EnsTren: back!
Edmondia: hullo!
EnsTren: eee
EnsTren: so what think of my idea Seto bought the blue eyes?
Edmondia: possible
EnsTren: explains why Seto didn't get in trouble for stealing and destorying the card
Edmondia: don't think Yugi or jiichan were happy with him
EnsTren: yes, but no legal crap
Edmondia: why? it's just a card
EnsTren: it's a very very valuable card
Edmondia: still only cardboard
EnsTren: *pets Seto*
EnsTren: he's going to be so upset when he finds out anyone knows or was told about his problem
Edmondia: hm?
EnsTren: can't stand the touch of his yami
EnsTren: he throws up
EnsTren: that he's so fucked up that...that
EnsTren: the sex hurts because he can't stand to have his yami touch him, kiss him
EnsTren: because it takes all his willpower to not be ill
EnsTren: because something's wrong with him, not just his head, not just his body, but his very soul
EnsTren: he's doing his "protect, shelter" thing
EnsTren: by not telling
Edmondia: the fact that he keeps letting Seth touch him, I mean
EnsTren: because he kinda adopted Seth, and in twisted Seto fashion is trying to take care of him and make him happy
EnsTren: if he decided not to have sex, teenage male not having sex with his soulmate
EnsTren: it's a big cue off that something is wrong
EnsTren: so he has to let Seth touch him
EnsTren: but can't let him know to protect him
EnsTren: and it drives poor Seto crazy trying to be a yami to two people
EnsTren: by Yami I mean the typical protector shitck the yamis do
EnsTren: Seto's trying to protect Mokuba, trying to protect Seth
Edmondia: ...just had a very random thought
EnsTren: ah?
Edmondia: 'bout Seth and Seto having sex, and what it would take to get Seto to orgasm
EnsTren: well it depends how we go about it
EnsTren: the pain he feels, is it physical? Mental bleeding over to the physical? Of the soul bleeding over to other facets?
Edmondia: I imagine he could orgasm
EnsTren: fucked up joy of being with his yami matching the fucked up pain
Edmondia: yup
EnsTren: disturbingly he won't find the orgasm pleasant, prolly like he has one of those nasty STDs that make you feel like you're pissing fire
Edmondia: not entirely sure about that - could be a mixture of pleasure and pain
EnsTren: he'd get pleasure but he'd still be in pain
EnsTren: have his release but not have it pleasant
EnsTren: and Seth could go around convinced he's so good in sex he gets his sweet hikari to scream and cry and shiver after he orgasms
Edmondia: mrr... I imagine he'd get a bit suspicious after a while
Edmondia: simply because suspicion is in his nature
EnsTren: and go talk to the Yugis and be comforted
Edmondia: why do I now picture Seto throwing a jealous fit?
EnsTren: because he hates the fact he can't even seem to be what he's trying to be
EnsTren: I mean he's putting up with the kisses and Seth's libido and the agony that comes with it
EnsTren: and he's still not good enough
Edmondia: mmhmm - okay, odd thought
Edmondia: mmkay, so he throws a jealous fit, and then drags Seth home
Edmondia: not very rational at this point in time
Edmondia: chucks Seth into his bed
EnsTren: and tries to fuck him into liking him
Edmondia: Seth is perfectly okay with this idea
EnsTren: but not with how Seto pleads to know what he's doing wrong, what does he have to do?
Edmondia: exactly
EnsTren: why isn't he good enough for him
EnsTren: and that's disturbing to Seth
Edmondia: and Seth definitely knows something is screwed up when Seto starts bawling
Edmondia: and screaming at him
Edmondia: this is SO not a healthy relationship
EnsTren: are yami/hikari pairs normally healthy?
Edmondia: not when I write them *grin*
EnsTren: well they are as healthy as they can be considering it's a soul split in two along a light dark divide
EnsTren: but Seto/Seth is sooo fucked up
Edmondia: yup
EnsTren: odd thought
Edmondia: ?
