EnsTren: Seto said something to me to Seth
EnsTren: Seto: /Yami?/
EnsTren: Seto: /Do you think... my soul, why it hurts... did I take something into myself... or did I cut something out?/
Edmondia: Seth: //I... I guess it's possible...//
EnsTren: Seto: /Which?/
Edmondia: Seth: //To be honest, I'm not certain. What could you have taken or lost?//
EnsTren: Seto: /I don't know. Am I just all twisted up inside? Do I have too much Darkness or did I just cut out some of my light? I.../ *the thoughts frighten and unsettle him*
Edmondia: Seth: *reaches forward and gathers him against him, frowning* //I'm not sure how you could do such a thing...//
EnsTren: Seto: /Bad things have happened to me, I did what I had to do to survive. How could I not?/
Edmondia: Seth: //Perhaps... you might have lost a little light protecting Mokuba...//
EnsTren: Seto: /Then how can I ever be whole if I lost it? How can it ever.../ *leaves the words "not hurt" unsent*
EnsTren: Seto: /You can't get your innocence back./
Edmondia: Seth: //...but you can always regain hope.//
EnsTren: Seto: /Hope's a lying bitch./
Edmondia: Seth: //...I hoped that I would find you.//
EnsTren: Seto: /...So?/
Edmondia: Seth: *smiles sadly* //It kept me from going insane.//
EnsTren: Seto: /I think I might have been insane, at least once./
Edmondia: Seth: //You had no hope...// *leans forward and brushes his fingers against his chest* //And you have healed....//
Edmondia: Seth: //And... I don't want you to hate me for this, but I think... perhaps, you were.//
EnsTren: Seto: *leaning against him, calm, a slight shrug* /I thought so./ *very dry, very accepting, not caring*
Edmondia: Seth: *blinks a little, then shrugs* //You don't seem disturbed by this. May I ask why?//
EnsTren: Seto: /I suspected it, and it's in the past./
Edmondia: Seth: //...that's a clear-cut way of thinking about it. ~oh!//
EnsTren: Seto: *blinks and looks up at him at the sudden exclaimation*
Edmondia: Seth: *has a calculating look on his face* //You said you thought that you might have lost some of your light. Could there be a corollation between that loss and your insanity?//
EnsTren: Seto: *considers it and slowly nods* /Perhaps. It's more likely it was a marker for when I... I became mentally unbalanced when my soul became unbalanced. When it broke off completely or was fully absorbed into me, or I twisted to the point I could not untwist on my own./
Edmondia: Seth: //...one mystery solved. You are a complicated one, pretty love.// *leans his forehead against his omote's, letting their hair block them from touching skin*
EnsTren: Seto: /I'm sorry./ *his blue eyes wander down and he sighs heavily*
Edmondia: Seth: //Why be sorry? It makes this new life of mine interesting.//
EnsTren: Seto: /But... we can't touch. And you won't let me give you what you want./
Edmondia: Seth: //...someday we will. And I won't let you hurt anymore, especially not for me. We all have problems, pretty iceling, ours our just more pressing than most.// *squeezes him gently*
EnsTren: Seto: *makes a sightly disgruntled slightly whining noise* /Sometimes I wonder.../
Edmondia: Seth: *snickers* //The tomb robber's been kicked out of Ryou's bed for the last two weeks. I'd say we've got one up on them.//
EnsTren: Seto: /No... not just that. What I mean is, all the other ones, they are on the extremes. But we're not./
Edmondia: Seth: *shrugs* //Can I help it if I'm the only normal one?//
EnsTren: Seto: /Well, if you imagine all of us pairs on out own teeter totters, the ones on the edges can move a little and it won't upset anything too much, up will still be all the way up and down still all the way down./
Edmondia: Seth: //...what is a 'teeter-totter'?//
EnsTren: Seto: *amusement and his hikari smiles at him* /Those see-saws... hmn... long planks on a pivot. A lever children play on to push each other into the air in turn./ *he formed an image in his head*
Edmondia: Seth: *blinks curiously at the image* //...and children ride these for amusement?//
EnsTren: Seto: /Small children mostly, and not so much any more,/ *absently shows him an image of children going up and down*
Edmondia: Seth: //...I wish I had one when I was little.// *a devious grin crawls over his face* //Coulda sent Atemu SPRAWLING.//
