FROZEN HELL vs. THE DISCO DANCE KINGS [non-title]
[The ring announcement of Frozen Hell is cut short by the squealing of tires
and videowall going to an outside shot of the parking lot. A familiar theme
blares out over the sound system (well, familiar to 70s cop show
afficianados) as a
red Gran Torino with a white racing stripe careens around the corner,
fishtails and comes skidding to a halt knocking over trashcans in the
parking lot. At this point, the video production leaves a bit to be
desired as the cutaway jumps a bit (presumably to remove the stunt drivers)
and the passenger side door
opens.
Frieda, steps out with her long legs encased in bell-bottom blue jeans, a
jean jacket over an orange t-shirt (Florida's finest never looked so
good...or
ripe) with her blonde hair tucked up under a leather cap that Huggy Bear
wished he
could have made look so good. Following Frieda is a sunglasses-wearing
Torvald Reikkersen in a soft brown leather jacket over a black sweater and
dark brown corduroy pants as Detective Ken Hutchenson. Climbing from the
drivers' side
is Brad Watkins (in permed black wig) wearing blue jeans, and a handwoven
cream
and black patterned sweater over a button-up shirt. Watkins slides across
the hood a la Detective David Starsky and the trio enter the arena.]
Frozen Hell walks in to greet their many fans and seemingly does not hear the
boos (well, Frieda gets some cheers) along their walk to the ring where they
prepare for the Disco Dance Kings. Suddenly "Fire on High" by ELO begins to
play and Watkins and Reikkersen look at each other shocked, they turn to
Freida who just shrugs.
Bryan "B.G." Grant walks out dressed in blue slacks and a brown leather
jacket and an arrogant sneer that makes him resemble Elvis more than Sven
Broderick, and he even swivels his hips a bit before gesturing with "dual
pistol action." Following close behind is Jimmy "Saturday Night" LeFebvre
(as Rock Badderman) wearing a ripped dress shirt and loosened necktie,
complete with a drawn-on scar down the left side of his face. LeFebvre stops
and poses every few feet, flips out his police badge, and yells something
about being "Bad" before making like he is firing off some heavy automatic
weapon. Needless to say, the crowd is going crazy over this parody, while
Frozen Hell steams in the ring.
The Disco Dance Kings roll in the ring still whooping it up as the movie
stars as Jimmy LeFebvre approaches Brad Watkins with the badge under the
guise of a mock arrest, while B.G. Grant makes the foolish mistake of
"seducing" Frieda.
Watkins explodes on LeFebvre with a running forearm that send the badge
flying across the ring as Reikkersen shoots out a vicious kick to the back of
Grant's knee dropping him quickly. With the Dance Kings under assault the
referee calls for the bell and we're under way. After some initial pleading
finally Grant is kicked from the ring (literally) and LeFebvre bears the
brunt of the Watkins attack. Punches and kicks send him to the corner where
Watkins whips him to the far ropes into a powerslam. A knee drop (yes, that
knee) finds the mark across LeFebvre's forehead and Watkins drags him over
to Reikkersen by the leg.
Tag to Reikkersen who takes the opportunity of the held leg and bounces off
the ropes for a running kick to the hamstring and then a double posthole slam
on the knee sends Watkins to the outside. Reikkersen helped the game
LeFebvre up to his good leg and then picked him up for a kneebreaker on the
targeted extremity. Reikkersen then went for the Figure Fjord but LeFebvre
grabbed the ropes, so Reikkersen then placed LeFebvre's leg on the bottom
rope and repeated sit-down splashes drove the point home that LeFebvre's
dancing days were numbered. This relentless punishment brought the referee
over to administer a 5 count but he became preoccupied by Watkins who rushed
over to Grant and knocked him off the apron and was rearranging the ringside
area (along with Grant's body). The referee chose to restore order which
left Reikkersen and LeFebvre alone (with Frieda) and she quickly slid a chair
into the ring where Reikkersen bashed LeFebvre's knee a few times with the
metal before sliding it over the leg and measuring out a knee drop (and cool
roll afterwards WHOO!) that had LeFebvre's howling in pain. The chair was
removed the Figure Fjord was hooked on in center ring and the referee
miraculously made it back in to award the victory to the World Champs.
