Edmondia: ((so, he cooks.))
EnsTren: ((my friend told me abot how tehre were some east german athletes that took horomone pills, prewall fall you know))
EnsTren: ((from an early age, most of them had sex changes later in life.))
Edmondia: ((mmhmm, I've heard about them too))
EnsTren: ((well two things))
Edmondia: ((?))
EnsTren: ((once I'm considering exacerbating Seto's paranoia/phobia combo with some run ins with various forms of child abuse in foster homes))
EnsTren: ((Two I want to frighten Seth by finding Seto reading a pamphlet on sex changes for women))
Edmondia: ((like he's not upset enough already))
EnsTren: ((Seto attracts bad luck, foster homes have many children, prime hunting area for a pedophile))
EnsTren: ((it can stay the same level of upsetness on Seto's side of it))
Edmondia: ((it's unlikely, though - they stayed in the orphanage, there was no mention of fostering))
EnsTren: ((probably because Seto ran away with Mokuba whenever they were fostered (because of the bad luck attraction) so they just stopped))
EnsTren: ((and he ran away if he was separated from Mokuba.))
Edmondia: ((possibly, and not every child in the system is fostered))
EnsTren: ((hmn... I think Seto might have been labled as a "problem child"))
Edmondia: ((he did have a tendency to get in fights))
EnsTren: ((on to idea two, Seth finding Seto browsing sex change information?))
Edmondia: ((he'd spaz))
Edmondia: ((and... she WANTS to be a girl))
EnsTren: ((yes she does, but the changing back and forth and the hormones she takes is fucking with her enough that she's considering it))
Edmondia: ((he's trying to wean her off of them - and would have a whole list of reasons that she gave him for staying a girl))
EnsTren: ((no she has several pills, one that's paired with shots which are male horomones))
EnsTren: ((and others that are sedatives and happy pills))
Edmondia: ((yeah - but her problems can be aided with magic))
EnsTren: ((yes))
Edmondia: ((Seth's rather mistrustful of modern medicine))
EnsTren: ((mostly she's considering some sort of prosthetic so she doesn't have to be paranoid about public bathrooms))
Edmondia: ((stalls))
EnsTren: ((true, but still paranoid, it IS a phobia so it's not rational))
EnsTren: (("What if someone notices that I never use a urinal?!"))
EnsTren: ((heh, she can piss standing up though, it is possible for a girl))
Edmondia: (("Darling, who would notice? Do you regularly go to the bathroom with the same people all the time? And maybe you just don't like using them!"))
EnsTren: ((she'd throw something heavy at him and take back her pamphlets))
Edmondia: ((he'd look offended - "I'm only giving you a decent explanation!"))
EnsTren: ((And she'd growl.))
Edmondia: (("It makes things less complicated for you!"))
EnsTren: (("That's why I'm considering one!"))
Edmondia: (("That would make things MORE complicated for you!"))
EnsTren: (("How? I wouldn't have to wory half as much about people noticing that I don't have a dick because I would have one."))
Edmondia: (("But you won't be you!"))
EnsTren: (("It's just a prosthetic, and I'd be able to have it removed."))
Edmondia: (("It's not right."))
EnsTren: (("What do you mean?"))
Edmondia: (("...you're a woman."))
EnsTren: (("NO I'm not."))
Edmondia: (("You are."))
EnsTren: (("I'm not, I want to be and I can pretend I am but I'm not."))
Edmondia: (("You are."))
EnsTren: (("Women have periods and breasts and hips."))
Edmondia: (("Women are the daughters of Hathor and queens of the light, beloved, and that I see when I look on you."))
EnsTren: (("I'm no such thing and you know it."))
Edmondia: (("I would have you as my wife - and I would not wed any less than the most noble of women."))
EnsTren: ((And he knew immediately that he had said the wrong thing.))
Edmondia: ((Again. He was rather good at fucking up.))
EnsTren: (("Then go out on the street to find one," she snarled and tossed many bills from her pocket at him, "As whores are more noble than I."))
EnsTren: ((And she stalked out of the room utterly infuriated.))
Edmondia: ((He raked his hands through his hair and stalked after her. "Beloved, that is not what I meant and well you know it!"))
EnsTren: (("I am not your beloved!"))
Edmondia: (("I haven't fallen in love with anyone else but you!"))
EnsTren: (("I'm your... spirtual powersource or whatever. I'm your ignnoble whore! I am NOT your beloved!"))
Edmondia: (("Then explain how I've managed to fall in love with you!"))
EnsTren: (("Because you are an idiot."))
Edmondia: (("Beloved, that of all things is true."))
EnsTren: ((Her angry steps never faltered.))
Edmondia: ((He sighed again and continued after her. "What man would spend this much time worrying over a whore?"))
EnsTren: (("Obviously you because you're a Man and you are worrying over me. But that might just be the threat I can hold over your head."))
Edmondia: (("Beloved, you hold my life and soul in your hands, what other threat do you need?"))
EnsTren: (("Exactly."))