EnsTren: Seto: *buried his face against his Yami's chest and laughed silently* /It's a bit hard to do that, you'd have better off pushing him on a swing set and daring him to jump off./
Edmondia: Seth: *frowns, puzzled, against his hair* //What is a 'swing-set?'//
EnsTren: Seto: *wild happiness in him and he grins* /Come on, I'll show you!/ *he grabs his Yami by the wrist and starts dragging him though the house* /There's one in the backyard that I had set up for Mokuba./
Edmondia: Seth: *a wide, delighted grin spreads across his face*
EnsTren: Seto: /Teeter-totters made him feel ill so we don't have those, but there's a good swingset!/ *he smiled at his yami when he looked back at him* /Closest thing to flying besides scuba and sky diving./
Edmondia: Seth: *blinks curiously* //Sky-diving?//
EnsTren: Seto: *mental giggle* /I'll tell you later. If I tell you now you'll either demand to go do it right now or start yelling at me./
Edmondia: Seth: *blinks innocently* //Okay. Are we there yet?//
EnsTren: Seto: *drags him outside to the back yard and over to an odd construction of steel, chain, and rubber*
Edmondia: Seth: *starts poking at it curously*
EnsTren: Seto: *sits down on one of the "mini hammocks" of black rubber hanging from long chains* *backs it up so he's nearly standing up*
Edmondia: Seth: *follows his motions with curious eyes*
EnsTren: Seto: /I used to be pretty good at this,/ *he says, remembering fond childhood memories* *grips the chains and he pulls his legs staight up in front of him suddenly, swinging out in a small arc and then pumps his legs back and leans forward*
Edmondia: Seth: *tilts his head, a silly grin on his lips* "You look ridiculous."
EnsTren: Seto: /Shaddap Yami./ *He goes slightly higher than he started and at the peak he leans back and extends his legs again*
Edmondia: Seth: *ambles closer and hangs off of the metal supports* //Doesn't look too hard...//
EnsTren: Seto: *Hikari is very good at this, as he said, and soon has the chains creeking and going high up indeed* /Heehee./
Edmondia: Seth: *his eyes go wide* "Hikari! You giggled!"
EnsTren: Seto: *smirks as he zooms past* /Laugh...ing...at...you./
EnsTren: Seto: /Try...it...dare...you./
Edmondia: Seth: *eyes narrow at the challenge* //All right! I'll conquer this... uh, thing!// *parades over to the swing and stares at it for several long moments*
EnsTren: *his hikari laughs at him*
Edmondia: Seth: //Shut up!// *walks around it twice, then backs into it carefully, a la Seto - when it is snugly against his bum, he leans his weight into it, then pauses*
EnsTren: Seto: *is nearly going horizontal on his swing*
Edmondia: Seth: *carefully lifts his legs up and gently swings forward*
EnsTren:Seto: *zoom zoom*
Edmondia: Seth: *trying to figure out how to move his legs to give himself momentum*
EnsTren: Seto: *looks down at his Yami a bit sadly and jumps off it during a very low portion of his up swing, and quickly moves over to him* /Let me help you./
Edmondia: Seth: *rather defensively* //I can figure it out!//
EnsTren: Seto: *goes behind Seth* /I can help you./
EnsTren: Seto: *lightly puts his hands on Seth's back, fingers splayed*
Edmondia: Seth: *suspicious* //You aren't going to shove me off of this contraption, are you?//
EnsTren: Seto: *shakes his head* /No Yami, I'm going to push you so you have momentum, hold onto the chains, here,/ *lifts Seth's hands a little* /Pick your feet up now, most important thing is to not let them drag./
Edmondia: Seth: *does so, a little hesitantly* //Um, so what now?//
EnsTren: Seto: *slides his hands down, stooping over his yami as he wraps his arms around his waist and steps back slowly taking him up* /Try to feel how your weight shifts, you'll figure it out,/ *simplified image of the forces at work when you swing, how putting his weight into it gives it enough energy to go higher*
Edmondia: Seth: *slowly getting it, but distracted by the attention from his hikari* //So... the silly looking leg-swinging is necessary?//
EnsTren: Seto: /Yes... Legs out now because you're going to be going down, and then tuck them back in when you start coming back, okay?/
Edmondia: Seth: *cautiously* //Okay... do you push me now?//
EnsTren: Seto: *nuzzles him and lets him go, swinging down a little*