B.G. Grant staggered back in in a vain attempt to see to his partner and
ended up paying the price as Watkins gave him a knee to the back and then
retrieved the phony police badge LeFebvre brought into the ring and began
smashing/ripping at Grant's face with it drawing blood as the referees,
Natrone Getz and the Pendragons rushed to the ring to stop the carnage.
Watkins, Reikkersen and Frieda made a hasty retreat reveling in the "cheers."
*******************************
**Winners: Frozen Hell, 5:12**
*******************************
[GZ]
Damn, that was a great showing by Frozen Hell--incredible intensity coupled
with a real mean streak. I don't think the Disco Dance Kings will be doing
too much in the way of showboating any time soon.
[AB]
While it was quite the display by the EWC World Tag Team Champions, but
they won't find nearly as much time for such schenanigans when they face
the former champions, Weapons of Last Resort, at Hardcore Homecoming.
[GZ]
That's IF the Weapons aren't taken out of the picture during Turner's match
on Lord of the Rings with Watkins, that is. You know the champions will
have something planned for that match.
[AB]
And you don't think Turner and Kenzake will be ready for it? You never
give those two enough credit. They're the former champs and you have to
remember Frozen Hell never defeated them.
[GZ]
That's because the current champs outsmarted them then and they'll outsmart
them again over the next few weeks.
[AB]
Next up we have a match that was signed after the brutal attack by Mikhail
Tzskova and Sidi al Nassir on Titus Moongarden and Clay Evans last week on
Impact.
[GZ]
For those of you who have forgotten, Moongarden stole all of Nassir's
belongings so the Chic Sheikh came after him for revenge. When Evans tried
to stick his nose into someone else's business, Moongarden's chief rival to
this date, "The Philosopher" got involved and Evans was left out cold too.
[AB]
That's a one sided recap. For a hint of the other side let's go to the
back where Clay Evans is standing by.
=====
[Evans]
So, "Philosopher", how is it that you feel you cowardice will go
unpunished? Allow me to inform you of my philosophy. I believe in
dismembering fools like you. Slowly, but surely. I think that first I will
take your head from you. It surely isn't serving you well, so I hardly
think you would miss it.
No, no... I will simply break every bone in your body.. one by one by one.
First, I will take your legs from you. Fitting, really. You took Doctor
Feelgood's legs from him, and I will present yours to him on a silver
platter. Yes. Yes, that should be sufficient to start with.
Oh, and as for a certain announcer who sees fit to disrespect my former
"gimmick", if you will... either you will cease, or, plainly put, *you*
will be a target of the "Dematerialization". The choice is yours, prole.
(fade to black)
=====
[GZ]
If that was a thinly veiled threat to me, I'm going to hire the Chaos
Brigade to go out there and rip him in two. And who is he kidding anyway?
Evans already had his ass handed to him during the royal rumble, he's going
to be easy pickings for Tzskova.
[AB]
Moongarden is completely fresh and he's looking to go after Tzskova as well.
[GZ]
Titus has got to be the stupidest wrestler in the EWC. He's made so many
enemies, between Tzskova, Frown, Nassir, he just keeps getting attacked and
almost never gets to actually fight. I hope tonight is no different, so
Evans can get crippled in there.
[AB]
Wow, someone with some pent up hostility there. Referee Ray Chapman is in
the ring, so let's get this match underway.
MIKHAIL TZSKOVA & SIDI AL NASSIR vs. TITUS MOONGARDEN & CLAY EVANS
"Heaven for Everyone" by Queen cuts on and two extremely attractive women
come out drawing several catcalls and cheers. They are soon flanked by
Sidi al Nassir and Mikhail Tzskova and that turns the response into a
negative one in a real hurry. On the way to the ring Nassir grabs the
house mic...
