EnsTren: (gah, the window closed, wb, where were we?)
Edmondia: (as did mine, I'm looking)
EnsTren: (k)
Edmondia: EnsTren: She sighed in relief and flipped the blade closed, putting her leg down. She didn't need two, this was enough. Her movements tugged at the scratch, irritated it, pulled her mind away from emptiness.
EnsTren: She got up and put everything away, no antiseptic needed this time. Now towel dry.
Edmondia: "Very sneaky of you."
EnsTren: "I have more, so don't bother removing it."
EnsTren: "Besides, razors are harder to control."
Edmondia: "Hmn." He pushed himself off of the wall he had been leaning on and wandered over to her, holding his hand out.
EnsTren: She didn't move.
Edmondia: He sighed and knelt before her, running a delicate finger over the mark. Why?
EnsTren: She shifted her weight slightly so her flesh pressed more firmly against his fingers. When you are angry you clutch your hands tight, right? And if you hurt yourself you are distracted from the inside because you have to tend to the outside. But you usually don't notice it, don't hurt yourself by accident.
Edmondia: Mmm. He stroked her skin gently, then pressed his lips against her thigh. And you...?
EnsTren: Pain, She sighed and shifted again. Pain clears the mind. If you are holding a wine glass too tight because you are angry and it breaks in your hand--that pain is more real, more attention getting.
EnsTren: And... I... I have a good deal of practice ignoring physical pain.
EnsTren: So it drives away the inside hurt, and makes the mind clean, and I can ignore that pain, and enjoy you.
Edmondia: He pressed a wet kiss against her skin, then traced his tongue along the wound. Physical pain should not always be ignored, my love. And inside hurt need not be chased away by outside hurt.
EnsTren: She whimpered very softly in the back of her throat. That's what I used the cold place for.
Edmondia: He frowned. That place stole you away from me. I didn't like it. It made you sad.
EnsTren: I wasn't sad there until it was ruined.
EnsTren: She shook with the memory of the vile happening.
Edmondia: You were killing yourself, I'm glad it's gone.
EnsTren: I wasn't killing myself! How was I killing myself?
Edmondia: On the inside. He straightened up and slid his arms around his waist, pressing his lips to her belly. From all the poison built up from years and years of hurt. It festered there.
EnsTren: No, that was just me, just my soul, Because she was bad, Because your cousin took it all out, didn't he?
Edmondia: He took out the Darkness. Not the Pain. You cling to it too dearly, my love.
EnsTren: It was dark there. My blood was black.
Edmondia: Do you expect pain to be sparkly and happy and bright? Poison in your veins - unhealthy.
Edmondia: You say the past can't be changed yet you hold on to old hurts instead of taking what I offer you.
EnsTren: Pain is bright, she said, bright like steel, like a magnisium flare.
EnsTren: Brightness, Light, cuts.
Edmondia: You have a very warped way of thinking.
EnsTren: It sears. Like ice on a sunburn.
Edmondia: Do you enjoy it?
EnsTren: It makes the other hurt go away.
Edmondia: No, my love, it does not.
EnsTren: It chases it away.
Edmondia: It takes your mind off it for a while, but the hurt remains, and all you've gained is another scar.
EnsTren: We can make the scars go away.
Edmondia: Not from our hearts. He gently tugged at her waist, coaxing her down against him.
EnsTren: I don't like Sarah anymore, she complained. I wanted to enjoy my bath.
Edmondia: Baby, you're a prune.
Edmondia: And you say you don't like her because she disagreed with you.
EnsTren: No, I like my bath, I don't care if I'm pruney.
Edmondia: I do.
Edmondia: I only like baths when I get to take them with you and keep you warm.
EnsTren: I like cold baths.
Edmondia: They cool your body temperature far too much.
EnsTren: So?
Edmondia: It's not good for you.
EnsTren: It's not like I'm putting ice in.
Edmondia: He leaned into her space, brushing noses. "Oh?" he breathed, "Aren't you?"
EnsTren: Not yet.
Edmondia: He kissed her, very softly, very slowly.
EnsTren: She tasted sad.
Edmondia: Then tell me, my love, why are your lips so cold?
EnsTren: I just finished a bath, and I dunked myself twice.
Edmondia: I don't like it.
EnsTren: She looked away. I'm sorry.
EnsTren: She was ashamed, he never wanted her to feel ashamed.
Edmondia: Baby, look at me.
EnsTren: She wouldn't. I'm sorry.
EnsTren: I can't do anything interpersonal right, can I?
Edmondia: Baby, please look at me, please?
EnsTren: Why?
Edmondia: I want to see your eyes.
EnsTren: Look in the mirror, our eyes are identical.
Edmondia: No, they're not. Let me see you.
EnsTren: Why? So I can fuck up again?
Edmondia: So I can kiss you again.
EnsTren: My lips are cold, she sneered, and turned further away.
Edmondia: Let me warm you.
EnsTren: I like being cold.
Edmondia: Do you really?
Edmondia: Or is it just easier?
EnsTren: ...Why? Am I not allowed not to have anything easy? Do I have to suffer for the privilage to breathe?
Edmondia: I see. And he pushed her away. You'd prefer to stay locked in the cold, away from those who love you, because it's easier that way.
