[Tape plays. The camera pans over some desert. As the camera pans, it
turns over an old western style graveyard. A few tumble weeds blow by as
the camera pans over to an open grave with a figure dressed in a black
hat and veil for a funeral. A few crows can be seen and heard cawing on a
tree with no leafs on it. The figure turns to reveal that it's Calamity
Jane Manson who throws a black rose into the open grave.]
[CJM]
Tonight, the Metropolis of the west...Cut 'n Shoot, Texas...has it's first
champion crowned in the quaint little suburb of Houston, Texas. You know,
when EWC said that they wanted a champion who represented what Cut 'n Shoot
was about, I had to think hard and long about the most appropriate way to crown
a champion. When I thought about wrestling, the truest test is a fight to a
finish, the good old fashioned Texas Death match. And while that's fine and
dandy, in Cut 'n Shoot, we have a little thing known as courtesy... so if you
kill a man, the least you can do is give them a proper burial. So putting
this together with the old cowboy mentality... if you're going to go... you're
going to die with your boots on.
And in two days, in front of thousands of fans, Grant Harrison and Jay Gillette,
one of you gets that honor and the other one walks away with the title. The
rules are simple, you dump a man in the grave, he doesn't get up, he's out.
All the winner has to do is put the other one down for the count....
[A crow flies down and lands on one of the crosses. Jane scares it away.]
[CJM]
He's got a 10 count to get out! Then he's all yours!
[Fade out.]
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MATCH #3: CUT 'N SHOOT HERITAGE TOURNAMENT FINAL
"Crazy" Jay Gillette vs. Grant Harrison
("Crazy" Jay Gillette comes down to George Thurogood and the Destroyers'
"Bad to the Bone" and climbs into the ring. Jay is wearing jeans, cowboy
boots and a t-shirt whose front reads "I visited Cut-n-Shoot, Texas and all I got
was....". Once in the ring, Jay then turns to reveal that the back says "...16
stitches, multiple abrasions and contusions, a fractured scapula, and 3
cracked ribs." Jay then motions for a microphone to be passed in)
(Jay points at the back of the shirt and then, when the laughter begins to
die down says.....)
[CJG]
I guess they must of LIKED me.
(when the laughter again dies down, Jay continues.....)
[CJG]
A couple of weeks ago, when I was out here facing "Bad" Brad Watkins to
see who got to wrestle in this tourney final, Issac Cross mentioned how I
seemed to be a "new" Jay Gillette. Well, I'm afraid I have to disagree with
you Issac. I'm still the same old fun-loving guy as always. It's just that
some people out there have taught me a few lessons in life. Siouxnami tried to
teach me how to give up...what they taught me was how to get angry. Chris
Sim tried to teach me how to fail....what he taught me was how to
persevere. "Bad" Brad Watkins tried to teach me how to lose...what he taught
me was how to hunger for success. So Grant Harrison, why don't you get your sorry
tail down here and see if you can't teach this ole dawg some new tricks, eh
boy?
*CROWD POP*
Harrison comes out, no music, charging to the ring..where he's met by a
plancha by Gillette to get things going. Gillette then follows up with
several kicks to the fallen Harrison, followed by a running elbowdrop which is dodged by
Harrison. Harrison waits for Gillette to get back up before trading fist shots and
clubbing blows with Gillette as the two fight their way over to the grave area...Jay goes
low, then leapfrogs over Harrison and kicks him in the ass to send him face first
into the grave. Referee Terry Magnum counts one...two....three...four...five..
Harrison on his feet and climbing out of the grave...as Jay goes for a cross
body as he's coming out, Harrison falls back in, and Jay lands face down
straddling the grave. Harrison reaces up around Jay's back and yanks him straight down,
arching his back backwards in a painful way. Harrison climbs out. one....two...three....
four...five...six...Gillette quickly climbs out and runs
into a Harrison boot that sends him back first into the steel ramp.
Harrison goes on the offensive, whipping Gillette back first into the steel
guardrail, then the ramp..but when he tried for the guardrail again, Jay
reversed and Harrison tumbled into the crowd. Jay then sets up a chair, steps
back, and runs...leaps off the chair, Harrison catches him in a midair spear
coming off of the steel guardrail. This JAMS Jay's back into the concrete, and
Jay is dazed for a moment as Harrison continues with stomps and punches.
Harrison then gets on the chair and tries for a leaping double stomp, but
Jay rolls out of the way of the stomp, then grabs Harrison by the trunks
and yanks him headfirst into the steel ramp, drawing juice from Harrison. Jay
then moves in and bites Harrisons forehead once....twice...THREE times,
and Harrison's face is a mask of blood.
Jay fires a few more shots into Harrison, backing him up towards the grave
again...he fires ten successive shots, making harrison stumble backwards and
AAAAAALmost fall in...but when Jay charges, Harrison jumps to the side and
Jay dives headfirst into the grave. Harrison then climbs onto the ramp
and stands on the stage over the grave..then jumps 15 feet into the grave!!
*BIG* crowd pop for the spot. After about 30 seconds (the ref can't count when
both men are in there), Harrison crawls out and stumbles backwards as the ref counts
.....one....two.....three.....four....five.....six.....seven....eight..
a hand raises out of the grave to a crowd pop. A bleeding Jay Gillete rises out
at nine. Harrison charges in but Gillete goes for a nut shot, then trips his legs
and climbs on top of Harrison for the Greco Roman Piston Fists.