Edmondia: (("...you're very confusing, beloved."))
EnsTren: (("You say you love me and you worry over me so I won't drop the Millennium Rod over Chernobyl."))
Edmondia: ((He looked very confused. "Over what? I love you because I... I don't know!"))
EnsTren: (("You're a man, and Chernobyl is a disaster area. Like Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but less of a crater and more of the... invisible killing light that I told you about."))
Edmondia: ((He frowned. "What does my being a man have to do with me falling in love with you? And... why would you do something like that?"))
EnsTren: (("I hate you! And Men are incapable of love, they just take and hurt and lust. Not love. And I'd do it to get rid of you!"))
Edmondia: (("I'd agree with you, but I already know better - if I wren't in love with you, I'd have long since left. And... it would not be a good idea, beloved, even though it would make you happy. Otherwise... I would grant whatever you desired."))
EnsTren: (("No you wouldn't."))
Edmondia: (("My life is my pharaoh's, my soul is yours. You may command all but that of me."))
EnsTren: ((Her voice was quiet, speculative, insinuating. "Then why did you ask me for my body in return for lessons?"))
EnsTren: ((And she left him in the hanging silence.))
Edmondia: ((He looked away, and he followed her, his voice low and thick with self-loathing. "Because I'm not strong enough."))
EnsTren: ((If she heard him she gave no indication.))
EnsTren: ((What kind of person was he that he turned his so called "beloved light" into his own personal whore? She mentally seethed.))
Edmondia: ((He darted in front of her, eyes wild. "Didn't you hear me? I thought my answer would please you," he spat, "Gods know I know how pathetic I am."))
EnsTren: ((She brushed past him. If he was the darkness and she was the light weren't they supposed to be somewhat the same? If she cared about Mokuba only half as much as she did she would still stab herself in the throat for him, no questions asked. Obviously she didn't even measure up that much in his rankings.))
Edmondia: (("Do you want me to kill myself? I would but I can't, beloved, please believe me! Just - just tell me what to do to make you happier!"))
EnsTren: ((Her ears were closed to him, and when he darted in front of her he could see the sadness in her eyes that wanted to give form to tears but was not allowed to.))
EnsTren: ((Didn't he give her any happines, any pleasure at all?))
Edmondia: (("Please... please tell me what to do," he begged softly, falling to his knees before her. "I - I don't know what to do, you have to tell me..."))
EnsTren: ((She stepped over him.))
Edmondia: (("Beloved!" He turned and sprang to his feet, and he didn't reach for her even though he wanted to, just kept his pace at her side. "Just listen to me! Tell me what you want!"))
EnsTren: ((She opened her mouth slowly, as if it was cottony and dry. "I don't have to listen to you, that wasn't in our deal. I have everything I need and desire and things that I don't. and what I don't have I could buy."))
Edmondia: (("Must everything fall back to that Set-be-damned deal?! Gods damn me for even proposing such foolishness! There - there has to be something I can do!"))
EnsTren: ((She did not answer him.))
Edmondia: (("...Seto?"))
EnsTren: ((She did not respond. She hated him.))
Edmondia: (("Seto. Tell me what I need to do to make you happy."))
EnsTren: ((No answer. He'd have more luck talking to a wall, because it at least wouldn't move away.))
Edmondia: ((He sighed. "...I am not allowed to kill myself for you, beloved."))
EnsTren: ((She hated him. She feared him. But the worst thing, he realized, was her apathy. The only satisfaction she would get from his death would be that of someone who was threatening to her was gone.))
Edmondia: ((He reached for her, then hesitated. "...I'm sorry, not that it helps anything."))
EnsTren: ((She was gone.))
Edmondia: ((Would it be worth it to chase after her?))
EnsTren: ((Would she even care?))
Edmondia: ((...gods above, he hated this.))
EnsTren: ((And he wished he hated her.))
Edmondia: ((...he hated himself because he couldn't.))
EnsTren: ((He needed to talk to someone--who would talk back.))
Edmondia: ((But nobody knew about her.))
EnsTren: ((...Maybe he could just...leave out her gender? pretend she was a boy and refer to her that way?))
Edmondia: ((That would work, wouldn't it?))
EnsTren: ((He needed reassurance.))
Edmondia: ((Would she hate him again for running to him?))
EnsTren: ((How could she hate him more?))
Edmondia: ((...he should at least tell her.))
EnsTren: ((So he went and told her, and hoped her ears were open enough to hear.))
Edmondia: ((He resisted the urge to kiss her goodbye.))
EnsTren: ((He had already used up his kiss for the day))
Edmondia: ((But he did dare enough to touch her hair.))
Edmondia: (('bye, darling. Love you. And he left.))
EnsTren: ((And she did not answer, but he hoped cousin would.))
Edmondia: ((Cousin would... right?))
EnsTren: ((Cousin was very lucky, so maybe he would.))
Edmondia: ((At least his cousin still loved him... didn't he?))
EnsTren: ((He hoped.))
Edmondia: ((So he ran.))
EnsTren: ((So he found cousin.))