EnsTren: She looked at him, surprise written on her face, with her wide pretty eyes. And then it crashed again, she looked hurt, and then looked away to hide it and to shield him.
Edmondia: He pulled her close again, rubbing a hand over her belly. Sorry, baby... I won't say I didn't mean it, because it does feel that way... but I'm sorry for hurting you.
EnsTren: She jerked out of his arms, she didn't want him to touch her again, he had just hurt her.
EnsTren: Damn it, she didn't want to cry.
Edmondia: He wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her close against him. I know you want to claw out my eyes about now, so go ahead.
EnsTren: She made a concentrated effort at wriggling out of his arms. It was filthy, she was crying, he hurt her.
Edmondia: Beloved.
EnsTren: She moved away from him.
Edmondia: Baby, I'm sorry. I know sorry doesn't make it better but I'm sorry.
EnsTren: She hiccupped and kept the tears back and moved as far away from him as she could, curled against the wall and jacuzzi.
Edmondia: He followed her quietly and lay at her feet, watching her.
EnsTren: Why couldn't she have the easy way once? Why did she have to suffer and hurt for things that people thought nothing of? It seemed like she had to earn the right to breathe sometimes. Why had her Yami hurt her, again!?
Edmondia: Because you're hurting me.
Edmondia: I messed it up.
Edmondia: We're supposed to be able to communicate and I fucked up.
EnsTren: She climbed back into the bathtub so the water and bubbles would cover her nakedness and the cold soothe her burning cheeks.
Edmondia: Hikari, get out of there. Freezing yourself isn't going to make it better.
EnsTren: She sunk down in, breathing only though her nose.
Edmondia: "Dammit, Seto," he grumbled, and reached into the tub and picked her up.
EnsTren: Don't touch me!
Edmondia: I refuse to drop you, he replied blandly, So just live with it.
EnsTren: So put me down.
Edmondia: No.
EnsTren: Why not?
Edmondia: You're upset. And you have every reason to be, but we need to talk.
EnsTren: She's going to come back soon and I'm not going to break my promise because you want to talk now.
Edmondia: You won't be breaking your promise. You'll be out of here and she's no longer invited to dinner, remember?
EnsTren: I promised I'd be out of the bathroom in five minutes.
Edmondia: He shifted her to one arm and handed her an oversized towel. Wrap up and we'll go.
EnsTren: So I'm not allowed to get dressed on my own now?
Edmondia: I'm not putting you down.
EnsTren: Why not?
Edmondia: Because I'm currently feeling very very insecure.
EnsTren: Why?
Edmondia: Because you frighten me.
EnsTren: How? You're stronger than me.
Edmondia: What does that have to do with anything?
EnsTren: You're better, so you shouldn't be insecure.
Edmondia: I'm most certainly not better. And baby, everyone is insecure, especially me.
EnsTren: What about me?
Edmondia: What about you, my love?
EnsTren: I'm more insecure than you, and I have a reason to be.
Edmondia: So we're both insecure and we both have reasons. Will you please put on the towel so Sarah doesn't yell at us?
EnsTren: She sighed and did so, squirming a bit to get it around but succeeding. Slightly short of breath, she settled with a sigh, and lightly put her head to his chest.
Edmondia: Thank you, pretty lady. And he then stared at the obstacle in front of them. Um, I don't suppose you could get the door?
EnsTren: Why the hell would I want to go outside?
Edmondia: Outside the bathroom? Well, Sarah won't yell, and then we can go to our room and get you clothes.
EnsTren: She reached out and opened the door. How many more minutes was I supposed to have?
Edmondia: Um, about half of one, I think.
EnsTren: Bitch better not be outside.
Edmondia: What did she say to upset you so? He went out into the empty hallway and headed for their room.
EnsTren: She was upsetting me.
Edmondia: I upset you frequently, but you only rarely call me a bastard, he pointed out, nudging their bedroom door open with a foot.
EnsTren: You're my yami.
Edmondia: Doesn't make me less of an asshole.
EnsTren: I was sad, she was trying to make me cognate diffrent, then tried to order me out of the tub and I didn't want to, and then she bitched and threatened me if I didn't.
Edmondia: Cognating differently might be a good thing, out of the tub is definitely a good thing, and bitching at you is sometimes the only option you leave me. Don't hiss, baby, it's true.
EnsTren: She still hissed.
Edmondia: He didn't seem to mind much, shouldering the door shut behind them. Hell, sometimes the only way to deal with me is to throw things at me. I know I'm a jackass.
EnsTren: She threatened me. She called me a child.
Edmondia: I think she's getting a bit exasperated with us, pretty light, and, well...
EnsTren: Bitch.
Edmondia: He dipped her suddenly, stealing a quick kiss. Mmm, I love it when you talk dirty.
EnsTren: She blinked and he knew if she weren't so surprised by his comment she would have jerked her head away.
Edmondia: So he straightened up again and continued his march towards their closet.
EnsTren: ...I want to go to sleep, I'm not hungry.
Edmondia: You want to sleep naked?
EnsTren: You want me to, she half accused.
Edmondia: Yes, I do, yet here I am standing in front of your closet and waiting for you to grab a pair of pajamas, he replied, annoyed.
EnsTren: She pinched his cheek and obliged him.