[al Nassir]
It's trick-or-treat time people, so let's get the Mooncalf and the BBC
wannabe out here so Mikhail and I can go home and pass out some
Ex-Lax to all your little monsters.
(boooooooo...)
*SHORT REPORT ON*
That makes the crowd even angrier, but once "So Far I Have Not Found the
Science" by Soul Coughing faded on and the psychadelic lights kicked in,
the fans soon started cheering again. Evans (back in his standard
wrestling attire) and Moongarden didn't wait for any introductions through,
they just charged the ring and slid straight under the bottom rope and
towards their opponents. Tzskova and Nassir were waiting for them and
immediately started to stomp away before they could get to their feet.
Moongarden and Evans had braced themselves for the blows and shrugged most
of them off, getting to their feet behind a series of elbows to the stomach
that left their opponents open for european uppercuts followed by a classic
"noggin' nocker." With their opponents dazed Evans and Moongarden split
them up--Moongarden hit a leaping shoulder tackle that sent Nassir through
the ropes and into the steel divider, while Evans used a dragonscrew leg
whip to floor Tzskova before coming off the ropes and drop kicking him
square in the face. As the crowd cheered wildly, Chapman finally stepped
in and forced the combatants to get things settled. Moongarden stayed in
the ring with Tzskova as the announcers hyped that this had been a long
time coming.
Moongarden scooped Tzskova up and slammed him to the mat before coming off
the ropes and connecting with a sharp looking corkscrew elbow. He stayed
right on top of "The Philosopher" dropping a leg across this throat. Zane
begrudingly admitted that Moongarden was looking good but was quick to add
that it was because he was acting more aggressively and not pandering to
the fans. Tzskova was whipped to the ropes and caught on his way back for
a 180 degree side walk slam that drew a large pop and a 2 and a half count.
The tag was made to Evans and the offense changed modes but didn't
decrease in intensity. Evans stayed right on Tzskova's back dropping two
high elevation knee drops and then executing a side russian leg sweep to
bring Tzskova back to the mat. "The Timelord" grabbed his legs and seemed
to be going for the Dematerialization but Nassir, who was back on the
apron, charged in and dropped Evans with a sacrifice clothesline. Chapman
admonished him but at the same time did nothing to stop Nassir from
dragging Tzskova's body back into their corner and legally tagging in.
Nassir went straight up to the top rope and caught Evans with a flying
clothesline that had really nice hangtime. Nassir followed that up with a
jumping piledriver that had the crowd groaning when Evans seemingly bounced
straight off the mat. Nassir tooks a moment to check with Tzskova and see
how he was recovering. When he went back to Evans he was briefly slowed
with a headbutt to the stomach, but he leap-frogged over a lunging punch
attempt and came down right on the back of Evans' head. Evans was lifted
up for a suplex, but Nassir turned and dropped him stomach-first over the
top rope. Nassir then took a running charge, leapt over Evans, grabbed his
body and hit a sunset smash to the concrete that (in an odd bizarro world
moment) actually got the crowd cheering for a Nassir move. Tzskova then
stepped into the ring and tried to slap at Moongarden in order to draw him
into the ring; it worked. While Chapman dealt with those two, Nassir was
able to pick up a steel chair and crack it over Evans' head. Nassir then
set up the chair and put Evans onto it before going back onto the apron.
Exactly what he was going for we'll never know since Moongarden was able to
"accidentally" knock Ray Chapman into Nassir sending him off the apron and
arm first onto the ringstairs. Zane was quick to point out that was the
same arm he had taped up on last week's show thanks to Simon Sanders'
snapping.
Chapman started a slow count which actually got as high as 7 before Nassir
rolled himself back into the ring and tagged Tzskova in, breaking up the
count. He went to grab Evans and drag him back into the ring but Evans was
altert enough to take Tzskova's head and snap it over the top rope. That
allowed him to get into the ring. He rolled under an attempted clothesline
and tagged back in to Moongarden drawing a tremendous cheer and a TI-TUS
chant. Titus and Tzskova locked up with the stronger Moongarden gaining
the advantage and backing Tzskova into the corner for several open handed
chops. Two big headbutts left Tzskova open for an inverted atomic drop
that left "The Philosopher" slumped over in the corner. Moongarden went
for an irish whip but Tzskova reversed and sent Titus into the corner.
