EnsTren: ...*turns seto into a girl*
Edmondia: ...why?
EnsTren: sheseth and sheseto
Edmondia: O_o;;
EnsTren: what?
Edmondia: so is sheseto paired with heseth?
EnsTren: I guess
Edmondia: and they make babies?
EnsTren: Seto doesn't want babies
EnsTren: I think she's a transvestite
Edmondia: really?
Edmondia: easier to succeed in the business world as a young man, I suppose
EnsTren: yeah
EnsTren: maybe even hormonal treatments
Edmondia: hm
Edmondia: well, Seto's a feminine guy anyway...
Edmondia: so the change wouldn't be much different
EnsTren: right
Edmondia: I can see her getting twitchy when Seth shows up
EnsTren: eek! A GUY!
EnsTren: gah!
EnsTren: Gozaburo!
EnsTren: he got his little heir and found out he was a she
EnsTren: now that's not a perfect heir, and he already agreed to adopt them
EnsTren: sooo... he forced Seto onto hormonal treatments
Edmondia: ah
Edmondia: so she looks very boyish
EnsTren: right
EnsTren: and can't get off the treatments easily cause she's been kept on them since the onset of puberty
Edmondia: mmmhmm
EnsTren: *pets Seto*
Edmondia: and then she gets Seth
Edmondia: and everything goes boom
EnsTren: right
Edmondia: and she freaks
EnsTren: and miraculously manages to keep it a secret from Seth for a while
Edmondia: but she gets flustered when Seth openly starts flirting with her
EnsTren: definitely
Edmondia: Does he know? Is he gay? But she's not a boy! What if he is gay, and when he finds out, doesn't like her anymore?
EnsTren: I don't know what to do!
Edmondia: exactly
Edmondia: and it's not like she has anyone to confide in
EnsTren: right
EnsTren: oooh
Edmondia: ?
EnsTren: if Seth finds out and tries to confide in Atemu...
Edmondia: mmm...?
EnsTren: I can honestly see Seto threatening, if not trying, to kill him
EnsTren: "That secret means more to me than life itself, if you tell anyone, I WILL kill you."
Edmondia: yipe
EnsTren: yeah
EnsTren: shaking in fear and rage
Edmondia: Seth more than a bit taken aback
EnsTren: and Seto maybe commenting that she might just kill herself as well
Edmondia: Seth trying to calm her down
EnsTren: Seto still twisting his neck around so far it's painful
Edmondia: Seth quietly repeating that he won't tell no matter what
EnsTren: "I'll kill you, I'll kill me, I'll kill both of us, do you understand me?" Not really hearing him, not trusting him, emotions churning like her name--turmoil.
EnsTren: All dark and spiked with fear and hate and confusion.
Edmondia: "I understand you, pretty light." His arms snaked around her waist. "It's all right, I won't tell anyone."
EnsTren: She let up--bit by bit on his head, fingers still digging into his jaw and the back of his head--willing and ready to snap his neck like a twig. "Promise?"
Edmondia: "I promise."
EnsTren: "I don't trust you," she whispered again, pressing up against his back.
Edmondia: "I give you my word," he murmured, squeezing her hip. "That is all I can swear to you."
EnsTren: She tensed and turned his head a fraction more around. "Don't touch me there! Y-you just want me that way." She is terribly paranoid about that--she has had enough old men leering after her body when they think she's a boy--if they knew she was a girl?!
Edmondia: He removed his hand, staring quietly ahead. "Is it so terrible to know that I find you physically and mentally appealing?"
EnsTren: "No one does, so shut up! You were going to tell my secret to your cousin!"
Edmondia: "In the hopes that he could give me some advice, yes."
EnsTren: She pulled his head tighter, and from the corner of his eye he could see the tears welling in hers. "I hate you!"
Edmondia: "...I suppose this would be a bad time to tell you that I think I'm falling in love with you."
EnsTren: "You - just... like them--And..!" She pulls more and then abruptly lets go and shoves him away. "I HATE YOU!"
Edmondia: His eyes slitted as he regained his footing. "Like who?"
EnsTren: "Like them! The ones that stare at me, the God damned lechers! If they knew... if they knew I was really... what I am--Kami-sama..."