Edmondia: Now here's the tricky part: see if you can get dressed while hanging in midair.
EnsTren: Why?
Edmondia: I thought you wanted pajamas?
EnsTren: You could put me down.
Edmondia: Nope.
EnsTren: Bah. Move your arms closer together so I can sit up.
Edmondia: He did.
EnsTren: She sat up slightly and shrugged of the towel and started to get dressed in her jammies.
Edmondia: Blue's a good color on you.
EnsTren: She snorted and settled back down again.
Edmondia: Thank you. May we talk now, or would you rather sleep?
EnsTren: What do you want to talk about?
Edmondia: Us.
EnsTren: ?
Edmondia: Us, baby, I want to talk about us.
EnsTren: Okay.
Edmondia: Okay?
EnsTren: Talk.
Edmondia: Are you going to hit me?
EnsTren: No. Why would I?
Edmondia: Because.
EnsTren: Talk.
Edmondia: Maybe we rushed into this too fast.
EnsTren: ?
EnsTren: You're my Yami, she said, but she was shaking. I'm your hikari. She was, wasn't she?! We're perfect for each other.
EnsTren: She wasn't being rejected, she wasn't, she couldn't be. Nonono, not ever.
Edmondia: I know that, baby. I love you.
EnsTren: Relax, relax, it was okay. He loved her, he loved her. Not like the family that took the insurance money and dumped them in an orphanage. And... No, no, he hasn't been in a VR systems or anything so no Noa, no past enemy or computer program stealing him away like Mokuba was stolen. She wasn't being rejected.
EnsTren: She gripped his arms tight and stared at him, if she blinked he might disappear, or that's what it felt like. He couldn't be a dream, or a nightmare, or be leaving her.
Edmondia: Baby, I love you, he repeated gently, pulling her close against his chest. I love you.
EnsTren: She wrapped her arms around him and listened to his heartbeat.
Edmondia: I love you, baby, I love you and you only. He pressed a kiss against her hair. I love you. Just you. I love you best in all the world.
EnsTren: And she relaxed against him and remembered to breathe right because it was okay.
Edmondia: You okay, pretty light?
EnsTren: Notleavingme? Notabandon? Notlosefaith?
EnsTren: Oh she was crying again and didn't even realize it, slow weeping and pleasepleaseplease ohgodno.
Edmondia: Oh, pretty light... He carried her over to the bed, gently setting her down against the pillows. Shush, don't cry, I'll never leave you, never and never and never and never.
EnsTren: And she started sobbing in relief and had to hold on to him lest she fly away as she fell apart.
Edmondia: He gently pushed her back into the pillows, lacing their fingers together. It's all right, pretty light, pretty goddess-mine, it's all right, I'll never ever ever leave you alone.
EnsTren: She calmed and calmed and still was shaking, still couldn't uncurl her fingers from his, and they were tight, hurting her hands, she was so desperate and needy.
EnsTren: Breathing and trembling but not crying anymore, just her face against his chest and calmcalmcalming down, listening to him.
Edmondia: Shh... that's my brave queen, pretty pretty pretty lovely lady, I'm not going to leave you, I love you.
EnsTren: She breathed evenly and nodded in agreement. Nevereverever leave.
Edmondia: Can I have a kiss, pretty lady, to seal my promise?
EnsTren: Yesyesyes, promisesealedyes!
EnsTren: She lifted her head and all but climbed up him to give him the kiss.
Edmondia: I love you.
EnsTren: And she calmed.
Edmondia: ...better now? he asked after a few moments of silence.
EnsTren: Silent nod, not daring to speak.
EnsTren: She could not let go of him yet, however.
Edmondia: This time, he kissed her. Baby, I married you, I'm not going to leave you ever.
EnsTren: And she relaxed slightly. You wanted to talk. She struggled to bring them back to business.
Edmondia: Mmmhmm. He didn't seem very inclined to release her lips. We should talk.
EnsTren: Okay, I'm listening.
Edmondia: I love you.
EnsTren: You tell me that all the time. But it still brought a smile to her lips.
Edmondia: I know. Communication is important in a marriage.
EnsTren: So's sex but we're not doing that. She pointed out. They communicated just fine in her opinion, he hardly ever hurt her any more.
Edmondia: We've done nearly everything except that, pretty light.
EnsTren: No penetration at all--unless you count french kissing.
Edmondia: We could work on that, if you like...
EnsTren: It scares me still.
Edmondia: It'll keep scaring you until you do something about it.
EnsTren: Aren't we? I can stand more things than I was able to before--even enjoy most of it.
Edmondia: Yes, we are, and you're doing very well, pretty light. It's the 'most of it' that worries me.
EnsTren: I didn't like most of it when we started.
Edmondia: What didn't you like?
EnsTren: Each time you touched me more made me nervous and uncomfortable for a while.
Edmondia: How?
EnsTren: Nervous, frightened but not.
Edmondia: Frignhtened but not?
EnsTren: Yes.
Edmondia: I don't understand what that means.
EnsTren: Like nervous, but more of an edge. Like fear just before you really feel it.
Edmondia: For how long?
EnsTren: Depends, sometimes a few days, sometimes much longer.
Edmondia: When did you stop minding it as much?
EnsTren: Depends where.
