Disclaimer: Don't own the YGO dudes. Heck, I don't even own the title. But I do own the first 6 manga volumes, translated in French, all nice and shiny and leaning on the monitor of my computer. *huggles her manga happily* Everybody say thank you to my daddy for bringing them back from Europe with him, okay?
AN: Okay, peoples. This is not at all related to my other YGO fics. This does, however, deal with my favorite relationship. Yes, it's a Y/Y fic... and it's a bit on the odd side. Not that you'd expect any different from me, ne? I've been kicking this idea around for a week or so - and it's a lovely weird little thing. Anyhoo... I finally got into Yami's head. Beware of a wandering mind.
* * *
It was quiet now.
Yugioh liked the silence, the way it ebbed and flowed and settled into the foundations of the house and seeped into his bones like the phantom touch of long ago desert heat.
Silence. Not even the clock dared tick.
It had been smashed to the ground, though neither of them had noticed.
Strange, how it had happened.
The soft, vulnerable shyness of his light, voice muted as he whispered the damning confession, hiding his flushed face behind his hands immediately after the words tumbled past his trembling lips.
And he - his whole self had frozen in bewilderment, confusion and an odd stomach-twisting feeling tumbling through his soul.
How could it be so?
He didn't - he couldn't - he wasn't - it just... how?!
But then Yugi's eyes had flooded with tears, and he'd flung himself on the bed and buried his face in his pillow, choking on deep, fitful sobs, wretched and jagged and horrible, and he hadn't known what to do.
But he couldn't leave him like that.
He couldn't see him hurt. Not like this. Not now, not ever.
So he had settled at his side, run his hands through that springy hair, and mumbled a confused apology.
It had taken more than an hour for him to coax his light into facing him, still longer to convince him to open his eyes, still more to actually get him to look him in the face.
Desperation and despair had glimmered with bright misery in those clouded violet eyes.
He had sworn never to allow such pain to touch his light, and what had he done?
How could he mend the pieces of a heart he had broken through his own carelessness?
How could he explain himself when he didn't even know how he felt?
He settled for engulfing the smaller boy in a tight hug and whispering nonsense into his hair, trying to calm the tears and ease the hurt he had inadvertently caused.
But Yugi had pushed him away.
He'd tumbled from the bed in shock, hurt and confused, gaping up at the red-eyed form of his aibou, tears streaming anew down his face, his pain shivering down their link with agonizing clarity.
All he could think of was making his light feel better.
So he'd pounced again, tackling him down to the bed sheets, making sure he couldn't escape. Yugi had stared up at him, eyes wide and shimmering, body frozen and threaded with tension. Hurt and uncertainty swirled palpably around him - how could he have done this?!
Ra, he didn't matter, but Yugi...!
He gave in to the guilt, burying his face into his light's shoulder, pouring apologies and unsure explanations into his other's heartbroken soul, trying to ease the pain of a mortal wound.
Small hands cupped his cheeks. Had he been crying?
But Yugi had given him a soft, understanding smile, looking so sweet and forgiving but feeling such agonizing pain...
That he'd done what he had never thought he would do.
The only thing that would restore a shattered heart - and restore the strength of their soul bond.
His first kiss in millennia tasted of tears and hurt and need. But the urgency of the slender body underneath his was so strong he was nearly startled, and the brush of Yugi's mind was so desperate and starving that he just couldn't leave him.
And he hadn't.
The little one now lay soft and warm against his chest, thick lashes closed in exhausted sleep, breath ghosting as softly over his skin as his slender fingers had not an hour before.
...oh mighty pharaoh, what have you done?
He stared with blank eyes at the ceiling, barely conscious of anything outside of the humid confines of Yugi's bed, now his as much as it was its original owner.
So this was the way it would be. It wasn't bad - no, far from it - when his most precious possession looked up at him with such love and trust, when he cried and whimpered in pleasure, when his eyes glowed with adoration and hunger and need - no, not bad at all.
Different, to be sure - he had known, of course, that the child would fall into someone's arms eventually - had already methodically planned the demise of the first careless lover - but he had never dreamed that the first lover might be himself.
But had he wanted it to be another?
No - another might have hurt his gentle soul, the hands of another being might have bruised that pale skin, the lack of understanding from one who did not share his soul might have no care for his sensitive emotions.
Who else but himself?
Would he have allowed another? Let another's bond overlay his own? Let another stake a claim on the beautiful soul of his light? ...no.
...perhaps he was too jealous. But Yugi belonged to he and he alone.
Had it been his fault, then? Had his softer side learned what he himself had not, that he would not and could not share the other half of his soul? Had Yugi realized the futility of seeking the embrace of another? By Ra, had he driven him to this?!
The boy at his side cooed softly, nuzzling against his chest, brow furrowed.
The darkness leaned down and brushed his lips against that fair skin, sensing the niggling worry vanish, comfort settling drowsily down in its wake.