Edmondia: ((And he hesitated to touch him, because... he was filthy again, and... he couldn't tarnish his pharaoh.))
EnsTren: ((So he pulled his hands to his chest, low under his heart and half bowed to him and half curled inwards so nothing of him--not even his eyes, could touch his Pharaoh.))
Edmondia: (("...cousin?"))
EnsTren: (("S-seto hates me."))
Edmondia: ((Atemu knelt down and laid his hand on his shoulder. "What happened?"))
EnsTren: (("C-" he choked on the hard syllable. "Pharaoh, you shouldn't touch me."))
Edmondia: ((Though he couldn't see it, he knew his cousin's eyes slitted. "Give me a good reason, my priest."))
EnsTren: (("I'm filthy."))
EnsTren: (("I'm weak."))
Edmondia: (("You're my cousin. Look at me."))
EnsTren: (("If you knew my sins you would not want me to."))
Edmondia: ((He tugged on his hair. "Confess them, then."))
EnsTren: (("Hikari hates me, hikari fears me. But... hikari wants power so hikari doesn't have to fear as much... Offered me..."))
Edmondia: (("Offered you what?"))
EnsTren: (("Offered lessons and... offered a-anything in-in return. I... I'm weak."))
Edmondia: ((He blinked. "He offered you - him?"))
EnsTren: (("Ye-essss..."))
Edmondia: ((He sighed. "Oh, cousin... and you took him up on it, didn't you?"))
EnsTren: (("Hikari... is a businessperson... argued, contract... But I could... and I'm weak and ss-hikari doesn't even want to kiss me."))
Edmondia: (("He pushed you into it?"))
EnsTren: (("N-nno. I just... hikari offered and I couldn't say no."))
Edmondia: (("Does he understand why?"))
EnsTren: (("I don't know. Hikari doles out touch and light grudgingly as water in a desert, doesn't like me at all."))
Edmondia: (("...you didn't think to put him listening to you into the contract?"))
EnsTren: (("I can change it, can argue more, but... hikari wanted rights to not have to look, to respond to me unless... unless I order."))
Edmondia: (("...and you refuse to order him."))
EnsTren: (("...As much as I can."))
Edmondia: (("...please tell me you didn't sleep with him."))
EnsTren: (("One of us has to keep out pants on at all times."))
Edmondia: (("...you, I assume?"))
EnsTren: (("Yes. I wanted so badly to see all of her."))
Edmondia: (("..."))
Edmondia: (("Is there something you wanted to tell me about your hikari, cousin?"))
EnsTren: ((He shook his head, "Just that hikari hates me and... I can't stop needing hikari so much, I can't say no to the contract and... and I don't know what to do. Hikari calls... whore. Did I really make my hikari into that?"))
Edmondia: (("...it's a weakness we all suffer from."))
EnsTren: (("That's not an answer."))
Edmondia: (("...did you have sex with him?"))
EnsTren: (("Hikari... hikari hates me. Fears me. And...apthay, if I could give hikari my life... hikari wouldn't care. I would if hikari would let me, but hikari argued me down."))
Edmondia: (("...so he's ignoring you?"))
EnsTren: (("Yes Pharaoh."))
Edmondia: ((He sighed and slid closer, tugging lightly on his shoulder. "Do you love him?"))
EnsTren: (("Yes."))
Edmondia: (("...does he let you touch him?"))
EnsTren: (("Hikari does but doesn't want me to."))
Edmondia: (("...does he really think of himself as a whore?"))
EnsTren: (("I do not know. It doesn't help th-that I..."))
Edmondia: (("That you...?"))
EnsTren: (("I compared hikari disfavorably to... them, the whores, the ones I knew."))
Edmondia: (("And he didn't let you explain why?"))
EnsTren: (("I didn't explain why, I said that I knew whores more noble than my own hikari."))
Edmondia: (("...you insulted his pride, then."))
EnsTren: (("I insulted everything my hikari has ever given up of himself in Mokuba's name. And hikari didn't care, hikari can't hate me more than hikari does."))
Edmondia: (("Oh, my poor cousin..." he sighed, and gently tucked him against his chest, "Did you at least apologize to him?"))
EnsTren: (("Hikari won't listen."))
Edmondia: (("...make him."))
EnsTren: (("Already make my hikari do so much he doesn't want to..."))
Edmondia: (("...oh cousin..." Atemu squeezed him gently, "Throw yourself at his feet and repent, if he lets you."))
EnsTren: (("Hikari stepped over me."))
Edmondia: (("...don't take advantage of him again, cousin - just touch if he lets you, as you need to."))
EnsTren: ((Seth was trembling so hard, "C-can't."))
Edmondia: (("Can't touch or can't stop yourself?"))
EnsTren: (("Not allowed to touch so often, and now can't barely stop myself."))
Edmondia: (("Ah... apologize every time you touch?"))
EnsTren: (("Hikari closes ears to me, doesn't... not even my existance. Hikari hates me."))