Edmondia: Seth snarled, darting over to gently catch her shoulders. "Give me names, pretty light, names and faces."
EnsTren: "I can take care of myself!"
Edmondia: "You don't have to."
EnsTren: "Well I do! I've been taking care of myself for a long time!"
Edmondia: "You have me now."
EnsTren: "I don't need you, all I need is Mokuba and myself--you were going to tell my secret!"
Edmondia: "You might not need but, but you have me. And I don't know what to do with you."
EnsTren: "We're not having sex, that's for sure."
Edmondia: "Perhaps not yet," he agreed, sliding a bit closer, "But I know next to nothing about females."
EnsTren: Seto moved further away and balled her fists up.
Edmondia: He raised an eyebrow. "I'm not going to fight with you, pretty light."
EnsTren: "That will make it easier for me to kick your ass then."
Edmondia: He shrugged and stood back. "As you would.'
EnsTren: Seto relaxed slightly. So what, she had issues an felt incredibly threatened by men--she could still kick their asses.
Edmondia: Seth looked at her curiously. "Are you going to beat me up now?"
EnsTren: "Only if you come close and try to touch me or something like that."
Edmondia: He blinked. "I like coming close and touching you."
EnsTren: "I don't like it! I had to let you before because if I didn't you might get a hint. However, since you already know there's no reason for me to allow it."
Edmondia: "Why don't you like it?"
EnsTren: "You're male."
Edmondia: "And?"
EnsTren: "Do you think," he voice cracked, "I wanted to be this way?"
Edmondia: He looked away, eyes dark. "I did."
EnsTren: "I didn't. I got Mokuba and I adopted--and he thought he was getting a boy to be his perfect heir."
EnsTren: "So--he forced me to take shots--I was ten--so I would be like a boy and stay like that."
Edmondia: "You're not a boy."
EnsTren: "But like one. My voice changed, I didn't grow breasts or menstruate--and now I'm trapped like this. Because if anyone finds out who knows what will happen to my business."
Edmondia: He looked at her calmly. "I'm not a threat to you, pretty light."
EnsTren: "And it might be dangerous--I can never have children now, I can never be what and who I was supposed to be."
EnsTren: "You know the truth and that makes you a threat!"
Edmondia: "I am yours, and not a threat to you."
EnsTren: "You were going to tell."
Edmondia: "The one person I may yet love more than you."
EnsTren: "I can't trust you--I can't trust anyone. I think Mokuba has forgotten by now that I used to be his big sister, not brother."
Edmondia: "You can trust me."
EnsTren: "No I can't."
Edmondia: He stepped closer. "You can."
EnsTren: And she fell back into a defensive stance, a snarl on her face.
Edmondia: He sighed. "You are impossible."
EnsTren: "I hate you."
Edmondia: "I'm falling in love with you."
EnsTren: "Liar."
Edmondia: He gave her a bemused look. "Why would I lie to you?"
EnsTren: "Everyone lies, and love... love is not something for me."
Edmondia: "I won't lie about how I feel about you."
EnsTren: "I hate you."
Edmondia: He looked at her calmly. "That you may, but it's not stopping me from falling in love with you."
EnsTren: "Just... don't speak of this, and don't touch me."
Edmondia: He sighed. "I am sorry that I make you uncomfortable."
EnsTren: Seto refused to look at him.
Edmondia: He ventured another step closer. "At least let me take care of you...?"
EnsTren: Seto took a step away, "I can take care of myself."
Edmondia: He stilled. "I have nothing else to give you."
EnsTren: "Did I ask you for anything?"
Edmondia: "You have not the need. I should be able to give you whatever you desire."
EnsTren: "Then what, oh great high priest, do I desire?"
Edmondia: He looked at her, an expression of resigned sadness on his face. "I wish I knew."
EnsTren: "For you not to tell my secrets and not to touch me."
Edmondia: "I have sworn that I will not."
EnsTren: "Then we're all happy then."
Edmondia: His lips twisted bitterly. "In some respects."
EnsTren: "Then go jack off."
Edmondia: He blinked at her. "Go... what?"
EnsTren: "Masturbate."
Edmondia: His nose wrinkled. "That is completely unappealing."
