Part One 

***** 
 

Xander never saw what hit him.  He spun around as he heard a roar, and the next thing he knew he was flying through the air.  He landed heavily, and as he lay there gasping for breath, he saw that his shirt had been shredded, with gaping, bloody clawmarks across his chest.  "Shit," he thought, "didn't Giles say something about avoiding their claws because they were poisonous?  Way to go, Xan-man."  He tried shouting for help, but he couldn't seem to catch his breath.  He could hear someone shouting, and the sounds of fighting, but it was getting fainter as a dull roar filled his ears.  

Suddenly Spike's face loomed into view.  He looked panic-stricken, and Xander wondered why.  Spike was saying something, 'cos he could see his lips moving, and his voice sounded... odd, somehow.  But the words didn't make sense.  The roaring was growing louder, and a black cloud seemed to be gathering around him.  Everything was getting darker, and fuzzy...  Suddenly Spike's face was gone, but he could feel a pulling at his chest as though he was... licking him?   "Okaaay - passing out now..." he thought, and as the blackness descended, he was vaguely aware of panicked voices, and pressure against his chest.  

 "Spike...  What the hell are you...?" 

 "Fucking hell, Slayer, get off me.  Watcher...poison...I need to..." 
 

***** 

Spike was slumped in the armchair in his crypt, drinking steadily from a bottle of JD.  Empty whiskey bottles littered the floor around him, lavishly coated with ash and cigarette butts.  Spike looked, and felt, as though he had been hit by a truck, and it seemed to be taking the whiskey far too long to deaden the pain.  Spike was ranting, and waving the whiskey bottle wildly, as though underlining his grievances to his non-existent audience. 

"...and then... 'n then she says, 'This is your fault, Spike', like I had anything to do with the sodding demons being there.  But the thing is, you see - the things is, I *was* actually trying to help.  I didn't know the bloody demons were there, did I?  S'not my fault the idiot got himself hurt.  Bloody Slayer... Jesus, you'd think I got him poisoned on purpose the way she went on at me.   But I killed them all - never let 'em near him...  and, and...  Where was I?  Oh right, yeah - I took a right bloody beating, keeping 'em off him, but does she care?  No.  I thought she was fond of her minions - I mean, there I am, trying to save his worthless bloody life and she's trying to fucking stake me!  And I only did it to keep her happy.   Soddin' ungrateful bitch..." 

Spike's muttering faded away as he passed out, bottle in one hand and the still-lit cigarette burning away in the other.   

***** 

Buffy and Willow sat silently in the waiting room, watching Anya pacing backwards and forwards.  Tara had taken Dawn home hours ago, and Buffy had promised to phone them as soon as she had any news.  Giles had eventually grown impatient, and gone in search of some information.  But that had been quite some time ago, and he still hadn't returned. 

"We've been here for hours.  Why won't they let me see him?  I'm his fiancee you know - Xander needs me.  I should be the one talking to the doctors, not Giles." 

"Anya, why don't you sit down and I'll get you some coffee or something.  As soon as Giles finds out what's going on he'll come and tell you."  Willow put her arm around Anya's shoulders and steered her towards the couch.  But as soon as she had Anya sitting down, she jumped up again. 

"I can't just sit here.  I feel jumpy... or bouncy... or something.  I should be doing something, but I don't know what.  My stomach feels strange and I want to cry and I want Xander to come and tell me everything's going to be OK but - but - he's not going to do that is he because he's, he's why we're here..." 

Willow wrapped her arms around the now-weeping girl and led her back to the couch.  With a wail, Anya threw her arms around Willow and sobbed as though her heart would break.  Willow held her, gently rubbing her back, letting her cry herself out. 