Edmondia: (("Ah, cousin..." he cradled him close and stroked his hair. "I don't know what to tell you... stay near him if you must."))
EnsTren: (("Cousin... You took the darkness away from him so he could clean his soul and put it back together. But you didn't take away the source from which the darkness sprung, what lays the seed in my hikari's heart."))
Edmondia: (("...his lessons?"))
EnsTren: (("Not just... Hikari lives every day with fear cousin..."))
Edmondia: (("Of what?"))
EnsTren: (("Can't say. I promised."))
Edmondia: (("Are you not training him to ease that fear?"))
EnsTren: (("But there still be things to fear."))
EnsTren: (("I could still hurt him."))
Edmondia: (("...he doesn't trust you."))
EnsTren: ((A nod.))
Edmondia: (("And you haven't done very well in seeking his trust?"))
EnsTren: (("Hikari's mind is clever and poised and will find fault in anything I offer or do."))
Edmondia: (("...I'm sorry..."))
EnsTren: (("I... I don't know what to do, what I should have done what I did wrong.))
Edmondia: ((Soft hands slid soothingly through his hair. "I'm sorry... just support him and love him and do whatever you can to make him happier."))
EnsTren: (("B-but... Hikari doesn't... need my support, hikari... Even my death would not please hikari."))
Edmondia: (("That doesn't mean you can't offer it to him, cousin," he murmured gently, "Tend to him, run him baths, bring him his clothes and feed him when he forgets to eat..."))
EnsTren: (("Hikari throws up because of his fright and hate and sickness of me."))
Edmondia: (("Leave him breakfast, then."))
Edmondia: (("Leave him things where he can't avoid them. Sooner or later he will realize that... well, that you want something from him."))
EnsTren: (("Should I stop sleeping in the same bed as hikari?" He despaired for he feared the answer.))
Edmondia: (("...you can't, can you?")
EnsTren: (("I'd try."))
Edmondia: (("...maybe once a week?"))
EnsTren: (("I only get kisses once a day with no tongue."))
Edmondia: (("Ah..." he kissed his cheek gently, "Poor cousin... does he know how much you need him?"))
EnsTren: (("He doles out his light counted to the second so I can survive."))
Edmondia: (("...at least he doesn't actively try to kill you."))
EnsTren: (("Hikari would if... If I told things."))
Edmondia: (("Then don't. Just... care for him.")
EnsTren: (("Hikari is so frightening, she frightens me and I am frightened of hikari and for hikari."))
Edmondia: ((His eyes softened. "Ah... I see." And he kissed his cheek again. "You love her but she's afraid of you."))
EnsTren: ((Seth stiffened in his arms as his cousin's words touched him, realized... And he wailed, "Nooooo!" He covered his face and started to cry. He had somehow revealed it, his hikari's secret and oh she and...))
Edmondia: ((Ssh, cousin, ssh... He tucked him against his chest more protectively and rocked him gently, It's all right, sweet cousin, I won't tell anyone, I'll help you protect her, it's all right...))
EnsTren: ((Seth was wound up in deepest despair, just like his hikari. He could not stop crying for he had betrayed her.))
Edmondia: ((He held him tight and rocked him like a child. It's okay, cousin, you needed to tell... it's all right, nobody else has to know. I can help you, you know I can, it's okay...))
EnsTren: ((He shook his head as his sobs rocked his form. He had not seen sobs like this in his cousin since... since they were children.))
Edmondia: ((...poor cousin, poor cousin. He held him tight and rocked him close and kissed his hair. I'll take care of you... it's all right, it's all right, I won't hurt her or you, I promise...))
EnsTren: ((She kept it from me, I didn't know for months, can you even comprehend how closely she guards that secret now?!))
Edmondia: ((I understand, cousin, I understand, it's all right, it's all right... I won't tell anyone else, you don't have to tell her...))
EnsTren: ((He balked at the idea of lying to her, she distrusted him enough alerady. She'll kill you, she'll ruin your life and Yugi's and everyones. She doesn't trust you.))
Edmondia: ((...then that is what will happen.))
EnsTren: ((So afraid so very afraid. Hikari doesn't want to be like this!))
Edmondia: ((I know, I know... it's not fair, I know...))
EnsTren: ((He showed his cousin what he saw, that black inescapable terror of him, that grew up so close to his core.))
Edmondia: ((His cousin rubbed his back and stroked his hair and kissed his cheek.))
EnsTren: ((Seth flinched. He didn't deserve that after his betrayal.))
Edmondia: (("You didn't mean to do it, cousin... and... I'm willing to accept the consequences."))
EnsTren: (("I'm ss-sorry Pharaoh... I don't know... she'll kill me."))
Edmondia: (("It's all right... is that what you want?"))
EnsTren: (("I deserve to be locked up in the item for eternity."))
Edmondia: (("You'll hurt her."))
EnsTren: (("She's going to kill us."))
Edmondia: (("...I won't let her hurt Yugi, cousin."))
EnsTren: (("You'd be surprised what money can do, cousin."))
Edmondia: (("We'll go home with you, cousin - she won't be able to hurt Yugi."))
