I walked past my drive, it was still very early, my bedroom curtains were still closed which meant that Harry was probably still sleeping, I found my house keys on my front tyre where I had left them when I went out for my walk. The walk that was meant to clear my head from the events of the previous evening the walk that resulted in my baptism of voyeurism and almost led to me letting a complete stranger have sex with me. I decided to try and get a little sleep on the sofa, Harry would just assume that I had been there all night and I wouldn’t have to explain where I had been.

The ringing of the telephone tore into my consciousness, I had been dreaming and I had incorporated the sound of the telephone into my dream. It was only after the phone had been ringing for too long for my mind to find it believable that I woke up. Sandy was ringing me from work, she had just switched her phone to hands free and was getting on with her work while waiting for me to pick up. “You’re a dark horse Tracey”. She said to me after I said, “Hello”. I didn’t know what she was she meant but she soon proved that Carol and she had no secrets from each other. Sandy knew all about my watching Carol and Paul the bus driver, knew all about me watching the couples in the car park and also knew all about what happened in Carol’s living room in the very early hours of the morning. “I want to meet for coffee after work”, she said, I didn’t even know what time it was then, I had assumed that it was still early, that Harry was still in bed, no, that didn’t make sense, he was such a light sleeper that he would have woken and answered the phone by the second or third ring. I had to focus hard to see the time, it was eleven-thirty, Harry had told me when I tried to get him to have sex with me that he had to be in work early. I checked the drive, there was Harry’s car, NOT! He had gone to work without waking me, he had never left the house without giving me a kiss first in all the time that we had been living together. “Well, are you coming into Arnold for that coffee or not?” I ‘umed’ and ‘ared’ for a while then I asked her what time, “Twelve-thirty”, I agreed and we would meet outside the doctors surgery.

We found a quiet corner in the café, in its hey day the ‘Tea for Two’ had been a genteel meeting place for ‘Ladies wot do Lunch’ but now it was mainly a waiting room for the benefit fraternity, waiting for their next ‘cash fix’ over a cold cup of rank coffee. Sandy wanted the dirt, she wanted to know everything, she had assumed that I was the same old ‘Miss Prissy Pants’ that she had known from collage but recent reports had seriously dented her image of me. “I’m sorry to dissappoint Sandy, but I really am just as you expected me to be!” Sandy sat back in her chair, she was trying to make up her mind if I was telling the truth or if I was the best liar she had met. I explained that the only reason that I was wandering around after midnight was a slight problem at home. Sandy wouldn’t let that go, she wanted details. I took my diary out of my handbag, it always amazed me just how much I could cram into such a small space, new housing developers should build houses like handbags, much smaller on the outside than the inside. Sandy’s eyes lit up when she saw my diary, I opened it at page one, Sandy read that page and she laughed out loud, she saw my face and apologised then she realised that it was a diary that she would eventually be reading from cover to cover in her role as doctors researcher. “You trying for a baby?” Sandy asked me, I nodded my head, Sandy fanned through the pages, “Not really enough here yet to help but let me look”. Sandy took a paper napkin from the dispenser on the table, she began to work through the pages, making marks on the thin white paper of the napkin as she went along. “You’re ovulating right now, well last night would have been the optimum time, you should have been having sex for the last four days and for the next four days to give you the best chance of conception”. I was more shocked when she pointed out that from the times I had noted intimacy had taken place, it had been squarely in the safe zone for using my menstrual cycle as a form of birth control. Even the slightly unsafe times we had made love had been post-scripted with the fact that the act wasn’t to completion, Harry had either masturbated himself or we had mutually masturbated. “Face it girl, this man isn’t interested in getting you pregnant, and he is good at reading your body for the safest times!” I was more shocked at Sandy's reading of the situation than the situation its self, I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that Harry would have been so calculating, “Is your husband a patient at my place?” Sandy asked, I nodded an affirmative response. “Come on I have the keys still”, we left half-drunk coffee, no loss really, it wasn’t the best coffee in the world anyway.

