A Personal Message
from Field Marshall and Supreme Commander
Easier Rhino I
Why does this magnificent Horde exist? Are we purely for the amusement of our glorious leader, me? Do we die by the millions to satisfy his, and by that I mean my, bizarre desires?
No! We exist to destroy our enemies! We live for the feel of enemies being crushed beneath our boots, the smell of smoke rising from enemy buildings, the sound of the lamentations of enemy women and children (or men and children if our enemy happens to be a matriarchal society), the sight of blood staining the hilts of our swords, the taste... well, I'm not sure what taste we live for, but by Goddess, it has something to do with crushing our enemies utterly.
I created this Horde to do my bidding, certainly, but we are drawn by a common bond. No, not the bond of being very well paid. Shut up. You'll get your pay packets on payday, and no plunder until we take the capital. No, we are drawn by the common bond of the need to ride down upon our foe like the waves crashing on the shore. We will be triumphant! We will lay waste to all that oppose us, and then we will lay waste to everything else too, just because it's fun to do! We will kill everything in the entire world and then burn everything that isn't alive to the ground, salt the earth, build a huge rocket, use it to steer the planet off course, and then smash it into the sun! We will return existence to the nothing from whence it came!
At this point, Field Marshall Easier Rhino I lapsed into curses and vague-sounding imprecations.
There is no escape from The Horde