MATCH #5: Titus Moongarden vs. Mikhail Tszkova
"Heaven for Everyone" from Queen comes on and Tszkova slowly walks down
to ringside, removes his sash, and places it on the announcers table.
After seeing what happened in the back, the fans are obviously quite upset
and are booing Tszkova. They show another shot to the back and see a bleeding
profusely Moongarden being attended to by paramedics and Adrienne Solo.
After a brief period of this, the referee awards the match to Tszkova due to Titus
not being able to answer the bell.
#############################################################
# WINNER: "The Philosopher" Mikhail Tszkova, via forefeit #
#############################################################
ANNOUNCERS: Stone, predictable, thought Tszkova was a breath of fresh air for the
EWC, and was very impressed with how he shut "hippie boy" up. Cross was disgusted
by the incident, and wondered if Moongarden would have it in him for a retaliation.
MATCH #6: TR Parker vs. Jeremy Byron: LOSER LEAVES EWC
"Strutter" by KISS comes on and the place goes apeshit. Parker is
coming down to ringside with fire in his eyes, Mississippi Queen by his side.
Parker struts in ring and is calling Byron out with language that would make a
sailor blush. The arena lights go dark and the Solotron comes on...and Jeremy
Byron is standing outside the Sears Tower in Chicage with a big ass grin on his
face. Parker looks furious as something is beginning to dawn on him.
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[Byron]
Hey, TR, ol' buddy!!!! How's it hanging? I'm coming at you right now from
beautiful downtown Chicago, otherwise known as MY NEW HOME!!!! You see, TR,
you may have wanted to have the satisfaction of being able to say that you
kicked a future superstar out of the EWC...just like the EWC brass did to you,
so many years ago....well, guess what, TR? No chance. I'm not there tonight!
*LOUD boos from the fans, Parker is livid*
You see, Ty-D-Bowl man, I know that if one thing is true about life...we dislike
in others what we hate in ourselves. You've made a career out of making fools
out of people and then moving on before they had a chance to retaliate! You
did it here to the Slayer, you did it in AWA with John Robertson, you did it
in VCW to Commander UselessA..it's your calling card. And what's sticking
in your craw right now is that I did it to you, and now you want payback.
And I'm not going to give it to you! I REFUSED TO SIGN THE CONTRACT FOR
THE LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH!
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*
The EWC fired me for it, but I don't care...I'm up here in Chicago being
treated like the star that I am. And anytime you *REALLY* want a piece
of Lord Byron, you just haul your Mississippi Masala's right up north,
and I'll be glad to treat both you and the Trailer Park Queen to a night
you'll never forget.
But I didn't want to leave without giving you a match tonight. You see,
I found someone else that was MORE than willing to sign that contract.
So yes, TR Parker, you are in a Loser Leaves EWC match tonight. But it's
against someone else who is sick and tired of the mutual admiration
society between your ego and these idiot fans....and I think you'll know
him by this..."
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Byron lifts into the viewing range...a mask. The mask of TR's old tag team
partner Wildcard! Parker looks like he's just seen a ghost. Unfortunately,
he wasn't paying too much attention as Wildcard emerged FROM THE FANS on the
other side and blindsided Parker from behind with a springboard clothesline.
MATCH #6: TR PARKER vs. WILDCARD
Parker sprawls outside the ring, and starts to get up..and runs right into
Wildcard's springboard moonsault!!! Card gets up and starts stomping heinously
on TR. He picks TR up and rams him into the steel ringpost, then grabs a
nearby chair..swings, misses Parker, hits the steel ringpost. Parker with the low
blow *and a high crowd pop* followed by a yank on Wildcard's trunks
causing Card to bounce his head off the steel ringpost.
Parker then goes over and picks up the chair, but as Parker turns around
Card hits a Van Damninator into the chair, sending TR sprawling. He then
picks up TR and piledrives him onto the steel chair, then rolls him back
into the ring.
Inside the ring, Card is just laying fists and boots all over the place.
Think about five solid minutes of offense, with several two counts. Finally, Card
gets up, springs onto the top rope, and does one...two...three jumps
into a shooting star press. Referee Ray Chapman counts...one....two......
Mississippi Queen puts TR's foot on the ropes when the referee isn't looking.
This draws Card's attention, and he rolls outside the ring to start walking
down the Queen. Queen backs up slowly but shows no fear. Parker finally
gets to his feet, and goes for the springboard "Air Strutter" Clothesline
as Card is about to get to the Queen.
TR up and pounding the daylights out of WIldcard, kicking and punching. He
throws him back inside, climbs to the top rope, and nails a moonsault for
a two count. He then picks Card up, kick to the stomach, goes for the
Strutter Cutter but Card pushes out of it, Parker rebounds, crashes into
Card, who crashes into the referee, who is now KOed. Card is up first,
he kicks Parker in the gut, hits a Strutter Cutter of his own, and
covers, to no count.
At this point, ANOTHER Wildcard, much bigger than the first, is walking
to the ring. He gets to ringside as Card 1 is making the cover....as
Card 1 gets up to get the referee, Card 2 grabs Card 1's legs, dropping
him facefirst to the mat. 2 drags 1 out, and sets him up for a
piledriver onto the concrete. 2 then rolls in..and lays down as the
referee is just getting a semblence of consciousness. Parker
as MQ revived the ref enough to make the 3 count.
#######################################
# WINNER: TR Parker, by pinfall 8:12 #
#######################################
Postmatch, with the ref still almost unconscious, the big Card threw
the little Card back into the ring....Parker grabbed him and started
pulling on the mask...to reveal Jeremy Byron. Byron charged Parker...