EnsTren: Seto giving into kinky sex
EnsTren: he's probably seen people having sex in the bathrooms before, or reports, whatnot
EnsTren: you don't have to take clothing off for that, he could get away with that kind of sex without ANY skin to skin contact
Edmondia: mmhmm
Edmondia: was thinking that they'd figure out ways to do so
EnsTren: nylon stockings with a slit in them
EnsTren: condoms very important
Edmondia: mmmhmm
Edmondia: then it's just normal human contact
EnsTren: condoms, gloves, and liquid latex with the prerequisite full body wax
Edmondia: practically makes it a chore
Edmondia: or they could just have messy clothes-on sex
EnsTren: that too
Edmondia: which makes a little more sense, since they are teenage boys
EnsTren: but Seth would like liquid latex
Edmondia: yup, he would
Edmondia: anything to get closer
EnsTren: but they can't kiss
Edmondia: doesn't mean they won't
Edmondia: heat of the moment being what it is
EnsTren: even if it makes Seto's stomach twist, he still wants to kiss him
EnsTren: and Seto does curl up against him, head on his chest and cries afterwards, because he's not... enough, not right
Edmondia: mmhmm. but at least this way it doesn't hurt as much.
EnsTren: oh and don't forget for Seto having to cope with "I'm a terrible person" feelings
Edmondia: "I'm a terrible person" - why this time?
EnsTren: you can't get more terrible than knowing your soul is so fucked up that *points*
EnsTren: it's staring him in the face
EnsTren: no way he can get around it either
Edmondia: but at least they can manage sex
Edmondia: and Seth still wants him
Edmondia: they're gonna be happy when they can finally have nice sex
Edmondia: for some reason, I can see them having a lot of nice sex once that happens
EnsTren: cause Seto has a couple of years on teenage boy activity to catch up on
Edmondia: that he does
Edmondia: let's hope they don't scar Mokuba too badly
EnsTren: lucky Seth
EnsTren: but Seto will need to be reassured that no, he's not a horrible person and that no, Seth doesn't want another hikari
Edmondia: mmhmm. constantly.
EnsTren: cause he has a constant reminder that he's not good enough
EnsTren: might swing in and out of depression
EnsTren: especially if he persists in going to school
Edmondia: he will
EnsTren: there sits little Yugi, perfect, beats him, doesn't hurt
EnsTren: worthy
EnsTren: not a horrible twisted piece of filth like him
Edmondia: not to mention, Yugi is so wonderful that even Seth adores him
EnsTren: not good for his mentallity
EnsTren: He forced himself to stand on his own with Mokuba hanging off of him when there was supposed to be someone there for him. And when someone is finally there he can't find his balance.
EnsTren: leaving Seth to hold him up
Edmondia: still... poor boys.
Edmondia: lots of crying going on over at chez Kaiba
EnsTren: Seth and Mokuba would eventually gang up on him and make him take a semi working vacation
EnsTren: in Japan it doesn't matter how many classes you miss, so long as you can pass the tests
Edmondia: of course, then you have Yugi-tachi checking in on him every once in a while
EnsTren: and Seth grabbing Yugis and crying on them
EnsTren: kicking tombrobber and his out
EnsTren: kicking the dog out because Seto is convinced he's going to taunt him for his one huge horrible disgusting failure
EnsTren: kicking Honda out because of bad fashion sense
EnsTren: "He's fine," *slam!*
Edmondia: *giggle* What about Anzu?