EnsTren: (("She can make sure none of his family can find work."))
Edmondia: (("Cousin, Yugi... you may have to order her to be still, but he can calm her."))
EnsTren: (("She... the agreement... only in bed when we are completely alone, and, I said I wouldn't tie or bind her."))
Edmondia: (("Yugi will need to touch her - we have to keep her somewhere where she can't run."))
EnsTren: ((Seth fidgeted. "She'll be ill."))
Edmondia: (("We'll be gentle with her."))
EnsTren: (("All of us near, when she's tied up, it will make her ill she'll be so fearful."))
Edmondia: (("You said it yourself, if we don't she'll hurt us."))
EnsTren: (("I'm afraid of what will happen in her mind if we frighten her too much. She... takes pills."))
Edmondia: (("...so you go in on your knees and apologize first, and then ask her if she'd like to see Yugi?"))
EnsTren: (("Tied up?"))
Edmondia: (("No, just... blocking the door, not tying her up. Make sure she's holding Mokuba.))
EnsTren: (("I'm afraid."))
Edmondia: (("I know you are, cousin, I know you are..."))
EnsTren: ((He made plans, to make sure Seto had fasted because he had seen animals in such a fright that they lost control of their bowels and he knew his hikari threw up.))
Edmondia: (("And we tell her as soon as possible, as carefully as possible - and warn Mokuba beforehand."))
EnsTren: (("...I don't know if Mokuba knows."))
Edmondia: (("He does. He has to."))
EnsTren: (("Why?"))
Edmondia: (("Because he knows more than he lets on, more than even his sister realizes." Atemu pressed another kiss to his cheek. "Trust in him, cousin, he could prove your best ally."))
EnsTren: ((He bowed his head and wept bitter tears.))
Edmondia: ((Atemu held him close and rocked him gently. It's all right, cousin, it's all right... I still love you, and she still needs you.))
EnsTren: ((Sobs were his only answer.))
Edmondia: ((He rocked him and kissed his hair and held him warm and tight in his arms. ...I forgive you, he whispered, My priest, I forgive your sins and love you still.))
EnsTren: ((He could not hear him.))
Edmondia: (("Cousin, I forgive you," he whispered, and kissed his cheek again.))
EnsTren: ((He did not deserve forgiveness, his greatest promise to his hikari, to whom he had begged and kneeled and groveled and promised and wept with for hours just to get that glimmer of trust. Gone.))
Edmondia: (("You didn't do it intentionally, cousin - I shouldn't have mentioned it."))
EnsTren: ((Betrayal.))
Edmondia: ((Unintentional.))
EnsTren: ((Liar. He was a liar and a betrayer and a traitor.))
Edmondia: ((And you repent your sins and I forgive you.))
EnsTren: She won't.

Edmondia: (they'd have to - what if they didn't touch her?)
Edmondia: (just came in one by one and apologized?)
Edmondia: (Seth comes in, apologizes profusely, doesn't look at her, refutes all claims on her body, and quietly invites her to kill him)
EnsTren: (she would)
EnsTren: (she'd jump on him and drag him away so not to taint mokuba's eyes with death)
Edmondia: (Mokuba would jump on her legs and beg her)
EnsTren: (She'd be shaking so hard and telling Mokuba to let go)
Edmondia: (Mokuba wouldn't)
EnsTren: (Seto would start looking like she's ready to gnaw her own leg off to get away so she can kill seth)
EnsTren: (and then she'd shakily ask Mokuba to close his eyes)
Edmondia: (And Mokuba would scream that his sister was not a killer and he wouldn't let her hurt him)
EnsTren: (and shift her grip to around Seth's neck)
EnsTren: ("I'm already a killer Mokuba.")
Edmondia: ("You're not like that anymore!")
EnsTren: ("Didn't you hear what he did? For hours he begged my forgiveness and trust and this is how he repays me. Close your eyes Mokuba." She started to exert pressure.)
Edmondia: ("Seto STOP IT! He didn't mean to and you know it! Don't you dare hurt him!")
EnsTren: (She was shaking so badly, she was so terrifyingly pale. She hated him hate and hate and hated him and squeezed tighter. She wanted him to suffer slowly.)
Edmondia: (And he darted between them and slung his arms around her waist. "Seto, please! Please don't do this!")
EnsTren: (She paused her pressure, Mokuba's words like a dull roar in her ears, but perhaps that was her blood. Seth was wheezing.)
Edmondia: ("Neesama! Don't hurt him, please don't, it won't make anything better, please listen to me, please?!")
EnsTren: ("It will make it so he can't betray me any more," She ground out and her grip which had loosened slightly started tightening again. That appealed to her, variating the times between breath and asphyxiation for long enough that even if he could breathe he'd still die. She could claim it was an accident then.)
Edmondia: ("He's sorry, neesama! He is! He didn't mean to, please don't hurt him!" he wailed, hiding his face against her stomach, "Please don't do this, please!")
