Part 5

*****

“Cordelia. We need a plan,” Gunn says.  

After a couple of deep breaths she turns to face Gunn. "Right. I’m gonna call Giles. He’s Buffy’s Watcher. Was, before he was fired. He can help us, and he’ll know what to do… how to deal.” She nibbles her fingernail, and continues, “He was, is good…” Frustrated with herself Cordelia sighs, annoyed. “He can help us.”  

“All right, here’s the phone." Gunn points to the table. She stares at it, slowly picking it up and dialling the number. Funny, she still remembers Giles’ number. Closing her eyes, she waits for the phone to be answered.  

“Hello.” She hears the familiar voice. 

“Giles,” she says. 

“Cordelia. How wonderful to hear from you. Are you well?” 

Tears are welling in her eyes. “Giles,” she only manages to say, before her voice breaks.  

“Cordelia? What is the matter? Cordelia, please answer,” Giles’ slightly panicked voice demands. “Cordelia?” 

“I’m here, Giles. I, I just. It’s so great to hear your voice right now.” Before Giles says anything, she continues. “We need your help.”  

“What is it?” the cultured voice asks. 

God. How’s Giles going to respond to her news? Will he come here himself or send Buffy to kill Angel? Is this a bad idea? She only has a second to decide. Tell or not. Which is worse? Her heart feels heavy. The thought that Wes would know pops into her mind; this is just too much for her to cope with. 

“I don’t know how… or who to tell this to.” Giles is silent, waiting. Deep breath. “Giles. Angel did something… bad.”  

“Bad? Meaning what?”  

“Wes was going to die,” she blurts out. “He…” Suddenly she feels nauseous. She’s defending him. Why is she defending him? “Fuck this! Fuck this!!!”  

She feels so angry. How could he do this. How could he? 

“Cordelia! What did Angel do?!” 

She closes her eyes again. “He turned Wesley.”  

There is a stunned silence on the other end of the phone. “What?”  

Opening her eyes again Cordelia says, “You heard me.” After more silence she waits for Giles to say something, but the silence drags on, so she continues, “Angel said that Wes was dying and he couldn’t let him. Coz he loves him.” 

“Loves?! Excuse me?” Giles says in a shocked voice. “Cordelia?” 

Cordelia bites her lip; she feels like china doll. Something easily breakable and fragile. She says in a quiet voice, “Somewhere along the line they fell in love, Giles. I don’t know when or how or why, but they did. And trust me, Giles, I was as shocked as you are now; and because of that love we now have a new fledge. Wes. And Giles, you know what, it breaks my heart coz they were perfect. Perfect together. You should’ve seen how they looked each other when they thought nobody was paying attention. We pretended that we didn’t know, coz that’s what they seemed to want. But we knew. We did. They were so in love, and I know it sounds… I don’t know what it sounds like, but they were so pure in their love, it was beautiful. It wasn’t a constant struggle like it was with Buffy, it was something else altogether. They were looking for a way to change the curse, so that…” Cordelia’s voice breaks, but she doesn’t stop, she can’t stop, she clenches her free fist without realizing, takes a deep breath and goes on. “They loved each other so much, and now it’s all ruined. I don’t understand how Angel could’ve done that! We weren’t prepared for this. With Angel, the turning into Angelus was a possibility, something we knew might happen; but this, as ridiculous as it sounds, we didn’t think this could happen. How stupid is that, huh? I have cried more in these few hours than in my entire life and I don’t know what to do. Gunn doesn’t know. It’s like somebody pulled the rug out from under our feet. We… we need you here.” She stops her rant, feeling the pain surging through her hand; looking at it she sees the little half moon shaped marks are bleeding. She feels Gunn behind her, hands on her shoulders, calming her down. She leans into the familiar touch. 

“Dear Lord, I had no idea. I-“ Giles stammers. “I’m so sorry, I know it’s inadequate, but I don’t know what else to say.” Cordelia interrupts him. “So you’ll come?” 

“Of course I will,” the gentle voice says, “but I must ask you something. You spoke to Angel?” 

Feeling more relaxed, Cordelia replies, “Yeah. After I got threatened by our dear Wes. Angel stopped him from.. eating me, I suppose. He sent Wes to his room and then he told me what I told you and then he let me leave. Angel says he still has his soul.” 

“But he turned Wesley.”  

“Yeah. Giles… maybe this is stupid of me, especially since I know what Angelus is capable of, but it really felt like I was talking to Angel. Though I was pretty scared and freaked at the time.” 

“You can’t trust him.”  

“I know, Giles.” 

