{Welcome to Casa Parker as The Strutter is fiddling around with an
entertainment center that reminds you of Cape Canaveral while the
Mississippi Queen reads a copy of EWC Magazine over to the side.}
[TR Parker]: Honey, have you seen my tape of Lord of the Rings #10?
[MQ] (glancing up suspiciously): No, why?
[TR Parker]: Because I taped it and still haven't figured out how I
ended up reffing....and now I can't find it.
{Parker turns around and notices the red light.}
[TR Parker]: We're on, right?
Well, well, well...Sebastian Sloan. I don't know how or why I
ended up being in the ring to watch my pal Joshua Collins beat you within
an inch of your life, but I had a great seat for it. I guess nobody
knows why Armand does what he does, but that's all water under the bridge
now.
One thing I have noticed though, Sebastian. It's funny, but
everytime you have a humiliating defeat..."The Strutter" TR Parker is there.
Coincidence? yeah, right. Face it Sloan, you can't beat me. Oh,
you can run that devil jive all you want, sic the Ghoulies on me, and
kick in some special effects left over from a KISS concert; but the fact
still remains...you're a lesser man than me.
Mark Davidson, we've gone round and round back in the old EWC
and now we meet again. You couldn't beat me then when I was a green rookie,
you sure as hell can't beat me now. I'm The Strutter! after all. I'm glad you
finally found yourself and have compiled an impressive career; but NOBODY makes
a career on TR Parker's name. You got that?
So, it all comes down to this. Last Man Standing. You've got
Sebastian Sloan who has a habit of falling flat on his back every
time TR Parker gets near a ring, you've got Mark Davidson who has never
seen his hand raised across from TR Parker...and you've got The Strutter.
Who is your money on?
With history, the EWC Television Champion Joshua Collins, and
the Mississippi Queen on my side there is no doubt as to the outcome.
Who said that? The Strutter said that!
{Mississippi Queen glances up from her reading with a mischevious smile
as the camera fades.}
@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@@%@%@%
Some *strong* words from the Strutter there, as we've
got that BIIIIG 3-way Last Man Standing match
coming up....
(Suddenly, "Beautiful Stranger" by Madonna comes on the PA system)
Oh geez, what now....oh no, they're not sending
me....
[The crowd boos lustily as "Prime Time" Jeremy Byron, accompanied as
always by his valet Shania, walks down the ring. EWC fans remember his
turning on TR Parker and boo...but some others have caught Great Lakes
Wrestling on WGN cable and are booing even louder]
Imus!!!!! How's it going? Long time no see.
Didn't you lose a Loser Leaves Town match to T. R.
Parker?
Yeah, but that only applies to in-ring
activity...wrestling, managing, that kind of stuff.
However, I *can* announce, and your producers have
been seeing the ratings *I* have been bringing into GLW
and had to get a piece of the pie!
It's a piece of something, alright. Why isn't Shania
getting a headset?
Well, she's....uhhh....shy. You know how women can
be. *turns to a ringside fan* HEY, quit trying to look
up Shania's skirt!!! There's nothing there
that you need to see.
*sotto voce* especially if he's looking for panties
What was that?
Oh, nothing.
[The lights cut off and "Break Things" by Limp Biskit cuts on as
flashpots explode up the runway before a flashing strobe light begin to
flickers. As the crowd immediately begins to provide serious heat, "The
Revolution" Mike Powers steps onto the runway wearing a black leather
trenchcoat, black sunglasses and a serious smirk. He heads to the ring,
grabs a house mic, and pauses to stand on the top rope raising his arms
up above his arms in the shape of a "V". Removing the glasses and jacket,
he steps to center ring, raises the mic, and basks in the glow of a loud
"shut the [bleep] up chant."]
I really do not like this guy.
Now see, Isaiah, that's why you're stuck with this
gig while people like him and I take the spotlight. He's
got vision, and he's not afraid to go out and chase down
that vision. Plus he's got the presence of a star.
I should know.
What presence would that be, lying on his back
counting the lights?
[Powers]
How rude...I haven't even opened my mouth yet. But now that I have let
me be the first to tell all YOU in-breeding pedophiles to SHUT THE HELL
UP!!!
(it's only getting louder)
[Powers]
Well, after weeks and weeks of anticipation the time is FINALLY here.
All my visits FINALLY paid off. Jansen, you fell right into my trap! I
wanted this match, all this hype, all the exposure from day one! I didn't
care who I fought, THE Revolution gets a chance to shine on EWC television
in front of all the men whose wives call me master. That's what matters.
And now that I've gotten under your skin next time I'm dipping into those
little lacy panties.