Hardly phased Moongarden charged back at his opponent only to get caught
with a drop kick to the knee that knocked him straight over. Tzskova went
right at Moongarden's leg draping it over the second rope and leaping onto
it, repeatedly jarring it with his weight. It appeared as if Tzskova was
going for a back suplex but instead he turned his body and drove Titus,
knee first into the mat. The leg was then synched in a crucifix kneebar as
the tag was made to Nassir. The Sheikh came off the top rope with his
patented somersault leg drop and covered for 2 and 9/10.
Nassir sent Moongarden to the ropes but his knee buckled, so Nassir stopped
in his tracks and caught him with a leg lariat. Zane made a point of
stressing how Tzskova and Nassir showed a lack of continuity as Nassir had
abandoned the leg weaked by his partner. Titus still refused to go down as
he remained on one knee--Nassir just waited for him and, as he got back up,
Nassir started spinning before connecting with the "Whirling Dervish" a
series of spinning backfist strikes to the jaw that busted Moongarden open.
Titus was grabbed and lifted into the air for a gutwrench suplex, yet on
the way over, Evans was able to reach out and tag his partner. Nassir was
unaware of this and, as he covered, was wide open with a second rope
forearm drop to the back of the head. Nassir was yanked off the mat,
kicked in the stomach, and sent face first to the mat courtesy of a
sit-down face slam. He covered but Tzskova came into the ring and broke up
the count. Moongarden couldn't resist coming back into the ring which, of
course, distracted Chapman. This gave Tzskova a window to save his partner
by pulling down the top rope causing a running Evans to sail over the top
rope. Tzskova followed him down and sent him flying into the post. By the
time Chapman was facing the action Nassir was legally tagging Tzskova into
the match.
When Evans got back onto the apron Tzskova grabbed him and helped him back
in with a vertical suplex. He then grabbed Evans' leg and hit three
successive running leg snaps before dropping two leg drops for good
measure. Things only got worse for Evans as Tzskova grabbed the leg, ran
up the ropes and snapped back really wrenching it good. That left Evans
wide open to be locked in a Texas Cloverleaf and drew Chapman over to check
for a submission. With Chapman's attention elsewhere, Nassir left the
apron and snuck up from behind Moongarden, hitting him in the knee with the
time keeper's bell and then press slamming him onto the concrete. Nassir
and Tzskova made eye contact and nodded. "The Philosopher" then released
the hold, dropped a headbutt to the inner thigh, and then locked on a
scorpion deathlock. Zane reveled in the irony of Tzskova using Evans' own
hold to punish him while Nassir continued to pound on Moongarden on the
floor. There was only one problem, Evans knew the hold well enough that he
was able to reverse it and end up with Tzskova trapped at center ring and
Nassir oblivious to his plight. Tzskova hung in there for a rather long
time and almost got to the ropes, but eventually it was too much and he was
forced to tap out.
***************************************
**Winners: Evans & Moongarden, 10:24**
***************************************
*SHORT REPORT OFF*
[AB]
Evans and Moongarden have won it!!! The only catch is that Evans is
refusing to release Tzskova from the "Dematerialization." Chapman is
trying to get him off but Evans uses his free hand to toss him aside and
now he just rears back to apply more pressure! Evans said he was going to
try and break Tzskova's legs.
[GZ]
Somebody stop this psychopath! Nassir finally realizes what's going on and
he grabs a chair. CRACK!!! Evans never saw him coming and Nassir is able
to free his partner and split Evans head open!!! Now THIS is what I like
to see!!!
(mega-jeers)
[AB]
Tzskova slides to the corner to try and regain some feeling in his lower
back as Nassir sits Evans on the top rope and goes up after him. SCIRROCCO
DDT!!! Evans is out cold!!!