"Shhh... shhh... come on Anya, it's gonna be OK, he's gonna be fine..."  Willow tried to comfort Anya, but found that tears were streaming down her face too.  Xander had looked far from fine when they'd brought him in, and the reaction from the ER team had frightened her.  She'd heard someone shouting about respiratory failure and cardiac arrest and... she didn't want to think about it any more.  Buffy caught Willow's eye and motioned that she was going outside, probably in search of Giles - and hopefully coffee, thought Willow. 

***** 

Buffy closed the waiting room door and looked around for Giles.  She saw him standing near the nurses' station, talking to a doctor.  As she walked towards them, they finished speaking and the doctor walked away, after patting Giles on the arm.  Giles removed his glasses and began polishing them on his handkerchief, only noticing Buffy coming towards him when he put them back on. 

"Ah, Buffy.  I have some news about Xander.  Perhaps we should go back into the waiting room and I can tell you all.  How are Anya and Willow holding up?" 

"Anya ranted for a while and then broke down - Willow's trying to calm her down, but she's pretty freaked out herself.  And you've been gone for a while, so I thought I'd see if I could find you.  So what's happening?  Where's Xander?   Is he gonna be OK?"  

Giles opened the waiting room door and ushered Buffy in ahead of him.  Anya jumped up from the couch and headed straight to Giles. 

"Giles - there you are.  Where is Xander?  Is he all right?" 

"I have just spoken to the doctor in charge of Xander's care, and he's filled me in on Xander's condition."  Giles paused, searching for a way to explain what he had been told that wouldn't alarm the girls, Anya in particular. 

"So - what did he say, Giles?"  Anya said impatiently.  He took a deep breath and, finding no real way to soften the blow, decided to just tell them the truth. 

"Xander was in a bad way when we brought him in.  He had had a heart attack, and wasn't breathing."  This brought the shocked looks he expected, but he ploughed on.  "The doctors resuscitated him and put him on life support until the paralysing effects of the demon poison wore off, which fortunately was only a matter of a couple of hours.   So, the good news is that they've taken him off life-support, Anya - he's breathing on his own, and they have treated his chest injuries, which haven't caused any permanent damage.  He didn't appear to have hit his head hard enough to cause serious damage, either, and he should be making a good recovery.  It's... it's just that... well, Xander hasn't regained consciousness yet, and they are somewhat concerned about that.  They've got him in a room down the hall, and they're monitoring his condition..." His voice trailed off, and Giles suddenly looked old and tired.  

~*~ 

Anya's legs gave out, and she slid to the floor in a sobbing heap.  It was just too much to take in - Xander, her Xander, had been dead.  Not alive.  Because they don't need to resuscitate people who are still alive, she knew this.  She desperately needed reassurance, but Xander couldn't talk to her.  She felt the room begin to spin, and she grabbed the wastebin and threw up into it. 

"Buffy," Willow said, "can you help me with Anya?"  The girls gently sat her down on the couch, and Buffy went to get some water and paper towels. 

*~* 

Willow felt as though someone had just punched her in the gut.  Not Xander - he got hurt, yeah - well, they all did.  But Xander always bounced right back again, always...  Giles cut into her thoughts. 

"He's scheduled for more tests tomorrow - well, later today, I should say.   Scans and so forth.  They should know more then."  Giles was polishing his glasses again, Willow noted absently.  Never a good sign.  Buffy was tending to Anya, who was now sobbing quietly.  

Giles continued, "We can thank Spike's quick thinking, and the speedy arrival of the paramedics, for the fact that Xander is alive now." 

"I want to see Xander now, Giles - I need to see him now."  Anya looked shaky, but determined.  

"Well, we have permission to see him briefly, but then I think we should go home and get some rest.  It's been a long night."   As Anya was about to protest, Giles raised his hand,  "Anya, you won't do yourself or Xander any good if you're exhausted.  You need to get some rest, and then you can bring in some things he needs from home.  Do you want me to contact his employers for you and let them know the situation?"  Willow watched as all the fight seemed to drain out of Anya.  She simply nodded, and gripped Buffy's hand tightly. 

