Touch the glowing spheres around the dragon!
Touch the glowing spheres around the dragon!

So Far...

Life still goes on, even though I feel a desperate need to jump off. Tears still fall down like light rain in the middle of the night. The need to purge the past still echoes through the stone walls in my soul. I still can't tell my husband every dark secret of my past, my pain, my guilts & betrayals. Children are still one thing I cannot give my lover... Laughter is something I still haven't the hang of yet. Trust is still much like the mystical Grail: elusive. I still enjoy rare quiet moments when everything just stops in time. I still thank Goddess that I am loved, cherished & married. My husband still worships my body, heart, mind & soul through all the scars visible & invisible. I'm still here - so far...

Wake Up

Wake up, fairy tale princess! The story’s over. You really thought there would be a perfect ending, didn’t you? Poor thing. Yeah, you were the classic damsel in distress who always needed to be rescued (or is it excused) from one crisis or another. Sure, there was always a dashing daring prince just waiting in the wings for a grand entrance. But you were never aware of what laid between the pages or behind the cover. You as Snow White, Cinderella, Rapunzel, Sleeping Beauty who remained the same despite the name... Trying to reinvent yourself to keep his interest. When did your castle in the sky start crumbling? How long was it before he starting calling out names in his sleep - Ariel, Jasmine, Odette, Mulan? Did you learn the name of Prince Charming before or after "I do"? Did he stay true to his persona when the book closed, after the credits, when the children all drifted off to sleep? When did word of his latest conquest & upcoming marriage arrive with the separation notice? How was your ever after, hmm?

The Urge

It gets so hard not to give in to it... Calling to me with a perfect edge to a gleaming smile. Denying the craving of that smooth bite that seems to free me. Wanting to dance right on the sharp tip without the fear of drawing blood... Which is what I desire to do. To cut, bleed, release the poison that is in my system called anger, shame, frustration, nameless. Yearning to draw perfect lines on an imperfect body. Almost needing to feel a physical pain to match the emotional pain hidden deep within. Not even intense pleasure seems to dull this desperate urge. A waterfall of tears cannot wash away this despairing urge. Cleansing love & desire from my husband heals & calms this distraught, sorrowful urge. He is my ultimate urge that I will always gladly give into with my mind, heart, body & soul at the end of the day.

Golden Love

Golden lovers blended so perfectly, impossible to tell where one ends & the other begins. Sensual sleekness paired to sexual suppleness. He is enraptured and enamored of her; she treasures his fierce desire and love unmatched. They are intimate with an intensity that is powerfully beautiful. Their love is seductive and compelling when she invites him to be possessed of and by her. Sliding slowly, silky skin to touch in a passionate embrace. Trust and honor in harmony with faith and respect can create a heavenly haven. Completely mated... contented pleasure... two essences intertwined until one. Gliding through time and place, theirs is a perfectly golden love.

Continue...

Writings 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9 , 10 , 11

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