Once upon a time, deep in the Ghetto, there was a boy named Chuck. He loved comic books, his favorite was "King Dork & Junk boy". Chuck's only problem was that he was a street bum in the ghetto, meaning the only comic books he could read were the ones people threw away, or the japanese porn comics that some dirty old man threw out the window. Once after a long day of shineing shoes for the corner pimps, he came home to his cardboard box. He had just eaten some bad chicken he had found out behind Rufus's the local soul food diner. As he felt his stomach collapseing on itself he passed out. There he started dreaming. At first his dreams were strange and greaty resembeled a bad trip. But after a while they became coherent and very real. He awoke to find himself in a place he had never seen before. It was nothing like the hood that he had grown up in. No pimps, no cars resting on cinder blocks. This place seemed very strange to Chuck. He had herd storys about places like this, but this scared him none the less. Where he had awaken was a forrest with huge trees and animals. This also scared him because the only animals he had ever seen were rats and rockwilers, or they had already been cooked by Rufus. He saw a beaten path and decided to follow the trail. On the trail he came to a park bench. There, was a guy siting on it holding a box of chocolates. The guy seemed normal except that he was not wearing any pants. Chuck was very tired and decided to sit down next to this pantsless wonder. The guy said "My name is Tim, people call me Tim." Deciding that his new friend should cover up his wang with more than a box of chocolates, he gave him one of his 3 pairs of pants.(Remember children, its damn cold in the ghetto.) After chatting for a while, the 2 new friends wandered down the trail to the edge of the woods and found a large, beautiful city. The name of the city was Morningwood, Arizona, but thats not important now. They walked into the first building that they saw, a Bar named "Dangler's where they met the hot redhed Bartender named "The Seductive One." They told her that they were lost and they didnt know what to do. She told them that when her shift ended she would help them find their way home. That was cool with them. As they sat in the bar they couldnt help but notice the strange amount of Village People and Elton John music being played. They then noticed that The Seductive One was the only chick in the whole place. When they realized that they were definately in a place that they should not be, they ran out the door and started off twords the center of town. They walked through the city until they were confronted by a street gang gang of 20 thugs. Many of which were at the bar. The fairys... i mean thugs circled the 2 with only one thing on their mind. Luckaly a short masked man with a cape and a J on his chest, swung into action and beat the hell out of the leather and mustache-clad gang, literally saving their asses. Tim was clueless, but Chuck knew right away who their masked savior was. It was JunkBoy, the sidekick from his favorite comic book. He understood the the problem the guys were haveing and sent them down the street to his friend Poppet a local police officer. She offred them some donuts and said she would like to help them find Chuck a way home and to help Tim find his sanity. But couldn't because she had go and arrest some skanky hookers. But she did tell them of a person who could help them, his name was the Grand Lizzard. He lived in the dirty midget part of town. As they walked down the mean streets of Midgetville, they were suddenly surrounded by evil Little people. As the little bastards moved in for the kill, The Seductive One, who had been following them fought off the midgets kicking them in the head with her black high heeled boots. She told the two that she just wanted help them find their homes and their sanity, and maybe even ask the Grand Lizzard for a loan so she could stop working at the Homo bar and go back to collage. So the three walked until they reached the Grand Lizzard's split level condo, that had a Cadailac parked in the driveway. They rang the door bell entered. There they met a tall man with an afro wearing a green robe, an eyepatch, and more gold than Mr. T. This was definatly the Grand Lizzard. He was the most powerfull man in Morningwood. The Seductive One was the first to speak asking for a collage loan. He thought that she was hot so he granted her the money. Next was Tim, asking for his sanity back. The Grand Lizzard reached under his couch and grabbed a bottle of funky pills and told Tim that they might not bring his sanity back, but at least he would be as high as a kite. Last was Chuck who asked to go back to his home in the ghetto. The Grand Lizzard said no, but since he had no children and a skank wife he would adopt him as his son. Chuck said ok. Just then The Grand Lizzard's ugly, mean, bitch, skank wife came in from the kitchen and started to hug chuck. The only problem was that she weighted 500 Lbs. and her flab started to choke him out. With airflow being cut off he blacked out. When he awoke, he was home in his cardboard box, in the ghetto, realizing that it was only a dream.... ...or was it? THE END The Grand Lizzard of Morningwood