*~* 

Giles opened the waiting room door and led the way to Xander's room, ushering the girls in.  Anya walked over to Xander, touching his face and brushing his hair away from his forehead.  His chest was bandaged, and he was hooked up to some sort of monitor, which was beeping softly. 

Willow stopped Giles at the door, and looked searchingly at him.  "Giles, what did you mean about Spike's quick thinking?  Buffy hasn't really told us exactly what happened in the graveyard." 

"Buffy and I were already fighting off some vampires when the demons attacked Xander.  We couldn't get to him, but then Spike suddenly appeared.  He killed the two demons, and then started cleaning the poison out of Xander's wounds.  It seems he was aware of its effects on humans.  Unfortunately, his method of cleaning was to... well, lick the wounds clean.  Buffy jumped to the conclusion that Spike was trying to get a free meal, and tried to stake him. " 

"Wow, OK... I wonder why Spike did that?" said Willow.  "Maybe he's trying to get on Buffy's good side, 'cos, like, he can't eat people now, and - you know, we'd pay him to help us.... or maybe... Oh, God - I'm babbling, Giles.  I'm so worried about Xander.  Do they... do they think - you know... how long was he out before they started resuscitation?  Because, no oxygen to the brain..." 

"Willow, let's not speculate at the moment," Giles said, glancing briefly at Anya, hoping that Willow would get the message.  Thankfully, Anya seemed too shaken to take in anything they were saying. 

"Oh! He just looks like he's asleep," said Anya.  "Xander, wake up honey - you have to wake up now, because I need you."  Anya reached over and took Xander's hand.  She squeezed it, willing him to squeeze back, but his hand just lay limply in hers.  She bowed her head and started sobbing again.  

"Willow," said Buffy, "I think we should take Anya back to my place.  Everyone needs rest, and she shouldn't be on her own at the moment.  Tara's already there with Dawn, so we can give them the news, and try to get some sleep." 

Giles turned to Willow, and handed her some money.  "There are some things I still have to sort out here, so why don't you get a cab home.  I'll come over to Buffy's later, when we've all had some rest." 

"Yeah, sounds like a good idea.  You coming, Buffy?"  Willow asked.  Buffy looked undecided for a moment, but then seemed to make up her mind. 

"Why don't you take Anya down and call for a cab.  I'll meet you there in a few minutes, OK?  I just have to talk with Giles first," said Buffy. 

"OK.  Anya, honey, it's time to get some rest.  We'll come back later, when you've had some sleep."  Anya kissed Xander's forehead, and then let Willow lead her out of the room.  Buffy watched Willow and Anya walk down the hall, and then turned to Giles.  "I need to talk to you," she said. 

"What you said, about Spike helping to save Xander's life - well, when he was sucking the poison out, I kinda accused Spike of justwantingafreemeal," Buffy blurted out, avoiding Giles' eyes.  "And I blamed him for Xander getting hurt in the first place..." Buffy trailed off, looking guilty.  Giles sighed. 

"I know, Buffy, I was there attempting to stop you staking him, if you recall.  Look, I have to confess that I am just as suspicious of Spike's motives as you are.  But last night he protected Xander from those demons, and he did save his life.  I don't know why he did it, but he did.   And he was badly hurt himself, in the process, so perhaps one of us should check up on him  - he may need blood to help heal the damage they did... but not now.  After we've had some rest."  They started walking down to meet the others. 

"You're right, Giles.  I'll get some blood and drop by his crypt in the... well, it's morning now.  After I've had some sleep."  The sun had just started to rise, and it seemed to increase the heavy air of weariness around them.  The cab had already arrived, and Willow and Anya were sitting in it, waiting. Giles opened the cab door for Buffy and as she got into the passenger seat, the driver started the engine. 

"You get some sleep too, Giles - you look exhausted."  Giles smiled weakly and waved them off.  He turned and headed back to the hospital.  There were more forms to fill out, more questions to answer, a couple of phone calls to make, and then he was going home.  He had no doubt that the next few days were not going to be easy, for any of them. 

