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Eric Bicknell

17 April 2000

Come unto me

Gay/Lesbian inclusion in the Church

The issue of homosexuality has been debated in the church for many years, however not as much as it has been in the last 30. During the last 30 years gays and lesbians have left mainline Christian churches, seeking God in Christian denominations that welcome and affirm their sexuality, or leaving Christianity for other religions while others have given up on searching for God at all.

With the debate on homosexuality within the church going full-force, Churches are grappling with issues such as how gays and lesbians fit into the church, where they can serve, and if non-celibate gays and lesbians can be ordained for ministry. While the church debates the issue, gays and lesbians, along with those who love and support them, are trying to find a place in the traditional church. No matter what side of the homosexuality debate you take, as Christians, we are called to love each other. This love must be found in how we react to everyone we come into contact with, even the homosexual.

No matter what the church you are involved in says, the way you personally treat gays and lesbians, and your personal feelings toward them are exactly that, your feelings. Once you as a Christian have made the decision to accept or reject homosexual persons, it is your responsibility to take that decision and, in Christ’s love, act upon it.

Based on their interpretations of certain passages of scripture, Church traditionalists have often stated that the acceptance of gays and lesbians as full members of the church is not scriptural. Those on the pro-gay side of the debate also interpret the same scriptures, finding in them the idea that homosexual people are bound by the same scriptural commands as heterosexuals. It is an interesting debate that will take a very long time to resolve.

The issue of homosexuality and how to deal with it is an issue that has divided some denominations to the point where they have a difficult time maintaining some sort of cohesion. Some pastors and leaders have acted as their consciences dictate on these matters, even to the point of braking church laws. One Methodist minister, who performed a same gender union, was convicted of violating church disciple, which cost him his career.

While the debate over homosexuality wages, some denominations are grappling with the idea of ordaining non-celibate gay and lesbian clergy. This sideline issue drives a wedge deeper into the debate, making the gap between the pro and anti gay sides even wider. The issues surrounding the topic of homosexuality are varied. There are many issues that need to be considered such as: How should we look at the scriptures? What do they say? If we can find reason to fully accept gays and lesbians, how should such acceptance take shape? Do we recognize their unions? Do we need to take a place at their side in their fight for justice and equality?

The questions are complex, the answers may be difficult to accept, and there is no easy way to put the policies that come as a result of these answers into practice. If one takes the anti-gay side, they must deal with the pro-gay side who, sometimes see them as rigid or unwilling to listen to what they say. The same is true for someone taking pro-gay side, who must deal with those who see their argument as a violation of church tradition and a blatant misuse of scripture to justify the actions of those they see as non-repentant sinners. The argument continues, it does not go away. One side will always find a way to refute the other.

The issue of homosexuality has so divided some denominations that movements have formed within them in an attempt to ‘maintain the faith’ and keep a ‘traditional’ interpretation of scripture as the standard. ‘Good News’ is one such movement. This group formed by members of the United Methodist Church, has written letters of encouragement to the bishops of their denomination encouraging them to allow congregations and clergy who do not conform to the ‘traditional’ church stance on homosexuality the opportunity to leave the denomination. While this does not sound too unreasonable or sound too extreme, the extremity of their position is heard in the phrase ‘without financial liability’ ("’Good News’ Backs Efforts to Change Gays’ 220).

Clergy and individuals from congregations leave churches all the time, however congregations hardly ever disassociate themselves from their denomination. Normally, when they do so, they pay fines, or are forced to forfeit church funds and properties to the denomination. When this is taken into consideration, it shows the determination that groups like ‘Good News’ have in expelling homosexuals, and those who support them from their denominations.

The ‘flip side’ of this coin is seen in the groups that form within denominations that actively seek to make the church a safe haven for all of God’s children, even homosexuals and those who love and support them. These ministries are found in mainline denominations such as the Presbyterian Church (USA), American Baptists, The United Methodist, Episcopal and Lutheran Churches. The United Church of Christ’s ‘Open and Affirming’ Congregation program is, like those in other denominations, a program where local congregations voluntarily sign a declaration that affirms their commitment to make their church open to all people, including homosexuals.

