Disclaimer:  Not mine.  More's the pity.

AN:  This is what happens when Dia does typos. Yes, this entire fic exists because of a typo.

Yes, I do know that I'm crazy.

* * *

There's more blood pooled in the sink today.  But I washed it out of our hair - and it wasn't ours.  Never ours... save for once.

This was just some stranger with a pretty ring - pretty and delicate that fits your little fingers perfectly.

I'll turn the water on.  Waste of perfectly lovely blood... but you don't like that sort of thing, do you?

You never did, anyway...

Don't look at it, then.

Just... don't look.

What am I saying?  You won't look at it.  You never look at it.  Ever since we found each other, all you've done is hide.

Stop hiding!  I'm sick of it!  I'm sick of you!  I hate you!

You don't care.  You shut me out and you ignore me, and it's really pissing me off, dammit!  How dare you ignore me?!

I know you're in there.  You're huddled behind your soul room door, and everything in here is still and quiet and cold and empty and dark.

Coward.

Come out and face the light that you're supposed to be.

Or are you too weak for even that?

Come out, go to school, make your little friends smile and nod, come out and take a breath of fresh air... I won't hurt you, you know that... can't have you damaged, no, no, we can't have that...

Wake up, little one, wake up and smile?  Just a smile is all I ask... is that so much to do?

A smile for the one you love?

You'd better love me, little one.  You'd better.

Pretty little one... come out and play - I can play, I can do it, just watch, haven't you seen what I've brought for you?

There are diamonds in your bed, pretty one, strung in your hair and slicked with blood, rubies and emeralds heaped at your feet if only you would open your eyes and see... why won't you see?

Don't you know that I love you?

I killed them for you, you know.  All those thieves and liars... my own kind, old friends long gone, and I did it all for you, so you would be safe, so no one could ever ever hurt you...

Stop hiding!  You're safe, damn it, you're safe now!  Haven't I told you that you're mine?!  Everyone knows, why won't you come out and let me own you?

Yadonushi?

Little one, are you there?

Hell.  Where else would you be?  You won't fucking move!  Not for life or death or hope or hate or me!

Get up!

...fuck this.  I should give up on you.  Why the hell do I even bother?  You don't care.

Damn you.  You should just die and put us both out of our misery.  Hell, maybe you'll get stuck in the Ring too, and we'll be linked together for all eternity - no words and no life, but we'll be together forever, and when you're trapped in the suffocating darkness of the Ring, forever is a very long time.

Would you even notice it, little hikari?

Hikari.

Keh.

You've been snuffed out, little one, choked by the shadows and the next thing you know I'll be clinging to the pharaoh's brat for the sake of my own sanity because you sure as hell aren't going to keep me.  At least little Yugi does his job.

At least he takes care of his pharaoh.

Don't you realize that we can't live like this?  I can't die again, but you're sure as hell trying to kill us!

...I'm cold.

Wake up, get out, I need you!  Wake up!

Yadonushi!  I know you're in there!  Stop ignoring me!

...yadonushi?

...why won't you get up?

* * *

I'm sick of this.

I'm sick of it!

Standing around with your friends and smiling the smile that I haven't seen for months, wearing your clothes and your eyes and your hair and your goddamn sneakers...

I hate it!

All the things I do for you... damn you!

The pharaoh's watching us again, little one.  He knows - and his little one knows us too.

They're keeping our secret - and keeping you safe.

Damn them, they know!  They fucking know!  They understand it, and it's all your fault!  How can you do this to me?  Don't you know how cold I am?!

Wake up!  Gods, get up!  Even if you don't do it for me, do it for you, for us, you have to, I can't do this any more!  I can't!

Yadonushi...

Soft hands seize your (our) pretty fingertips - and, of course, it's Yugi.

His light's not your own - it's not quite right - it's shimmering with gold and sun and rubies and amethyst and high summer and storms - and it tastes like the fucking pharaoh.

But sweet Ra above, it's light and it's light and it's light and it's been so long since I've seen you...

I hate the child, but gods, he's so warm and so alive and so close to being right...

Maybe now I can breathe?

The air tastes strange - the sleek gold shimmering in my eyes isn't your (our) Ring, and it's so wrong to need this fucking brat when I can't have you...

Where are you?

Little one?

Why won't you answer me?

Soft summer sun - pure sweet heat, but it's not you.  Moonlight and starshine and spring - soft enough for my shadows, bright enough for my darkness, and it's been so long since I could drown in you - this child is so bright that his glare hurts my eyes and hurts my self, and I know that you never ever hurt me...

Soft dark hands curve jealously around black leather - all right, pharaoh, all right!  I'll give him back, I'll let you have your goddamn precious Yugi, will that make you happy?

The brat lets go - melts back to where he belongs, cradled in his yami's arms, soft and brilliant and contented and complete, staring at me with those sad sad eyes...

Don't even start, pharaoh.  Just don't.

"Bakura...?  Are you... all right?"

So you let your hikari start instead.  Oh, that's right - you don't fucking care if I wind up dead, it's only little Yugi that cares.

God knows yadonushi doesn't fucking give a damn.

But you, pharaoh... you keep petting your little one and holding him and rubbing your nose against him, and you're looking at me and you're so damn cold that it burns and I just know what you're thinking.

Damn you!  I don't need your fucking pity!

I don't need any of you!

I fucking want you all to die!

The pharaoh just glares at me and nuzzles up close close close to his pretty little hikari - and his fucking little aibou snuggles back.

Fuck them both.

When I spin us around and storm out the door and shatter the glass, yadonushi, I'm thinking of you.

When I wrap your pretty hands around that passing stranger's neck and squeeze until he breaks, I'm dreaming that it's you.

And when I drag us home and stare at us in the mirror - your soft moonpale hair drooping with sweat and blood and pain, your pretty brown eyes clouded and our beautiful Ring shimmering with dull despair - I close your eyes and grit your teeth and turn resolutely away.

Damn you, yadonushi.

I hate you.

I miss you.

Come back to me...

Please?

* * *

AN: *innocent smile*

Feedback: mjalta@yahoo.com

On to companion fic, "Frozen" - written by Neko-chan
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