Part
Three
*****
Xander woke up alone and automatically reached into the empty space beside
him. He let his hand rest for a moment in the warm depression Spike’s
body had left in his bed. He heard an odd sound and cocked his head, trying
to identify it. A huge grin spread over his face as he realized what he
was hearing. Never in a million years would he have believed that the
sound of Spike peeing would make him so happy, but it did. However, the
sound of the toilet flushing set off an automatic response in his own
bladder, and he levered himself out of the warm bed to avail himself to
the facilities.
The two men passed one another in the center of the room and kissed lightly
before continuing in separate directions. Xander marveled for a moment
at how normal and domestic it seemed. When he exited the bathroom, he
noticed that Spike had not returned to the bed, so he padded naked into
the front room of the apartment. He found the blond seated cross-legged
on the floor in front of the open sliding glass doors that led to the
patio. The night sky was just beginning to lighten in the east, heralding
the approaching sunrise. Xander went to the kitchen and started a pot
of coffee, then returned to Spike, slumping down on the floor behind him
to wrap the smaller man with his long arms and legs.
They sat silently until the gurgling noises of the coffee maker tapered
off. Xander got up and reached a hand down.
"Come on," he said. "Get some clothes – the view
of the sunrise from the beach is much better." With a brilliant smile,
Spike allowed himself to be pulled up against his lover’s body.
After a quick embrace, Spike went to the bedroom, Xander to the kitchen.
Spike returned to the kitchen in his black jeans and tee, carrying Xander’s
shorts from the night before and a clean tee shirt. He found the other
man pouring coffee into two large insulated cups, and then liberally dosing
one with milk and sugar before pulling on the proffered clothing.
The two men walked back into the main room and found their shoes. Xander
grabbed his keys, and they left the apartment, walking the three blocks
to the beach in happy silence. They reached the beach access, and kicked
off their shoes. Xander slipped his sandals into his pocket and reached
for Spike’s boots. He tied the laces together and slung them over
his shoulder while Spike rolled up the cuffs of his jeans. They walked
across the sand until they came to a natural hollow nestled in the dunes.
They arranged themselves so they could see the beginnings of the sunrise.
Xander leaned against Spike and felt the answering pressure from his lover’s
shoulder against his own. They sat quietly and sipped their coffee as
the first rays of the morning sun slipped over the horizon.
Once the sky had brightened from dark blue, through a hundred shades of
red and orange and pink to the cool blue of the California morning, they
turned and looked out over the Pacific Ocean. Spike pressed the bottom
of his coffee mug into the sand and leaned harder against Xander. The
brunet wrapped his right arm around his lover and dropped a kiss on his
temple.
"Good morning, Spike," he said.
"Good morning, love," the blond replied. He ran his fingers
gently over the tattoo on the wrist that rested on his shoulder.
"Hey!" Xander said suddenly. "This is day 7 – my
tattoo’s obsolete." Spike looked up from where he was absently
drawing patterns in the sand with his big toe.
"You can get a new one," he said. "Maybe this." He
dragged his toe in the sand to make a mark that looked like the number
eight on its side. "Infinity – except we don’t have that."
His voice was sad. Xander rubbed the mark out with his own foot, looking
down.
"We never did," he said. "You did. Are you sorry it’s
gone?" Spike sighed.
"Xan, do you know the worst part about knowing you’re gonna
live forever?" Xander shook his head. "It’s knowing that
you’re gonna live forever. Before… caring about humans was
awful. Every time I let one of you into my heart it was just one more
I was gonna have to outlive." He looked up into Xander’s face.
"Being here – being human, alive – it lets me love you
without having to hurt for it."
Xander looked down at Spike and smiled suddenly.
"So, what you’re saying is that you love me?" he asked.
Spike smirked.
"Way to distill the complex existential issues down to ‘this
affects me how?’" Leaning down until their lips were only a
breath apart, Xander repeated,
"So, you love me." Spike darted his tongue out to trace a wet
line along his lover’s full lower lip.
"Yeah," he said quietly, "I love you."
"My tattoo’s still obsolete." Xander said, just before
their lips met. They kissed softly until they were interrupted by the
loud rumbling from Xander’s stomach, which was immediately joined
by an answering rumble from Spike’s. Laughing, they gathered their
belongings and turned toward home and breakfast.
After breakfast, Xander puttered around the kitchen, doing the dishes
and straightening, to give Spike the opportunity to prowl his new home.
The former vampire had been quiet throughout the walk home and breakfast.
Xander desperately wanted to glue himself to his lover’s side, but
also wanted to give Spike some space to adjust to the huge changes he
was facing. When he heard the shower turn on, Xander left the kitchen
and settled on the sofa with a notepad and a pen and started making a
list of items Spike would probably need if they ever got around to leaving
the house.