...no.
He had promised the sweet one once, and he would never break that promise for life nor death.
Had Yugi wanted to run, he would have fled, and Yugioh would not have stopped him.
So why...?
No. It couldn't be that. Could it? No... but why else?
Yugi had said the words with his heart in his throat, poured out the secrets he had hidden, and had silently begged for reciprocation that the pharaoh wasn't sure he could give.
But he had tried.
He had to keep trying, for the sake of both of them.
Even though he didn't know how.
He'd never been entrusted with the heart of another - he had toyed with their minds and souls, played games with their very lives - but the heart was something as foreign as the world he found himself wandering, utterly lost without the guidance of his light.
Odd, really. He was the protector, the master of shadows and power, and yet everything revolved around his other, gentler self.
Yugi was the crux of everything.
His breath caught at the realization - even if none other would recognize it, if they never discovered the truth - it was true.
This frail, beautiful creature, so strong in so many ways, so delicate in so many others - this strange being... was the world.
He wondered why it had taken him so long to discover. The Game King did not let anything slip past his notice - save that which his other wished to keep hidden.
That was it, then.
Everything. Forever.
How could he have missed it?
He turned his eyes from the ceiling down to the angel curled up in his arms.
Exquisitely beautiful, pale skin glowing like moonstone in the darkness, gentle and warm and perfect, soft bangs clinging damply to his face, slender body pressed flush against his own, shameless and vulnerable.
How could he have...?
How had that innocence been so darkened by need?
How could this sweetness have loved the darkness?
...and how could he ever learn to love him in return?
The pharaoh nearly buckled under the force of his own despair. What now? He knew in his heart of hearts that he would not allow another's touch to mar the porcelain skin of the one he had taken, knew that Yugi would never flee from his side, knew that somehow he had damned himself by falling into the light...
Or had he?
He let his fingers trace along the soft curve of his mouth, smooth down rumpled golden bangs, cup his chin and tilt his face towards his own.
Was it truly so wrong? Yugi had needed him.
Still needed him.
And that was all that mattered.
He could be happy like this.
He would be happy like this.
Yugioh buried his face into the fragrant hair of his light, tightening his grip around his slender body, resettling the younger boy against him with a soft sigh. Yugi gave an incoherent mumble and cuddled closer, purring in soft contentment.
Yes. This was right.
Anything for his precious light.
Anything.
* * *
And somewhere, hidden within the deepest recesses of his mind, a solemn magician methodically destroyed the ornate painting of a beautiful young girl whose form was alight with the radience of heaven.
"Is it right?" came the soft question from the warrior at his side, his leaf-green eyes muted in thought.
He turned away from the destruction, unwilling to face what he had done. "You know how much they need each other."
A soft, sad smile curved the firm lips of the elf. "And so he gives up everything for him?"
The magician shook his head, long tresses tumbling into his pale face, voice quiet with resolve. "He doesn't have a choice."
The guardian hesitated. "...he could..."
The other snorted. "He would never hurt the young master. You know that."
He sighed heavily. "I know. We all know."
"That's just the way it is. It's the way he is."
The elf bowed his head in resignation. "Yes... I know."
* * *
It had been many millennia since last he had made a vow such as this.
But he bowed his head beneath the watchful skies and whispered an eternal promise, a simple declaration he had first crafted beneath the quiet of a desert night a lifetime ago while he waited for something he was certain he could never find. The words fell with easy familiarity from his lips as he spoke in a voice far softer than any mortal could hear.
"Ra, lord of heaven, I do pray you hear my words. Now does the darkness claim the light, now do I seal myself, your divine son, to the innocence that I have found. Bless this eternal union of souls, and look with favor upon your children, now and forever. I take this mortal as my soul bonded, never to stray from his side, never to let the world wound nor slight him. This do I swear on my father and my father's father, and the crown and glory of my kingdom, under the guidance of Ra and all of the gods, for now and for eternity."
The boy in his arms stirred restlessly as the ancient magic settled in his soul, shimmering to rest on the already inseparable bond that tied them to forever and each other.
Yugioh closed his eyes with a sigh, exhausted.
They could be happy now.
Yes. All would be well.
The darkness kissed the other's closed eyelids and whispered another prayer against the softness of his skin. Right now he was still a bit hesitant, but he would learn soon enough, he knew. It was inevitable. He loved him so much already, to go even further and truly adore him, cherish him more than any other lover ever could... It would be easy. So easy...
Yes, they could be happy now.
He didn't notice the solitary tear that escaped him as he drowsily curled up around his newly claimed love.
The darkness of the night was warm and soft and safe. Yugioh let his lips brush the other's in soft promise as he drifted off to sleep, finally certain of his path.
...happy now.
* * *
AN: *sheepish grin* Er... don't kill me?
Send allayer feedback ta mjalta@yahoo.com. You know you wanna.