EnsTren: "It's the only relief you're going to get."
Edmondia: He raised an eyebrow. "Do you truly think sex is all I care about?"
EnsTren: "It's on the top ten list of all the males I've seen above the age of puberty."
Edmondia: "I'm hardly an average man."
EnsTren: "Not anymore than I am.
Edmondia: His lips curled into a smile. "If I were a woman, my life would have been much happier. You are the lucky one."
EnsTren: "I'm LUCKY!? I'm not even a woman--not really. My doctors said I probably wouldn't be able to have children naturally."
Edmondia: He smiled. "There are ways around that, pretty light."
EnsTren: "You and me and my doctors, you're the only ones that know."
Edmondia: "That's all right."
EnsTren: "I hate you--you're what I should be."
Edmondia: "I love you - you're what I wanted to be."
EnsTren: "No I'm not."
Edmondia: He gave her a long, quiet look, admiration shining in his eyes. "Oh?"
EnsTren: "Somehow I don't think you wanted to be forced to grow breasts but not have the abilities of a male and forced to live a lie."
Edmondia: He snorted softly. "I lived a lie anyway, what would another one matter?"
EnsTren: "I hate this, I hate this, my skin feels alien."
Edmondia: "Tell me what to do to make it better."
EnsTren: "It can't ever get better."
Edmondia: "I don't believe that."
EnsTren: "I have to stay a boy"
Edmondia: "Not all the time."
EnsTren: "Yes all the time!"
EnsTren: "I have to take the goddamn shots everyday."
Edmondia: "Even if you do, you don't have to be like that all the time. When you're safe at home... we can fix it."
EnsTren: She shook her head, "No. I don't even know how to be a girl, a woman. And even if I did it would be like giving a sip of water to a man in the desert and taking the canteen away."
EnsTren: "It would make me weak--and I won't give you that hold over me."
Edmondia: He sighed and looked away. "You are too cynical, my light."
EnsTren: "Can you blame me?"
Edmondia: "It makes me sad."
EnsTren: "That I'm not your Ra-damned perfect light?"
Edmondia: He shook his head. "That you won't let me make you happy."
EnsTren: She snorted inelegantly.
Edmondia: He looked at her sadly. "I really think I'm in love with you."
EnsTren: "Then go look at your cousin to remember."
Edmondia: He laughed. It was not a pleasant sound. "You really do hate me."
EnsTren: "I have said that--haven't I?"
Edmondia: "I should hate you for doing this to me."
EnsTren: "Please do, it would make everything much more simple."
Edmondia: "Believe me, I'm trying."
EnsTren: Seto snorted again.
Edmondia: "It would make me much happier to hate you."
EnsTren: "Sounds lovely."
Edmondia: He smiled again. "Doesn't it, though? I might even be able to justify violating you then, wouldn't that be lovely?"
EnsTren: She flinched and subtly shifted her weight. "All men are the same," she growled lowly and left the room--not once turning her back on him.
EnsTren: Because in truth it was her greatest fear.
Edmondia: "You could make me into what I hate the most. Doesn't that make you happy, sweet light?" he called after her.
EnsTren: He did not see her the rest of the day--though he felt her eyes upon him at all times.
Edmondia: It did little to ease the ache in his heart.
EnsTren: Her greatest fear, rape and being found out when they went to do so--and it was already half fufilled.
Edmondia: He laughed at the irony. He laughed until he cried, and laughed until his voice went hoarse. The gods had truly forsaken him now.
EnsTren: And in his darkest most hated dreams and nightmares that's exactly what he did to her.
Edmondia: He woke up screaming that night.
EnsTren: And he knew she knew what he dreamed of.
Edmondia: He wondered if she dreamed them, too.
EnsTren: He very nearly threw up at the thought, but realize that it couldn't be true, and clung to that realization that the dream Seto couldn't be his Seto.
EnsTren: Because that Seto in his dreams, some times she broke, sometimes she killed herself--and sometimes she cleaved to him.
Edmondia: He nearly threw up again at the thought.
EnsTren: Beacuse the thought that his mind could conceive - twist her so much though his whims and wishes was disguating. She would never want him.
