Experts: Sexual predators often present benign facade

William Hermann

The Arizona Republic

Apr. 30, 2003 06:55 PM

Protecting children from sexual molesters is difficult because successful predators present a benign, even pleasing, facade, say Valley psychiatrists, psychologists and law enforcement officials.

"Television and movies and popular novels make you think the local sex offender is this guy with Coke bottle glasses who walks with a limp, talks with a lisp and drives a beat up car," Scottsdale forensic psychiatrist Steve Pitt said.

"But these individuals come in all shapes and sizes, and most of them seem like very normal, even very pleasant people.

"One thing we find is these types of offenders' chosen occupation may be for abuse reasons."

In other words, successful molesters are wolves in sheep's clothing and they hang out close to the sheep pens.

Recent Valley child molestation arrests point to the apparently harmless façade successful molesters present. In most cases, colleagues and friends of the suspects expressed astonishment at the arrest. In many molestation arrests of teachers, angry parents demonstrate in favor of the suspect, even after they are convicted.

Authorities say parents can keep their children from becoming a victim of a molester by understanding the nature of these people, and learning some telltale signs.

"Most of these individuals are married, have families and still do this kind of thing," Scottsdale psychologist Marcus Earle said. "There is a distortion that develops, perhaps in childhood, where there has been traumatic events or some abuse.

"Often times it is someone who was themselves sexually abused and they end up reenacting that abuse over time because it was done to them," Earle said. "They're not looking to do it vindictively but the emotional trauma they went through pulls them into doing the same kind of thing."

Tempe psychologist Sal Severe, a consultant to schools, said, "Being molested creates in many children a feeling of guilt: 'I'm a bad person,' and they often blame themselves for it as they get older.

"One of the worst things about a child being molested is it can activate their sexual curiosity prematurely and they become sexually curious and later they become perpetrators against children," Severe said. "It's hard then to blame that person for being a perpetrator when they've been a victim."

There are red flags parents can watch for, says Maricopa County Prosecutor Cindy Nannetti.

A person who constantly flatters and showers attention upon young people is a person parents should pay attention to, she said. The most successful predators are brilliant manipulators.

"Think about a teacher, a coach, a priest, day care worker, slowly building a relationship so the child has a bond, an affection with that person," Nannetti said. "This teacher, or whoever, tells the young person how intelligent, how beautiful, how special he or she is and children-especially ones from dysfunctional homes - love to hear that. This person treats the child special and gives them time and attention, which we all crave. Then the kids are quite confused when hands-on sexual contact occurs."

Authorities also say to be watchful for the teacher who is in constant contact with children and seldom seeks out the company of adults.

"Be suspicious of a person who spends too much time with kids," Nannetti said. "Healthy adults who supervise children crave adult time too," she said. "When we prosecute a sex offender often the defense will call character witnesses who say, 'Why, he's a wonderful man and just loves being with kids."'

"Parents have to be mindful of who their child spends time with," Nannetti said. "When you allow your child to spend time with someone you are indirectly telling your child that being with that person is OK."

Nannetti said parents should also pay close attention to the people their children are communicating with on their computers.

"We'd never allow a stranger in our kid's bedroom but we put a computer in there and that's like inviting 1,000 strangers into the bedroom," Nannetti said. "That is one of the ways we're seeing more and more kids groomed."

Characteristics of sexual predators

1. Refusal to take responsibility for his or her actions and blames others or circumstances for failures.
2. A sense of entitlement.
3. Low self-esteem.
4. A need for power and control.
5. A lack of empathy.
6. An inability to form intimate relationships with adults.
7. A history of abuse.
8. A troubled childhood.
9. Deviant sexual behaviors and attitudes.
10. Drug and/or alcohol abuse.

Source: Protecting Your Children From Sexual Predators by Colorado psychologist Leigh Baker.