EnsTren: "...Ew, fangirl!" *SLAM!*
Edmondia: and the Yugis just stare at them
EnsTren: Seth whining a bit, cause he wants to let them in, but they will upset Seto
EnsTren: because again and again he's not good enough
EnsTren: doesn't need any more reminders
Edmondia: heh. so Seth runs outside and glomps them, sobs a bit, then spins on his heel and runs back inside
EnsTren: and hopes Seto didn't see
EnsTren: and Seth can see why Seto's so angsty over not being the best
EnsTren: before he just delt with it, cousin is the king of games, can't beat him
EnsTren: but it seems so radically unfair when he sees that Seto literally twisted his soul, allowed it to be fractured so he could get what he wanted
Edmondia: lots of Seto-cuddling
EnsTren: it's kinda like...forgive the overstatement and floweryness
EnsTren: but a pure sweet virgin saying she'll go to the murading band as their whore if they leave her village alone. And she gets raped and left behind. She's still sweet and an incredibly good person, but a unicorn won't come near her
EnsTren: but damnit, she deserves that unicorn
EnsTren: but no unicorns.
EnsTren: no sucsess in what really matters to Seto, what he wants for himself, even though what he did for it
EnsTren: Buddah had a student. He refused to teach this person but the person cut off his hand to proove how much he wanted to learn. Buddah took him as his student and that's why Buddah statues have one hand raised, in acknowledgement of the sacrifice
EnsTren: Seto doesn't even get the acknowledgement
EnsTren: and he has proof that he suffered enough to change his core being, and not out of greed, but for his little brother. he deserves his unicorn.
EnsTren: *hugs him*
Edmondia: *hugs him too*
Edmondia: *Seth hugs him too too*
EnsTren: Seto: It's not fai.r
Edmondia: Seth: *snuggle* No, it isn't.
EnsTren: Seto: How wrong am I? How hideous is my soul?
Edmondia: Seth: *nuzzle* You're beautiful.
EnsTren: Seto: No I'm not. How can I be if I'm so twisted up inside that I...
EnsTren: Seto: Is my soul even a human's anymore? Perhaps I became an Asura while inhabiting this body. Perhaps I am a beast that I was made to be...
Edmondia: Seth: *slaps him resoundingly across the face*
EnsTren: (buddist reincarnation beings in hell who are tortured; Hungry ghosts, Gaki; animals; Asuras, realem of angry evil; HUmans; Devas)
Seto: *flinches back and cups his face, eyes wide* W-why? *hates how his eyes tear up*
Edmondia: Seth: *leans forward and kisses him swiftly* I love you. *kisses him again* I love you. *kisses him again* I love you. Don't talk about yourself that way. *kisses him slightly longer, just enough that it hurts* And I'm sorry, but I love you, and I won't let you keep doing this to yourself.
EnsTren: Seto: *his eyes well up and tears nearly spill at the pain* But it would explain why it hurts! Wouldn't it!? My soul's not what it's supposed to be, if it wasn't human it would explain why it hurts, why I'm so... so... so wrong!
Edmondia: Seth: *wraps his arms around him and pulls him against him, squeezing him possessively* Shh, shh... little light, little pretty light, little precious light, no, no, no, you're my darling, you are human... you're more human than anyone else I know... you're just hurt, lovely, you're just hurt, it's not your fault...
EnsTren: Seto: *hates crying, crying always makes it hurt more, let people hurt you. But it seems with his yami he can't not cry* But I did it to myself! I hit Mokuba! I'm not hideous, not light, not at all.
Edmondia: Seth: *holds him gently, swaying him like a child* But are you sorry, pretty love? You are, aren't you?
EnsTren: Seto: Sorry doesn't make it better. *he said after nodding against his yami's chest and clinging to the clothing, oh he wanted to touch his skin but that would be agony.*
Edmondia: Seth: *sighs against his hair* Little love, we all make mistakes - and you have been forgiven.
EnsTren: Seto: Then why does it hurt? Why can't I touch you? Why do I think he won?
Edmondia: Seth: *frowns and presses his face against Seto's shoulder* I don't know, pretty light... I don't know. Maybe... maybe it's because you haven't yet forgiven yourself...?