EnsTren: Like when I let you touch my shoulders again for the first time... after. It made me feel that way for... about three days.
Edmondia: How long until you started liking it - you do like it, don't you?
EnsTren: Yes, I do. And it happened gradually. Sometimes I had a few moments, but they ebbed off and I don't feel them anymore.
Edmondia: Why did you kiss me, that first time?
EnsTren: I wanted to.
Edmondia: But I treated you horribly.
EnsTren: I never said I knew why I wanted to.
Edmondia: You surprised me then. I half-expected you to punch me in the balls, yell 'Sucker!' and race out of the room.
EnsTren: ...You don't think I'm that meancruel, do you?
Edmondia: If you're righteously angry?
Edmondia: I love you, my wife, but you can be vicious.
EnsTren: ...You think I would dangle something someone I'm tied to, careabout, wantsneedscraveshasprayedfor in front of them and then hurt them and leave, not even bothering to see them suffer?
Edmondia: I didn't know you loved me then.
EnsTren: I was letting you touch me, wasn't I? Trying, straining for you.
EnsTren: I hated you too, I admit.
Edmondia: I'm sorry.
EnsTren: Why? It's in the past.
Edmondia: Can't I apologize?
EnsTren: Yes, you can.
Edmondia: Then I'm sorry.
EnsTren: She kissed him on the cheek.
Edmondia: What was that for?
EnsTren: I wanted to.
Edmondia: Thank you.
Edmondia: May I ask you another quesetion?
EnsTren: Yes.
Edmondia: When did you start liking me?
EnsTren: I don't know.
Edmondia: You do like me?
EnsTren: Yes, I love you.
Edmondia: Why?
EnsTren: Why do you love me?
Edmondia: Good point.
EnsTren: She smiled a little.
Edmondia: He rubbed noses with her. Pretty lady, how did I ever get so lucky?
EnsTren: I'm not pretty.
Edmondia: Yes you are.
EnsTren: I don't understand how you see that. I'm... I was pretty as a boy, but the same prettiness in a girl isn't as pretty as a girl should be.
Edmondia: I have seen many many females who are much uglier than you could ever be, pretty light.
EnsTren: Ah, the wonders of vaccines.
Edmondia: Even in this modern world of yours, pretty light.
EnsTren: I like it when you compliment me, even if I can't believe it.
Edmondia: I wish you could.
EnsTren: Anzu is prettier.
Edmondia: Not to me.
EnsTren: ...Why? She sounded hopeful.
Edmondia: Because your eyes are prettier.
EnsTren: She blushed and glanced down. Really?
Edmondia: And I like your boobs better than hers.
EnsTren: ...Why?
Edmondia: You don't look like you're going to fall over. Plus they're the perfect size!
EnsTren: Anzu-chan doesn't look like she's going to fall over!
Edmondia: She looks like a court dancer.
EnsTren: And Mai?
Edmondia: Mai is hot, I'll admit that.
Edmondia: But I like your body best.
EnsTren: Why? If Anzu looks like a court dancer and Mai is hot.
Edmondia: You look like my wife.
EnsTren: A bout of confusion then understanding.
Edmondia: I like the way your eyes glitter when you're being mischievous.
EnsTren: Do I look like a girl?
Edmondia: You look like a woman.
EnsTren: How?!
Edmondia: Shall I rip off your clothes and demonstrate?
Edmondia: Just because you're a slim little thing doesn't make you any less lovely.
EnsTren: I'm twiggy.
Edmondia: Slender.
EnsTren: A board, with very small warping bumps.
Edmondia: Slim and soft and sexy.
EnsTren: Too nice. Flatterer.
Edmondia: Honest. You have no idea how good you feel.
EnsTren: What about when you thought I was a boy, you still were trying to get into my pants.
Edmondia: You make a pretty boy, too.
EnsTren: But boys are diffrent pretty than girls.
Edmondia: Hikari... boooooooooooobies.
EnsTren: But they are small!
Edmondia: But they're boobs!
Edmondia: Handful-sized boobs!
Edmondia: Yummy boobs!
EnsTren: ...Do diffrent parts of me taste diffrent or something?
Edmondia: A little.
EnsTren: Hmn.. She curled up against his chest. I'm hungry now.
Edmondia: I made us dinner.
EnsTren: I know.
Edmondia: Shall I take you to it or it to you?
EnsTren: ...What do you think would be best?
Edmondia: Well, if I take you to it I get to carry you around some more, right?
EnsTren: But Yugis... She attempted to burrow into him nervously.
Edmondia: Mmm, baby, you keep that up you won't get any dinner.
EnsTren: She punched him in the gut. She wasn't trying to be seductive and didn't like for her actions to be interpreted that way when she was distinctly and definitely not interested.
Edmondia: Ow. Baby, communicate more with the lips and less with the fists, please?
EnsTren: Not trying to be sexy. I don't want to see them, they... me, saw... I'm pathetic. They've seen how weak I am.
Edmondia: They're our family, beloved.
EnsTren: I'm horrible and weak and disgusting and they know that now.
Edmondia: You are not. They don't know anything of the sort because that isn't true.
EnsTren: It is, they saw me fall apart and probably sensed the same things you did and know I cut.
Edmondia: Baby. I know these things. Mokuba knows these things. We love you.