EnsTren: (Seto's eyes were so cold as they bored straight though Seth's and into his soul and found it terribly and horribly wanting.)
EnsTren: (Just stay that way, Mokuba, she thought silently to herself as she squeezed.)
Edmondia: (Let me die for you... Seth begged silently, Just let me give you that, at least...)
EnsTren: (She was willing to let him.)
Edmondia: (Mokuba hit her chest with a tiny fist, pulling back to stare up at his sister, sobbing helplessly. "Please, neesama? Please?!")
EnsTren: (...She even smiled at him, just a little, for it. But maybe he was fooling himself on the edges of those seldom kissed lips.)
EnsTren: (There was no reason she could perceive for her to let him live.)
Edmondia: (So he smiled for her. I love you, he whispered gently, and let his adoration sweep into her soul, thick and rich and pure, and smiled and contentedly waited to die.)
Edmondia: (Mokuba was tugging on her arm now, wailing. "Neesama! Neesama you can't do this! Please! Neesama don't do this!")
EnsTren: (And her darkness within reared and slashed and hissed. It hated his love and fought it out. He saw anger in her eyes. That kind of love was a lie. Her distraction loosened her fingers slightly.)
EnsTren: (She could kill him, it was ridiculously easy. He even wanted to die.)
Edmondia: (But he couldn't lie to her soul, and he loved her even more for it, and couldn't help but tell her again how much and how desperately he adored her. And he tilted his neck and leaned into her hands and smiled again. I love you, my lady, my goddess, my queen. Let me die for you?)
Edmondia: ("Neesama don't hurt him!" Mokuba wailed, pulling on her arm harder, more insistantly, "Please don't kill him, please!")
EnsTren: ("I can do this Mokuba, I have to. For my own protection." Doesn't your death belong to your king? Don't expect funeral rites.)
EnsTren: (She wanted to HURT him.)
EnsTren: (She wanted something of her own.)
EnsTren: (And since she couldn't have her own gender, her own sex, she would have his death. It was simple, it was beautiful. And for the first time ever, he was beautiful to her, this opportunity he offered, to have his death.)
Edmondia: (I forsake heaven for you, he whispered tenderly, I forsake the love and the wishes of my pharaoh for you. The gods will damn me but I love you enough to spite them. I will be tormented for eternity for you, beloved. And he smiled, sweet and sincere, and his adoration was thick and deep. I love you, sweet light. And he stared into her eyes and loved her all the more.)
Edmondia: ("Neesama!" Mokuba sobbed, "Neesama you can't!")
EnsTren: (She cried for him, tears blurring her eyes and trailing down her cheeks even though her expression did not change. He felt blessed.)
EnsTren: ("WHY NOT!? WHY CAN'T I HAVE IT!?")
Edmondia: ("IT'S NOT RIGHT!" Mokuba screamed, clawing at her arm, "It's not it's not it's not it's NOT! You're better than this, neesama, you are you are you are!")
EnsTren: (She stared down at her brother, blazing and furious and begging him to let her. "NOTHING is RIGHT, if you haven't noticed, Mokuba! NOTHING!")
EnsTren: ("I'm going to go to hell for my sins and I might as well want one finally.")
Edmondia: (...all that I am is yours to destroy, beloved, he whispered encouragingly, infinitely gentle, infiniately tenderly. I love you so...)
EnsTren: ("I want something of my own, and that's going to be this death, this pain, and this soul right here in my hands.")
Edmondia: ("NO!" Mokuba screamed back, face puffy and red from crying, voice hoarse and cracked from screaming, "You're not you're not you're NOT! You don't want this, you can't want this, you're not like this anymore!")
Edmondia: (For you, beloved, he murmured, For you, my light, my life and my star and my hope and my heart...)
EnsTren: (She tried to convince him to let her kill Seth, "The lessons he gave me, I had to pay for them with my body!")
EnsTren: ("I had to let him touch me and and see me naked and put his hands wherever the damn hell he wanted, I had to let him kiss me!")
Edmondia: ("YOU AGREED TO IT!" he shrieked, "You knew what you were doing! He loves you - he needs you, he couldn't help himself!")
EnsTren: ("Because I wanted to be stronger so I could protect us!")
Edmondia: (SorrysosorryloveyousorrysosorrysosorryIfailedyou...)
EnsTren: ("I knew I was whoring myself out, just like I knew I was killing those people!")
Edmondia: ("STOP IT SETO!" he shrieked, "You're not a whore, you're not a murderer, you're not any of those horrible things, you're NOT!")
Edmondia: (Belovedgoddessqueenlove - not your fault, nonono, I failed you, I was too weak for you, never your fault, never never never yours...)
EnsTren: ("Then what the hell do you call someone who sells their body in exchange for something else? What do you call someone who is responsible for countless deaths?!")
EnsTren: ("I'm filth Mokuba!")
Edmondia: ("SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME!" he shrieked, "YOU'RE MY SISTER!")
Edmondia: (Belovedlightneverthatneverthat! he exclaimed, Never you! Me always, always my taint, always my filth! Never you!)