As we walked towards the doctors surgery sandy asked me why I hadn’t let Tony fuck me, I tried to keep my eyes looking straight ahead, I knew I had begun to blush but if I looked into Sandy’s eyes I would have caught on fire from the heat of my face. “Because I have never had intimacy with anyone but Harry, decent women don’t sleep around!” I said, “Your mother tell you that ‘Prissy’? I wouldn’t have been able to say no, even if he was the worst shag in the world, and believe me, Tony is an eight, that’s a high score for a white guy!” I admitted to myself that I had asked Tony not to have sex with me but deep down I had wished he had taken no notice of my request, not that I would ever tell Sandy that. Sandy had a huge bunch of keys, she unlocked the door to the entrance, there was a loud beeping to warn of the imminent alarm, Sandy typed four digits into a keypad and there was silence. Sandy unlocked a steel shutter door, raised it up above our heads, then pulled it down behind us again. A key to unlock the door into the area behind the receptionists desk, loud beeping again, this time it took a five digit code to silence the alarm. Sandy led me into the file room, she closed the door behind us and turned on the light, the room had no outside windows so the light was essential. It took Sandy’s practised hands a mere few seconds to find the files containing Harry’s and my details, my folder was very thin, “I have six month old babies with more information in their folder than you” Sandy said, there was a red star on the front of Harry’s folder, his filder, unlike mine, was very full. Sandy tapped the star with her finger, “You know what this means?”, “He’s been good!” “No, this means extra money for the doctor, he gets a ‘grand’ extra for your husband than a normal patient!” I gave Sandy a questioning look, “Medical research, your husband gets two thousand, five hundred pounds a year for testing new drugs for a manufacturer, we get the extra grand because of all the extra paper work”. Sandy threw the very thick folder on the table, the first letter from the drugs manufacturer bore the letterhead of the company that Harry worked for, he was working as a senior manager at the same time as testing their new drugs. Sandy’s face dropped a little, “What! What is it?” I asked, “Your husband is testing the male birth control pill!” I sat down with a thump, the wind had definitely been taken from my sails, looking back through the correspondence Harry had been taking part in the trials since before we were married, before he began to work for the company. Sandy quickly plotted a graph of Harry’s sperm level, she concluded that there was still a chance that a few sperm were being produced by Harry but not enough to be medically viable, but then it only takes one lucky sperm to produce a baby. The final set of results had an accompanying letter, the gist of the letter was that after three months of zero sperm production Harry would be entering ‘phase two’ of the trial, an injection of the chemical under the skin of Harry’s forearm. The injection would release the exact ammount of the drug that would keep Harry at zero sperm level for six months at a time. “At least then he won’t be keeping you short after that!” Sandy said, “What does that mean?” I asked her, “The amount of times you and him have intimacy….”, Sandy punctuated the word intimacy with her fingers, using air quotes, god I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “… you would hardly qualify as casual friends. Even old Paul the sad bus driver gets it more often than you do!”. I was totally in a spin now, I couldn’t believe how depressed this information had made me feel. “Mark my words, as soon as he has had the injection he will be knocking at your panties every night!” Sandy said.

We parted at the end of Sandy’s road, she was going to monitor Harry’s file and she would tell me when they had put Harry onto phase two, I would then see if there was any increase in intimacy, my mind filled in the air quotes this time, Sandy had her hands full with the bags she was carrying. I got home a few moments before Harry, he was bright and cheerful when he walked through the door, I just wish I were the same. Harry’s excuse for not kissing me goodbye, “You looked so cute sleeping on the sofa that I didn’t have the heart to wake you!”