EnsTren: Seto: I've never been sorry for anything I did, never, until... until... *until you, until him. His yami took his hell away and gave him another one*
Edmondia: Seth: *sighs and nuzzles him* ...I want to kiss you...
EnsTren: Seto: *whimpered, bile in the back of his throat at the very conscious thought of it*
Edmondia: Seth: *sighs softly* That's what I thought...
EnsTren: Seto: How can you want me? Desire me, my light you say is there? I'm broken and twisted and shattered like one of Atemu's toys.
Edmondia: Seth: *snuggles against him, running his fingertips down his chest* Because I love you...
Edmondia: Seth: ...because you are beautiful, because you are brilliant, and because I love you.
EnsTren: Seto: You shouldn't. *I need you too* You should find someone better, a better hikari, one who's not fucked up. *just please don't let it be Katsuya*
Edmondia: Seth: *softly* But I do. I can't find anyone else because only you are perfect.
EnsTren: Seto: But I'm not, and you shouldn't!
Edmondia: Seth: *more forceful, now* I think you are, and I do!
EnsTren: Seto: But I'm not! I'm not perfect! The tombrobber's pair prooves it, he I they *chokes a little, a partial sob. Being second best is bad enough, but third? No, last?*
Edmondia: Seth: *very softly* But you are perfect to me. I don't care about that filthy thief - we aren't them, and you can't compare us to them, we're so different that it doesn't - it shouldn't matter.
EnsTren: Seto: *his tone turns accusing now* Then what about your "dear cousin" and Yugi!? *saddens* B-Because I'm not enough, not right, because I'm so fucked up you have to go to them when I should be enough!
EnsTren: Seto: *wrings his hands, obviously having managed to upset himself even more, squeezing the fingers and digging his fingernails into the back of his hands*
Edmondia: Seth: *kisses him again, longer and harder than before* Stop it, darling - please just stop it... Atemu... Yugi... they aren't you, they aren't a replacement, they aren't... they're not you, and I love you only.
EnsTren: Seto: But I'm not enough! *he said, despair in his voice, hating how he's wailing like a child* The one thing I was born to be I can't be!
Edmondia: Seth: *tears are burning in his eyes* But... but I love you... that should be all that we both need - I love you.
EnsTren: Seto: But I'm not what you should love! Why can't I ever have what I want? *realizes how presumptuous it sounds coming from him* Why can't I ever have what I want for just me? I wanted the blue eyes and the fourth didn't come to me. I wanted to be the best and I can't beat them. I want to be a good hikari to you but I'm not!
Edmondia: Seth: ...but you are a good hikari to me... I love you...
EnsTren: Seto: *reaches out to him, cupping his face* No I'm not! *tears streaming down his cheeks* If I was it wouldn't feel as if my hands were overcome with rot and leprosy, it wouldn't feel as if I had just drank soured milk and mouldy kimchee!
EnsTren: (*pets him* Seto will get better eventually, be able to kiss Seth with only a little queasiness)
Edmondia: (that's good.)
EnsTren: (eventually. Long term. like how this will benefit him)
Edmondia: (veeeeeeeeeeeeeery long term(
EnsTren: (Seth's reaction once he figures out what Seto was feeling in order to put up with kisses and sex with him, just to make him happy?)
Edmondia: "...what can I do for your forgiveness?"
EnsTren: and Seto would be all confused and stuff
Edmondia: and Seth would be kneeling at his feet, head bowed, clutching at his pant legs
EnsTren: and Seto, for all his brillant brains, wouldn't understand why. Mokuba doesn't need to apologize for being sick so Seto would have to take off work to take care of him
EnsTren: Seto might be trying to apologize back for not keeping it a secret better
Edmondia: Seth will have to make it clear why he feels he has to apologize and beg for forgiveness
EnsTren: and Seto will do something sweet without trying and say there's nothing to forgive
Edmondia: And Seth will promptly start sobbing all over his shoes
EnsTren: and Seto will eep and pull his coat out of the way
EnsTren: and maybe try to get him off his patent leather shoes
Edmondia: and Seth will just cry harder and mumble things like "You stupid idiot don't you know this is why I love you?"
