We are back, and we've got John Sliver in the ring now, he's getting set to take on... ...unfortunately, we never get to know who that is as as "Check" by Zebrahead cuts onto the PA and "The Revolution" Mike Powers heads towards the ring in street clothes, complete with a black leather trenchcoat and sunglasses. Once at ringside, he climbs onto the top turnbuckle, outstretches his arms into a V and then sommersaults into the ring.) You know, I don't mind telling you that I'm getting a little tired of this punk. He's been out here three weeks in a row, and all he's done is complain. He feels he's not being given proper consideration by the competition committee here at EWC, and he's making his voice known publicly. I got a clue for the little yutz...beat someone important. You look *reallly* good...but anyone can look good against a Bean Martinez. There's no denying he's one of the up and comers here, but what purpose does he hope to serve by coming out here week after week and berating the EWC's light-heavyweights? Silver approaches Powers and shrugs, confused by his presence, only to be met with a mic shot to the head before he literally gets his head kicked in. Powers then picked up Silver, pressed him high into the air, ran forward and then hit a running sit-down slam. After spitting on Silver's fallen body, Powers turns on the house mic. @%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@ [Powers] (pauses to bask in the chours of boos) That's right let me have it! Try to get a rise out of me all you want but once I've said my peace I'm going home to a life of women, wine, and luxury and you're going to have to crawl *cough* home and climb into bed with that slab of lard you try to pass off as a *heh, heh, heh* woman. So keep booing, and try to use those farm arms to toss your Duff beers at me, but it's NOT going to shut me up--nothing will!!! Last week I came out here and dismantled some poor wannabe to prove a point--I showed each and every one of you that without hitting one move of note I could crush the best the EWC has to offer. I came out here and listened to all of you yell and scream for your heroes Bill Curtis and Ernie Grendel...but they never came. Well, they actually managed to impress THE superior talent in the EWC, because they showed they were smart enough to stay cowering in the back and keep their mouths shut. So I went home last week and while I was sitting in the hot tub exploring a fine lady's tunnel of love, it hit me. After all the time and energy I've wasted out here screaming for Cut N' Shoot, it was completely off base. (Powers voice totally changes) You know what? I had no business coming out here and using air time to call out Grendel and Curtis. It was a HUGE mistake. I let the politics and the smarts get under my skin and it forced me to make some bad choices. So let me take a deep breath and then say what I should have made clear from the start.... (he takes an exaggerated deep breath, removes his sunglasses, and stares right at the camera) [Powers] (in a very quiet, sincere voice) Bill Curtis and Ernie Grendel are by far the BEST light heavyweights the EWC has to offer...hands down they are the pinnacle of what this company has ever produced..... ...(suddenly exploding) AND THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING, _PATHETIC_ THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!!! This is SUPPOSED to be where the best in the business come to fight and their two "TOP STARS" couldn't pin an indie-circuit midget. Hell, my impotent, four-fingered cousin could take them. PRES...I KNOW you're sitting back there monitoring my every word, I KNOW you're just dying to shut me up. Well, I am here today to CHALLENGE you LeBeaux!!! I don't want you to fight me--even I have a heart. I want you to go out there and sign a REAL wrestler to put in the ring against me. Somebody, ANYbody. I'll tell you what, if you can actually convince ANYONE with a name and some real talent to come wrestler for this sh*thole and I'll fight whoever it is, whenever you want. Make it for Lord of the Rings, put it on Wake Up Call, hell, even do it at a house show--anywhere, anytime, anyone...I dare you!!! And to make this even easier for you to accept, you don't even have to tell me who the sucker is. It won't make a difference anyway. If you've got ANY guts, then you and all these pieces of pond scum will finally get to see why I'm a Revolution and the rest of you are just old news!!! (Powers puts down the mic and turns to leave when he notices that Silver is just getting up. He comes off the ropes and hits a vicious looking mafia kick to the head that sends him flying over the top rope. Then, in one breath-taking motion, Powers hits the ropes, charges towards the ramp, sommersaults himself onto the top rope, springboards off and hits a missile drop kick. With that taken care of, Powers leaves to serious heat.) This has gone too far. In ring competiton is