“Wesley doesn’t have his soul, does he?” Giles asks. Sounding sad. 

Not knowing what else to say, she just says no. She hears Giles’ sigh. “No, of course not. How could he.” 

“Cordelia, are you alone?”  

“No, I’m with a friend.” 

“Good. Stay there. Don’t go anywhere. We’re coming.” 

“We who? Are you gonna tell Buffy?” 

She can hear him rubbing his face. “Willow and I, at least. I don’t know whether to tell Buffy or not. She might take it too hard, and she has problems enough here. We’ll come as soon as possible. I’ll ring you when we get to Los Angeles. What’s the phone number there?” 

She’s about to tell him no, they’re not gonna wait here like children, but then she realizes that it’s probably the best way to do this. If Wes is on the loose, God knows what could happen. Much safer to wait here. For her and Gunn and for them too; Angel and Wesley.  

“All right. The number here is 555-4636.” 

“Good.” Giles sounds almost surprised. Like he had expected her to argue. The thought makes her smile briefly. 

“See you soon then,” she says. 

“Yes. Bye.” 

She hangs up and turns to look at Gunn. “Giles is coming, with Willow.” 

Gunn’s back on the couch. “I heard. The famous Slayer comin’?” 

“Don’t know yet. If Giles tells her, then yes, she’s coming. If not, then no, she’s not coming.” 

She pushes Gunn’s legs off the couch and sits down. She feels so tired. 

They sit and wait in silence. 

It’s almost midnight. She confronted Angel and Wesley only a few hours ago, but somehow it feels longer.  

**** 

Wes lies on the bed. Sleeping. 

Angel watches his new Childe. Wesley would hate him. This creature he created is not his beloved Watcher. He’s a vampire. And what a beautiful vampire he is. So perfect. That white skin and dark hair. And when he opens his eyes, it’s the same blue grey eyes he knows. Shaking his head, he knows that’s not true. They are not the same. When the vampire opens his eyes they might look the same, for a second, but they are not. They are cold and calculating. He has no right to complain. He made Wes. He did it.  

He could forget his soul and be with Wes. Killing, yes. Torturing, yes. 

Why not? He’s a vampire. That’s what vampires do. They’re evil. He’s evil. He sired Wesley. His Wesley. 

He feels a burning sensation behind his eyes. He has no right to cry. What right has he to even brood? Humans have their life span. Wesley had a life span and when it ends, it ends. He should’ve let him die. Wes should die. He’s dead already. The thought makes him shiver.  

No, he can’t do it. He still loves him. It doesn’t matter that it’s not the same Wesley. It’s close enough. Shit! 

There’s always the curse; it’d replace his soul, but how can he do that to Wesley. He’d be overwhelmed by the guilt of killing that woman. It would be awful, Angel knows that first-hand. And then what would Wesley have to look forward to? Living forever. Never being able to taste food again, feeding on blood. Wesley would probably end up hating him and hating himself.  

He was supposed to love him; why did he do something like this to the man he loves? 

A bitter smile forms on Angel’s lips. He knows why. He didn’t think about Wesley when he turned him. He only thought of himself. How much *he* would hurt if Wesley died. Incredible how he hasn’t learnt anything in all this time; he’s still as selfish as he was when he was human, or Angelus.  

A dry laugh escapes his lips. Okay, he’s in full brooding mode. What is 

done is done. He can’t change the fact that Wesley is a vampire. He must make a decision, and soon. 

He stands and walks over to Wes. If you didn’t know better, you could think that he’s just taking a nap. Angel touches his face. The skin feels so cold, like his own. How can he look so peaceful and so dead at the same time?  

When he wakes again, he’s going to be very hungry. Pig’s blood isn’t going to satisfy him, Angel knows that. Wes needs human blood. Unless he’s dead - a big pile of dust, then he won't needd anything. Angel checks his watch. Wes might wake up at any moment. It’s close to midnight. It’s surprising that he has slept this long, ‘I guess the violent sex and the fact that he lost some blood exhausted him’, Angel muses. Wes is so young, they tire fast.  

He needs to go and buy some human blood, but he has to lock and secure the door in case Wes wakes up. Good thing they’re in his room; it doesn’t have any windows. 

Angel leaves the room, locking the door after him.  

**** 

Cordelia and Gunn both jerk awake at the same time. Cordy guesses they must have both fallen asleep on the couch. Her neck is hurting, and she wonders what woke them up. 

An insistent ringing finally brings them up to speed. Cordy grabs the phone. 

“Yeah,” she says, still a bit groggy with sleep. 

“Cordelia, it’s me, Giles. We’re in Los Angeles. Where are you?” 