[GZ]
You didn't seem this hung up on stopping the violence when Evans was
dishing it out. Afraid he can't take it?
(the crowd bursts into cheers)
[AB]
Titus is back up and he's in the ring lunging like a man possessed!!!
Clothesline drops Nassir and now Tzskova grabs him and they hit the runway
helping eachother to the back. And the crowd is cheering Titus in the
ring, celebrating his team's victory.
[GZ]
Funny, but Nassir and Tzskova are the ones walking away, while Moongarden
is tending to a bloody Clay Evans. You tell me who the REAL winners are.
[AB]
This war may not be over yet, Greg.
[GZ]
I think Mikhail and Sidi are more than ready for it.
[AB]
Now it's time to take a look at another newcomer to the EWC--his name is
Genesis.
[GZ]
And mine's Nintendo. Hah!
=====
[Cut to... a room of some sort. Its dark, very dark, and in the
shadows we can barely make out two men. No details, but one is
clearly bigger than the other. The rest of the room is mostly
blacked out, with some red light along the floor being the only
illumination.]
[Big Man]
It is time. The Genesis has awoken.
[Small Man]
It is indeed time. Time for you, my friend, to go out there
and wreck havoc on the unsuspecting enemies, to gain revenge
for victims everywhere.
[Big Man]
I will go out there AND PURGE ALL EVIL! I will NOT BE STOPPED!
I will NOT BE CONTAINED! I AM GENESIS!!
And now its time for me to RAISE A LITTLE HELL!!!
[Small Man]
Evil-doers beware, Genesis is on his way.
(Fade out.)
=====
GENESIS vs. "THE SILVER FOX" RANDALL RUSSO
[Russo was announced first to no great crowd reaction. Some of the
really old timers seemed to remember him, but mostly it was just polite
applause. Then the lights were cut...]
[PA System]
His opponent... standing 6'8 and weighing 278lbs... led to the ring by
his manager, Seth... here is... GENESIS!
[As "Orion" by Metallica started playing, the aisle way lit up with red,
as smoke poured out of the entrance way. A blinding light was then lit
from the back, and in the light was seen the sillouette of a large man,
muscles everywhere. By his side, a smaller man with a cane. Together they
walked out, the smaller man, Seth, wearing ordinary clothes but walking
with a cane with a devils tail twisting around it, and the larger man,
Genesis, wearing long red pants, the picture of a devils tail twisting
down one leg and one of an angels wing on the other. Completing the
outfit was his studded leather bracelets and black leather boots. He
stalked down to ringside, waiting only for Seth to catch up.]
[AB]
What an imposing specimen. If this rookie is half as dangerous as he
looks, he's going to hurt a lot of people.
[GZ]
Do you know anything about wrestling? That guy's no rookie--he's one half
of the former USeW TV Tag Champs Heaven and Hell. If he's half as lousy
now as he was then, Russo may still have another shot at glory.
After Genesis had entered the ring, *over* the top rope of course, the
referee caled both men to the middle of the ring and called for the bell.
Russo started out strong, hammering Genesis with numerous double axehandles.
Unfortunately for the grizzled old job... veteran, they were easily shrugged
off by the imposing monster. A single right hand from Genesis, however, took
Russo off his feet. He got up quickly, but this time ran right into a BIG
spinebuster! Genesis was on him like a cat, lifting him up with a single hand
on the throat, and converting it into an impressive one handed choke slam.
Having toyed enough with the old-timer, Genesis hooked on a double underhook,
yanking Russo off his feet with a double underhook powerbomb, named the
"Soul Reaper" by {pick an announcer}, a move that easily got him the win.
**************************
**Winner: Genesis, 2:13**
**************************
[AB]
What was that about not being impressive? Genesis just annihilates Randall
Russo. I see big things for this man.
[GZ]
He beat Randall Russo, not Chris Sims-let's not get carried away. He's
used to being a tag team specialist, I'm not sold that he can win on his
own. Let's wait and see.
[AB]
When we return, it's Power Supply against Children of Apocalypse for a shot
at the North American Tag Team Title finals.