{"Couldn't Stand the Weather" by Stevie Ray Vaughn and Double Trouble
plays over the speakers, as a wry-looking Glenn Turner heads to the
ring looking a little disheveled, in a gaucho hat and leather EWC
poncho. He grabs a mic on the way into the ring ...}
[GT]
I wasn't really scheduled to speak here, folks, so I'd much appreciate
any patience you can spare ... I figured it'd be best if I didn't hang
around the locker rooms much right now.
You see, my tag-team partner is what you might call a mite unhappy
right now. And let me tell you, you do not want to see Toshiro
Kenzake a mite unhappy. Bad things seem to happen when he is --
chairs get broken, people get hurt, somebody calls Spectre-Man ...
I reckon you get the idea.
That's why I'm out here right now -- partly to make sure I'm not in
the way of one of those chairs, people, or superheroes. But partly to
say something to Beyond Our Control. Jules, Gerry, when I came out here last
week, I honestly thought I was paying you guys back for helping us against
Retrospection. Now, though ... let's just say the favor's a bit more than I'd
been expecting.
Anyone who watches your matches knows you guys are no strangers to
chaos, and that's gonna be real good for you. Because not too long
from now, this ring is gonna become the tiny little village of Not A
Safe Place To Be Standing, population 3, plus one big, BIG angry
sonuvagun. I can't hold that kind of force back, and I know you're
the kind of guys that won't even try--heck, you seem to LIKE that
level of chaos. So best I can do is ride the wave ... but you know
the funny thing? I'm starting to ENJOY riding that wave. And I'm
starting to get reeeaallly good at it.
So B-O-C, I know we're going to see the best you've got tonight. And
that best may be enough to take the gold away from Toshiro and me.
But I guarantee you, it's not going to be easy, and it's not going
to be painless, and it's only going to be fun if you're all crazy,
which I half-reckon you are.
{He tips his hat as he starts to leave the ring.}
Clock in early, fellas -- you're going to work overtime tonight.
{He leaves the ring as "Couldn't Stand the Weather" picks up again
on the speakers.}
And some pointed words from 1/2 of the World Tag Team
Champions tonight.
And you know what? When it all comes right down to
it, this match is meaningless. In two weeks, we've
got a four way elimination match for the World Tag
Team titles...which involve both of these teams,
plus Siouxnami and Frozen Hell. Whoever wins and
whoever loses, they get to do it all again in two
weeks....against two other teams that I feel are among
the superior forces in tag team competition today.
What tonight's match is about is *pride*...something
I doubt you could comprehend, Vanessa. In fact,
our next match features one half of the two teams you
just mentioned in singles competition, as Sitting Bull
of Siouxnami takes on Torvald Reikkersen of Frozen
Hell. But before we go to that, we've got these
comments from one "Nuclear" Nick Duncan
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[Cut to the locker room where "Nuclear" Nick Duncan is standing by. He's drinking
a cup of coffee.]
[Nick]
Hey, congratulations Damien Omega on last week. You see, maybe I did take
you too lightly. I figured you'd be saving yourself for title match since
you didn't have the guts to put up your belt last time.
I guess I was wrong. I threw a few too many of these back last week,
softened up my elbow and yeah, you got the tap out. But guess what....
[Nick holds up his thumb to show that he's still got the toy IeWS belt]
I still have the IeWS title belt... and the free refills. And until you've got
the guts to put your belt, I'm not going to put up my belt. Of course, that
won't stop me from beating the hell out of you any chance I get. So EWC
decides to throw their two wonder boys, Omega and Showtime, in with the
IeWS Champ (holds up his thumb again) and John Owens. I see this as a
win-win situation for me. After all, 3 singles matches in my career
and they're all against "big name" champions. Omega, I'm gunning for
you but Showtime, don't think that gives you a "get out of getting
suplexed all over the building" free card. And Owens, as long as you
get in the way, I don't see there being any problems. I'll see the
three of you in the ring.
[End of tape.]
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Y'know, I think Duncan has the best championship
of them all. I mean, what would you rather do,
haul around 20 lbs of gold or be kicking back
cafe latte's at your neighborhood Buck's?
I sincerely doubt he's getting any sort of perks
with that belt. My five-year-old son has that
belt around his Steve the Insane doll.
Isaac, what kind of parent are you? Letting your
five year old drink coffee?
*sigh* lets head to the ring...
MATCH #6: TORVALD REIKKERSEN vs. SITTING BULL
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(A particularly wily Chris Monroe bursts through the entrance curtain
flailing up a storm, followed behind by the ever-intense Siouxnami.
Monroe is having the time of his life, floating around as if he has
no cares in the world. Siouxnami, on the other hand, looks fierce -
they are ripped and ruthless. Chris flaunts his way down the the ring
with Siouxnami following a good ten paces behind. After running a lap
or two around the ring, Monroe calls for the mic in a grandiose fashion.