EnsTren: ("No I'm not, no I'm not. Sisters are girls and they grow up to have breasts and periods and hips and wear dresses and skirts and blouses and are pretty and will get to have children someday if they want them.")
EnsTren: ("Sisters aren't like me.")
Edmondia: ("I don't CARE about what other people are like! You're MY SISTER, you always have been, you always will be! Mine! MY SISTER!")
Edmondia: (Belovedqueenofheavensqueenoflight...)
EnsTren: (She was crying, tears down her cheeks and joining at her chin to drip to the floor. Her fingers tensed and relaxed around his neck as she was tossed in a sea of emotions. But he couldn't go to his death so easily now, he fought to stay alive, to convince her she wasn't all those horrible things.)
Edmondia: (Sweetest breath and sweetest life and Ra Himself embodied in Hathor and the queen of all things, the spring of Life and Love and purity and happiness, his savior and his most beloved queen and his owner and keeper and holder of his soul - blessed in the eyes of all the gods, feared by all men and loved by he alone...)
Edmondia: ("Neesama, neesama, you're nothing like that, you're not, you're not! I love you, neesama, I love you!")
EnsTren: ("I'm like that right now aren't I?")
Edmondia: ("I love you!")
EnsTren: (To which did she respond? Oh why oh why did he not perceive this bottomless pain before, it seemed impossible it only came from his betrayal.)
EnsTren: ("So? You loved me before, before... The pharaoh...")
Edmondia: (Sweetest love, sweetest queen, sweetest darling and most breathtaking beauty, sweetest goddess in all the heavens, sweetest beloved brilliant beautiful exquisite Hathor incarnate...)
EnsTren: ("What's one more death on the list of thousands?")
Edmondia: ("You're better than this! And you did it for me! For me, neesama, for me and for us!")
EnsTren: ("Then why can't I do this for myself?")
Edmondia: (The fury of Sekhmet and the sweetness of Isis and the perfection that was She. Beloved. Eternal treasure, eternal goddess, eternal love.)
Edmondia: ("Because it's wrong and you know it! He loves you!")
EnsTren: ("I am Wrong in and of myself, Mokuba! And he lied to me, he betrayed me, he touched me and hurt me and he's a security risk!")
Edmondia: ("You are not! You're wonderful and beautiful and sad and strong and I love you and he's sorry, you know he is, you KNOW he's in love with you!")
Edmondia: (SorrysosorrysosorryIfailedyousosorryIwasnotworthy...)
EnsTren: ("Wonder I'm still able to function, sad excuse for a human being, and sorry doesn't make it better, doesn't make it not happen.")
Edmondia: ("You're my sister! You're more human and more wonderful than anyone else I know! Please - please don't do this!")
Edmondia: (LoveyouforeversomuchsomuchsosorryIwasn'tbetter - never good enough for you, never could be - love you love you love you love you love you so much... goddess-queen, most beloved, perfection and beauty and Light...)
EnsTren: (And she dropped him from her hands and moved far away from both of them, into a corner near a window and curling up, watching them with untrusting eyes. "For your birthday. Now go away." I'm going to hurt you.)
Edmondia: (He stared at her, stifling sobs. "C-can I hug you, please, please neesama?")
Edmondia: (Belovedanythingeverythingwhateveryouwant - want me to go, to stay, to die for you?)
EnsTren: (She watched him with eyes he had only thought reserved for the old men perverts and Seth--but she nodded.)
EnsTren: (Go, be a ghost unless I want your pressance, non-entity. I will hurt you later so Mokuba won't be upset. If I can't have your death and soul I will have your pain.)
Edmondia: (He cried and ran to her and curled into her arms, clung to her and hid his face and sobbed so hard it made his chest hurt. "Thank you, neesama!" he sobbed gratefully, "Love you so much, neesama, love you so much, thank you thank you thank you thank you...")
EnsTren: (She was shaking in his hug and murmuring comforting nonsense to him that it was okay, shhh...)
Edmondia: (And he staggered to his feet and gave her a wide, adoring smile, soul brimming with his love for her, thick and pure and bright. Anything, beloved, he whispered, and was gone.)
EnsTren: (He wondered briefly what Cousin and his hikari thought about this.)
Edmondia: (And he clung to her and sobbed desperately, tiny hands fisted in her clothing and face hidden from her sight. "Scared - neesama, was so scared for you, of you, love you neesama, love you love you love you so much...")
EnsTren: ("Of course you do Mokuba. I love you too. You need to calm down, shhh...")
EnsTren: ("I'll try not to scare you again.")

Edmondia: (Atemu reached for him and kissed his cheek and held him tight. You did the right thing, cousin, you did the right thing.)
EnsTren: N-not angry that---what was yours?
Edmondia: Not angry, cousin, not angry. Right for her.
EnsTren: Meant it though. I'm sorry I stole from you Great Pharaoh.
Edmondia: I forgive you, he murmured, and kissed his cheek. You did what was right for her.
EnsTren: She hates me, hates you, hates Yugi. So much pain inside...