That afternoon dragged by very slowly, it felt like I could clean the living room between one tick of the grandfather clock and the next, I would have been able to wash, dry and put away all the pots in the house before the third tick. It is amazing how slow the poison of mistrust works through a body. Bed time came around a year and a half after Harry got home from work, I was quite sleepy, I had definitely not had my full eight hours the night before but that didn’t stop me setting my mind on trying to get Harry to fuck me. I suddenly brightened up a lot, I showered and used the perfume that Harry liked best, I was careful to wash myself between the legs well, the power shower blasting up into me always turned me on and instead of my floor-length night gown I had put on a baby-doll nighty, black, very sheer, the gift that Harry brought himself for the night of our wedding but I had been too shy to actually wear. The bedroom light was out when I walked in, Harry had his back to the door so I dropped the pose I had ‘struck’ as I stood framed in the doorway, I knew that the light coming from behind me would have made the material of my nighty totally transparent. “Dam!” I thought to myself, Harry was already sleeping, I could tell from his breathing pattern, that wasn’t a problem, he always woke as soon as my bottom touched the bed usually if I went to bed after him. I reached my arm over Harry’s shoulder, I kissed the back of his neck and pressed my abdomen against his lower back and pushed forward slightly. Harry’s breathing pattern had changed the instant I touched the bed, I knew that he was actually wide-awake from that second. If things had happened as they usually did he would roll over and kiss me goodnight, but he didn’t move, he was feigning sleep.

My past history had left me with few or no tools in my seduction ‘took box’, I had in the past been totally passive, I had been only too happy for Harry to make all of the sexual running in our relationship. Sometimes I had been ready, geared up for sex, and he had missed the signs, or so I thought at the time. Sandy had given me some literature on the female body, the sort of things that cosmo’ went some of the way to dealing with. Around the time of my ovulation I could expect the hormones in my body to trigger autonomic responses that would make me feel more sexually aroused, more responsive to sexual advances and would give out subtle signals to men that would help them to want me more. Those must have been the signals that Harry was using to stop himself from trying to have sex with me, well he was trying very hard now, I was rubbing myself against his buttocks so hard now that I was surprised that I hadn’t pushed him out of the other side of the bed. It was only ten thirty; I had made myself even hornier than I was the night before, and the way time was running at the moment it would take around seven years for the dawn to break.

Eleven-thirty, did you know that the grandfather clock in the hallway down stairs ticked seven thousand two hundred times in an hour? I had thought that it should have been only three thousand six hundred but it must tick on both the capture and the release of the ‘pawl and ratchet’ that controlled the speed that the weight fell in the casement. I had told myself that during the next hour I would try and see if I could distinguish between the two, see if there was a difference. “This is ridiculous, I cant lie here counting the clock ticking all night”, I told myself, eleven thirty two, I decided to get up, see if there was anything on TV. Went into the kitchen, I had a half pint of milk left, if I had a little more I could do myself a drink of hot chocolate, I told myself that a half pint was more than enough for hot chocolate then I told myself to shut up, what the hell did I know anyway, I couldn’t even spot when a man was avoiding trying to make me pregnant. I checked the garden, it was early summer, I wondered if the hedge-hog that often called in the autumn would be around looking for milk so I put out a saucer full of milk just in case. Eleven thirty three, I have a quarter of a pint of milk, if I had a little more I could make myself a cup of hot chocolate, hot chocolate might help me sleep, I could pop down to the ‘Tesco 24 hr’ store and buy a pint or two of milk, and some hot chocolate powder, after all I never kept it in as it was far to fattening. I pulled my mackintosh on over my nighty and picked up my bag. It wasn’t far to the twenty-four hour store but if I drove there I could pick up something else if I saw it, something that I may not be able to carry if I walk there. I closed the front door as quietly as I could, I didn’t close my car door to avoid disturbing Harry, I let the hand-break off and allowed the car to roll down the drive and onto the road. I could have closed my door then and start the engine without waking Harry if he had been asleep but I decided to allow the car to roll further down the hill before closing the door and starting the engine, just in case he was still awake.

As the engine burst into life the fan heater fired a blast of cool night air at my legs, it found it’s way up under the bottom of my coat, reminding me that I was almost naked under my coat, just the sheer netting of my baby-doll nighty. I noticed that I was almost opposite the road leading to Bestwood Country Park, I could use that road to turn around in, after all the shop was up the hill and I had rolled down the hill, “Liar, the ‘Tesco 24’ is at the bottom of the hill”, “I changed my mind, I’m going to ….. er….. Asda, I don’t like the milk at Tesco’s!”

