Al has missed lgb meetings . . . The incidents occured during the exam period when several meetings were missed in a row. It is reported that the president is not at all worried as he can't be bothered to go to them either (something to do with voyager remarked Piers!).

. . . and in local news it has been revealed that Steven (a previously respected member of the lgb) has a thing for lesbians. This comes at a time when his rep is on the line. The incredible notion is now irrefutable as witnesses have heard him say "I want to touch up lesbians". More to come . . .

Also just in . . . Debbie has lovely breasts. It has been a while coming, but recent observations and investigations have, in fact, confirmed this. Mark seconds the proposals to make it an fact almost (but not quite) worthy of being noted in the lgb committee meeting minutes.

Phil pulls a FEMALE on walk home from the edge . . . Phil claims that the whole sordid affair is not what everyone thinks. Insiders have since revealed that it most certainly is!

Piers interupts lecture with amazing news . . . Last night at the lgb meeting an informative and interesting lecture was being given by Mark (GCHS). Piers haphazardly wandered in and remarked to all the patent number of the hand drier from the toilets. Some say he was drunk, some say on drugs, but most say he was being surpisingly himself that day. Hmmmmmm.

Slap'n'tickle . . . Our very own man 'inside' (and in the edge) Simon was involved in a slap and tickle session with Piers. Right there and right then in front of all -the shame of it! twice!

No gossip on Al . . . Ahh but is there? 1) the incident with the mascara -what was going on there then! 2) claims of having being involved in the f***ing of 15 women. Conclusion - HETROSEXUAL. (gasp!)

Internet sex -the whole dastardly story . . . Two members of the lgb have confessed to their continual internet propmted sexual escapades. Here at EddnPaul.com we believe this is only the tip of the iceberg. The first confession was shrouded in secrecy and involves Gareth meeting someone else called Gareth -not alot is known about details but we'll get back to you soon. The second is the bizarre revelation that Tom also knows this person called Gareth and has reason to be considered aquainted -again not alot is actaully known, however the word THREESOME comes to mind.

On Sunday 25th February . . . Phil had a parking ticket whilst parked in a car park frequented by HOMOSEXUALS. He believes he was targeted for this very reason. Photos to follow shortly.