(garbage flies towards the ring)
[Powers]
I am so sure of my abilities, so convinced that I can back up everything
that I've said since day one, that I didn't even attempt to use my
superior intellect to find out who my opponent is. But try as I might,
after I got through cleaning the concession girl's plumbing--and by that
I mean having sex with her--she happened to blurt out some of those wonderful
internet rumors. So let me take a moment to talk about them...
Sorry to disappoint you, Mike, but they won't let me
wrestle here.
Will you be quiet?
(*SS-HOLE, *SS-HOLE!!!)
[Powers]
Yes, unfortunately this town does smell like a giant *ss-hole, and that
saddens me too, but what can you do. AnyHOWS--name #1 Generation X.
Yeah, I'm really worried about a 45 year old punk rock wannabe who has a
repetoire of moves--6--equal only to your IQs!!! Name #2, Mr. Wrestling
IV or should I say BORE! The only way that guy could beat me is if he
puts me to sleep with his s-l-o-w movement and ZERO HEAT. Name #3, Steve
Fontaine--now that might actually be a good match. But let's be real
there isn't a chance in hell someone THAT smart would sign a match against me.
Look--I've said it before and I'll say it again. JANSEN--it doens't
matter who you kidnapped and drugged to force them into the ring with me
because WHOEVER it is and WHATEVER he tries, he doesn't stand a chance.
So, sit yourselves down, get that change of underwear ready, and prepare
for the thrill of your lives--it's time for a revolution!!!
[he spikes down the mic and starts running back and forth along the
ropes and the heat continues......until....]
[Voice over PA]
Yo, Revuhlution-man!
(Powers stops in his tracks and looks toward the back)
[Voice]
We'll see how cocky y'is aftuh I rip yo' arm off an' shove it down yo'
throat!
[PA System]
"Skee-bop-bop-bo-ba-doo-bie-di-bi-yi-doo...I'M THE SCAT-MAN!!!!"
[A nice solid crowd pop follows as "Scatman" by Scatman John plays over
the speakers, and out walks...
SIMON SANDERS!!!! LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, "SILKY SMOOTH"
SIMON SANDERS IS IN DA HOOOOUSE!!!
Oh, shut up, you're as white as your momma's
underwear before she takes her Ex-Lax. Don't try to talk
street, it doesn't work.
Sanders, a former USeW LH champion, is tonight's
opponent for Mike Powers...and Powers is mock applauding
the back for the selection.
I'll give you this, Sanders classifies as a
superstar...he's held gold in a major
organization. But that's exactly what
Powers wanted...to be able to beat, to
fold, spindle, and mutilate a national star
in his first PPV match, and I think
EWC handed it to him on a silver platter.
I think the only thing EWC handed Powers was his head
on a platter. Sanders is going to give this youngster
everything he wants and more.
[Sanders climbs into the ring, looks over Powers, and then speaks again]
[Sanders]
Powuh-man.... maybe you can straighten me out. I ain't gettin' sumpin'
here..... hot air makes a balloon go up, right?
(Powers nods and lip readers notice he says, "Yeah, so?")
[Sanders]
So whut da hell be holdin' ya down?
*SHORT REPORT MODE ON*
Powers smirks at Sanders, and does a couple of stretches before referee
Ray Chapman calls for the bell. As they begin to circle, Powers reaches
out and slaps the hand of Sanders. They tie up, collar and elbow, Powers
pushes Sanders back into a turnbuckle, sends him to the other buckle,
he bounces out and Powers backdrops Sanders... Sanders lands on his feet,
turns around, and bitchslaps Powers to a *big* crowd pop.
This causes Powers to charge into an armdrag takedown by Sanders, and
then another one before Sanders settles into an armbar, wrapping his legs
around Powers' torso. Sanders then starts yelling in Powers' ear "Da Man
keepin' you DOWN, huh?" before firing a palm strike across the bridge of
Powers' nose, then getting up, retwisting the arm, and attempting a
short-arm clothesline...Powers ducks, goes behind for a back suplex,
Sanders with a back elbow to stun Powers. Sanders off the ropes, slides
under Powers legs, gets back up, and another bitchslap across Powers'
face.
OOOOOH, they felt that one back in Harlem. What
exactly is Sanders trying to do?
I think he's trying to get Powers' mad. Remember,.
Powers is a talented rookie, but he's a *rookie*. Sanders
is trying to get Powers frustrated enough to make mistakes.