The Reconciling Congregation Program of the United Methodist Church sees gay and lesbian inclusion in the church as part of being reconciled, as Paul put it, ‘one to another’, just as God, through Jesus Christ, has reconciled us to Him. Their gay-positive stance is not based on an interpretation of the scriptures regarding homosexuality, but on those scriptures that refer to the reconciliation we find in Christ, and Paul’s encouragement that we be reconciled to one another.

Here the focus is not on condemnation or justification of homosexuality, but on the idea that all those who claim to be Christians, and thus children of God, come together as one body to do the work God has called the church to do. Their mission is … ‘to affirm the full participation of all persons in their community life’… and they claim that ‘Such an understanding of reconciliation is grounded in the roots of our faith tradition – the New Testament’ (Webber 40).

It is interesting to note that while one group from a denomination seeks to exclude homosexuals, another group in the same denomination has seen gay and lesbian inclusion as part of fulfilling the church’s calling. Both sides make their arguments based on what certain passages of scripture say. Even though the scriptures they use may be on differing topics, they are used to guide churches as they seek to minister to gays and lesbians. With the negative attitudes of groups like ‘Good News’, it is safe to say that one of the possible end results could be a further fragmentation of denominations, and the body of Christ known as the church.

Trying to find some sort of ‘neutral’ ground to begin the discussion on gay and lesbian inclusion in the church can be just as difficult as the discussion itself. Mishandling the discussion can lead to tragedy. The highest level of conflict, according to Dudley and Halverstadt is ‘an emotional condition where one side wants to destroy the other’ (Dudley and Halvrstadt 236). Some pastors have forgone the whole process of discussion by simply telling the congregation that the church will begin to include homosexuals. While this idea heads off any situation that could be described as ‘kill the enemy’, it causes problems between the pastor and congregation.

According to Dudley and Halverstedt, ‘Until church members, gay and straight, deal with their own gut feelings, they will not be able to use their heads about homosexuality’ (236). This places some of the responsibility of research on the individual. This allows them, without the influence of denomination or pastor, to come to their own conclusion on the issue of homosexuality. Through their research, they may see both sides of the debate in a different light, thus making the discussion more informed, and hopefully, less inflammatory for both sides.

Dudley and Halverstedt also give three steps that can be taken by congregational leadership as they prepare to discuss gay and lesbian inclusion in their church. These are: ‘1) leaders can focus more on living their faith than on abstract arguments. 2) They can tell stories rather than argue. … 3) Pastors and church leaders at all levels can focus more on being trusted as persons … Then leaders can guide an assembly in making faith the ground for determining its position. And the Holy Spirit may still work unexpected miracles’ (237). This model for diffusing difficult issues can be used, not just for the discussion of gay and lesbian inclusion in the church, but also for the discussion of homosexuality in general, or any other topic.

We have seen the effect that the debate over gay and lesbian inclusion in the church has had in one denomination. We have also seen ways that we can discuss this topic in a calm, cool and collected manner. We can see the importance of the discussion in general, but what about in our own churches? Most likely, the need for the discussion of gay and lesbian inclusion in the church is not something your church has had to deal with. However, the way we deal with homosexuality can have an effect on homosexual members of our own congregation, as well as an effect in the communities our churches seek to reach.

Some gay men and lesbians who grew up in Christian churches have left them in favor of churches that take a gay-positive stance, or have left Christianity for other, more tolerant, forms of spirituality, or give up their search for God. Regardless of how we, as individuals or our churches look at the issue of homosexuality, and their inclusion in the church, we must show the love of God in how we deal with them. We must be aware that how we treat homosexuals will help them decide whether or not they seek Christ, some other religion, or give up on seeking God altogether.

Seeking a safe haven is a difficult task for homosexuals. The churches they grew up in may be unwilling to allow them full membership, and deny them the ability to use their talents in ministry in the church. Sometimes they seek a gay-based denomination such as the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, or a gay affirming denomination like the United Church of Christ.