Edmondia: It was pathetic how much that relieved him and made him cry.
EnsTren: She would enjoy being with him as much as he enjoyed being with them.
Edmondia: This time, he did throw up.
EnsTren: And that night he was sure he was in one of her nightmares.
Edmondia: If he had anything left in his stomach, he would have vomited again.
EnsTren: That either of them could conceive that he could abase and demean and hurt her so?
EnsTren: Either that was her fear, or it was within himself that such vileness sprung.
Edmondia: ...it had to be him. He was already tainted.
EnsTren: Because it was a stab to the heart for him to even think she could have a nightmare of him being that way to her.
Edmondia: They had been right about him all along.
EnsTren: He needed to talk to someone.
Edmondia: But she wouldn't let him cleave to her.
EnsTren: Maybe Atemu? He didn't have to tell cousin that Seto was female.
Edmondia: ...what if Atemu was as disgusted with himself as he was?
EnsTren: He curled in on himself and pondered this.
EnsTren: He hadn't done anything... yet.
Edmondia: ...maybe Atemu could save him?
EnsTren: Yes.
Edmondia: He was not yet damned...
EnsTren: He had to go see Atemu.
Edmondia: Would his hikari mind?
EnsTren: He could go beg her for permission, maybe?
Edmondia: Yes. He could.
EnsTren: So he went.
Edmondia: And he begged.
EnsTren: And he groveled.
Edmondia: And he was very careful not to step too close or let his voice go harsh.
EnsTren: She still pulled slightly away and told him to go.
Edmondia: So he thanked her and he went.
EnsTren: And he went to his cousin, perhaps to grovel again.
Edmondia: Atemu wouldn't mind his groveling.
EnsTren: Atemu probably missed people groveling to him.
EnsTren: So he went to cousin and hugged him tight.
Edmondia: Atemu blinked at him and hugged him back and asked him what was wrong.
EnsTren: And he told him about the dreams.
Edmondia: And Atemu frowned and held him and told him that they were only dreams, and that he knew he would never ever hurt Seto that way.
EnsTren: But Seto was afraid of it, and wouldn't let him touch...
Edmondia: Atemu held him while he cried.
EnsTren: He told him he was disgusting.
Edmondia: Atemu told him he wasn't.
EnsTren: He admitted that he thought he wanted to hurt Seto like that.
Edmondia: And Atemu asked him why.
EnsTren: Because S-seto was fearful of it, and would not allow him to touch at all now.
Edmondia: And Atemu asked him if he thought that was a good thing.
EnsTren: He admitted he didn't know.
Edmondia: Atemu kissed his cheek and told him to give it time.
Edmondia: And told him that he knew he would never hurt Seto.
EnsTren: Seto feared him though, wouldn't let him come within an armslength.
Edmondia: Atemu stroked his hair and sighed. "You must give him time to get used to you, cousin."
EnsTren: He bit his lip, not he, she. But he couldn't say that.
EnsTren: "Hates me..."
Edmondia: "He's frightened, right now. He needs to know that you won't hurt him, and this isn't helping. Give him time, cousin."
EnsTren: "But these... images come from within me..."
Edmondia: "Your fears entangle with your memories."
EnsTren: "Are you sure? Sometimes... the dreams, nightmares... sometimes I break my hikari, sometimes my hikari cleaves to me and says... likes it..."
Edmondia: "Do you really think he would be so broken?"
EnsTren: "Maybe."
Edmondia: "That won't make him love you, cousin."
EnsTren: "But hikari doesn't..."
Edmondia: "Hurting him won't help either of you."
EnsTren: "I know, I wish I didn't have it in me to hurt hikari..."
Edmondia: He cradled him gently. "You won't, cousin, you won't."
EnsTren: "I crave the light, and I can barely have any... I frighten... fears, hates..."
Edmondia: "Give him time, cousin. Give him time."
EnsTren: He closed his eyes and bowed his head.
Edmondia: Atemu held him close and stroked his hair. "He has to learn that you won't hurt him. He has to get used to you."
EnsTren: He sighed.
Edmondia: "And you have to learn to trust in yourself."
EnsTren: "Hikari... threatened to kill me."
Edmondia: He squeezed him. "Do you think he will?"