EnsTren: and Seto will be all: /Because I don't want you to ruin my coat or my shoes?/
Edmondia: and Seth will keep on with the, "Gods I love you but you're such an idiot but I love you so much..."
EnsTren: and also "Damnit I'm supposed to be the protector here!"
Edmondia: "...I know why we're all fucked up! It's because we're BOTH idiots!"
EnsTren: and also, when Yugi, cause it's always Yugi, tells priestboi what's wrong with Seto
EnsTren: Seto sees Seth going to Yugis
EnsTren: Seto can't tell everything to priestboi
EnsTren: so decides to follow suit, thinking he can trust them
EnsTren: tells them what's wrong, because Yugi caught him once
EnsTren: makes them promise
EnsTren: break the promise and tell Seth eventually
EnsTren: and Yugi gently explains that Seth's touch makes Seto sick to his stomach and hurt so badly but he's been hiding it so he won't hurt him...
Edmondia: and Seth...
Edmondia: Will not be a happy camper
Edmondia: ranging from "How could he keep this from me?" to "Oh my gods I'm a terrible person so will you please kill me?"
EnsTren: and Seto doing seasawing too
EnsTren: between "Stop being weak!" "You're not going to leave me?" "I'm horrible and disgusting, you should leave me."
Edmondia: Seth will eventually be able to explain why he is upset, I think
EnsTren: Seto will still think he's an idiot, because to him, caring about someone is all about keeping secrets from them
Edmondia: and Seth will still think he's an idiot, because to him, caring about someone is all about being honest with them

EnsTren: strikes me that Seto, despite his privlage, lives semi frugally for his tax bracket
Edmondia: yeah, more or less
EnsTren: and you can bet Seth is going to attempt to break him of that habit
EnsTren: or at least get him to indulge
Edmondia: considering what he wore back in the day, hell yeah
EnsTren: "Hi-kari! I want a pool filled with chocolate syrup!"
EnsTren: "No!"
EnsTren: "I'll suck you off in it..."
EnsTren: "..."
Edmondia: "Right! I'll order it right now!"
EnsTren: "No you don't! Mokuba will eat it and get a stomachache from overeating! You will too!"
EnsTren: "Besides, we can fill up the jacuuzzii with milk faster..."
Edmondia: "..."
EnsTren: "It will be better for your skin."
Edmondia: "...okay."
EnsTren: *wanders away to call up the supermarket* Whole, 2% or skim? We can get heavy cream if you want.
Edmondia: *bounces after, starry-eyed* I don't CARE! ^_^
EnsTren: "Pervert. I'll get whole, it lasts longer." *completes the call*
EnsTren: "The truck will be here soon enough"
Edmondia: "Seto, darling, I love you!"
EnsTren: *laughs* "You always say that!"
EnsTren: "Yami... Is your magic restrained to shadow magic?"
Edmondia: "...not entirely... why?"
EnsTren: "Can you make it so even if we're in a relatively open place no one will see or hear us? Or keep them far enough away they won't?"
Edmondia: "I can try... why do you want me to, little light?
EnsTren: "I was thinking," nuzzle his shoulder slightly, "Maybe... vacation... Egypt... if you won't mind seeing it like it is now... but... sex on the Nile...?"
Edmondia: "...when do we leave?"
EnsTren: *kisses him though his shirt* "On the shore... the lotus flowers," *smiles against him*
EnsTren: "Next month."
Edmondia: "...I have to wait a MONTH?!"
EnsTren: "It gives you time to think up ways to make your cousin jealous while we're there."
Edmondia: "...it's still a whole month."
EnsTren: "Milk jacuzzi in the meantime."
Edmondia: "...good point."
Edmondia: (mmkay, bedtime)