His call is answered, as Monroe catches the mic as it's tossed into the ring
[Monroe]
Good evening my fine feathered friends! I am as jolly as a fat man
washing himself with a rag on a stick! Wanna know why? But of course
you do.....how could you pass up the chance to hear of my joyous
escapades? So, I will tell you. I am livin' large, as tonight is
yet another step towards regaining supremecy in the world of
wrestling. My boys and I ARE tonight's show - why? Because we
are what makes every show. We are headlining this badboy and
once again we are going to leave our mark. Slowly but surely, heads are
turning.....and little by little nobody will be able to resist the
temptation to glance over their shoulders and see what the original
crazies of the wrestling world are up to - and with good reason too.
Cut 'N Shoot.....boy oh boy, you fellas have really gone over the
edge this time. I mean, it probably would have really killed you
to let our 6-man match up end fairly, right? After all, how dare
we suggest that you actually try to outwrestle us, rather than merely
outnumber us. Yet the funny thing is, eight of you couldn't handle
the three of us.....in fact, you couldn't even come close. That's
because there's one big difference between all of your men and
all of ours.....we are actually talented. Siouxnami and I can
actually win matches using our own skills. When was the last time
Jay Gillete, Beyond Our Control, or any of those other hooligans
actually won a match on their own?
Uhhhhh...last week? And how about when Curtis
jumped through a bonfire to plant your head into
the ground?!?!?!
Hey Isaac, I got one word for you...impartiality.
Bite me, you frigid......
As for you Ernie Grendel and Bill Curtis....it's quite evident that
neither of you have recovered from your respective injuries
yet.....we had the courtesy to give you those injuries and the least
you could do is be gracious enough to fully recover before running
your mouths off like crazy people. Do you honestly want to anger
us? I think not. And if you do, you must be even crazier than you seem.
I know why you are all here tonight.....to see Sitting Bull wrestle.
And yes, in a few moments one half of Siouxnami is scheduled for a
match. However, I'd hardly even consider it a fair fight, as his
lowly opponent barely has any hope of getting an offensive move off.
Whether you like it or not, Siouxnami is un-*bleepin'*-stoppable!
You don't believe me? Ask Ernie.....ask Gay Tommy Queer or whatever
that cool guy's name was.....ask Brad Watkins.....and after tonight,
ask Torvald....that is if he can still speak afterwards. Reikkerson,
you made a bad bad move getting in our business....you saw what
happened to your partner, wait and see what happens to you! Swedish
Chef or whatever the hell you're supposed to be, tonight is your.....
[Siouxnami]
LAST STAND!
[Monroe]
And as for anybody else who wants some of us.....I gotta warn ya we're
so bad that as of right now WE'RE A CRIME! It's open invitation time
over in our neck of the woods.....and yes indeed, you folks out there
know just how that invitation reads.....
WHO YOU TRYIN' TO GET CRAZY WITH ESE?
(Monroe holds out his mic to the outside and surpringly enough it is
major catchphrase city time, as the crowd seems more aware of Monroe's
now trademark flash-ending quote...some even opt to join in)
DON'T YOU KNOW WE'RE LOCO?!?!?
(With that "Insane in the Brain" fades in over the PA, as Monroe breaks
down into his usual maniacal cackling)
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That goes on for about a minute..then cuts into "The Immigrant Song"
by Led Zeppelin and what must have been the first crowd pop *ever*
for Frozen Hell. Reikkersen walked the aisle, this time without Frieda
and the Swedish Blond of the Week, but *with* "Bad" Brad Watkins.
They get to ringside, and immediately Reikkersen complains to referee
Mason Crow about the fact that they are outnumbered, and that Monore
and Crazy Horse have no right being near ringside. Crow would
hear none of it, tho, and Monroe had a sick smile on his face as
he slid outside the ring. Finally, Brad gave up, went to the outside..and
ducked under the ring when Monroe wasn't looking.
Crazy Horse was slow to get out of the ring while Sitting Bull was eyeing
up Reikkersen. Torvald made one final plea to at least send
Monroe back, which Crow wouldn't hear of...
...and that was enough for Watkins to emerge on the other side
with a chair and PLASTER Chris Monroe from behind with it. Torvald
then clotheslined Crazy Horse out of the ring as Watkins threw the
chair to Torvald. Torvald smacked Sitting Bull with it, but Bull
would not go down...meanwhile, Horse and Watkins were brawling on
the outside of the ring. This broke down quickly as all four men
ended up outside the ring and brawling right through the fan area
as paramedics checked on a bleeding Chris Monroe.
#######################
# WINNER: No Contest #
#######################
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Hey look, ma...NO COMMERCIALS!!!!!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Folks, we are back, and we've got a real situation
going on out back of the arena...as you just saw,
the match between Torvald Reikkersen and Sitting Bull
never happened, as a four way brawl erupted in the
arena. This brawl has now spilled to the outside of
the Georgia Dome...and DEAR GOD, Watkins and
Horse are out on the street, and they just nearly
got hit by a humvee!!!