EnsTren: Seto: *and when his Yami comes back to him his hands seem to cradle him and lightly push him back with a bit more oomph*
Edmondia: Seth: *follows Seto's exact instructions, oofing softly the second time around*
EnsTren: Seto: /Sorry Yami./ *more careful the next time, he hasn't done this in a long time*
Edmondia: Seth: *slowly figuring out how his legs go* //I imagine you're a bit stronger this time around, hikari.//
EnsTren: Seto: /Taller too./ *he says non comittedly*
Edmondia: Seth: *slowly getting the hang of it, pumping his legs and gaining speed, a slow grin spreading across his face*
EnsTren: Seto: *smiling too... it's a pity his Yami can't see it* /Do you still need my help?/ *using only one hand now*
Edmondia: Seth: *emits the mental equivalent of a 'whee!'*
EnsTren: Seto: *takes that as a no and remounts his own swing to join his Yami*
Edmondia: Seth: *swinging happily, then a thoughtful expression crosses his face* //Seto, can two people swing on the same swing?//
EnsTren: Seto: *blinks as he considers it* /I never tried it... but I've seen double swings./ *supplies an image of the odd contraption in the place of the simple sling* /I suppose... if one was small enough to sit in the other's lap./
Edmondia: Seth: *manages to give him an sideways, imploring smile*
EnsTren: Seto: *smiles a little at him* /I don't think that would be safe but.../ *he adjusts himself to swing in synch with his yami and extends his hand to him*
Edmondia: Seth: *beams and grabs his hand*
EnsTren: Mokuba: *adds to the family album of happy memories*
Edmondia: Seth: *waves an arm for Mokuba to come join them*
EnsTren: Mokuba: *comes over and takes pictures much to Seto's embarrassment*
Edmondia: Seth: *takes a swipe at the camera but ruffles Mokuba's hair instead*
EnsTren: Seto: *stops swinging and is very flustered*
Edmondia: Seth: *grins somewhat evilly at him, then decides to show off* *loosens his hold on the chains and, when he's at the highest point of the arc, lets go, spins two somersaults in mindair, and lands with a graceful flourish*
EnsTren: Seto: *rightfully takes that as a challenge and hurries back to his swing, after telling Mokuba not to show anyone those pictures, and sets about getting high enough to jump as well*
Edmondia: Seth: *grins smugly at him, folding his arms and waiting patiently*
EnsTren: Seto: *getting up really high and does two backwards somersaults and a twist*
Edmondia: Seth: *pouts a little, then races back to his swing, determined to one-up him*
EnsTren: Seto: *doing his haughty look*
Edmondia: Seth: *doing his equally haughty look as he gets up really high and proceeds to double-somersault off, land on his hands, and handspring his way back to his omote*
EnsTren: Seto: *races to his swing, plotting*
Edmondia: Seth: *folds his arms and looks smug*
EnsTren: Seto: *jumps off the swing at the apex of the backswing doing two somersaults, backwards, hand spinging and moving into a simple series of cartwheels to make a turn and come back to his Yami*
Edmondia: Seth: *looks suitably impressed, and like he is desperately searching for a way to top that*
EnsTren: Seto: *wicked grin*
Edmondia: Seth: *frustrated glare*
EnsTren: Seto: *kisses*
Edmondia: Seth: *mutters* //You suck.// *kisses back*
EnsTren: Seto: /Do not... you're the one who sucks. Remember last night?/
Edmondia: Seth: *snicker* //I think my perversion is rubbing off on you, pretty iceling.//
EnsTren: Seto: *pouts at him*
Edmondia: Seth: *kisses the pout*
EnsTren: Seto: *softens*
Edmondia: Seth: *kisses the pout a bit more insistantly*
EnsTren: Seto: *kisses back*
Edmondia: Seth: //...you know, we're giving Mokuba a show.//
EnsTren: Seto: *turns and frowns at Mokuba*
Edmondia: Seth: //Well, we're giving him life lessons!//
Edmondia: Mokuba: *offers his brother a cheeky grin, hiding the camera behind his back*
EnsTren: Seto: *holds out his hand* Mokuba...
Edmondia: Mokuba: *wide, innocent eyes* Yes, niisama?
EnsTren: Seeto: Camera. Now.
Edmondia: Mokuba: *innocent as the devil* Camera? What camera? I don't see a camera. Seth, do you see a camera?
EnsTren: Seto: Mokuba, I'm taller than you, I can see behind your back.
Edmondia: Seth: *raises his hands defensively* I plead the fifth.