“I’m at Gunn’s. Um… he’s gonna give you the directions.” 

“Ok.” 

“Hey, Giles? Who is we?” 

“Willow’s with me. I want to see how things are before doing anything… else.” 

“Good, I’ll put Gunn on the phone now.” 

She gives the phone to Gunn and goes into the kitchen. Clock on the wall says 2 am. Giles and Willow were pretty fast, since they’re already here. She makes a pot of coffee and then goes back to the living room.  

“They’re on their way?” she asks. 

“Yeah. They were pretty close by.” Gunn goes back to the couch. “Cordy, what the hell are we gonna do? Kill Angel or Angelus? Kill Wes?” 

She sits down next to him. “I don’t know, Gunn. I feel so helpless. It’s two of our friends, it’s like such a huge loss." Quietly they wonder what they should do next, until Cordy interrupts Gunn's thoughts.  “Gunn,” Cordelia says, “How did everything go so wrong so fast?”  

“Hell if I know… I guess TPTB decided to fuck with us, things were too good,” Gunn says bitterly. Cordy can only nod her agreement. 

“And no matter how I look at this whole mess, one thing remains the same. Wes is dead. I’m just trying really hard not to think about it. Except for talking about it, apparently. Coz I’m so afraid that if I keep thinking about it I’m gonna fall apart and I’m not gonna be able to…” 

“Hey, hey, Cordy.” She feels Gunn’s arms around her. Without even realizing it, she had started to cry. “Don’t ya go all weepy on me, girl. You gotta stop if you don’t want me to join ya. We cry later.” 

She wipes away the tears, knowing that Gunn is right. This is not the time for this. There’ll be plenty of time later.  

“You’re right.” She tries to smile, but fails dismally. The look on Gunn’s face is heartbreaking. She can’t take it. “I made coffee,” she just says. 

He says nothing. They just sit there, until a knock at the door breaks into their thoughts. She rushes to open it. 

“Cordy, fuck. Don’t open it!” 

“Wha—“ Right, check who it is first. You don’t wanna walk right into a killer's arms. 

“It’s Giles and Willow!” She can’t get the door open fast enough. When she finally does, she practically falls all over them, hugging them tightly.  

“It’s SO good to see you,” she finally manages to say after all the hugging. “Come on in.” 

“Thank you,” Giles says. Willow walking in after him. 

“Why don’t you sit down. Willow, Giles, this is Charles Gunn.” 

“It’s a pleasure, Mr. Gunn.” 

“Hi!” Willow says. 

“Hello.” 

“So, Cordelia. Please, tell me the whole story. Don’t leave anything out.” 

**** 

Wesley feels very disoriented. Where is he? And he hurts like a motherfucker. His back, thighs and ass are throbbing painfully. He feels so hungry. He could eat a horse; or not a horse. A village full of people. 

He rises from the bed and remembers what had happened before. A slow smile spreads across his face. But none of it matters right now. He is very, very hungry. He feels like he hasn’t eaten in days. He needs, he craves blood. He looks around; he’s still in Angel’s room. He must leave. He walks over and tries the door, it’s locked.  

Well, just a minor setback. He can break down one door. He throws himself against it. Nothing happens, except now his arm and shoulder feels sore too. Shit! He tries kicking the door. Nada. Nothing. He tries to pull the door, he tries pushing. Nothing. “Fuck!” He needs to eat. He feels weak. Why won’t this stupid door open?   

Angrily he sits on the bed. Blood, blood. He can picture it so vividly. 

Humans full of that wonderful liquid. Okay, think Wes, think. Angel has 

locked the stupid door with some extra strong locks. Or maybe the door is really heavy. There has to be a way out. And why isn’t Angel here? He can’t think straight, his mind is hazy. Where’s the key?  

The door opens. Wes tries to focus on the doorway and sees Angel. That smell, he’s holding something that looks suspiciously like blood. Before Wes even realizes it, he’s at the door. Angel gives the bags to him. Wesley doesn’t think, just drains the bags. One after the other. After the fourth, he starts to feel better. He can think clearly again. He is sitting on the floor, empty blood bags surrounding him. He still has one left. This one he savours. Human blood, it tastes so good. Not as good as Sire’s blood, but close. 

Blissfully he drinks the blood; eyes closed, he tastes the wonderful copper, and *life* of it. He drinks every last drop of it, enjoying it. 

How can blood feel so good; it’s amazing, just fucking amazing.   

Slowly he opens his eyes. He sees Angel sitting on the chair. He doesn’t say anything, just sits and stares. It feels like he’s staring right through him. It makes Wes feel uneasy. 