***** 

It was late afternoon by the time Buffy managed to pick up some blood and make her way to Spike's crypt.  It was a relief to get out of her house, to tell the truth.  Dawn had been really upset - she still had that crush on Xander.  And Anya - she was practically a basket-case.  For an 1100 year old ex-vengeance demon, she had the emotional stability of a toddler.  Anyway, Tara had volunteered to take her back to the apartment to get some things that Xander might need, leaving Willow and Giles free to start researching the demon poison. 

Then Riley had turned up, and she'd ended up arguing with him.  She'd told him to just suck it up and deal.  All right, maybe she should have tried to let him know what was happening, but he had no right to say that she always put him last.  Jeez - she thought they had lost Xander for good last night, and her boyfriend's feelings weren't exactly at the top of her list right now. 

It was lucky her mom was in LA on a buying trip this week - or maybe not.  Her mom was good in a crisis, and this was definitely a crisis.  So Buffy had just left them all to cope, and fled. 

Buffy pushed open the crypt door and walked in.  She spotted Spike slumped in the armchair, the bottle of whisky still firmly grasped in one hand.  He looked terrible.  She walked up to him and removed the bottle from his hand. 

"Wha'...?"  Spike tried to grab the bottle back again, and opened his eyes, peering upwards.  "Oh, it's you, Slayer.  What do you want now?"  Spike tried to get up, and groaned loudly, falling back into the chair.  "Fucking hell, what hit me - a truck?" 

"I've brought blood and medical supplies, Spike.  Let me take a look at you."  Buffy helped Spike remove his shirt, and winced at what she saw.  Most of the wounds were still weeping, and the bruising still looked fresh.  "I'll clean your wounds, and then you need to drink this nice O-positive I've brought you, otherwise it'll take you forever to heal.  And you're not going to be much help to us like that, OK?"  Spike was in too much pain to argue, so he let Buffy clean and dress the worst of his injuries, and then she started to heat up some blood. 

"I've brought 4 packets of blood, Spike - you need to drink two now and the other two later.  It's human, because Giles said you would need it to heal properly."  Buffy handed him the mug of blood. 

"Whatever, Slayer.  You've done your angel of mercy bit, so why don't you bugger off now, eh?"  Spike was feeling very confused.  He was hungover and in pain, and finding it hard to cope with a Slayer tending his wounds and voluntarily giving him blood. 

"Just drink your blood and shut up, Spike.   I'm... well, I'm trying to apologise, you know - for what happened last night.  When you were helping Xander.  And you did help, a lot.  You know, protecting him and... Giles said that - well, Xander would be dead now if you hadn't cleaned out the poison.  And... so... well, thank you."   Spike finished his mug of blood, and Buffy took it back to the microwave to refill it.  Spike felt a warm glow in his chest, and shook his head in disgust.  'God, I must be getting soft - this bloody chip's turning me into the poof,' he thought.  He gingerly lifted himself out of the chair and went over to a pile of clothes, rooting through it to find another t-shirt. 

"S'OK Slayer - nobody eats the whelp but me, eh?  And don't think I'm not going to have a lot of fun with him about what a nummy treat he is, either."  Spike laughed, "I can just hear the spluttering and the insults.  So - he's all back in one piece then, happily being the demon-bint's sex toy again, yeah?"   Spike tucked in his t-shirt and turned around to see why the Slayer was taking so long heating up one mug of blood.  Buffy was standing by the microwave, hugging the mug of blood to her chest with tears streaming down her face. 

"Oh shit, Slayer - what's wrong?  I thought you said Harris was alive?" 

"He died, Spike.  They resuscitated him at the hospital, but he was dead, and now he won't wake up.  Willow is in shock, and Anya is a basket case, and nobody is saying brain damage out loud but that's what we're all thinking..." Spike stalked over to Buffy, took the mug out of her hands, and pulled her, awkwardly, into his arms.  Trying to comfort a mortal enemy was a new experience for him, and he wasn't quite sure what to do next. 