Harrison knees Jay low, then picks him up into an overelevated powerbomb, but
Jay sits on top of him and fires fists until Harrison's knees buckle and he falls
back down. Jay gets up, sets up the chair again...and goes for the running
cross body again, but this time Harrison catches him and NAILS a Bombtrac Driver
onto the dirtpile near the grave. Harrison rulls Jay into the grave, and turns
around with his hands raised, sick grin on his face. The count gets to seven,
and Jay crawls out...then runs, jumps off the chair, and bulldogs Harrison down
throat first across the steel guardrail!!
Mario: And Jay FINALLY hits a move off the chair tonight, as Harrison
goes down like a shot!!!
Cross: And that move will collapse your trachea in a heartbeat, I
guarantee it. Harrison down, and Jay looks like he's had
enough of this. He's got Harrison in bodyslam position..and
he carries Harrison over to the gravesite..Harrison's no
small man, and Gillette's a light heavyweight...and he
bodyslams Harrison into the grave.
Mario: And Magnum starts the count....one....two...AND NOW GILLETTE
IS ON TOP OF THE STAGE!!!!!!
Cross: Referee count is to six...and Harrison's standing up...GILLETTE
WITH A FLYING BULLDOG SUPREME OFF THE STAGE!!!! AND BOTH MEN
ARE IN THE GRAVE!!!!!!!
Mario: Just another day at the office for Cut 'n Shoot Wrestling!!
Cross: Gillette now has a bleeding Harrison by the hair..he's pulling
him up...SERIES OF HEADBUTTS RIGHT TO THE WOUNDED HEAD!!!
FIVE...SIX...SEVEN!!!! And Harrison's down and he's not getting
up!!!!
Mario: Gillette now *FINALLY* climbing out of the ring...and he's
grabbing the gravestone! HE'S PICKING THE GRAVESTONE UP!!
Cross: That's gotta be 30, 40, maybe 50 pounds..and he TOSSES IT RIGHT
ONTO THE FALLEN HARRISON!!! That's gotta be it, folks.
Mario: Referee's counting one...two...three...four..five *crowd joins in*
six....seven.....eight....nine....ten!!!! And this one's over,
Jay Gillette is your champion, Cut 'n Shoot!
###############################################
# WINNER: "Crazy" Jay Gillette, via CO 12:21 #
# *NEW* CUT 'N SHOOT HERITAGE CHAMPION #
###############################################
Cross: And Jay accepting the accolades, we've been told a suitable belt
is being made right now, it wasn't finished in time for tonight.
But Jay is bleeding and hurt, but happy right now. Mario,
thank you very much for your commentary tonight.
Mario: My pleasure, Isaac...I'll be seeing you.
Cross: Fans, after this, we've got the WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE FOUR
WAY, don't you dare go away!!!
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[fade to what looks like a standard locker room somewhere in the depths of
the arena. A cardboard sign taped to the door reads simply "Beyond Our
Control / Cut N Shoot". A quiet moment passes.]
[Off-camera voice]
Um, are there in there?
[BLAM! The door comes flying off the hinges, barely missing the camera (and
crew). Apparently it was propelled by the console TV which followed it and
shattered messily off-camera shot. The room is apparently filled with smoke as
"Insane" Jules Baen, Gerry "Loose" Cannon and Doctor Kevin Schrapnel
emerge. Extremely loud music can be heard eminating from the room.]
[Baen]
(in a low monotone) I told you we shouldn't have a BBQ in the locker room,
Gerald...
[Gerry]
(conversationally) Well it was working fine until we loaded the mesquite
on the grill... oh hey! (nudges Baen and Doc)... Promo time!
[Baen looks at the camera, tilts his head to one side, then lurches past
the camera. A brief off-camera scuffle ensues]
[Camera Guy]
Um, Mr. Baen.. uff! I can't let you ... ack!
[Baen]
(low monotone) Just get out there and talk. I shall operate the camera.
[the camera guy, a skinny-looking blond wearing glasses, is unceremoniously
shoved into camera range, where Cannon immediately gets him in a 'friendly
headlock' and beams at him.]
[Cannon]
HI! So what's YOUR name?
[Camera guy]
Um... Bill...
[Cannon]
Well, Um Bill... We are about to embark on a little journey of self-
discovery. See, my esteeemed colleagues and I are going to be in a 4-way
elimination match against a team we respect, a team we dislike, and a team
we really really REALLY REEEEEEEEEEEAAAALLLLY CAN'T STAND! A TEAM WE WOULD
GLADLY GO OUT OF OUR WAY TO AVOID SPITTING ON IF THEY WERE ON FIRE! A TEAM
WE WOULD CHEERFULLY DEVELOP A TIME MACHINE FOR IF IT MEANT WE COULD GO
BACK IN TIME AND SLAY THEIR GRANDPARENTS AS INFANTS! [pause] So what do
you think we ought to do in this little escapade?
[Bill the Camera guy]
Uh... since you're BOC... I'm assuming you're going to beat the hell out
of everything in the ring.
[Baen]
(off-camera and in a low monotone) Got it in one.
[the camera 'nods' slowly]
[Cannon]
You know, I *LIKE* you, Um Bill! How'd you like to be our honorary 'random
guy at ringside' tonight?
[Bill the Camera guy]
(still in a 'friendly headlock', which makes it challenging to look up at
Cannon) Uh... I think my boss wants me to actually shoot the match...
[Cannon]
EXCELLENT! That means we have our own Camera Guy! [points dramatically off-
camera] COME! GLORY AWAITS!
[Cannon drags Bill off left, Doc Schrapnel following behind, just looking
bemused and shaking his head]
[Doc]
(to camera) Are you taking that with you, Jules?
[Baen]
(low monotone, walking with Doc so the camera gets that seasick 'lunatic
slasher' kind of motion) I think so. I have always thought of working in the
media as a fine second career... now what does this button
[static]