“Sire?” 

Angel doesn’t reply, and Wesley can’t read the expression on his face. His face is completely blank.  

Wes stands up, walks over to his Sire, puts his arms around him and shakes him gently. “Sire?” 

Angel blinks and focuses on Wes, and it’s as though he has woken from a trance of some sort. “Wes. I-- How are you feeling?” 

Smiling broadly, Wes replies, “I feel bloody great. I’ve never felt better. Ever.” 

“I know what you feel like. You feel like a king of the world, like the King of Gondor.” 

Wes doesn’t miss the reference. “I would love to have the One Ring and rule the world!” he laughs. Sounding just like the human he once was.  

“Do you think Lord of the Rings is based on fact?” With a thoughtful look on his face he continues, “Too bad that Tolkien isn’t alive anymore. We could’ve tortured the information out of him.” Sounding just like the evil vampire he is.   

“Wes, get yourself dressed and come downstairs,” Angel says sharply, feeling bad for forgetting who he was talking to. ‘That’s not my Wesley, not ever again. Don’t forget that’, he reminds himself.  

I guess not, Wes thinks. Okay, where are his clothes. There. Those have got to go. Maybe something black, he snickers. He dresses himself and follows Angel downstairs. 

**** 

Angel feels so guilty. Their little chat upstairs, when for one second Wes had sounded like his old self, had left him aching with grief.  

They are in the lounge. Wes is sitting casually spread over the sofa. “I need new clothes.” 

“Sure, let’s get some tomorrow evening, okay? Right now I want you to do some research.” 

Wes looks up at his Sire, thoughts of new clothes forgotten. “Why?” 

“Because I’m telling you to. Continue from where you left off.” 

“You are forgetting something. I’m a vampire! I don’t help the good guys any more,” he says with a stubborn note in his voice. 

“You will do exactly what I tell you, and now I’m telling you to do the FUCKING RESEARCH!” Angel’s temper is flaring. 

Sullenly Wes walks over to his books, looking at them with contempt. 

“Pick up your books and go and sit on the couch, now.” 

 Wes ignores him. 

“OKAY, WES?”  

Wes grabs his books and walks quickly back to Angel, not looking at him. 

Guess the boy got upset, Angel grins. But soon his grin fades, when he remembers what he’s supposed to do. He has to call Cordy. He should’ve done it hours ago. Lord knows who she’s contacted by now. Hopefully Buffy won’t barge in with a stake in her hand. Though that would be a clean ending to this. Shit! Angel thinks. He’s not going to be coward. He walks to the desk and picks up the phone. He checks his watch. It’s 2.35 am. He knows he can call. She won’t be sleeping.  

He walks into the kitchen, his eyes still on Wes. He dials her cell number and waits for it to be picked up. 

*** 

Giles frowns. “Angel seemed normal?”   

Cordelia nods. “Yeah, he wasn’t Angelus-like.” 

“That doesn’t prove any--“ Giles’ sentence is cut short by the ringing of Cordelia’s  cell. 

She takes it from her purse. Funny, she thinks to herself, she completely forgot she had it with her. Quickly she checks the caller ID. She feels like her heart stops beating for a second and then it starts to beat again, hard and fast against her chest.  

“Cordelia, what’s wrong. You look awfully pale,” Willow says. 

“It’s him,” she hears Gunn say. 

She looks at the others.  

Giles stands up. “Go on, answer it.” 

Numbly she presses the answer button. 

*** 

‘I can’t believe he wants me to do this. Motherfucking cunt! Research. Like some good little boy,’ Wes thinks with malice. He should be out on the streets. Beating someone to a bloody pulp and then ripping someone else’s throat open and drinking and drinking. And after that getting fucked by his Sire. Just the thought makes him hard.  But his Sire doesn’t want that. Instead, he wants to rescue those worthless humans. 

Wes stands up, but seeing that Angel is still looking at him, he sits down again. 

He wants to hunt. He needs it. Almost as much as he needs the blood. He is so much stronger now, it would be a blast. He needs to get out, with or without his Sire’s consent. He looks over at his Sire again, and sees him calling someone. He wonders who. 

*** 

 “Cordelia,” Angel says, trying to sound calm. 

“Angel,” she squeaks.  

“Cordy, are you alone? Where are you?” he asks. Grimacing, he realises that he couldn’t have asked a worse question. Now she definitely thinks he’s after her. Fuck! Trying to repair the damage he quickly babbles, “Not that it matters. I just wanted to call. To see how you're handling things... I’m really not Angelus.” 