Edmondia: Mokuba: *is edging his way towards the house, camera held defensively behind him*
EnsTren: Seto: *dashes over and grabs it*
Edmondia: Mokuba: *eyes wide, snatches it back, and darts into the house*
EnsTren: Seto: *chasing after him*
Edmondia: Seth: *chases after Seto* Mokuba! Don't let him catch you!
EnsTren: Seto: /Traitor!/ *picks up the first pillow he sees and gets ready for a massive pillow fight*
Edmondia: Seth: "Run Mokuba! I'll distract this villainous camera-snatching fiend!" *darts around Seto, neenering*
EnsTren: Seto: *whacks him in the face with the pillow and continues on*
Edmondia: Seth: "Run, Mokuba! Save yourself!" *tackles Seto from behind and wrestles the pillow out of his grip*
EnsTren: Seto: *squeals and pushes at him* /Traitor!/
Edmondia: Seth: *calmly and pointedly bops him upside the head with the pillow* *calls after Mokuba* "Get double prints, and a cd!"
EnsTren: Seto: "Bitch!" *tumbles and tussles with him in good humor* "You better hide those Mokuba! If you show Yugi or one of his friends I'll ground you for a month!"
Edmondia: Seth: *eyes sparkle wickedly* "Make POSTERS!"
EnsTren: Seto: And you're on the couch!
Edmondia: Seth: *calmly and ceremoniously gives his omote a noogie*
EnsTren: Seto: Arrrggh!
Edmondia: Seth: *looks insufferably smug* This, pretty hikari, is why I am the high priest, and you are a loooooooooooser.
EnsTren: Seto: Not if you keep this up!
Edmondia: Seth: *smacks him upside the head again*
EnsTren: Seto: *struggling grumpy hikari*
Edmondia: Seth: *laughing playful yami*
EnsTren: Seto: *muffled cursing*
Edmondia: Seth: You're just unhappy 'cause I beat you at pillow-fighting. *ruffles his hair*
EnsTren: Seto: I beat you on the swings!
Edmondia: Seth: *pouts* You're just more experienced in that area.
EnsTren: Seto: Swings yes, but acrobatics?
Edmondia: Seth: *shrugs* I never had lessons. Did you?
EnsTren: Seto: Not really.
Edmondia: Seth: Well then.
Edmondia: Seth: *tucks the pillow under Seto's head and smiles down at him*
EnsTren: Seto: *pouts*
Edmondia: Seth: *eskimo kisses, still smiling*
EnsTren: Seto: *wrinkles nose*
Edmondia: Seth: *chuckles quietly* Pretty kitten.
EnsTren: Seto: /'m not an animal./ *sulky, at least he's not nearly violent*
Edmondia: Seth: *rolls his eyes* //I know, darling. It's a nickname. I give you those.//
EnsTren: Seto: *remains sulky*
Edmondia: Seth: Hikariiiiiiiiiiiiiii...
EnsTren: Seto: *sulksulksulk*
EnsTren: Seto: /Don't like being embarrassed./
Edmondia: Seth: *gives a pointed glance to their surroundings, which are completely devoid of people* //In front of whom, exactly?//
EnsTren: Seto: /Me!/
Edmondia: Seth: //Hikari, you do of course realize that you are talking to someone who has entertained himself by imagining all sorts of interesting ways to make you scream?//
EnsTren: Seto: *sulkpouts up at him*
Edmondia: Seth: *smirks slowly at him* //So, can I fuck you now?//
EnsTren: Seto: "No!"
Edmondia: Seth: *pouts* "But Mokuba's gone..."
EnsTren: Seto: Camera, posters, remember?
Edmondia: Seth: *sulks* Curses... thought I'd managed to distract you away.
EnsTren: Seto: *cranky look*
Edmondia: Seth: *pouts* Hikari, you're no fun.
EnsTren: Seto: I'm a business man.
Edmondia: Seth: And I'm a priest.
EnsTren: Seto: *turns his face away and pretends to ignore him*
Edmondia: Seth: Hikariiiiiiiiiiiiii... play with meeeeeeeee...
