TITUS MOONGARDEN vs. ARSENIC (of VENOM)
"Blackened" by Metallica burst onto the PA system as "Poisonous" Pete McGee
lead his former EWC TV Tag Champs, Arsenic and Cyanide, VENOM, to ringside
to the obligatory minor jeers as they jawed with the fans to get as much
heat as possible. They got to the ring, growled, and awaited their opponent.
"So Far I Have Not Found the Science" by Soul Coughing came on next and, as
multi-colored lights provided a psychadelic backdrop, Titus Moongadren came
out and the fans gave a good sized pop. He slapped hands with just about
everybody, but his normal giant grin was replaced by a look of intensity.
When Arsenic started pointing at him and making bone snapping motions
Moongarden just shook his head and laughed it off.
[AB]
We really need more guys in this sport with hearts as big as Moongarden's.
[GZ]
Excuse me? You are talking about the thief who stole all of Sidi al
Nassir's belongings aren't you? He's a felon and an imbecile, I hope
McGee's got Arsenic ready to tear him apart.
[AB]
He's a great person who puts the fans and others ahead of himself.
However, after what we saw on Lord of the rings this week, I would NOT want
to be Mikhail Tzskova the next time he crosses Moongarden's path. There's
only so much one man can take before he snaps. Even someone like Titus.
[GZ]
Oh, he'll snap all right, when Tzskova breaks him in two.
DING, DING, DING....
[AB]
Arsenic charges right at Moongarden who is able to duck the attempted
clothesline, spin him around and catch him with a lariat of his own. Now
the 260 pounder is staggered by a headbutt, sent into the ropes, caught by
Moongarden and powerslammed to the mat. One, two...kick out.
[GZ]
McGee is on the apron in a hurry to yell at Chapman about a fast count.
[AB]
What fast count? That was as fair as a count can get.
[GZ]
No kidding, he's just buying his man time. You know, the reason people pay
managers. And just like the feeble-minded hippy he is here comes
Moongarden towards McGee.
[AB]
Big haymaker on the manager who goes flying off the apron to the arena
floor and crashing into Cyanide knocking both men over!!!
(POOOOOOOOOOOP)
[GZ]
That was so unneccessary--McGee wasn't hurting anybody. It was also a
lapse in concentration to focus on McGee because it gave Arsenic a chance
to get back up.
[AB]
He charges from behind and nails a high knee to the back. Moongarden
slumps against the ropes so Arsenic grabs his head and drags it straight
across burning his eyes. Two double axehandles find the mark and
Moongarden is quickly in trouble.
[GZ]
This is what you get for trying to wrestle while on drugs. Totally messes
with your focus.
[AB]
Speaking from experience?
[GZ]
Very funny. Moongarden forgot about his opponent and now he's paying for
it being on the receiving end of a knee lift.
[AB]
Arsenic with an elbow to the head and now he lifts Moongarden up into the
air for a big-time suplex. He keeps him suspended in the air, but
Moongarden struggles and manages to slip down the back. Boot to the
stomach and a quick gut-wrench powerbomb!!!
(yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!)
[GZ]
Moongarden pumps his fists when again he should be staying on top of his
man. Cyanide on the apron now--let's see if the big buffoon can resist the
temptation.
[AB]
Why bother? Moongarden with a handful of hair and he yanks Cyanide into
the ring. He picks him up, presses him into the air, turns around and
javelin tosses him right into Arsenic. Nice move!!! Now a double
noggin'-knocker drops VENOM and Moongarden climbs to the top turnbuckle to
bask in the cheers.
(TI-TUS!!! TI-TUS!!! But suddenly a few fans start booing mercilessly)
[GZ]
I think somebody better stop posing and turn around--he's got company.
[AB]
It's SIDI AL NASSIR and he's got that walking stick from earlier!
[GZ]
He's also got one arm in a sling thanks to that merciless predator, Simon
Sanders and he's still out here. What a trooper!
[AB]
Titus climbs down from the turnbuckle just in time to get a taste of wood
right against the jaw. Now Nassir with another shot that breaks the stick
right over his head busting him open!!! He's peppering Moongarden with
kicks to the ribs.
(the fans are enraged)
[GZ]
This is what happens to people who steal. Moongarden should be happy
Nassir's not trying to cut his hand off.
[AB]
Here come a few officials to try and break things up but McGee orders VENOM
to cut them off and after a few well placed kicks and punches they're left
lying. Nassir climbs up to the top rope and rocks Moongarden with a
somersault leg drop. This is going to get ugly fast.
[GZ]
Or really enjoyable depending on how you see it.
(the fans suddenly stop tossing garbage and burst into a decent cheer)
[AB]
It's CLAY EVANS!!! He's rushing towards the ring and he's got a steel
chair!!!