I drove the hundred yards or so along the front of the houses, I knew most of the women that lived in those houses, they were the ones that were always organising the petitions to close the car park. I was at the end of the lane leading to the car park now, I could just make out the entrance in the darkness. I switched to sidelights and turned right, into the lane leading to the car park entrance. I crawled along as slowly as the car would go, I was giving the voice inside my head plenty of time to convince the second voice that hot chocolate was far more preferable than driving into an unlit car park at eleven fifty at night.

The car park was empty, as I drove in there wasn’t a single car in any of the little bays around the outside edge of the car park. I drove two complete circles around, “OK, see, nothing here for you, now lets be good and fetch a bottle of milk and maybe I’ll treat you to a bar of fruit and nut, I’m sure that you’ll like that more than sex anyway!” I pulled the car into an empty bay; I had subconsciously chosen it because it was right next to the footpath leading back to the road opposite my house. I made sure my door was locked, turned the engine off, I was going to leave the side lights on but as soon as I turned the key the lights went off on their own, “I didn’t realise they did that, I had always been so careful to turn off the lights before I turned off the engine, just to save the battery, I laughed to myself a little. I noticed a shadow in the distance, something was moving between me and the light cast by what moonlight there was. I saw the shadow move once again, it certainly looked like a man, probably dressed in black. I remembered that the three cars that I had seen were all the same, they all had their interior lights on, I fumbled with the switch on the inside light, my heart was pounding in my chest, it was difficult to breath, my hand was shaking so much that it was hard to make the light work.

It wasn’t a blinding flash of light but it did make me flinch, the outside world suddenly disappeared from view as the light inside the car turned off the darkness outside. It took only seconds for a face to appear at the window to my right. I half recognised the guy, I thought he was the man I had seen after watching Carol and the bus driver fuck. I was sitting there in my seat, hands gripping the steering wheel at ten and two, face, straight ahead, it was my peripheral vision that had picked up the movement as the guy’s face was illuminated by the light from my car. I heard two taps on the glass, wound down the window a fraction of an inch. I had almost swivelled my eyes out of their sockets to be able to see the man without moving my head, I watched as his mouth came into contaxt with the glass, “Drive to the other end of the car park, as far away from the houses as you can and reverse in against the bush”. The automaton in me started the car, drove slowly across the car park with out lights, I hadn’t even turned off the interior light which made it doubly difficult to negotiate the car park. I did however recognise when I passed the entrance to the car park, “Just swing the steering wheel to the left, turn on the headlights and gun the engine, you can be sitting in home sipping hot chocolate in less that fifteen minutes!” It took all of my strength to not turn the steering wheel to the left, I had slowed down even further as I got to the entrance, I actually stopped for what seemed like an age. Eventually I found the last bay, I realised that the guy wanted me to reverse into the bay so that he would be facing the car park entrance while he was at my side.

It took a few seconds for the man to catch up to me, my window was still open a crack, “Open you coat”, my hands were still glued to the steering wheel, I was still sitting with my head fixed ahead, I was trying to work out how to open my coat without releasing my grip on my steering wheel. “Open your coat!” I managed to prise one hand off of the wheel, and began to t try to open the top button, my hand was shaking so much I could have supplied McDonalds with their triple thick shakes for a month. Eventually I opened three buttons and the guy looking through my window could see that all I had on was a thin nightdress, I realised that he could see most of my breasts through the flimsy material. “Untie the belt and push your seat back”, I now had to let go of the steering wheel with both hands, not for the mackintosh’s belt but sliding the seat back in a Vauxhall Corsa is definitely a two handed job. I had also stopped looking straight ahead, I was now looking at the lower half of the man, he was bent over to look through my window but I could see that he had his member in his hand and he was pulling the foreskin back to expose his mushroom shaped cock-head and then allowing elasticity to take the skin back. “Open the last button”, I was worried by that, the last button would reveal all of my charms, show the guy my tangled bush beneath my baby-doll. “Open your coat”, my fingers were at the last button, I wasn’t sure if I could go through with what I had started, I was listening carefully for my sensible, inner voice to offer it’s advice. I didn’t really need to hear it, I knew that it would be telling me to, “Turn the light off, start the engine and get the fuck out of here”. “OPEN YOU COAT!” My audience was getting slightly bored I felt with my inaction on the coat opening front, just at the moment when my ‘conscience superego’ had popped out for a double latté. “You’re here for a reason my girl”, shit, what a time for my ‘id’ to poke her nose in, while I usually get diametrically opposite advice from my ‘conscience superego’, my own personal internal devil and angel and I got to chose which one to listen to, my ‘id’ is a different kettle of ‘watsanames’, my ‘id’ is biologically driven, only one option offered, “Dam why am I so weak!”