EnsTren: "If I do... what he didn't want me to, yes."
Edmondia: "Will you?"
EnsTren: "No... Hikari... I... my first instinct was to come to you but given time to think hikari... has the reason to... ban that from me... has utmost right."
Edmondia: He squeezed him again. "Then you must honor his wishes."
EnsTren: "But he would kill me... he pulled my head tight around, less than an inch more and..."
Edmondia: Atemu purred at him, gently rubbing his back.
Edmondia: "But he didn't."
EnsTren: "He would have."
Edmondia: "But he didn't."
EnsTren: "Because I said I wouldn't. Gave my word over and over again."
Edmondia: Atemu squeezed him again. "Are you truly in fear for your life? You know we won't turn you away..."
EnsTren: "I don't know... I fear for both of us."
EnsTren: "Hikari is frightened...terrified of me. I have--fufilled one half of his greatest fear, and I didn't mean to."
Edmondia: "Did you know it at the time you did it?"
EnsTren: "No. But it doesn't change the fact that I did."
Edmondia: "Did you apologize?"
EnsTren: "Yes."
Edmondia: "He hasn't forgiven you."
EnsTren: "How can he? He has threatened to kill me but... I hold something worse than a batsu geemu over his head simply by being."
Edmondia: "Will you kill yourself for him?"
EnsTren: "Yes."
Edmondia: "Does he know?"
EnsTren: "He doesn't believe me."
Edmondia: "How are you going to convince him?"
EnsTren: "Can I? Would you trust someone if they took a gun from your hand and pointed it at your head and said they would kill themselves for you?"
Edmondia: "If it were you I would."
EnsTren: "Hikari does not know me like you do."
Edmondia: "Then teach him."
EnsTren: "Hikari doesn't trust me, Hikari won't let me touch, Hikari hates me."
Edmondia: "Do you love him?"
EnsTren: "I wish I hated him."
Edmondia: Atemu blinked. "What? Why?"
EnsTren: "It would make it easier."
Edmondia: "But then you wouldn't have the chance to win him."
EnsTren: "If I hated hikari then when I violate hikari I won't feel so bad."
Edmondia: He blinked rapidly. "When you what?"
EnsTren: "I will. I know I will."
EnsTren: "I can't even touch hikari!" He cried, "How long... how long until I can't control myself and need... need all of it to go away, until I'm willing to take the light..."
Edmondia: Atemu bit his lip and squeezed him tightly enough that it hurt. "...cousin..."
EnsTren: "I can't touch... It's all dark and hikari is so bright and I can't have any!"
Edmondia: He dug his fingers into his sides. "Breathe, cousin, breathe."
EnsTren: And he did and bit the back of his hand.
Edmondia: Atemu pulled him fully against him and stroked his back. "Calm down, Seth... I'll get Yugi to talk to him, would you like that?"
EnsTren: "N-no! Hikari... it will upset hikari and hikari will be angry and hurt..."
Edmondia: "Seth. Seto needs to know about this."
EnsTren: "Hikari will resent it, having to touch."
Edmondia: "Would you rather upset him or rape him?"
EnsTren: He bit his fingers.
Edmondia: Atemu pulled his fingers out of his mouth. "Well?"
EnsTren: "O-okay..."
Edmondia: "Either you tell him or Yugi does."
EnsTren: "...I can't... hikari won't believe me."
Edmondia: "Then Yugi will stop him at school tomorrow and tell him. And remind him that it doesn't have to be anything unpleasant - you could just sleep in the same bed together, wouldn't have to be conscious at all for it."
EnsTren: His eyes widened comically, "NO! Hikari would hate that, hikari would feel vulnerable--and I would be afraid... my dreams."
Edmondia: "Then you must find another way, if he doesn't want to have you continually petting him."
EnsTren: He bowed his head.
Edmondia: He tilted his head back up. "You know you'll have to touch him no matter what."
EnsTren: "Yes... But I'll kill myself so hikari won't have to deal with it."
Edmondia: "And you think that will make him feel better?"
EnsTren: "...I hope it doesn't... that would mean he cared for me."
Edmondia: Atemu shook his head. "I'm not letting you try."