For those gays and lesbians in areas where there is no gay based or affirming church, there is little opportunity to find a place of worship, unless they are willing to hide. Pretending to be heterosexual is not only difficult at times, but it is also putting on a false face, being dishonest about ones self. Christianity places a lot of weight in the idea that we should be truthful, not just with those we love, but with everyone, and especially God. Forcing homosexuals ‘into the closet’ makes them live a lie, and causes them to go to church to worship, not in spirit and truth, but in a lie that will gain them acceptance in the congregation.

How our churches view and deal with homosexuality has an affect, not only on homosexuals that find themselves in our congregations, but also those in the communities our churches minister in. The stance that a Christian individual, a church, or denomination takes on the issue of homosexuality can, in an indirect way, not only gives gays and lesbians an excuse to leave Christianity, but also provide someone with an excuse for acting violently towards gays and lesbians.

Gay rights advocates sometimes list the church’s attitude toward homosexuality as a contributing factor to hate crimes perpetrated against them. With examples like Rev. Fred Phelps who pickets the funerals of AIDS victims and homosexuals with signs that read ‘God hates fags,’ and ‘fags burn in hell,’ some people might be inclined to agree with that idea. Certainly, to some extent, Christian attitudes towards homosexuality have helped shaped how society in general reacts to homosexuals.

While some extremists seek to proclaim God’s message of hatred to homosexuals, others like Jerry Falwell, maintaining his ‘traditional’ view of homosexuality, stated that ‘If we are to have a real Christian witness to millions of gay and lesbian people … we need to choose our language carefully’ (Cloud). This shows that some prominent leaders of Christianity are beginning to realize that the words they use can be twisted into a call for violence against gays and lesbians.

Christian leaders have been so busy debating the issue of homosexuality and the inclusion of homosexuals in the church that ‘gay and lesbian people have been left to defend themselves against those who twist Christian’s statements or silence into a crusade against homosexuals’ (Gallegos 9). After the cruel beating death of Matthew Shepherd, a cry went up from gay activists across the country calling for tougher hate crime legislation. What does this mean for the Christian church? Are we so busy trying to decide whether or not someone is worthy or acceptable to us that the very people we are debating over are being neglected and murdered? It almost seems like the church is too caught up in trying to maintain some sort of ‘status quo,’ or too afraid to admit they have made a mistake in their interpretations of scripture. Either way, the ones the argument is about are still on the margins, not only of the church, but society as well, and are still left to fend for themselves without the benefit of any support from the church in their fight for justice.

Some gays and lesbians feel that they are outcasts. Looking for some sort of encouragement, they search the scriptures to find some type of support. They look in the stories of Jonathan and David, and Ruth and Naomi for some glimpse of a role model. Some have seen a role model, not in the two examples mentioned, but in the plight of the eunuchs.

In his article ‘Eunuchs: Outcasts of the Bible,’ James Anderson talks about a group of people we hear very little about in Christian churches today. Drawing on scripture dealing with eunuchs, he compares the plight of these men with the plight of gays and lesbians in the church today.

Centering his commentary on the story of the Ethiopian eunuch found in Acts, Anderson comments that ‘Deuteronomy forbids baptism, but Philip baptizes him anyway’ (Anderson 53). By doing this, he believes that Philip’s actions under the direction of the Holy Spirit show that like the eunuchs of the bible, gays and lesbians today are worthy of being part of the Christian church, and not worthy of the rejection that so many have suffered under its ministry.

Jeffrey Siker compares the plight of gays and lesbians to the plight of early gentile Christians in what was a predominantly Jewish Christian church. He sees the reaction of Jewish Christians towards their gentile brothers and sisters as a direct correlation to today’s debate over homosexuality. He talks about how the Jewish Christians believed that the gentiles had to 'repent of being gentile,' which is, to us today, a ridiculous notion, but in Biblical times, was a very serious matter. Jewish Christians were told by both Peter and Paul that the gentiles had not only received the Holy Spirit, but had been given the Spirit without upholding the Jewish law. (230)

The debate lingers on. Gays and lesbians still wait outside the doors of our churches. Justice is still not found. Christians are still trying to decide what they should do. Some have firmly decided to reject, some have firmly decided to accept. Some have even decided that they just don’t know what they should do. These are the people in the middle, the ones who are caught between their church’s policy regarding homosexuality, and their homosexual friends, or family.