Parker Strutter Cuttered him over the top rope..the referee saw the
unmasked Byron (The other Card disappeared into the crowd) and declared
Byron to be banned from EWC! Byron was furious, but started to run
when Parker started after him.
Commmercial, then...
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{"Couldn't Stand the Weather" by Stevie Ray Vaughn and Double Trouble
kicks up on the speakers; not long after, Glenn Turner heads down the
aisle in street clothes and an Arizona Diamondbacks jacket, followed
by the towering, glowering form of Toshiro Kenzake in black leather,
a World Tag Title belt slung over either shoulder ...}
Hold on a sec, weren't these two supposed to be in
Japan?
Apparently Armand LeBeaux had gotten some erroneous
information here, as the World Tag Team champions are
here, and larger than life itself!!!!
[GT]
Umm ... surprise!
*CROWD POP*
Evenin', folks ... it seems we have what you might call a "failure to
communicate" here ... but our "overseas commitments" wrapped up a little
early and we decided to hop a plane on back. Good thing, too, since it
seems a few people upstairs are a little steamed at us.
[TK]
{looking extremely sour} Yes -- say something while we still have
names worth keeping ... we fight to exhaustion at Slamrock, and cannot
take ONE week with our families to recover? ONE WEEK?!
[GT]
Hey, hey, simmer down, compadre -- remember what we said in back? Belts
good, fines bad? Let's not give Ms. Jansen or her boss any ammo,
comprende?
[TK]
{folds arms} Eh. We lose the belts soon enough. I would rather not lose
honor as well.
[GT]
Still, Mr. Sol--er, LeB--er, the boss-man does have a point of sorts.
After all, the EWC kinda had a piece of paper sayin' we'd be in Chicago?
So if we can get him to pop on out here for a little bit, we've got
something to say. Nothing fancy, no I-want-to-stare-you-downs or
loudmouthed putdowns -- I just want to make sure you're still in the
building.
{There is general crowd noise for a second...then "Born on the Bayou"
kicks on and the hometown crowd kicks in...LeBeaux walks out with a
mic in his hand..with a smile on his face. Toshiro reacts as
if confronted by a rulebreaker, starting to leave the ring and head
towards him, but Glenn stalls him}
[LeBeaux]
Heh...simmer down there, big man...I don't think you want to do that.
Glenn, welcome back to America.
[GT]
Nice to see you again, prez. Sorry about being incommunicado there for
awhile -- and for what it's worth, we're real sorry. The Weapons had every
intention of showing up last week, but we just needed the time off after
Slamrock, to patch ourselves up. But we did do some thinkin' while sittin'
on the sidelines. And it was kind of appropriate that Slamrock
happened at a place of learning, because we learned a lot of important
lessons in Penn State, didn't we, Tosh?
[TK]
{Turning his attention back to Turner} Yes. For one, we learned we need
to carry bolt-cutters.
[GT]
Gooooood point ... but I was thinking more that we learned not to have
fun with your /opponents'/ game so much you forget what YOUR game is.
[TK]
Which would have been bolt-cutters.
[GT]
How many times to I have to say I screwed up? Sheesh.
[TK]
{smiles slightly} Just once, on camera ... Retrospection? You fight fair,
you lose. You cheat, you lose. Do you see the pattern? If not, we can
show you again some time. But for now, we have more important things to
accomplish -- and some people we owe.
[GT]
Which brings us around full-circle, to the boss-man's mandate. You're gonna
let us pick the guys to beat our brains in, huh? I don't see where it's
much of a choice. I mean, we COULD beg Torvald & Dean to take some time
out of their busy Hollywood schedules to actually wrestle now and then ...
but then, we've already got them for a Hot Summer Night anyway. We could
see if anyone WOULD tag with Chris Sim. We could even try and play it
clever, and demand the Strutter tag one more time with Byron.
[TK]
Or we could tell Mr. LeBeaux to find a partner himself. {He shrugs the
belts down and holds them out towards the prez}. You don't think these
belong with us? Come and take them away, then --
(LeBeaux's smile goes away..he stares, and starts walking to a suprised
crowd reaction. Toshiro gets ready to move, but Turner turns around and
stops him. Upon seeing this, LeBeaux backs up a bit)
[GT]
WHOA, whoa, take it easy -- besides the fact that it's a bad idea to
get in a fight with the guy who signs the checks, we can't throw those
away just yet, remember?
[TK]
Right -- we have a debt of honor to pay. We have a match we HAVE to
wrestle.
[GT]
Glad you remembered -- I'd hate to have to argue it now ... but to get
to the point, people ... fact is, if it weren't for a couple of guys
who thought pretty quickly, we wouldn't even HAVE these belts now, and
Retrospection would be out here talking about how we're a couple of
has-beens. And we're pretty grateful about that.
[TK]
Baen and Cannon did not have to help us. They were not our friends.
Even if they do not like Retrospection, they could have fought them
after the match, and no-one would have questioned it.
[GT]
But y'all didn't, and you pulled our tails out of the fire when we got
too cocky for our own good. So, to answer your question, Armand, who
we give the next title shot isn't really our decision -- it was made
at Slamrock. You MIGHT even say it's ... Beyond Our Control ...
*BIG crowd pop*
[LeBeaux]
So you guys want Beyond Our Control? That's all I needed. I'm not out to
bury either of you...I just want happy fans. And fans will be happy to
see you defend those belts against the Cut 'n Shoot duo! You want them?
YOU GOT THEM, NEXT WEEK!!!!
*LOUD crowd pop as LeBeaux leaves the stage and "Couldn't Stand the Weather"
kicks back in.*