[GZ]
Big deal, he's still got to get through Arsenic and Cyanide. And even if
he does, by that time, Moongarden will be a permanent cripple.
[AB]
Evans with a chair shot to Arsenic's head and now one to the ribs of
Cyanide. Double clothesline sends VENOM scrambling. McGee's telling his
men to hightail it out of there. I guess whatever Nassir was paying them
isn't enough for this. Now Evans can finally stop Nassir.
[GZ]
OR he could eat concrete!!!
(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!)
[GZ]
Mikhail Tzskova from out of nowhere with a spear from behind. Evans picked
up and stun gunned across the steel railing. This has ingenious plan
written all over it. I think someone has a new partner.
[AB]
Nassir sends Moongarden sailing over the top rope and he follows out to
join Tzskova for a few kicks on Evans before they shake hands and head to
the back.
(things are pretty hot in the arena)
[GZ]
I LOVE it!!! There is justice in the world and it's being brought to us by
"The Chic Sheikh" and "The Philosopher." If I were Moongarden and Evans
I'd just pack up my OWN bags and call it a career.
[AB]
Somehow I doubt that's what they're going to do. In fact, I bet they come
after those two with a vengeance.
[GZ]
Good luck--those two will always be seriously outclassed by men of such
intellect and class like Nassir and Tzskova.
[AB]
Fans, we're down to our final match of the night. It's also the last first
round encounter in our North American Tag Team Title Tournament as Curtis
"C-Jack" Stone and Jon Owens, Power Supply, battle Greg and Mark, the
Waverunners.
[GZ]
I said it at the start of the show, Owens and Stone are my pick to win this
entire thing. Power Supply already has the Television Champion, Nick
Duncan, in their midst and it's only a matter of time before they add the
North American tag titles.
[AB]
To do so they only have to face off against one of the most experienced and
popular teams in the history of the old KWF/AWA. Sure the Waverunners like
to hit the waves and have a good time but once they're inside the ring,
they can take it to anyone.
[GZ]
I can't wait for you to realize just how wrong you are.
North American Tag Team Title Tournament--First Round
Power Supply (Owens/Stone) vs. The Waverunners
"WipeOut" by the Surfaris comes on as white and gold lights strike the
runway. Mark and Greg appear on the ramp carrying bodyboards and charge to
the ring slapping hands and pumping their fists as they go. Once in the
ring they ask for a mic.
[Greg]
PAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR-TY!!!
(the crowd responds. They're ready to party)
[Greg]
That's right, dudes and dude-ettes. The Wave Runners are back in business!
Didja miss us?
(The crowd responds with a sizable "YES!")
[Greg]
And we missed all of you, too. And lemme tell ya, it feels *so* cool to be
in the most super-radical wrestling federation around today, the EWC!
(it was a cheap plug, but it worked)
[Greg]
And we're here to do what we do best, and that's have as much fun as the law
allows! And tonight, our fun is gonna be at the expense of the Power Dudes,
Jon Owens and C-Jack Stone.
(Smattering of boos at the mention of those names)
[Mark]
Owens-dude, we know you've had your head full of Roker Showtime the past few
weeks. Well, lemme just clear something up right now - The Greg-meister and
I, we know Roker Showtime. We've worked with Roker Showtime. And
Jon-boy..... (pauses for effect) *WE* are *NO* Roker Showtimes!
(Some laughter mixed among the cheers)
[Mark]
Owens, you're stepping into the ring with a pair of wild, crazy,
uncontrollable idiots who'll do anything and try anything! You have no idea
what we're gonna do.... heck, not even *WE* know what we're gonna do! So how
in the world can you prepare for that? Now Stone-dude on the other hand,
you're a pretty good singles wrestler. But when it comes to tag teaming.....
[Both]
YOU DON'T KNOW C-JACK!!!
(Decent pop for that line)
[Greg]
Y'see, Power Dudes, the Mark-man and I have been tag teaming all our lives.
It's the only thing we know, and it's the one thing we do better than anybody
else. And this tag team machine has a Tidal Wave ready to come crashing down
all over you. 'Cause when you're in the ring with the Wave Runners, there's
only one word to describe the rush......
(the crowd is waiting to join in and they do)
[Both]
EXCELLEEEEEEEEENNNNNNT!!!
(Almost without missing a cue, Metallica's "The House That Jack Built" plays
over the speakers, and, as Curtis Stone and Jon Owens make their way to the
ring, the fans quickly start their jeers and catcalls. Owens stalks
slowly, occasionally tossing an absent glare at a particularly
hostile fan, while Stone acts oblivious, occasionally jogging laps
around his partner ... as they reach the aisle's opening, the music
cuts into "El Phantasmo and the Chicken Blast-O-Rama" by White
Zombie ... as they roll into the ring, more bad news becomes obvious:
Stone's still carrying a pair of microphones.)
