disqualification, no interference, falls count anywhere match with me. (CROWD POP TO THE STARS.) I feel for you. Ern, you have become a major pain in the ass over the last little while, and what started out as business will become pleasure tonight. You see, i'm going to prove that a great wrestler can go to extremes, i've put my body on the line before, i've taken the worst punishment people could give out, and i'm still standing. I've had to prove to people before that i'm an ironman and that I could wrestle, now everyone knows that. I'm used to proving things to people, i'm sure nobody in this arena gives me the slightest chance in hell to win this match. It's been a long time since i've been the underdog but it's a role I play well. Tonight Ern, I prove that I can be hardcore, and when I pin your shoulders down for the three count, i'm going to silence everyone who doubted me ... When I have something to prove Ern, i'm deadly, so tonight you learn what lesson number one is. It's simply that Chris Sim is better than you! Now, i'm going to make sure no one forgets it ... (At this point Sim throws down the mic and points at Grendel. Sim then gets the referee to back Grendel into a corner before he hops into the ring over the top rope.) The bell rings and both men tie up center ring..and this is the last time the match is civil. Sim pushes Ernie into the corner and lets loose with 4-5 rapid fire chops.....Ernie just looks up, lets his hair mosh a bit, and WAFFLES Sim with a chest slap that sends him backwards and through the ropes. Let the games begin..about 13 minutes left in TV Time. Sim stands up, Ern in a reverse baseball-slide into the tornado DDT that is *still* getting massive crowd pops everytime it's done. Grendel up immediately, jumps on the ring apron, and backflips into a legdrop while Sim is down. Rolls Sim over, covers. 2 count. Ernie grabs a nearby chair, Sim hits a low blow then DDT's on the chair. Sim slowly gets up, as does Ernie, who's still holding onto the chair...Sim tries to dropkick the chair into Ernie's face, but Ernie sidesteps and Sim lands back first on the concrete. Ern with a couple chairshots to the back, then unfolds the chair and places it upside down over Sim's face. Ernie then climbs to the railing and moonsaults onto the chair, crushing it right onto Sim. Ernie attempts a pin with the chair still laying on Sim's face but only gets a two count. Ernie tosses the broken chair aside, and grabs for another one..this time Sim hits a superkick into the chair, knocking Ernie into the broadcast booth. Sim then grabs the headset from Dr. Strange... thinks a minute..then says "I've said enough" and chokes Ernie with the cable, with the mike picking Ernie's screams up. Sim then grabs the chair, grabs Ernie, and European Piledriver's him onto the chair. Cover, 2 count. Sim then places Ernie's leg between the chair seat and the chair back and "Pillman's" Ernie's leg, stomping on the chair seat and making a leg sandwich of Grendel's leg. Sim up, picks Ernie up as if going for a shinbuster, and tosses Ernie knee first onto the steel steps. Sim then picks up the steel steps, tosses it on Ernie's leg....and then takes off. Leaves the ringside area. A minute later, Ernie takes off after him, as quickly as his leg will take him. He limps back up the ramp, into the back entryway (the camera follows)...and right into a blast of fire extinguisher by Sim, followed by an extinguisher can right into the knee. Sim grabs a nearby steel pole...but Grendel lobs a hard fastball... or should I say a fast cleat (shoe lying around) right into Sim's groin *PERFECT shot*, causing Sim to drop the pole. Ernie then grabbed the pole and proved himself a master at quarterstaff fighting, knocking Sim six ways to sunday and showing some very fancy moves with the steel staff. Grendel got to his feet, walked off some of the soreness, and nailed a spinning back fist to stun Sim, then a dropkick to send Sim.... ...into the ladies room! Fortunately no one was in there, but Ernie followed up by tossing Sim into a nearby stall. Ernie follows in *it was the handicapped stall*, shoves Sim's face in the toilet, and flushes!!!! SWIRLY TIME!!!! Ernie then picks Sim up, gets him in tombstone piledriver position, then