On the one hand, they want to maintain their beliefs, and remain in their churches. On the other, they want to be loving and supportive of their gay and lesbian friends and family. One woman told her gay son that his homosexuality was not something she liked in him. While he has no doubt that his mother loves him, it hurts him to think that there is a part of him that she will never love, or fully accept. What does a family member do in such a situation?

Sometimes, love and support come in the form of a family member taking a stand on gay and lesbian rights issues, even to the point where they defy their church’s teachings on the subject, and subsequently leave the church. One mother ‘chose the love I have for my gay son over love for the Catholic church’ (Golojuch 57). Carolyn Martinez Golojuch saw choosing her son as part of her duty to her family. She says; ‘If I had sacrificed him and my love for him, I would have destroyed the very fiber of our family’ (Golojuch 57). This shows that the debate over homosexuality sometimes leads people to believe that they must give up their homosexual children in favor of the church’s teaching on the subject. It should also be noted that some parents have, based on their church’s policy regarding homosexuals, sent their children to repairative therapy that in some cases has included treatments such as electric shock.

With all the discussion about homosexuality, and the idea of gay and lesbian inclusion in the church, it is very easy for someone to get lost very quickly. It seems like no matter which way the discussion goes; it quickly changes course on some sideline issue or topic that seems just as pressing. So many questions: so many arguments, it’s enough to make a person dizzy.

You see; the discussion about gay and lesbian inclusion in the church is one that sometimes seems like a hurricane. So many people have so many different views. Everyone sees the issue from a specific angle, and it’s just very difficult to get all the arguments to go in the same direction.

So what does all this mean? Jesus once said ‘Come to me all that are heavy laden and I will give you rest.’ Today there is a group of people who are seeking the rest that Christ can give, only to find His followers uninterested in helping them find it, or requiring that they change in order to receive it. The words of Jesus that bring comfort and peace are being lost in a debate over whether or not the homosexuals he has called to himself are worthy to be part of the family of God.

The question of gay and lesbian inclusion in the church is not a question of gay and lesbian inclusion in the church, but a question of how we, as Christians, share God’s love with a group of people we may not accept or agree with. It is also a question of how far we are willing to go in order to proclaim God’s love. Are we willing to allow the Holy Spirit to lead us to accept a group of people who we might personally see as unacceptable? Are we willing to allow them the same opportunity to worship and minister? Are we willing to stand with them and demand their equal rights under our nation’s laws? Just how far are we willing to go?

Jesus went to the cross so that all may be saved. Is our going beyond our prejudice too far to go to reach those he has called us to love? I wonder….

Works Cited

Anderson, James D. "Eunuchs: Outcasts of Biblical Times." Gay Theological Journal. 1.3 (1998) 53

Cloud, John. "An End to the Hatred." Time Magazine 1 November 1999: 154.18. 14 April 2000

<http:www.time.com/time/magazine/articles/0,3266,33115,00.html>

Dudley, Carl S. and H.F. Halverstadt "Explosive Issues" Christian Century 116 (1999): 236-7

Gallegos, Aaron M. "Practicing What We Preach" Sojourners January/February 1999: 9-10

Gibson David "Gay Ministry Seeks to Repeat Success" Gay Theological Journal 1.3 (1998) 62-3

"Good News Backs Efforts to Change Gays" Christian Century 116 (1999) 241-2

Siker, Jeffrey S. "How to Decide? Homosexual Christians, the Bible, and Gentile Inclusion"

Theology Today 51.2 (1994): 219-34

Webber, Joseph C. "A Biblical Basis for Reconciling Ministries" Gay Theological Journal 1.3

(1998): 40-1