"Shhhh, there, there, Buffy.  He'll be OK, you know Harr... er, Xander.  Always bounces back, that one.  He'll be fine.  Come on now, dry your eyes - I can't stand bints crying all over the place."  He could see Buffy willing herself back under control.  She wiped her eyes, blew her nose, and then looked him straight in the eye. 

"Giles and Willow are researching - trying to get some leads on what this demon poison does to humans.  You knew about the poison, and we can use all the help we can get.  There'll be blood in it for you - yes, and whiskey," she added, seeing Spike's raised eyebrow and misinterpreting it.  He was simply surprised at Buffy voluntarily offering him payment instead of just threatening him - she must be really worried. 

"Yeah, sure, Slayer - no problem.  I could do with some supplies, being a bit short of the readies." 

"My place, as soon as it's dark.  Be there.  And don't forget to drink your blood."  With that, Buffy stalked out of the crypt.  "At least she didn't slam the door this time," muttered Spike.  "She didn't hit me again, either.  Things are looking up, eh?"  He walked over to the microwave and re-heated the mug of blood.  Christ, this hangover was killing him.  He desperately needed some more sleep. He reckoned he still had a few hours before sunset - get in a few hours' kip, drink some more blood, and he'd be a new vampire. 

*****  

He opened his eyes, and found that he was sitting on a couch.  It was in a nice room, bright and airy.  There was a TV in the corner, showing cartoons, so he sat and watched it.  After a while he began to feel hungry.  "I need pizza," he thought.  He got up off the couch and decided to have a look around.  He found a bedroom, 'nice and cosy - big bed', the bathroom, 'ooh, a spa bath', and the kitchen, finally.  There was a pizza and some soda in the fridge, so he microwaved the pizza, and sat at the table to eat.  A sudden noise, followed by someone swearing loudly, made him get up and go back into the living room.   He saw a man standing in the sunshine that was streaming through the window, with the biggest grin on his face, which made him chuckle. 

"Fuck, I'd forgotten how sunshine feels on my skin."  The man was staring at his hand as he flexed it, as though trying to catch the sunbeams.  He looked up at the sound of laughter.  "Harris - is that you?" 

Harris - the name had a familiar ring to it, but...  "I don't think so.  Do you know me?" 

***** 

Spike carefully took stock of the situation.  For starters, Xander was unconscious in a hospital bed, so he couldn't be standing in the middle of...wherever this was.  Spike also distinctly remembered going to bed in his crypt.  So - he was dreaming.  That and the whole 'standing in the sunlight and not bursting into flames', which was always a dead giveaway. 

Dream-Xander was standing there, waiting for him to say something.  "Er, yeah.  Your name is Harris... well, Xander Harris.  And you know me, too.  My name is Spike." 

"Xander...  Yeah, my name is Xander.  And yeah, I think I do know you.  But your name's not Spike...doesn't sound familiar at all.   Do you have another name?" 

Spike wasn't sure how to answer.  The only other name he had was from, well - before...   But Xander was looking at him with such an open, friendly expression on his face that he answered before he could stop himself.  "Will... my other name is Will." 

"Will...  Yeah, that sounds right.  You're Will.  And I'm Xander.  And I'm pretty sure that this is my apartment.  It's really nice, isn't it?" 

Spike felt a jolt, as though he was suddenly falling.  He opened his eyes, and he was in bed, in his crypt.  He felt completely disorientated.  "What the bloody hell was that?" he thought.  He could feel the sun starting to set - must have been what woke him up.  He heated up some more blood and drank it while getting dressed.  He didn't hang around too long though.  Mustn't be late.   He was on the Slayer's good side at the moment, and he wanted to keep it that way. 
 

***** 
  

Part 2