It seems that, sometime in the distant past (well past your bedtime young man) Upper East Ghana, which was at that time called Lower West Ghana, was infested by plagues of dung beetles. "Those beetles are stealing all our dung," the villagers would cry as they beat them back from the dungheaps with sticks. In fact, so little dung was being used to fertilize the soil that all that would grow were boisenberry plants.
The country was in turmoil, half the time beating back the dung beetles, half the time throwing away all the rotting boisenberries ("A few boisenberries goes a long way," was a popular saying at the time, even though everyone knew it wasn't grammatically correct, for, amazingly, they all spoke English). Something had to be done.
Meanwhile, living in a hovel (or is that hovel in a living?) was a hermit by the name of Alandys. At least, that's what she called herself, and who are we to argue with a hermit. So, she saw the plight of the towns and cities and walked the 8,000 miles from her hut on the plain (or is that from her plane on the hut) to the capital city, consoling all those who came to be consoled (and consolidating all those who came to be consolidated). When she arrived before the throne of the King (here's where we steal righteously from Exodus) he told her he would give her all of the gold in the his treasury if she could stop the plague. She said, "Let my people go," meaning, of course, that she wanted the people to dump their privies on the dung heaps (this same line was later stolen by evil agents of J*H*V*H and used in several movies, but the writer of this tale has yet to see any royalties). The King, misinterpreting what she had said, thought she meant "Bet my little toe," and so, following the commands of this holy person, had his little toe lopped off and wagered on a horse in a race(the horse later won, raising the quandry of what you pay back on a bet of a little toe, which gave rise to the massive chopping off of bookies toes and eventually led to the fall of the Lower West Ghananian government, but that's another story).
Alandys meanwhile, realizing, because she was a holy person, that this story was getting way too long and complicated, raised her hands over the land and said "Get out you stinky icky bugs!" This, surprisingly enough, didn't work.
So Alandys cleaned herself up, married the King, took over much of his power, instituted a program of massive dung beetle extermination, and in no time at all had totally destroyed every dung beetle in the land. Everyone fell down and worshipped her as like unto a god, as people were always doing in those times.
Thus, Lower West Ghana (now Upper East Ghana) was saved, Alandys was proven as holy, and irreparable damage to the ecosystem of Lower West Ghana, forcing their move to Upper East Ghana later that day.
All hail Discordia, who works in ways so mysterious She makes the Christian God sound like Barney.
Back to the Cathedral