EnsTren: It's hard to hate someone who's given up for you as much as I have. And you're my yami. They have nothing like that to me.
Edmondia: They love you.
EnsTren: Why? They have no reason to.
Edmondia: Does love need a reason?
EnsTren: If they love me it feels like it's only because of you.
Edmondia: You married into our family - they cared for you even before this bond was formed.
EnsTren: Why the hell would they care for me before that?
Edmondia: Because.
EnsTren: I was horrible to them. They should detest me.
Edmondia: Why?
EnsTren: Because I'm a horrible person.
Edmondia: You are not.
Edmondia: And they know that.
Edmondia: They love you.
EnsTren: I am. They shouldn't.
Edmondia: But they do. And you aren't.
EnsTren: ...It's Yugi. He's so... notlikeme, so bright he could feel sorry for a pedophile.
Edmondia: I sincerely doubt that, pretty light. He has his limits too.
EnsTren: Well, I'm only a mass murderer.
Edmondia: An innocent one. He dropped a kiss on her forehead. One who is shackled down with the weight of a guilt not her own. Another kiss. A woman who sacrificed everything to protect her brother. Another kiss. A frightened child who did what she needed to survive. Kiss. He cares for you because you are worth caring for.
EnsTren: She wouldn't look at him. She turned her back on him becausebecause his words made her hurt inside, it woke things up.
EnsTren: She wanted to be cold.
Edmondia: Baby, don't do this.
Edmondia: You said you were willing to talk.
EnsTren: Not about them, I'm bad, they shouldn't like me. Her mind was tumultous, the strange combination of awe and hate and resentment and some nameless feeling she felt for the game kings.
Edmondia: You're good, beloved, they like you because you are precious to them. They love you because you are worth loving.
EnsTren: She wasn't, they shouldn't, she shouldn't be. She most definitely wouldn't.
Edmondia: Kiss me?
EnsTren: Why?
Edmondia: I can feel you best that way.
EnsTren: She turned and tilted her head up to be kissed.
Edmondia: He tilted his head down and kissed her deeply, wrapping his senses around her own and gently brushing her mind with the force of his adoration.
EnsTren: She wasn't unmoved, never make that mistake, but she was definetly stuck in her emotional level for the moment.
Edmondia: Do you love me?
EnsTren: Yes.
Edmondia: Someday, will you mother my children?
EnsTren: A twitch, forced breathing, calmingcalming. Reminding, he could read her thinking, reminding herself that sex need not happen. Y-yess... But I don't think I can be too motherly.
Edmondia: Nobody ever said I would be a good father, he murmured wryly, I seem to be royally fucking up the husbanding bit as well.
EnsTren: Only because I'm fucked up.
Edmondia: Baby, I'm not exactly what you'd call perfect either.
Edmondia: Maybe we are too young...
EnsTren: I don't think so.
Edmondia: I don't know how to be a good husband for you.
EnsTren: Do you think anyone could do better?
Edmondia: Someone with a lot more patience and a lot less of a libido, yes.
EnsTren: You have patience, and who else would I be able to let in? You're my yami and I had a hard time.
Edmondia: Someone better, calmer, lighter than me. Someone who was less of an asshole.
EnsTren: You are better than I, you act lighter than any other Yami. But I can't argue with the asshole comment.
EnsTren: She was smiling though.
Edmondia: He wrinkled his nose. Thank you dear, honesty is good.
Edmondia: ...want food?
EnsTren: Yes. She kissed his nose. Are you going to carry me again?
Edmondia: Yes. Am teenage boy, after all.
EnsTren: What does that have to do with anything?
Edmondia: Two things I want at all times: Food and you.
EnsTren: ...That's sweet. But don't get kinky food fantasies in your head yet.
Edmondia: ...too late.
EnsTren: Baka.
Edmondia: Well I hadn't thought of any before you mentioned it!
EnsTren: She sniggered.
Edmondia: ...mmm, whipped cream.
EnsTren: I'm more partial to slices of fresh strawberries with raspberry syrup.
Edmondia: ...please please please say I can have you for dessert.
EnsTren: ...No promises.
Edmondia: ...you're right, we need to talk more before we play. He sighed and sat back, raking a hand through his hair and shaking his head as if to clear it.
EnsTren: She laid patiently there, messing with the hem of her jammies' top.
Edmondia: He slowly unfolded himself, stretching to his full height and yawning widely. Shall we?
EnsTren: Yes. And she tried to stand up before he swooped.
Edmondia: Don't I get to carry you?
EnsTren: ...I already look weak to them though.
Edmondia: Baby, you're not weak, and all that me carrying you around would mean to them is that I'm in a snuggly mood and you're putting up with it.
EnsTren: I am weak.
EnsTren: She sighed heavily and opened her arms up, no way she could be more humiliated or lose more face. Fine.
Edmondia: You're not. And he scooped her up and cradled her against his chest. I wish you could believe me when I say that.
EnsTren: I don't see evidence of it.
Edmondia:> I know you don't. It makes me sad. He nudged the door open, then started down the hall towards the kitchen.
EnsTren: She sighed faintly and her eyes hooded.
Edmondia: He sighed to match her and wriggled a hand free to open the door. I love you, you know.
EnsTren: Sometimes I think it's one of the few things I know.