EnsTren: Seth sighed and nuzzled him.
Edmondia: He nuzzled back. "You deserve the chance to try for happiness with him, cousinn."
EnsTren: "I hope..."
Edmondia: He kissed his cheek. "You will be able to find his heart, cousin."
EnsTren: Seth closed his eyes. I can only pray.
Edmondia: I promise.
EnsTren: He curled against him and closed his eyes.
Edmondia: Atemu held him tight and kissed his hair.
EnsTren: And he prayed.
Edmondia: And Atemu prayed with him.
EnsTren: The gods had forsaken him, but surely they would answer to the pharaoh.
Edmondia: "You will be happy," he breathed against his ear, "I promise you, cousin, you will be happy."
EnsTren: In death.
Edmondia: "Your life is still mine, and I will hold you to it."
EnsTren: "And hikari? What is his then... I have nothing to give him besides my life, my death."
Edmondia: He raised a hand and pressed it against his chest. "Your heart, your soul, your love."
EnsTren: "Hikari barely knows what to do with his own, he has no use for it, he doesn't want it."
Edmondia: "Somewhere deep within himself he needs you. You have to teach him how to love you."
EnsTren: "He doesn't need me, cousin, he's proven it by surviving so long. He doesn't need me to survive. But... maybe if we're both our best, his life could be fuller and better with me. But he doesn't need me."
Edmondia: He shook his head sadly. "You don't understand yet... but he does need you to make himself whole."
EnsTren: He sighed and nuzzled him.
Edmondia: He stroked his hair and kissed his cheek. "Give yourselves time to fall in love, cousin."
EnsTren: "I wish I could tell you..." He sighed.
Edmondia: "You promised," he murmured, "That is more important than anything else."
EnsTren: "I still wish."
Edmondia: "Ask him again later..."
EnsTren: "He'll say no."
Edmondia: "Explain to him why it is so important - and give it time."
EnsTren: "Hikari's life and self is more important than my peace of mind."
Edmondia: "You may yet be able to heal him."
EnsTren: Seth started giggling, a dry, mildly insane giggle.
Edmondia: "Stop that."
EnsTren: "Offered it to hikari... But he wouldn't be able to stay healed all the time."
Edmondia: Atemu frowned and squeezed him hard. "You're not making sense."
EnsTren: "Hikari... can't... hikari is... I can't say"
Edmondia: "That's all right, cousin. You don't have to tell me anything."
EnsTren: "Hikari can never be healed in this world."
Edmondia: "You can heal his heart."
EnsTren: "There are other things "wrong" with hikari..."
Edmondia: "That you can't tell me?"
EnsTren: "Right."
Edmondia: "You'll have to take care of him on your own, cousin."
EnsTren: He sighed.
Edmondia: He nuzzled him. "You can always come here if you need to."
EnsTren: "Maybe."
Edmondia: "Maybe?"
EnsTren: "If hikari doesn't want me to or is afraid... I won't... not without permission."
Edmondia: "You have a standing invitation, however."
EnsTren: "And Hikari? I-is s--he?"
Edmondia: "Is he what?"
EnsTren: "Permission to come too? With me? Or because I upset hikari too much?"
Edmondia: "Of course."
EnsTren: "Okay."
Edmondia: He lifted his chin to look into his eyes. "I'll do my best to make you happy, I promise."
EnsTren: He smiled and cuddled.
Edmondia: Atemu held him tight and stroked his hair.
EnsTren: "Beautiful cousin... I sealed myself to help you and now look."
Edmondia: He smiled. "I'm just happy that you're here."
EnsTren: "Really?"
Edmondia: "Really."
EnsTren: A small smile.
Edmondia: "I love you."
EnsTren: And his smile fell, "I don't want to talk about love right now, Atemu," he pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.
Edmondia: He brushed his lips over his cheek. "Just wanted to make sure you knew, sweet cousin."
EnsTren: The yamis almost delicately nuzzled each other.
Edmondia: And, for a moment, the world was peaceful.
EnsTren: (*takes a moment to indulge in the yummy yami kissage image*)
Edmondia: (heh. yes, pretty)
Edmondia: (and bed)
EnsTren: (nai)
Edmondia: (nai)