one thing. But he had no right or no reason to attack John Silver. He wasn't even scheduled to wrestle! He's making a point, Isaac. Curtis is hiding behind Chris Monroe, Ernie is fighting heavyweights, and both men are ignoring the other LH talent in this federation, from Sidi al Nassir right on up to Mike Powers. Powers knows what he wants and he's gonig after it. What he wants is an ass whipping from Team Cut 'n Shoot. What he needs is an ass whipping from just about anyone. In fact....I'm going to do just that. *Strange puts the headset down and starts to leave the table* Doc, where are you going?!?!? *distant* I'm going to find that piece of trash a match. I'm one of the guys that does the talent scouting, and I'm going to find some talent that will take this young punk to the cleaners and beyond. That's just what the Doctor ordered! *Strange then leaves the ringside area to a very confused Isaac Cross and a very happy Vanessa Stone* Folks, we'll be back with the COA vs. Parker and Wildcard.. after this! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> commercials, commercials, commercials... >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> MATCH # 5: TR PARKER/WILDCARD vs. the CHILDREN OF APOCALYPSE "Unforgiven" by Metallica kicks up and the Children of Apocalypse walk out in black robes. They stop and stand side by side and both have got mics in their hands (Dan) Parker and Wildcard, you are no concern to us, so we're not gonna bother wasting our time with you. (Zach) But you, Weapons of Last Resort, we made a challenge to you last week, and guess what...you made a grave mistake. You decided to show up and you were told to make a match. Now you didn't mention once in making your match our name. So I have come to understand that thou are being your coward selves. Hiding in the darkness that surrounds your hearts. So this is your second warning, don't forget us, and make sure you two have eyes in the back of your heads. (They drop the mics and head to the ring) Some strong words from the Children of the Apocalypse, as they've got a match tonight that could very well mean a title shot in the future if they win. If you recall, the last time CoA and Parker shared a ring, the COA pinned his raggedy ass. That was after Byron jumped him. Yeah, I forgot. That was a lot of fun. Their music stops...and "Livin' on the Edge" by Aerosmith comes on as the ring announcer introduces...The Sin City Express, "The Strutter" TR Parker and WIIIILD-CAAARRRRD!!!! The curtains part and the Mississippi Queen is accompanying *two* men in Wildcard masks... one of whom breaks out into a "trademark strut" midway down the ring. They hit the ring and the COA takes charge immediately, with Dan clotheslining "TR" (the one assumed to be TR under the mask) over the top rope and Zach laying on a series of kicks reminiscent of Ultimo Dragon's flurry, then coming off the ropes with a high leg lariat to send the other Wildcard (we'll call him Wildcard II) over the top. Zach grabs WC I as he comes in, hits an implant DDT, then picks him up and delivers a swinging neckbreaker. Tag to Dan, Dan with a top rope axehandle on I, followed by an over the head press slam into a gutbuster drop. Dan then settles into a Plum Stretch in the center of the ring as II finally gets onto the ring apron. Dan holds the Plum Stretch for about 30 seconds, then tags Zach, who hits a slingshot legdrop on I's head as he came in. Zach then grabs I's head, runs up the ring ropes and rolls around into a 3/4 Bulldog..Acid Drop! Referee Ray Chapman backs Zach off for a second as he checks on I's condition..I tags out to II in the confusion. Zach kicks II as he comes in, II fights back with a shot to the head, and another one...backs Zach into the ropes, II goes for a backdrop, but Zach lands on his feet and springboards off the ropes into a bodypress. 2 count. II gets up and Zach is already climbing the ropes..and misses a clothesline as II ducks. Fortunately Zach landed in his corner, and tagged Dan as II was getting pumped up...II ran into a charging clothesline from Dan as he turned around that 360'ed him. And the CoA *really* impressing me thus far, as they're not giving Parker and Wildcard a moment to breathe. I've noticed that TR seemed *really* off of his game tonight..he looks hurt on the apron. Meanwhile, Dan just picked up Wildcard in an Electric Chair position...MY GOD! He just tossed him down into FACE FIRST POWERBOMB that Wildcard bounced off the mat for!!! Meanwhile, Mississippi Queen motioning to the back..who's she calling out....oh no!! Wait a minute..it's ANOTHER Wildcard!?!?!? What's going on here? I don't know about this...this smells like a setup. CoA is doubleteaming the Wildcard in the ring, and the referee is busy with that...and this new Wildcard just exchanged places on the ring apron with the other Wildcard. This is hardcore illegal!!!! Well, the referee didn't catch it, and now Wildcard II just low