[Stone]
WAAAAAAAAAKE UP, Binghamton! The boredom is gone, 'cuz C-Jack is on! And
C-Jack's got a pop quiz comin' at ya -- let's go to the map! MIRROR,
MIRROR, ON THE WALL -- what's this tourney mean for us all?
{The wall lights up, as usual, with a full-screen close-up of a
grinning Curtis ...}
[Virtual Stone]
Even uncrowned, the Power Supply is still king,
so the North American belts, don't mean a damn thing!
[Stone]
And the wall knows all ... so what brings Jon Owens and C-Jack Stone
to you this week, live, front and center, you may ask ... and it's
three reasons!
First, together with Lords of the Ring, this week's completin' a C-Jack
Double-Pack, and I could never forgive myself if I denied all my
thousands and thousands of fans a treat like that!
Second, tonight's the night you see that my compadre without compare
here, the man that ENDED Roker Showtime's career, walked away from
that awesome feat 100% and without a dent! Because the Power Supply
IS ONE SHOW THAT CAN'T BE STOPPED!
[AB]
I think that might be a debatable point.
[GZ]
Shut up and let me enjoy some articulate comments for once.
[CS]
And third ... because when C-Jack saw the brackets would put us
against a couple of brain-dead beach-bums who spend more time outside
the ring or on the beach than inside the ropes, I knew we couldn't
turn that down. Waverunners, you crude dudes are in for a SERIOUS
crash-course in what this sport is REALLY about. You two seem to
think "wrestling" is spelled T-A-B-E-L-S -- that's TWO levels of
stupidity, and that DEFINITELY calls for a C-Jack Attack! So Jon
here is gonna tear you apart brick by brick, and I'm gonna be
there to knock the pieces down!
(the Waverunners look at eachother and do the fake quivering in fear bit)
[Owens]
A long time ago, Waverunners, I was once like you. I was a clown
dancing on a string trying to wring cheers from hopeless nobodies
just like these. But I woke up, 'Runners. I realized how pathetic
that was.
Now, I only care about one opinion: mine, at the end of the night,
looking in a mirror and asking, was I the best man in the ring
that day? And sooner or later, you're going to wake up as well.
Sadly, it might be years down the road ... or it might be tonight,
when I show you pain you never imagined "hanging 10", and show
you that pain is under MY control.
(Owens takes the mic and tosses at into Greg's chest as Stone bum-rushed Mark)
DING, DING, DING...
*SHORT REPORT MODE ON*
Stone was able to catch the unsuspecting Mark with a running forearm to the
head and then a stiff knee to the stomach. Greg moved to help his partner
but referee Mason Crow would have none of it. As he made a big deal about
ushering Greg to his corner, Owens remained in the ring, locked Mark in an
abdominal stretch and held him there so that Stone could come off the ropes
with a running kick to the chest. "C-Jack" stayed right on the smaller
Mark twisting his arm several times before unleashing a particularly nasty
looking short-armed clothesline. Rather than allowing him to fall, Stone
caught Mark from behind, held him up, and suplexed him to the mat. Looking
for an early win, Stone hit a snap powerslam but Mark managed to get a
shoulder up at two.
As Greg started the fans on a "MARK" chant from the apron, his partner was
sent hard into the opposing corner. Stone got down in a three point
stance, measured him and charged at him...only to find that Mark had moved
and sail shoulder-first into the ringpost. Mark was still winded and dazed
so he was slow to start crawling to his corner. Stone, on the other hand,
was in his own corner so Owens was quickly tagged into the match. Rather
than try to drag Mark back to center ring, Owens ran right past him and hit
a forearm smash to Greg's face. The irate Waverunner tried to get into the
ring but Crow ushered him back out of the ring while Owens hit a deadly
looking fireman's carry rib-breaker. A series of knees to the stomach were
followed by elbows to the small of the back. With the middle softened up,
an STF was applied at center ring.
Crow was right in Mark's face to check for the submission, but absorbing
the clapping of the fans, he'd have none of it. After about 20 seconds,
however, Greg was unable to stand it so he ran into the ring, came off the
ropes, and drop kicked Owens right in the face. Before Crow could try to
get Greg out of the ring, Stone came barreling back into the squared
circle. However, the faster Runner was able to avoid the charge and use a
drop-toe hold to send Stone crashing right into a rising Owens head first.
Somehow, Mark had gotten back to his feet and, though holding his ribs, was
able to match Greg with stereo drop kicks sending both members of Team
Power Supply to the floor and giving the fans something to really cheer
about. As if they needed any more encouragement, the Runners looked at
eachother, smiled, and charged through the ropes hitting simultaneous
planchas. The Waverunners gave one another a high-five and then climbed
back into the ring.