Edmondia: I love you.
EnsTren: She laid her head down on his chest and shoulder.
Edmondia: He set her down on the kitchen counter, but didn't release her. I do love you.
EnsTren: She sat morosely, slumped, it felt as if all the color was washed out of everything.
Edmondia: Look at me?
EnsTren: She looked at him with bright blue eyes.
Edmondia: You have no idea what you mean to me, he breathed, fingers twining into her hair. You have no idea how beautiful you are...
EnsTren: It was like she was there but not. She wasn't in the place where he couldn't find her, nor was there a wall between them. It was as if there was a wall between her and her emotions.
Edmondia: He leaned forward and kissed her very softly. It wasn't enough to snap her out of it - it never was - but it was warm and familiar, from the soft hitch of her breath right before their lips brushed to the way her mouth shifted beneath his own.
EnsTren: She was still there. She still wanted him.
Edmondia: Why?
EnsTren: I don't know, but it's safer this way.
Edmondia: Safer?
EnsTren: Yes. It's far away.
Edmondia: From me?
EnsTren: From bad things. Being far from you is a side effect.
Edmondia: I made a good dinner, he muttered defensively, It's yummy.
EnsTren: I am hungry.
Edmondia: Mmm. He kissed her again. I can take a hint. And he turned to the stove and started scooping something into a bowl.
EnsTren: She sat nicely staring at the wall because she had no inclination to do otherwise. Yugi's here?
Edmondia: He paused for a moment, tilting his head to the side. They're in one of the guest bedrooms.
EnsTren: Are they going to be eating with us?
Edmondia: They ate earlier.
Edmondia: It's just you and me and... hmn, Mokuba's actually doing his homework for once.
Edmondia: He turned from the stove and handed her his creation. Here. Dinner.
Edmondia: Hikari?
EnsTren: She kissed his cheek.
Edmondia: He blinked. What was that for?
EnsTren: Sweetness. What did you make?
Edmondia: It's called 'lasagne'.
EnsTren: You made italian food? She sounded mildly surprised and nibbled on the cheesy goodness.
Edmondia: Their cities are sinking and they're fat lazy bastards. But they can cook. Tomorrow I'm going to try making something French.
EnsTren: She kissed him again.
Edmondia: He smiled. Is it good?
EnsTren: Yummy.
Edmondia: Good. He bustled over to the fridge and retrieved something else. Ranch, you said?
EnsTren: Yes please.
Edmondia: He frowned at the salad and brought it over to her. I believe this spinach salad is meant to be had with an orange vinigarette sauce, but as you will.
EnsTren: Why didn't you say it was a spinach salad?!
Edmondia: You didn't ask...? I didn't put any dressing on yet!
EnsTren: Gimme the orange stuff.
Edmondia: He trotted back to the fridge and retrieved a slim bottle, then bounced back over to her and set it by her side. What do you want to drink?
EnsTren: Water please.
Edmondia: He promptly trotted back to the fridge and retrieved a bottle of chilled water. Anything else?
EnsTren: No thank you.
Edmondia: Mmmkay. And he heaved himself up on the counter next to her and ate his dinner in silence.
EnsTren: Hikari was dainty.
Edmondia: You're cute.
EnsTren: Thank you, you're sweet and nice to me.
Edmondia: Again, you're cute.
EnsTren: You're good to me.
Edmondia: I try to be. I don't think I do a very good job, though.
Edmondia: I'm not able to care for you as I should be.
Edmondia: I can't provide for you, I can't protect you...
EnsTren: I provide for you, I don't need protection. That's not your fault.
Edmondia: But then what purpose do I have?
EnsTren: Love me?
Edmondia: ...is it enough?
EnsTren: I think so.
Edmondia: ...mmm.
EnsTren: Hikari kissed him again.
Edmondia: I guess I'm one of those 'stay at home'... teenagers?
Edmondia: Heh, you taste like cheese.
EnsTren: She giggled and scooted closer to him.
Edmondia: I think I'm a good cook, hikari.
EnsTren: You are.
Edmondia: Am I a stay at home husband, hikari?
EnsTren: I guess so.
Edmondia: ...I feel old.
EnsTren: She giggled.
Edmondia: At least you're still young and nubile, he pouted.
EnsTren: She blushed.
Edmondia: He raised a suggestive eyebrow.
EnsTren: She banged her feet together and stared at them.
Edmondia: Hikari...
Edmondia: Do I embarrass you?
EnsTren: Eh?
EnsTren: In what way are you asking about?
Edmondia: He traced a finger up her thigh. Any way.
EnsTren: Yes.
Edmondia: How?
EnsTren: You say things that make me blush. You... I'm not used to Public Displays of Affection either.
Edmondia: It's cute that you capitalize that even in your thoughts. Do you want me to stop?
EnsTren: I don't know. She was blushing again.
Edmondia: He flashed her a heated smile. Do you want me to do it more often?
EnsTren: I don't know.
Edmondia: What do you want?
EnsTren: To change the past.
Edmondia: I can only change your future.
EnsTren: I think I stand a chance at being happy. Because you are here now.
Edmondia: He smiled sweetly at her. You're a darling, you know that?
EnsTren: I think you're the first person to call me that.
Edmondia: I think that's a good thing. I think I like being the first person to call you a lot of things.