blowed Zach Rierson....crawls through the legs..and gets the tag off to Wildcard...III, we call him? III hits the ring with the Casino 'o Fire in full effect, nailing shots to the head of both members of COA, then dropkicking Dan over the top rope. Zach then tries for a charging clothesline, but III backdrops HIM over the top rope. Both COA members stand up...BAM!!!! III hits a plancha that levels both men. While all of this is going on, II jumps off the ring apron and rolls under the ring...and out rolls apparently *ANOTHER* Wildcard that goes up onto the ring apron and sells the headblow that II just took. Meanwhile on the other side, after about 10 seconds of recovery from all concerned for the plancha III went for a chairshot on Dan Rierson, but Dan, showing *incredible* presence of mind, ducked down as Zack jumped OFF OF HIS BACK into a Van Daminator on III. III's momentum is killed as Dan rolls him back into the ring. From there it's pound on III for awhile. At one point, Dan press slams Zach onto III for a near two count. They then tie III into the ropes, pound on him for awhile (more than they might have gotten away with if the Queen didn't get into an extended argument with the referee)..and finally, unmasking III to be TR Parker. Parker now free..he's taken a beating from these two guys in this match...but he's had to wrestle it virtually alone as the other Wildcard, which I *have* to assume is the real one, hasn't entered the match yet. Meanwhile, Dan's got Parker set into a powerbomb position. They could be trying to end it here....Zach gets under to hit the Neckbreaker/Powerbomb combo! That was FULL REDEMPTION, and now Zach covers! Forget about it...this one is...one...two...QUEEN PULLED RIERSON OUT OF THE RING, BREAKING THE COUNT!!!!!! THAT LITTLE.. Zach's staring right at her...this can't be good.... PARKER WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE DROPKICK..and Queen got a piece of that, hopefully she's not very hurt.... Parker rolled Zach back into the ring, sent him to the ropes, and hits a clothesline before going outside, pulling on the ropes, and springboarding in with the "Air Strutter" clothesline. Zach up, manages to tag Dan, TR tries charging in, but Dan ducks out of the way. Dan then picks up TR in a double chokehold and tosses him back, sending him sailing into his corner. Wildcard then tags Parker's shoulder and enters the ring. Parker is *really* complaining to the referee, not noticing that his wife is lying dazed on the arena floor. Parker swears a tag never happened. Meanwhile, Dan notices that the other Wildcard is in and laughs, thinking that it's the schmo from earlier. Dan now walking over to tag Zach...and Wildcard is unmasking..SWEET MOTHER OF....THAT'S JOSHUA COLLINS!!!! The crowd gasps in shock as Collins, the former leader of the AWA cult, the enemy of TR Parker, and the former mentor of Sebastian Sloan, greets a charging Zach with a boot to the groin, then hitting a face first piledriver and covering...one, two, Dan breaks up the count. Collins clotheslines Dan over the top rope, and Dan falls onto the timekeepers table. Collins tags TR Parker, then climbs the ropes as TR climbs the adjacent ropes. Then, simultaneously, Parker hits the "Struttersault" Sommersault splash as Collins goes for a swan dive headbutt through the table. The problem is, Dan rolls out of the way, and Collins cracks his head onto the table. Queen immediately goes to check on Collins, while Parker makes the cover..one...two... Dan breaks up the count, grabs Parker, and pulls up Parker into an UGLY backdrop driver that laid Parker out hard. and Parker isn't MOVING after that hit. Meanwhile, Queen is still checking on the condition of Collins, she isn't noticing what's going on inside the ring. Meanwhile, Zach is climbing the ropes now....goes for the SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!!! And that *whum* might not have been as *whump* pretty as some..*whump* But it certainly got the job done! *DING DING DING* ######################################################### # WINNERS: The Children of Apocalypse, by pinfall 14:01 # ######################################################### And now Queen *finally* noticing that her husband is in trouble, and goes to the ring. Did you see how close Parker was to those ropes? She interfered in everything else, why didn't she here? You don't suppose there's something going on between her and Collins, do you? Look, I've just about had it with you stirring up trouble. This is a lot to take in right now....Collins allied with TR Parker, Collins is now in the EWC, the CoA just beat them...and now Parker is conscious and he's *fuming* I would be too if my wife has cost us the match because she wasn't paying attention to me. Will you be quiet? Queen now helping Collins back to the dressing room as TR is following a few seconds behind.. fans, we're gonna try to sort this out..Hour Two is next.. stay tuned.