Wow, thank goodness there are safe drivers in Atlanta!
Folks, we've got a barnburner of a tag match coming
up here, but first we've got these comments from,
respectively, Jon Owens and the North American
champion, Damien Omega!
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[Jon Owens is stretching in preparation for his
match.]
[Owens]
Omega, Duncan, to me the two of you are just like that IeWS title ...
totally worthless. Stay outta my way.
Showtime - you're lucky tonight. You have a couple of folks to hide behind.
An easy excuse for when you lose. That's right, I said when you lose, not if
you lose. See, you have no choice tonight ... sooner or later you will end up
in the ring at the same time as me. I'm gonna enjoy this Showtime ... the only
question is how I'm gonna finish you off. Maybe I'll drop you on your head a
few times. Maybe I'll take you over into a pin move from my college days. Maybe
I'll make you tap out. I can do any of 'em Showtime... you aren't gonna
know what hit you.
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{Camera enters the locker room, as Damien Omega is readying himself for
the upcoming tag match by calmly tying up his boots}
[Off=camera voice]
Damien, how do you feel tagging with someone of such status as Roker
Showtime?
[Omega]
Never had the pleasure working with Mr. Showtime. I'm a fan of his
work, but he laces his boots up like anyone else. At least I'm familiar e
nough with him to know I can trust he won't attack me, and he'll back me
up in the tag match. That'll be the main difference between us and Duncan
and Owens .. we'll work as a team, even though we have specific targets
we'll be after. Showtime has a problem with Owens, which leaves me and
Duncan, and that's fine with me. Don't have much problems with Duncan ...
I made him tap out, and that seems to have upset him. You do what you can
to win a match within the rules. I understand I'll not win every match,
and the sooner Nick Duncan understands it, he'll be a better man. Until
then, I'll continue to try and show him how he can be a good loser by
forcefeeding losses down his throat.
As for Showtime .. hey, I'll be watching his back, and I'll be right
there if he need help in the tag match. Hopefully, we'll work as a
unit. We'll see.
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MATCH #7: ROKER SHOWTIME/DAMIEN OMEGA vs.
JON OWENS and "Nuclear" NICK DUNCAN
They do the individual entrances for everyone...first Duncan comes
out to "Fuel" by Metallica, flashing his pinky title to everyone
who will look on the way down. The music shifts to "El Phantasmo..."
by White Zombie, and Owens comes down, VERY intense...intense enough
to enter the ring and "lay down the law" to Nick Duncan.
And this match off to a great start as the two
partners are already having some sort of a
disagreement. I think Owens is telling Duncan that
he doesn't want his help in any way against Showtime.
Hey, that's Jon's way. He doesn't need or require
help from anyone or anything.
Still, that could potentially work in the favor
of Showtime and Omega if things get crazy.
[PA System] (echoed)
real...
real...
REAL...
...what it means to be real.
From there "Slave to the Grind" by Skid Row plays and Omega comes
out to a strong pop. He's got the belt and is motioning at Duncan
to come get it if he wants it so badly. Then "It's Showtime" plays
and the crowd goes wild. Roker walks out, bolts PAST Omega, and
spears the socks out of Jon Owens, pummeling him on the ground.
Before Duncan can pull Owens off, Omega is already on Duncan with
rights and lefts. Before we know it, Duncan is sent over the top
via a dropkick, and Roker and Damien play Owens Pong for a few seconds
with dueling rights before Roker clotheslines Owens over the top
to a HUGE pop.
Things slow down a bit, and it's going to be Nick Duncan against
Roker to start. The first five mintues was very technically based,
with Nick and Roker trading amateur style moves, then Roker tags out
to Omega, and Omega and Duncan trading amateur style moves. After
a few minutes of being counterwrestled, Duncan comes out frustrated.
Owens demands to get in the ring to Duncan. Duncan glares at him, but
makes the tag. Owens calls for Showtime and, with a flourish, Omega
tags Roker in.
Roker and Omega tear at each other with a fury, using takedowns at first,
then just starting to brawl it out. After a minute or two
of that, Owens tags suddenly to Duncan, and Duncan yells that Owen
wasn't done yet...with that, Roker grabbed Duncan by the hair and *pulled*
him physically into the ring, then came off the ropes
with a jumping legdrop. Roker picks up Duncans, looks at the fans,
and hits a HARD European Uppercut that makes Duncan stagger to the
enemy corner, where Omega hits a forearm of his own, sending Duncan
back to Roker, who again EuroCuts him through the ropes!
And so far Roker and Omega completely having
their way with the makeshift team of Owens and
Duncan.
This is really bad, Nick and Jon really need to
get together on this, remember that they aren't
each others enemies, or they could very easily lose
this match.
Fans, while Duncan regroups outside the ring, we
have to take this commercial time..if something should
happen while we are away, we are taping during
the break, and will show it to you in it's entirety.
Fans, don't go away!!!