tombstone's him head first INTO THE TOILET!!!!..and then flushes again!!!! Grendel shouts out "DAMMIT, I HATE IT WHEN THE LAST NUGGET DOESN'T FLUSH", and then grabs the nearby plunger and jams Sim's head in and out of the toilet a few times before grabbing Sim's very wet head and tossing him head first into the steel..uh, feminine products dispenser. Anotehr dropkick and the dispenser opens, dumping a bunch of, uh, feminine products all over Sim. As Grendel moves in, Sim grabs a small bottle that came out of the dispenser, and squirts the contents into Ernie's eyes (Strange called it a vinegar/water mixture), then kicks him in the jimmies and grabs him head first and pulls him out of the bathroom, still dripping wet. Sim tosses Ernie into a nearby stack of scaffolding, then grabs a nearby board and breaks it across Ernie's back. Cover, 2 count. Sim grabs a nearby table, sets Ernie on it, and then crawls up the ladder to a gangway about 10 feet high. Sim jumps..hipbuster elbow and the TABLE DOESN'T BREAK! Sim goes up again...Ernie manages to roll off, and Sim lands feet first, with the table not breaking AGAIN!...only Ernie ducks his head between Sim's legs grabs his legs, and falls back right into a nearby pile of wood in a modified electric chair suplex. Both men stop moving for a bit (Sim was cut up the side of his abdomen as he fell, but the scratch looked superficial.) Sim's up first, but Ernie gets first attack with a shot to the abdomen, then an uppercut to the face, staggering Sim back out onto the entrance ramp, all the way to the edge of the 12 foot high stage....with Sim just stopping short before falling over. Ernie with a spinning elbow, then a running leg lariat that knocked Sim cold onto the steel stage. Ernie then picked Sim up...LAWN DART ON THE STEEL STAGE!!!!! Sim hits with a thud and rolls off the stage 10 feet onto another table. Ernie then signals the fans..then gets a nearby ladder, sets it near the stage edge, and gets on top, putting him a good 20 feet in the air. The fans are electrified as he signals...SKYTWISTER PRESS!! and SIM ROLLS OFF THE TABLE!!! Ernie lands, does not break the table itself, just one of the legs. Sim is dazed and bleeding, Ernie is about unconscious. Sim grabs the table and props it on the steel guardrail near the fans...then tosses Ernie onto it, hanging him by his arms across the guardrail so he'll stay propped up. He then climbs the ramp back onto stage, tells the camera "Fuego, pay attention", and sets the ladder up right on the edge of the stage. Sim then walks to the back of the stage and RUNS UP THE LADDER! The weight sends the ladder forward off the stage, sending Sim 20 feet high and about 15 feet across..sim makes the CROSSHAIRS AND SPLINTERS ERNIE THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!! "CROSSHAIRS" FOREARM SMASH OFF THE LADDER AND OFF THE STAGE!!! Both men are unconscious, but Sim's on top of Ernie, adn that's good enough for the referee, who counts the three. ########################################## # WINNER: Chris Sim, via pinfall 11:42 # # SIM RETAINS THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE # ########################################## Postmatch, paramedics take Sim away first, then set up Ernie... only to have the paramedics jumped from behind by two LARGE men, who beat them down, then proceed to kick and stomp Ernie pretty much into oblivion. The one larger man then grabs Ernie as the other gets onto the steel railing...then hits a tandem giant swing bomb/flying axe kick that drives Ernie into the concrete. Cue Bill Curtis and Jay Gillette for the save, but both men meet them toe for toe....at this point, a *third* man comes out from the crowd and gets Ernie in an airplane spin position..the camera comes to bear with the lights on..and it's former EWF LH Champion CHRIS MONROE!!!! Chris spins around in an airplane spin for about four seconds before spinning down into a Death Valley Driver that almost causes Grendel to *bounce* off of the concrete. At this point officials are all over the place..the camera gets a look at one of the bigger guys, Strange identifies him as Sitting Bull of the tag team Siouxnami, and all hell breaks loose as they run out of time and the credits come on screen.