Xander had halfway filled the page when he heard the water turn off. He
jotted down a few more items, and then put the pen down. He couldn’t
stand it any longer. Wandering into the back of the apartment, he was
greeted with the sight of his beautiful lover standing in the bathroom
wearing only a towel wrapped low on his narrow hips, staring at himself
in the mirror. Spike’s wet hair was pushed carelessly back from
his face, and drops of water were scattered across his shoulders and back.
He was running a finger over the scar in his eyebrow when he noticed Xander
behind him and smiled.
"Hello, love," Spike said, sighing and leaning back as Xander’s
arms slipped around his waist. The taller man leaned down and began licking
up the drops of water shining on Spike’s pale skin. Xander’s
tongue paused.
"Hi," he said briefly, and then turned back to his task, leaning
back to lick up any drops on Spike’s back. On large hand was circling
on Spike’s stomach, tangling in the fine hairs, sneaking up to dip
into his navel, tracing the contours of his defined abdominal muscles.
Xander’s other hand climbed higher and began teasing first one,
and then the other pink nipple, rubbing the responsive tissue into taut
peaks. Spike stretched and arched his back as Xander’s lapping tongue
moved down to the center of his lower back then back up to his shoulders
again.
Xander stood and wrapped his arms around Spike, at the same time divesting
him of the towel and kissing a line up and down the tender, sensitive
flesh of his long, pale neck. Blue eyes fluttered closed, and a groan
issued from between Spike’s suddenly too-dry lips.
"What are you doing to me, Xan?" he asked.
"I’m trying to drive you crazy. Is it working?" Xander’s
tone was light, but it throbbed with suppressed lust.
"Working… yeah, it’s bloody well working, pet,"
Spike gasped. "Think we can take this to the bed?" Not bothering
to answer, Xander kept up his exquisite torment, but he did turn his lover
and start walking them towards the bed.
As soon as Spike was standing in front of the bed, Xander pushed him lightly
onto it and quickly stripped out of his clothes. Spike started to turn
over, but Xander placed a hand in the small of his back to pin him down.
"Nope," he said. "Stay there. I want to play." Spike
shuddered visibly, but stayed in place. He shuddered again when he felt
Xander’s tongue stroke the hollow at the very bottom of his spine.
The warm point traced a circular pattern, and then drew a thin, hot line
all the way to the blond curls at the nape of Spike’s neck. The
tongue was replaced for a moment by teeth, which nibbled lightly, making
Spike moan into the pillow. The moan became a yelp when Xander’s
teeth bit hard into the trapezius muscle on the right side of his neck.
"God, that’s good, Xan," Spike murmured, and Xander made
a small sound of agreement before he started licking his way back down.
Reaching the small of Spike’s back, Xander latched onto the skin
there and began sucking, pulling blood to the surface to leave a mark.
Spike’s back arched and flexed, alternately pushing into the sensation
and seeking to escape it, while he choked and babbled Xander’s name.
Releasing his mark with a "pop", the brunet insinuated himself
between the spread legs of his prey and sat back on his heels to admire
the effect of the hickey staining his lover’s alabaster skin.
"Pretty," he murmured, tracing it with hot fingers. He dipped
his head back down and slid backward on the bed, stopping with his breath
barely gusting over the juncture of Spike’s thighs. Xander placed
his hands on the firm globes of Spike’s ass and flexed his fingers
into the hard muscle, eliciting a groan. The squick factor tried to kick
in, but he ruthlessly suppressed it, remembering the incredible sensations
he’d felt when Spike had done this very thing to him on their very
first night together, a million years and a world of pain ago.
He slid his thumbs into the crease and opened his lover’s body to
his gaze. Spike shifted backward and raised his hips in supplication.
Xander placed his tongue flat against the strip of skin behind Spike’s
balls and licked all the way up to the blood-dark mark he’d made
earlier. He paused thoughtfully – it seemed that skin was pretty
much skin; salty and slightly spicy and pure Spike. Xander leaned in and
repeated the motion twice more. On the third pass he let the tip of his
tongue trace lightly around the entrance to Spike’s body and grinned
broadly when he received a muffled gasp for his efforts.
Taking a deep breath, he leaned in yet again. This time, he stiffened
his tongue to a point and pressed it as far inside Spike as he could.
The feeling of hot, internal muscles clenching down on his tongue was
different, so he thrust in and out a few times. When he pulled out to
catch his breath, Xander was stunned to see that Spike was trembling all
over and pressing his face into the pillow.