Powers this time slaps him back, and a center ring brawl ensues, with
Powers walking away from it as he used a spinkick to stagger Sanders
into the ropes, followed by a high scissors kick that Sanders rolls
with to flip outside...then grabbing Powers by the hair and yanking
down, slingshotting him off the top rope. Sanders right back in
there as Powers gets up, and this time Sanders knees him in the
gut before locking on a crossface hold, then falling into a
legscissors. Sanders then lays into the taunts again, yelling
"C'mon, punk, break the hold...simple, RIIIGHT?" He stays here
for about 45 seconds, all the while wearing Powers down by rocking
back and forth, before releasing the hold. Powers getting to his
feet and clutching his neck as Sanders moves in with a running kneelift.
And Sanders really concentrating on the head and neck
of Powers, and so far this match, Powers really not
showing much of an offense.
I'll say this...Powers, I think, came into this match
expecting an aerial duel, especially since he's been
calling out Grendel, Curtis, and a bunch of other
aerialists. Simple Simon is NOT an aerialist, ESPECIALLY
after that knee injury a year or so ago. And I think
Powers is having a hard time right
now countering that....losing his focus
after the bitchslaps by Sanders didn't really help either.
Sanders with another kneelift, followed by a snap suplex, and a cover
for a 2 count. Sanders tried to grab for both legs, but only got one
before Powers kicked him away. Powers gets to his feet, and Sanders
hits a legtrip takedown before then grabbing the other leg and rolling
over into a Liontamer boston crab, putting the pressure right on
the neck (as opposed to the back, like a normal boston crab does) They
were near the ropes, however, and Powers manages to get to them.
Powers so far getting virtually no offense as Sanders
again picking him off of the mat.
Sanders with another suplex attempt...Powers falls
behind and shoves Sanders forward...and BEFORE SANDERS
TURNS AROUND, POWERS WITH A DEAD ON ENZIGURI that sends
Sanders out of the ring.
The timing on that move was incredible, and that's
where Powers' speed definitely comes in....BASEBALL SLIDE
BY POWERS RIGHT IN THE FACE OF SANDERS, and Sanders
crashes back first into the steel guardrail!!!
That's some high quality athleticism right there, as
Powers rolling to the outside
to follow up on the attack! Kicks to the
face, followed by a OOOOOOH HARD
high kick right across the jaw, and Sanders
is across our table here...HEY SANDERS, QUIT LOOKING UP
SHANIA'S SKIRT!!!!
I think he could care less about your woman, Jeremy,
as Powers is going to the other side of the table
now...Sanders finally tumbling out to one side, and is
upright...POWERS RUNNING ACROSS OUR TABLE INTO A FLYING
TACKLE ON SANDERS!!!! And Sanders goes HARD
into the ringsteps!!!!
(Crowd goes *ooooh*)
Powers grabbing the stunned Sanders and throws him back in before
following him inside. Powers starts by placekicking Sanders head back,
followed by a dropkick that bent the kneeling Sanders backwards,
hyperextending his thighs. A second later, Powers jumps over
Sanders, and mulekicks him from behind, sending him facedown into the
mat. Powers drags him to the center of the ring and fires lightning
fast kicks around the body of Sanders. Powers then jumps off of the
middle of the ropes into a forward rolling springboard senton..then
comes off of the opposite ropes with an Asai moonsault on the back
of Sanders. Rolls him over, two count. Powers picks up Sanders,
locks him into an inverted DDT position, then picks him up into an
inverted brainbuster, gets up, and jumps straight up into a
vertical corkscrew elbowsmash. 2 count, Powers argues he
should have gotten the three.
Powers picks up Sanders, Sanders fires a couple of stiff rights and
lefts into the sternum of Powers, then Sanders is up and whips him
to the ropes, but Powers reverses the whip and nails an X-factor
for another two count. Powers up, handspring standing moonsault,
ANOTHER two count.
And Powers not able, it seems, to put Simon Sanders
down for the count here.
He will, though. I can tell from his execution that
Powers is a very smart man. Hit a move, cover, hit a move,
cover. Don't let up, he's not letting up.
If you know so much about this, why do you have more
losses than wins.
Cause now I'm a dirty cheating bastard, Isacchar, and
that's the way to win....OOOH, Powers had Sanders in an
airplane spin, and then spun out into
a stun gun on the top rope.
EXCELLENT move by Powers, and now he's got a
cover...one....two.. thr...TWO, two only, Chapman says,
and now Powers is arguing with the referee, and that's
*not* smart.
Y'know, the referee *was* slow. Maybe he needs to
learn some pointers from me on the fine art of officiating.