Nobody says anything. 

“Cordy, please say something.” 

“I’m with Gunn, Giles and Willow,” she finally answers. Her voice is shaking. “Why’d you do it?” 

Angel automatically closes his eyes, feeling shame. “I didn’t think. He was going to die. I couldn’t…” 

“Angel.” That’s Giles’ voice.  

“Or should I say Angelus?” Hint of bitterness in his voice. 

“Giles,” Angel breathes. “No, I’m me, I’m Angel.”  

Giles’ voice sounds cold. “I want us to meet. Tomorrow. You know a coffee shop called Fly? We’ll meet there at 10 am. Bring Wesley. And don’t try anything, we’re protected.” 

“Okay,” Angel says. Giles hangs up without saying anything else. 

Angel puts the phone down. He arches his back.  Tomorrow then.    

**** 

“He agreed to meet us. Now, we just have to find a magic shop that is open in the middle of the night. We need the ingredients for the protection spell. Cordelia, Mr. Gunn?” 

****  

Angel’s deep in thought. He knows a safe way to Fly. I bet the coffee shop was Cordy’s idea, he thinks to himself. Might be a bit difficult to get Wes to come. He’s a fledgling, they are always so sleepy during the day. Well, it doesn’t matter, they will both be there, Angel thinks. 

Wes! He forgot about him. Angel looks over to the couch. Thank god. He’s still there. Watching him. 

Angel walks over to Wes and sits down next him. 

“Did you hear that?” Angel asks. 

Crossing his arms over his chest Wes snaps, “You want us to meet them.” 

Angel nods. “And we’re going to.” 

“I don’t see the point. Do you seriously think that they are just going to smile and be happy for us? Hardly. Fucking hell, they want to stake you and curse me with that – that soul. I just know it, and here you are, walking right into their sodding trap!” 

Angel leans back. Wes has just voiced his worst fear. But he really has no choice. If he won’t do this, then they will send Buffy after him. After them. Of course, he could simply take Wes out of the country, but he likes it here and he has to resolve this. There’s no running now. 

“You know I’m right,” Wes says, thinking that he has won. 

“Maybe, but we’re still going.” 

“But…!” 

“Shut up, Wes.” Angel’s voice is tired. 

Wes is fidgeting beside him. The boy needs something to do. He needs to hunt. Angel can’t let him do that, but he can do something else. “Let’s go downstairs, I’m going to teach you how to fight better and how to use your vampire strength.” 

“I want to hunt!” Wes exclaims. Knowing that Angel, that souled ponce, won’t let him do it. 

“Don’t argue, Wes. Let’s go.”  

Wes follows. In spite of his rebellious thoughts, he really can’t do anything against his Sire’s wishes, because doing so fills him with a sense of dread. Bloody annoying. 

**** 

“It’s 9.30,” Gunn practically yawns. “We need to get movin’.”  

“Willow, the spell is working now, right?” Cordelia asks. 

“Yeah.” Looking a bit uncertain, Willow admits. “I’m scared.” 

“We’ll be surrounded by a lot of people, Willow. Don’t worry.” Giles tries to comfort Willow, although he feels a bit shaky himself. 

“Let’s go, boys and girls.” Gunn ushers everyone out the door. Anxious to go, to get it over with.  

They're standing outside Gunn's apartment in the bright morning sunlight.  All feeling uneasy about what they will have to face.  

"Hey, G. Gimme the keys, 'k? I know the way," Gunn says. Silently Giles gives him the keys. 

They get into Giles' car and Gunn starts the engine. No one says a word during the short trip to the coffee shop. He parks opposite the coffee shop, and they silently cross the road. Gunn can't help but feel dread, not that he'd admit it to anyone. Poor Cordy, trying to stay strong. This thing is eating her alive; he'd like to hug her once more, but knows this isn't the time. He shifts his gaze to the Watcher. The older man is standing at the door, fists clenched; it's obvious to Gunn that Giles has some serious issues of his own. He's seen that stiff pose many times over the years on many different people. Giles is afraid. Not that he can blame him. If they have Angelus to face with vamp Wesley, they're in deep shit. The stories he's heard ain't nice, and if Wes... he refuses to think about the horrible possibilities. Everybody knows what kind of a threat evil Watcher with all of his knowledge can be. 

Gunn turns to observe the witch. She's shuffling her weight from one foot to the other. Girl has strength, buried underneath the nervousness, but nevertheless it's there, she's not the one to crack. 

Gunn turns his eyes back to the door.  

“Show time,” he says.  

They open the door and step inside.   

**** 
 

TBC…