"Is it good?" he asked, hating the uncertainty in his voice.
Spike pressed his fisted hands into the mattress and levered up to look
back at his lover. His face was bright red and he was gasping.
"It’s fucking incredible! Don’t stop now!"
Xander laughed and dove back in. He kept up the torture for the next five
minutes, swirling his tongue around, stabbing it in and out, thrusting
as hard as he could to touch as much of Spike as he could reach, until
the blond launched himself forward on the bed to escape Xander’s
teasing mouth. Spike rolled onto his back and grinned up at Xander with
one hand wrapped snugly around the base of his own dark, dripping erection.
"No more," he pleaded. "Don’t want to come like that
– have to come inside you this time. Need it," he panted.
Xander smiled and wiped his face with his hand, pushing back to stand
beside the bed.
"Where are you going?" Spike demanded.
"Hello, Spike? You’re a human now, and you’ve probably
got the immune system of a kitten at this point. Let me go clean up a
little so I can kiss you." He looked down at the straining flesh
in Spike’s hand. "Hold that thought."
After a quick round of teeth-brushing and Listerine, Xander was back at
the foot of the bed. He knelt on the mattress and panther-crawled up the
bed, lightly brushing his chest against Spike’s for maximum effect.
By the time he reached the top of the bed, Spike’s blue eyes were
nearly black with arousal. Their lips met in a teasing kiss that instantly
deepened when Spike curled both hands into Xander’s hair and tugged
to make him gasp. The smaller man hooked his calf around a tanned thigh
and rolled them so that he came to rest on top.
For long moments they simply kissed, relearning the contours of one another’s
mouths, figuring out how to accommodate the fact that both of them now
needed to breathe, instead of just Xander. Before long, they were thrusting
their lower bodies together urgently.
"Need to be in you, Xan – I can’t wait anymore,"
Spike panted, and Xander answered him by sweeping the tube of lubricant
off the table and pressing it into his hand. Spike coated his fingers
and reached between Xander’s spread legs. He let the tip of one
finger circle the puckered opening, purposely mimicking the actions Xander
had taken with his tongue. Gently, Spike eased just the tip of his finger
into his lover and started moving, pressing in a little bit more on each
thrust. Soon, he had worked his whole finger inside.
"Jesus, Xan. You feel so good," Spike groaned, and Xander’s
answering groan spurred him to thrust harder. Pulling out, Spike put more
lubricant on his hand and carefully pressed two fingers inside, feeling
the tissues stretch to accommodate him. Xander pushed down on the fingers
stretching him and began thrashing his head from side to side on the pillow.
Spike began twisting his fingers, searching for the prostate. He knew
when he found it because Xander bucked hard against him, arching up from
the bed with a muffled curse.
Spike kept up the pressure, happy to remain hovering over the other man,
watching his every reaction. He finally pulled back, waiting for his lover’s
eye to open. As soon as they were staring at each other, Spike smiled.
"You ready for three, love?" he asked.
"God, yes!" Xander groaned, and Spike started working three
lubricated fingers inside, carefully stretching Xander wider and wider.
Finally, the dark man could stand it no longer.
"Spike, you’ve got to fuck me now – I can’t wait.
Please – inside me, now!" he begged. Spike pulled his fingers
out of the tight channel, chuckling at Xander’s small sound of loss.
He opened the lube again and spread a handful over his hard cock. He hooked
one of Xander’s knees over his elbow and pushed the other leg to
the side to open the man beneath him fully. Wrapping his fingers around
the base of his erection, he moved the head in line with Xander’s
hole.
"You ready, love? You want me?" he asked. Xander’s lust-darkened
eye swept Spike’s face and saw the vulnerable expression there.
"Want you. Love you, Spike," he whispered. The admission nearly
made Spike lose control. Exerting his iron will, he started the slow slide
that would connect the two men fully, not stopping until he was completely
sheathed inside Xander.
"Love – you’re so tight. Feel so good. There… hasn’t
been… anybody…" Spike stammered.
"Not this," Xander gasped. "Was never going to be anybody
else to do this – not after you. Only you." The words were
Spike’s undoing. He couldn’t stop the emotions that ran through
him at Xander’s pledge. Bracing his hands on the bed and his forehead
against his lover’s he began rolling and shifting his hips, driving
himself mindlessly into Xander’s body. He felt strong arms and legs
contracting around him in the same rhythm as the grasp and pull of Xander’s
hot passage. Sweat slicked both of their bodies, and Xander’s cock
was trapped between the hard ridges of their stomachs.
Spike thrust in, balls-deep, and stopped. They both held completely still
for a long moment, eyes locked on each other’s faces.