Despite both Runners being charged with adrenaline, Greg wisely stayed in
the ring to await the returning Owens. In typical Owens fashion, he wiped
away the small bead of crimson that had appeared on his lip, nodded his
head in respect and climbed back in through the ropes. The two locked up
at center ring and the larger Owens shoved Greg to the ropes ducked behind
him synched his arms around Greg's waste and tossed him back to the mat
with a resounding THUD. Greg fought to get right back up but that only
allowed Owens to stun him with repeated knee smashes before driving him
right back to the mat with a powerbomb. Rather than cover, Owens applied a
scorpion deathlock while also tagging in Stone. C-Jack came off the second
rope with a knee drop to Greg's neck and covered. A three count might have
fallen had Mark not come in to interupt the count this time.
Greg was repeatedly kicked in the corner before staggering out into a
ring-shaking spinebuster. Stone covered but right before the three count
fell, he picked Greg up to some massive heat. After dropping a forearm
over the back of his neck he positioned Greg for a leaping piledriver.
Greg was able to struggle though and he backdropped his way to freedom.
More importantly, he was able to flop forward right into his corner and the
tag to Mark. Stone stood up and walked right into a running drop kick that
sent him into the rops. On the rebound a super kick found the mark
allowing Mark to hit a belly to belly suplex for two. Mark took a moment
to argue with Crow about the speed of the count but turned around and
caught Stone with a baseball slide to the face before a tag to Owens could
occur. Stone was lifted into the air and dropped down for an inverted
atomic drop, as Stone bounced back up Mark caught his head and DDT'd it to
the canvas. A tag to Greg followed and the Runners caught Stone with the
"Face Sandwich" book end spin wheel kicks. This might have ended things
had Crow not decided to usher Mark out of the ring instead of making the
pin.
The Waverunners were irate with Crow and gave him a big earful. With all
this going on Stone tagged back in to Owens and the two men leveled Greg
with a double clothesline. Owens trapped him in a full nelson and Stone
used the opening to drive a running shoulder into his stomach. With Greg
still trapped Owens snapped back for a dragon suplex...he didn't let go
however and he unleashed another two dragon suplexes before bridging for a
pinfall attempt. One, two, and Greg was able to somehow flip his weight
over and get his feet in the ropes. Owens unleashed a series of brutal
stomps to the neck furthering going after his point of attack. Another
quick tag was made to Stone who hit the ropes only to go sailing to the
floor after Mark "accidentally" pulled down the top rope. With Stone down
Mark leapt onto the middle ropes and hit a springboard twisting flying
forearm that knocked Stone right into the Spanish Announcer's Table. With
Crow admonishing Mark, however, Owens decided to remain inside the ring and
hit a gut wrench suplex and then a big leg drop.
Finally, Mark rolled Stone into the ring and tried desperately to motivate
his partner to make the tag. Neither man was quick to his feet but at an 8
count Stone was back up. He made a critical error and hit Greg with a right
that sent him flying into his own corner and allowed a tag. The crowd
erupted in cheers as Mark burst through the ropes and turned an attempted
Stone charge into a samoan drop. A spinning neckbreaker followed and then
a second rope forearm drop for a two and a half count. Mark was relentless
hitting a stun gun onto the top turnbuckle for another near fall that Owens
needed to break up. Stone managed to slip out of a belly to back suplex
attempt and stun Mark with a palm strike allowing a tag back to Owens.
Owens' attempted whip was reversed and as he headed to the ropes he saw
Greg waiting with a cocked fist so he hit the breaks. Too bad he turned
around and got nailed with a drop kick by Mark that sent him into Greg's
fist any way and then back into Mark for a side russian leg sweep.
With the fans cheering like crazy now, Mark tagged in Greg and the
Waverunners executed a crisp vegomatic "The Beach Blast." Again Crow was
slow with the count otherwise the match might have ended. To keep the
pressure on, Greg tagged back to Mark to renew the count but Crow would
have none of it gettng right in their faces. Sick of his antics, Mark
picked the thin referee up and moved him out of the way. The Waverunners
hit a double slingshot suplex and Mark covered for the pin...only Crow was
leaning back in the corner refusing to count. The crowd, and the
Waverunners were livid. Mark was screaming at Crow and as Greg moved to
join from the apron, Stone came up from behind him and hit an electric
chair suplex onto the floor. Inside the ring, Owens snuck up from behind
Mark, drove a knee into his back, grabbed both his arms and snapped back
for his Asylum suplex. One quick count later and Power Supply had advanced
to the semi-finals.
*********************************
**Winners: Power Supply, 13:51**
*********************************
Short on time, Bishop and Zane quickly wrapped things up hyping the
semi-finals of the tournament for next week's show. Right before fading to
black the camera caught the Waverunners in the ring tossing Crow over the
top rope to an appreciative, sympathetic, pop.
[fade to black]