Edmondia: I'm greedy.
EnsTren: Yamimine I like it when you say nice things about me to me.
Edmondia: I like it too. You're cute when you blush.
EnsTren: And she did.
Edmondia: See? Cute.
EnsTren: She pushed her food to the side and climbed into his lap.
Edmondia: Hm?
EnsTren: Sometimes when you say things I can almost believe them.
Edmondia: I wish you could fully believe them.
EnsTren: I wish they were true.
Edmondia: They're true to me.
Edmondia: He looped his arms around her waist and slid his fingertips up her spine. You are beautiful.
EnsTren: Her eyes were closed and listened to him.
Edmondia: Pretty beloved, you're everything important to me.
EnsTren: I'm not, there's Mokuba, and Yugi, and your cousin...
Edmondia: You are most precious of all.
EnsTren: I never rescued you though.
Edmondia: You did.
EnsTren: I did?
Edmondia: You did.
EnsTren: ...The Millennium Item?
Edmondia: Mmmhmm.
EnsTren: ...it was an accident you know.
Edmondia: An accident?
EnsTren: ...Malik tripped.
Edmondia: ...what a graceful re-entry I've had into this world.
EnsTren: Mnnhmm... The Millennium Rod arched though the air and was flying at me. If it was not for my good reflexes it might have gotten dented.
Edmondia: It can't get dented, beloved, and you brought me back to life.
EnsTren: I caught it.
Edmondia: You saved me.
EnsTren: By accident.
Edmondia: He kissed her nose. What a lucky one it was.
EnsTren: Despite everything?
Edmondia: You're everything I've always wanted.
EnsTren: ...You wanted a wife with emotional problems who can't have sex with you?
Edmondia: I dreamed of you for three thousand years. I wanted, I want, just you.
EnsTren: She yawned like the kitten he accused her of being. You're sweet, but I'm sleepy.
Edmondia: No dessert?
EnsTren: Mnn... I'll have it for breakfast or something.
Edmondia: All right, he murmured, and took advantage of their entwined state to scoop her up against him and slip off of the counter.
EnsTren: She cuddled and snuggled against him.
Edmondia: He hefted her gently and sidled out of the kitchen, not releasing her until they were safely back in their room, beside the bed. Better?
EnsTren: She was sleeping against his chest.
Edmondia: He lay her down and slid under the covers with her, pulling them up to her chin and looping his arms around her. Good night, pretty wife. He kissed her cheek. I love you.
EnsTren: He thought she might have smiled in her sleep.
Edmondia: That was a good sign, he thought.
EnsTren: He wanted to stay awake forever to watch her.
Edmondia: She was very beautiful when asleep.
Edmondia: She was very beautiful all the time, but like this, she was warm and peaceful and precious and safe.
EnsTren: And all the hurt was gone from her face.
Edmondia: So beautiful.
EnsTren: And his.
Edmondia: So precious.
EnsTren: He held her tight.
Edmondia: And, eventually, he slept.
EnsTren: Even though he wanted to hold her precious image in his eyes forever.
Edmondia: He would remember this.
EnsTren: Forever.
Edmondia: (fwee?)
EnsTren: (fwee)
Edmondia: (^_^)
Edmondia: (he made strawberry shortcake for dessert)
Edmondia: (...he seems to have acquired my cooking skills)
EnsTren: (heheeee)
Edmondia: (Seth took her at her word, btw)
Edmondia: (strawberry shortcake for breakfast)
EnsTren: (hehehe)
EnsTren: (special ingrediant in Strawberry shortcacke is raspberry syrup)
EnsTren: (I don't know WHY it makes the strawberries taste good I only know it does)
EnsTren: (and seto likes it)
Edmondia: (heh)
EnsTren: (and lets seth feed him a little.)
Edmondia: (Seth's all torn between n_n and 'we still need to talk'-ness)
EnsTren: (she says he can talk)
Edmondia: (he says talking is a two-way involvement)
EnsTren: (So he should talk and she will respond.)
Edmondia: (He says she should eat because whipped cream is cute on her nose)
EnsTren: (She can eat and talk at the same time.)
Edmondia: (He says she's pretty)
EnsTren: (She blushes, and prods him wanting to know what he really wants to talk about)
Edmondia: ("Us.")
EnsTren: ("What about Us?")
Edmondia: ("Do you think we're moving too fast?")
EnsTren: ("Too fast how?")
Edmondia: (He slid his hand up her shirt. "Too fast like everybody thinks too fast.")
EnsTren: ("Too fast in what?")
Edmondia: ("Maybe we got married too early.")
EnsTren: ("Married means You're Mine.")
EnsTren: ("It means that I won't be alone.")
Edmondia: ("I know. But... sometimes I think we're too young for this.")
EnsTren: "How would it be diffrent if we weren't married?"
Edmondia: "I don't know," he sighed, and flopped back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling, "We'd still be where we are - but at least no one would hassle you about your ring."
EnsTren: "I like my ring. everyone else can go sit on a wooden flagpole and spin."
Edmondia: "Heh. I just... don't want to be holding you back."
EnsTren: "...You lift me up."
Edmondia: "I have nothing to offer you."
EnsTren: "You gave me something that's all mine."
Edmondia: "...I'm not worthy of you."