My coat was now open, totally and completely, my watcher was taking his time drinking in the sight, “Take your coat all the way off”, I had nothing to lose now, I was to all intense, nude anyway, the negligee wasn’t designed for its covering ability after all. It was a bit of a struggle to get my coat off, “Throw it in the back”, I did. “Recline your seat”, I wanted to say how far but I had never reclined the seats before and had no idea where to find the mechanism to make the seat recline, there was a short lever to my right, I pulled it and the seat fell all the way down, the spring mechanism was obviously faulty and probably explained why the sales-man had omitted to mention how to adjust the seat. “So here I am, exposed to a stranger, lying almost flat out in my car with it’s light on, am I now officially a tramp? Or is it a tart? Something I could check out on the Internet tomorrow!” “Wind the window down a bit more”, “No!” The face was gone, I struggled up enough to se out of the window, there was no one in sight, my sense of deflation was enormous, I couldn’t believe just how exciting it had been to sit there and take instructions from a total stranger and how empty I felt now that he had gone.

I noticed a car had pulled into the other end of the car park, I could just make out that there were two people in the car, the interior light was on and I could see a gap in the illumination that I took to be my voyeur. I had now officially been rejected by a pervert, you have no idea just how that makes a woman feel. I was struggling to get the seat back upright, it was just a guess but I would have needed to be a double jointed octopus to raise the seat without first leaving the car, there was at least one reason why I didn’t want to get out of the car just to lift my seat back up. I heard the engine of the other car suddenly fire up, it took off from the car park with it’s front wheels throwing cinders into the air, I had a little inward smile as a made out the shadowy figure of my pervert making his way back to my side.