"I can feel your heartbeat inside me," Xander said, and Spike
nearly cried at the look of wonder on his lover’s face. They stayed
still, and both felt it – once, and then again – their hearts
beating in tandem. It was too much. Xander wrapped his legs around Spike’s
waist and buried his head in his lover’s neck as Spike resumed his
motion. He fucked Xander as hard as he could, wanting to drive ever more
of himself inside. Xander merely held on and rode the waves of sensation
that threatened to engulf him.
Xander felt the sensation pooling in his lower back and knew that his
orgasm was near. He threw his head back and found Spike’s eyes with
his one.
"Now, Spike – coming now," he said, and bit his lip as
he felt the cock inside him swell and then pulse, shooting Spike’s
hot release deep into his body at the same time as Xander’s spilled
between them.
"Love you," Spike said, on a long groan. "Love you, Xan."
Xander floated calmly in a sea of contentment. His fingers moved languidly
up and down the staircase of Spike’s ribcage, pausing now and then
to do Fred Astaire-style kicks and leaps before climbing up and sliding
down again and again. Beneath his ear, the steady beat of Spike’s
heart was utterly normal, utterly human and utterly amazing – all
at the same time. The fingers began their climb once again; going halfway
up, reversing; a skip, a jump, and then a long, slow slide to the bottom,
skimming down to the jut of a hipbone, skating over it; thumb stroking
the hollow before moving in to rub against the firm pad of muscle blanketing
the center of the pelvis. The fingers joined the thumb, they folded under
so knuckles could press into the spot beneath Spike’s navel that
made his abdominal muscles jump involuntarily and quiver just the tiniest
bit.
Spike’s fingers were exploring the infinite variations of swirl
and texture created by Xander’s thick hair as it slid over and around
his stroking hand. The locks separated and reformed under his ministrations;
the waves ebbing and flowing to reveal the tender paleness of the scalp
beneath. Silken strands caught on the faint roughness of the whorls and
patterns of fingerprints, and Spike pressed the pads of his fingers lightly
against Xander’s skull, as if branding him with those unique imprints,
marking the pale flesh with invisible signs of ownership. He mapped the
contours of the delicate arch of bone behind Xander’s ear, the hidden
crease beneath the lobe, the hollow at the beginning of the tanned neck.
Spike sighed. He was loath to break the comfortable silence, but couldn’t
help himself. The burning, consuming possessiveness of the vampire was
long gone, but the ego of the man remained.
"So, there was somebody…" he began; his finger’s
stilling in Xander’s hair.
"Jason. He’s a friend. Occasional fuck buddy," Xander
explained. His voice was supremely relaxed and even. "It… wasn’t
you, Spike, but it helped – when things got to be too much. You
OK with that?" Spike’s fingers resumed their motion while he
pondered his lover’s words.
"It’s done now, right?" he asked. Xander turned his head
to press a kiss to the skin of Spike’s chest.
"Duh," he answered.
"Why a… fuck buddy, Xan? Why not…" Spike’s
voice trailed off. Knuckles dug sharply into the top of his pelvis as
Xander levered himself up to look into wide blue eyes.
"Because a fuck buddy doesn’t care if I call out your name
when I come; he doesn’t care that I won’t kiss him or cuddle
with him after or let him fuck me. Jason is a good friend who likes to
get fucked. He didn’t care that I was pretending he was you, Spike."
The former vampire couldn’t help the broad grin that spread across
his face. In a completely bizarre, yet completely logical way, it warmed
his heart that Xander had sought out a partner that knew he was being
used as a stand-in, even when he thought Spike was dead. Xander took in
the gorgeous smile and smiled back.
"You like that, don’t you?" he asked. When Spike nodded
enthusiastically, he laughed and sank back down to his previous position.
"You’re a sick twist, baby," he said. "I dig it."
Spike smoothed the dark waves back from his lover’s forehead and
grumbled, "Formerly evil former vampire, here – don’t
you forget it." Xander rubbed his fingers lightly over Spike’s
abdomen.
"There’s not one thing I’ve forgotten about you,"
he whispered, and the formerly evil one found himself swallowing hard
against the lump in his throat. Once he regained his composure, he looked
down at the relaxed face pressed to his chest.
"What do we do now, Xander?" he asked.
"You mean that in the ‘big, existential question of life, the
universe and everything’ kind of way, or in a ‘what’s
for lunch’ kind of way?" Xander asked.
"The first one," Spike said. Xander watched his own fingers
climb up his lover’s ribs to rest in the hollow between his pectoral
muscles and tap along to the rhythm of his heart.
"That’s easy," he said, fingers still tapping lightly.
"We live."
*****
The End
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