Edmondia: She will heal.
EnsTren: I tainted her.
EnsTren: I must have.
Edmondia: She was hurt, very hurt, before you reached her. The fault is not entirely yours.
EnsTren: Then it is my fault for not being there for her.
Edmondia: ...you could not get to her.
EnsTren: My fault. I am too weak for her, unworthy. Were I stronger I could have guided my item to her.
Edmondia: ...poor cousin, he murmured, and kissed his cheek again. Poor cousin...
EnsTren: I'm a failure. She's going to hurt me and I deserve it.
Edmondia: You are hers.
EnsTren: In all ways. But... She deserves better.
Edmondia: A smirk quirked his lips. But she will never have another.
EnsTren: I'm not smiling 'temu.
Edmondia: I love you, cousin. I am proud of you.
EnsTren: Don't be proud of this failure.
Edmondia: You did well, this time.
Edmondia: There will be others.
EnsTren: I don't want there to be others.
Edmondia: Other times that you do well?
EnsTren: Other hikaris. When this cycle is over... It makes sense for them to be reincarnated and us to pass to them again.
Edmondia: Atemu smiled very gently at him. You assume, then, that we are not immortal?
Edmondia: And... she is yours, now and forever.
Edmondia: Take care of her now.
EnsTren: Seth felt a wave a fear, hikari eternally a teenager, PMS.
Edmondia: You're still a teenager too, you know.
EnsTren: PMS, cousin. And I'll... never be able to get to her one time.
Edmondia: ...get to her one time?
EnsTren: If... another life... when I could do things right. I love her so much but I want... to make it not happen too.
Edmondia: ...make it not happen?
EnsTren: I failed in this life, but in the next... I could be with her always and protect her and make sure nothing bad ever happens.
Edmondia: That is no reason to give up on her now.
EnsTren: I don't think I can ever make it right though, cousin.
Edmondia: Then do whatever you can. You love her, don't you?
EnsTren: I don't exist for her until she calls.
Edmondia: Then attend her every whim when she does.
Edmondia: It's not fair, I know, and you shouldn't have to live like this... but... she's worth it, is she not?
EnsTren: She is the embodiment of Hathor herself.
Edmondia: He kissed his cheek again. Then love her as you were meant to do.
EnsTren: I try so hard but I'm unworthy.
Edmondia: But you love her. Nobody's ever loved her before except for Mokuba.
EnsTren: She hates me.
Edmondia: But that's better than her feeling nothing at all.
EnsTren: I can feel her being tortured inside.
Edmondia: And you must be the one to soothe her.
EnsTren: I cause so much of it though.
EnsTren: She doesn't even consider herself human.
Edmondia: Then you must convince her otherwise.
EnsTren: I don't know how to.
Edmondia: Do you love her?
EnsTren: Yes.
Edmondia: Then you will find a way.
EnsTren: ...why did I lose? Cousin, please tell me why I lost in this most important hing?
Edmondia: I don't know, cousin, he whispered, and gently stroked his hair, I don't know, dear Shadow.
EnsTren: Tears came from his eyes.
Edmondia: Atemu brushed them away and kissed his face and held him tightightight.
EnsTren: Poor Cousin. Poor Seto.
Edmondia: We'll keep your secrets, sweet cousin. We'll keep her safe.
EnsTren: She fears you now more than she did.
Edmondia: And my aibou?
EnsTren: She hates him now where she was only wary.
EnsTren: She hates you both now where before there was pain and determination and resentment.
Edmondia: ...aaa, he sighed, and kissed his hair, But we will defend her regardless of her hate.
EnsTren: She distrusts your intentions--she will. She won't let you defend her, she won't let me defend her.
Edmondia: What could we want from her?
EnsTren: Money, things from Egypt, a cute little concubine outfit with solid gold armlets and the like for your hikari.
EnsTren: I don't know if she'll try to bribe you.

Edmondia: (right now I think we need to slog through the spectacular mess we've made of heseth and sheseto's lives...)
Edmondia: (or else he's going to fling himself off of a building)
EnsTren: (alright)
Edmondia: (*sweatdrops* why does he have to live in my head?)
EnsTren: (I get the ukes that's why)
Edmondia: (I think he won brownie points with the 'kill me!' ^_^ bit)
EnsTren: (she's very confused though)
Edmondia: (I'll bet she is)
EnsTren: (Men are not supposed to love)
EnsTren: (hell I wouldn't be surprised if she was half subconsciously convinced her dad raped her mom or something)
Edmondia: (mmhmm)
EnsTren: (and there's a new sexual problem in my psych book I want to slap onto Seto)
Edmondia: (oh no. what?)
EnsTren: (I forget what the ending was but it was vagi something, it's when the woman experiences tensing or muscle spams that make entry impossible/very painful)
EnsTren: (psychological in nature)
Edmondia: (ow)
Edmondia: (so she's confused, is she?)
Edmondia: (can't say I blame the poor thing)
EnsTren signed off at 11:44:20 PM.