EnsTren: "Why do you keep saying that? What makes me better than you?"
Edmondia: "You're good and precious and right."
EnsTren: "How am I good or right? What makes me more precious than you?"
Edmondia: He rolled over and gave her a tiny, dazzling smile. "Everything."
EnsTren: "You're everything."
Edmondia: "Without you I am quite literally nothing."
EnsTren: "But you came first."
Edmondia: "The gods save their most precious creations for the last."
EnsTren: She flushed. "But you came first, so that means you don't need me."
EnsTren: She tilted her head to the side. "I don't think any of the pairs really need each other to survive. They might lead hollow, empy existances but they could... survive."
Edmondia: "Who would want to survive a life of misery?"
EnsTren: "Why do you think I've been thinking of suicide since before I was twelve?"
Edmondia: "Missed my dashing good looks?"
EnsTren: "Misery isn't fun. And I didn't know you existed then."
Edmondia: "At least I had the dreams... why do you love me?"
EnsTren: "You're my Yami, I'm drawn to you. And when you don't hurt me, and when it doesn't hurt too much, you can make everything seem right."
Edmondia: "But I keep hurting you."
EnsTren: "...It's not like that's a big deal, Seth."
EnsTren: "Everyone hurts me."
EnsTren: "At least, everyone who matters or is supposed to matter to me."
Edmondia: "It's a big deal to me, Seto."
EnsTren: "It's normal for me."
Edmondia: "...it's normal in relationships, for there to be hurt, but also for there to be happiness."
EnsTren: "I am happy. You have to remember that because I stopped taking the testosterone my moods aren't normal."
Edmondia: "...it's hard to remember that, sometimes..."
EnsTren: "...I'm sorry."
Edmondia: "Not your fault, baby."
EnsTren: She would not talk now.
Edmondia: He reached for her wordlessly.
Edmondia: ?
EnsTren: I'm sorry I'm not right.
Edmondia: You are right.
EnsTren: I am flawed and unbalanced.
Edmondia: You are the woman I love.
EnsTren: That does not change what else I am.
Edmondia: ...
Edmondia: We have something to live for.
EnsTren: We do?
Edmondia: We do.
EnsTren: You.
Edmondia: I for you - and you for me.
Edmondia: We have been given a very precious chance.
EnsTren: We have? Tell me? She smiled and scooted closer to him, she loved hearing good things from him.
Edmondia: We have a life together.
EnsTren: Yes.
Edmondia: In spite of everything we have each other.
EnsTren: Forever.
Edmondia: I want us to live.
EnsTren: Yes, yes, with you with me, forever.
Edmondia: Live for me?
EnsTren: Yes.
Edmondia: I love you.
EnsTren: I love you.
Edmondia: And we'll talk when we have problems?
EnsTren: I'll try.
Edmondia: As will I. Seal it with a kiss?
EnsTren: Please?
Edmondia: He kissed her slowly, lingeringly.
Edmondia: I'll be a better husband, I swear it.
EnsTren: She was warm and alive and melty.
EnsTren: You are already better than I deserve.
Edmondia: But I can be better.
EnsTren: Do you think I can be too?
EnsTren: She was already trying so very hard, but she needed him so very much.
Edmondia: I think you can be too, if that is what you truly desire.
EnsTren: How can I be better?
Edmondia: More self-esteem.
EnsTren: ...I'm sorry.
Edmondia: Why?
EnsTren: That... Something fundumental in me needs to be changed.
Edmondia: He gently took her hands in his own and held them against his chest. You changed something fundamental in me, my light.
EnsTren: You did?
Edmondia: I've been changing too.
EnsTren: How yamimine?
Edmondia: Calmer. More patient. More attentive to you. Less selfish.
EnsTren: He was beautiful goodrightstrong.
EnsTren: I'm sorry I'm so needy of you. You're the only one I have, the only one that can.
Edmondia: How can you be sorry, when I need you just as badly?
EnsTren: But I need you to take care of me and coddle me and you end up having to walk on eggshells.
Edmondia: I need you to take care of.
EnsTren: But I'm too needy. Too broken and weak.
Edmondia: If I had my way you'd only ever want me.
Edmondia: You're hurt, my love, but not broken, and certainly not weak.
EnsTren: You shouldn't have to change for me.
Edmondia: I should.
Edmondia: Life is change.
Edmondia: I want to be better for you.
Edmondia: You give me something to seek.
EnsTren: You should be good enough for me as you are. You're already too much of a blessing.
Edmondia: ...flatterer.
EnsTren: No, truth.
Edmondia: I will never be able to reach the perfection you are in my eyes.
EnsTren: I see no perfection in me.
Edmondia: And I see none in me.
EnsTren: You are enough.
Edmondia: But I can be better, for you.
Edmondia: I want to be better, for you.
EnsTren: I'm sorry you have to be.
Edmondia: I want to be.
Edmondia: You give me something to work for.
EnsTren: We should... be able to better ourselves together. To be perfectly right and work on things like... me teaching you science and you teaching me magic. Or working on game stratagies.
Edmondia: Then we will.
EnsTren: But we can't because we have to make ourselves better.
Edmondia: We can help each other, my love.
EnsTren: I love you.
Edmondia: I love you.
Edmondia: (bed)