“Are you going to open your window more?” I turned the window winder one circle in response, that made my window lower by an inch, I watched as my voyeur opened his trousers again and began to revive his flaccid cock, he was gently stroking himself into life, I watched as his cock grew from three inches and thin to around seven inches and extremely thick. “Take off the bottom of your nighty”, I checked, ‘conscience superego’ still away on her latte break. I lifted my bottom and slid my baby-doll’s bottoms down. “Now take off your top”, again it was a little struggle but I managed to remove my top and was now totally nude in my car, the window was cracked open an inch and a half and the cool night air was making my nipples respond more than they had ever responded in my life before, well I will blame the cold anyway. “Open your window more”, I now had to weigh up my options, last time I said no the guy pissed off, and if I said no again he night not come back, I knew that I was so absolutely turned on right then that I would have had sex with a dog to get my relief. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to go further with this guy but, just at that moment, I wanted something, Harry wasn’t going to ‘pleasure’ me, I knew I could ‘pleasure’ myself but this was almost the most exciting experience I had been through in my life to date, well, not counting twenty four hours earlier, that was pretty exciting. I turned the handle on my window another full circle; the window was now open two and a half inches. “Open your legs”, I did as I was told, “Wider!” I opened them wider. “Finger yourself” I began to masturbate myself, I knew that the man could have just about reached in and touched me if he had wanted to but he kept his distance. I wasn’t particularly good at fucking myself, as a young woman I had never done anything like that and it was usually Harry’s job to do it if I needed it after we married, I was trying to copy what Harry had done to me in the past but I was making a total pig’s ear of it, a little voice popped into my head, “Why not ask the guy to swap, you know how to make a man come, and I’ll bet he knows a dam site more than you do about frigging a woman”, bloody fine time to come off of your coffee break I thought to my ‘conscience superego’. “Open your window more”, I knew that he could have reached through the last time I opened it more so I just took it all the way down, the cool air made me shiver. I stiffened up as the guy stepped closer and his head came through the opening in my door. He pushed my hand away from my vagina, lifted my right knee and moved my foot so that my heel was hooked over the edge of my seat, then he tapped my left leg and pointed upwards, I knew instinctively that he wanted me to copy the position of my right leg with my left leg. The only time I had ever been that open before was when I had my first ever internal examination just after my twenty-fifth birthday, and I only had that because my mother had some abnormal cells from a cervical smear test. I watched as the man put a latex glove on one hand, he reached in and began to work his fingers into my body, I went into orbit with the first pass of his finger over my clitoris, and from that moment I was lost. Harry had never done anything like that to me in all the time we had been lovers, I was taken on a magical tour of my inner workings, I was given a really nice clitoral orgasm, followed bt a deep stimulation of my ‘G’ spot in the roof of my virginal cavity, then after I had landed back on earth he massaged the opening to my urethra, it felt like he was actually able to force his finger into the entrance to the pipe leading from my bladder. I managed to spot the clock when the man first touched me, it was twelve forty five when he first touched me and now it was past two o’clock in the morning. I was totally covered in sweat, I had never climaxed so much in all of my life before and then the door popped open, I froze once again as the man pulled me around, he took my right leg and as he crouched down between my legs he placed my right foot on to his left shoulder. If he tried to fuck me I would have to say no, I wouldn’t want to but there was no way I could let him actually fuck me. He was getting into a good position, he pushed my left foot onto the dashboard, I was almost doing the splits, it had gone way past the point of comfort. But as soon as his fingers snaked their way into my love tunnel I would have agreed to anything, this time he passed my clitoris by, passed my urethra, straight passed that magical ‘G’ spot, he was searching out my cervix, I could feel him almost measuring my cervix, he had pushed his fingers around the neck of my womb, he was actually massaging the protuberance that was my cervix, I opened my eyes and strained to look at the junction between his hand and my vagina, I noticed that there was a ring of lubricant around his glove and that he had four fingers buried deep inside of me and he was gently working his fingers on all sides of my cervix, he was increasing the pressure slightly and then I felt his little finger move slightly, it was at the opening to my womb and he was pushing hard against the muscle holding the mouth closed, I felt a blinding pain and a small pop, he had the tip of his little finger inside my cervix. The subtle movements of his fingers as he tried to encourage his finger deeper drove me over into the most violent of orgasmic spasms, I had never had a baby before but I could only imagine that the pleasure / pain that I was feeling must have been like the beginnings of birth contractions.

I was empty, the guy had been finger fucking me for almost three hours, he had taken me further along the climax ‘super highway’ than I had ever been before and now he had stepped back, he was standing upright, masturbating himself, the latex glove was on the floor of my car and the first string of white, milky cum was floating through the air, in the direction of my stomach and chest. I had never had a man stand over me and masturbate over me, I had felt that it should have felt degrading but he had given me such pleasure that I couldn’t deny him that pleasure if that was what he wanted, the second string of his cum flew over my right breast and chin, the third and forth on my stomach and the fifth in the well caused by my upper thigh and pubic mound, and then he was gone, retreating into the darkness. I eased myself out of my car, I was totally nude, standing in a public car park, I didn’t care, it didn’t even bother me to see that during my ‘pleasure fest’ a car had pulled up next to my car, close enough for the couple sitting in it to watch every gasp of my climax, their interior light was off so I couldn’t actually see their faces but that didn’t matter to me, I even considered walking around my car so that they could get a better view of my magnificent body.

I simply adjusted my seat to its upright position and pulled my mackintosh on and stuffed my baby-doll under my seat. “OK, lets go get milk” the voice in my head said, I asked if it was my angel or my devil that had spoken to me but she didn’t say.