Powers now rolls Sanders on his back, and climbs the ropes, and nails a
450 degree splash for a 2 99/100ths count. Powers now visibly frustrated,
and kicks Sanders some more to vent it. Powers now picking up Sanders into
a back suplex...but Sanders falls back on his feet and drops into a "Habit
Breaker" reverse DDT!!!!
*crowd pop*
And desperation move there by Sanders, as now both
men are on their backs in the ring. C'mon, Mike, all
you have to do is cover.
Don't let that old fart in the ring steal your thunder.
Sanders is in his mid-20s!!! What do you mean old
fart?
Hey, if you can't appreciate youth, that's your
problem!!!
Considering you have a girlfriend that can wear Osh
Kosh B'Gosh, I would say you have the problem. Now can
we call the match, please?
Byron was the first to get up, and picked up Sanders, sending him to the
ropes. Sanders ducks the first clothesline, comes up the other side, hits
a knee to the abdomen, then follows it up with a leg driver DDT!!! Cover
by Sanders, 2 count. Sanders gets up, and starts laying STIFF chops across
the chest of Powers, leaving definitive marks on Powers chest. He then
whips Powers to the turnbuckle, Powers flips over the top rope,
lands on the apron, runs to the next door turnbuckle, and comes flying
off of it with a missile dropkick that sends Sanders careening into the
far turnbuckle. Powers back into the ring, and goes for a handspring
Stinger splash that Sanders dodges...Powers staggers
back, and Sanders hits a dropkick right in the arm of Powers.
And Sanders starting to set-up for his finisher now,
as he grabs Powers' arm and lays twists and chops into
it...POWERS WITH A LIGHTNING FAST DDT to break the
momentum, but some damage has been done as
Powers is now favoring that arm. Powers now
sending Sanders to the ropes...Powers off the top
rope....TRIPLE JUMP COPTOR KICK!!!!
And that drew some blood, as I think Sanders' nose is
now busted open!!!! That has to leave a mark!!! Hide your
eyes, honey, you don't need to see this...
And Powers now mounting the ropes again....he's got
his arms outstretched in a V formation.....SKYTWISTER
PRESS.....and he lands on his feet as
he sees Sanders raising his knees, EXCELLENT
presence of mind by Powers. Powers picking up
Sanders...SANDERS WITH A SMALL PACKAGE!!
ONE.........
TWO........
THR...no, kickout by Powers!
And that's why Powers is one of the strongest
wrestlers of the new millenium, right there!!!! Powers
grabbing Sanders' head and firing several knees right into
that nose, and then going for a leg driver...
NO HE'S NOT!!!!!! Sanders with a reflex elbowshot
that apparently hit the groin of Powers.
UN FOUL!!!!! Come on, Istanbul, call it a nutshot
when you see it!!
I'm sorry, that looked too reflexive to me, and now
Sanders is up... Belly to belly...blocked by Powers,
NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPL:EX!!!!
And a cover by Powers....ONE........
TWO......
AGAIN a kickout from Sanders!!!!!!!
OK, MIkey, I think you've played around enough with
him, you're starting to make me nervous.
Powers now has Sanders into a suplex position..sits
him on the top rope!!! Powers now climbing behind him,
he's going for an inverted tornado DDT,
it looks like...Sanders with an elbowsmash,
now turns around...HEAD AND ARM SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP
ROPE!!!!!!!!!
*CROWD POP*
Owie...
Powers landed HARD on that right arm, and Sanders now
moving in...and he locks on a cross arm breaker!!!!!!
That's his finisher, "The Duke"
No WAY is Powers going to tap out here.
He may not have much of a choice, they are center
ring, and Sanders will not let go.....Powers hanging in
there valiantly, looking for any way possible out of
this....
Come on, the time limit has to be over soon.
In about 4 minutes...I don't think he can last that
long...AND HE DOESN'T!!! MIKE POWERS TAPS OUT TO "THE
DUKE" !!!
*DING DING DING*
################################################
# WINNER: Simon Sanders, via submission 16:07 #
################################################
("Scatman" comes back on over the PA system as Sanders rolls out of the
ring)
This is a farce!!! That referee was bribed, Powers
would NEVER tap out to anything! He told me so
himself!!!!!
Well,according to Ray Chapman, he just did!!! Sanders
with an impressive win in his EWC debut, and now he will
be having a 3 way dance for the LH title on Lords of the
Ring, along with Furia and new LH champ Chris
Monroe!!!!
Mark my words, however, this will NOT be the last of
Mike Powers. He's got immense reserves of talent, and he
will not take this loss lying down!!!
I have to agree with you on that, Byron....Powers
will be a force in the EWC...but he still has much to
learn, and "Silky Smooth" Simon Sanders gave the
first lesson.