EnsTren: Seto: *ignoooore*
Edmondia: Seth: *frowns down at his omote, before his eyes take on a wicked glint* *runs his nails lightly down Seto's sides*
EnsTren: Seto: *stiffens his spine*
Edmondia: Seth: *grins evilly and starts tickling*
EnsTren: Seto: *bites his inner cheek and goes red in the face*
Edmondia: Seth: *evil grin deepens to demonic proportions as he redoubles his efforts*
EnsTren: Seto: /Stop it Yami. I don't want to play anymore./
Edmondia: Seth: *blinks, then pulls his hands back, giving his omote a curious look*
EnsTren: Seto: *not sulky, and only mildly cranky* *folds arms* *ayup, upset hikari*
EnsTren: Seto: *laying there rumpled.*
Edmondia: Seth: *resisting the urge to molest him, as he would undoubtedly get slapped* *leans down and rests his head on his chest instead, trying at cute puppy eyes and failing rather spectacularly*
EnsTren: Seto: *upset hikari, who had been playing and smiling and laughing and oh he had been brighter than Ra himself for just a few moments, and now was upset at him and cranky and just as bad as he had been when they first "met"*
Edmondia: Seth: *snuggles apologetically into his chest, one hand drifting up to toy with his hair* "'m sorry..." *mumbled into his chest*
EnsTren: Seto: *remains stubbornly still and silent. Except his hair, not even its utter neatness can resist Yami hands*
Edmondia: Seth: *sighs heavily and shuts his eyes* "What did I do this time?"
EnsTren: Seto: "I don't like being embarrassed" *he says at last, keeping an ice and steel barrier as wide as the sky and as deep as the ocean between their minds. Just a few moments ago they had been savoring and letting their thoughts twine around each other*
Edmondia: Seth: *his voice goes rather brittle in the face of his rejection* "I see. I embarrass you?"
EnsTren: Seto: "You want Mokuba to embarrass me. You told him to make posters and you stopped me from playing with him." *didn't mean to let that slip out but makes himself silent and not give it away*
EnsTren: Seto: *Pillowfights are supposed to last for a long time and be full of fun and laughter and feathers and pillows versus pillows, not being tackled and kept from Mokuba. Not being held down. No, you were supposed to let them up and play some more!*
EnsTren: Seto: *It's supposed to be a game and you fall down tired and panting and hug and pet because you're too tired and out of breath to do anything else. And then you go eat ice cream or something else and be happy.*
EnsTren: Seto: *It's not supposed to end so quick... it's supposed to be games... not adult things, it's not supposed to end in adult things, it's not supposed to be sex!*
EnsTren: *Just fun...*
Edmondia: Seth: *stiffens and pulls away from his omote, eyes on the ground* "I am sorry to have offended you, then. I will not interfere again." *quietly gets off of him and stands up*
EnsTren: Seto: *Wants to play again, desperately wants to play more, but at the same time he doesn't. As Seth often accuses him of, he killed the mood.*
Edmondia: Seth: *stands there listlessly, arms wrapped around himself, staring blankly at the empty room*
EnsTren: Seto: *Goes away into the mansion to a room. But not his room, not his bed, no that's the sex bed, and he doesn't want to see Mokuba now.* *goes to a gust room, and stares at the bed. Not a sex bed*
EnsTren: Seto: *doesn't know if he wants to sleep, or hide under the blankets or curl up... or hide under it.*
EnsTren: Seto: *goes over and starts pulling the blankets and sheets up, tossing the pillows about and turning* *you can't have a pillow fight with yourself. That's silly and stupid, and Seto Kaiba isn't stupid. No.*
Edmondia: Seth: *quietly makes his way out of the mansion - by the time he's halfway to the game shop, he's at a dead run*
EnsTren: Seto: *makes a bed nest for himself, pulling off his coat, a nice comfy bed nest that is perhaps more than a bit pillow fort* *curls up inside of it and makes the roof with his coat, it's a small place, and that's okay*
EnsTren: Seto: *he wishes he had his stuffed animal with him*
EnsTren: Seto: *He would go out and get it, but it's bright outside and he doesn't want to be seen. It would hurt his eyes and he doesn't want reminders but he doesn't know of what* *Yes... it's best to stay inside the small place, where it's nice and dark.*
Edmondia: Seth: *barges into the game shop without a word and runs past the assembled gang, darting behind the counter and tackling his cousin*
Edmondia: Seth: *curls up against Yami's chest and begins to sob bitterly, clinging to him desperately*
EnsTren: Seto: *Crying in his small dark safe place, tears burning hot on his cheeks. He wanted to play and... and... he's confused and upset and unhappy.* *Part of him is babbling and another part wishes. He begins to think maybe he shouldn't have put his place in the middle of the bed, that in the corner or in the closet would be better. Curled up in small places no one can get behind you and hurt you, or see you and laugh, or anything else bad.*
EnsTren: Seto: *Especially if you have your stuffed animal.*
EnsTren: Seto: *And almost certainly if it's a fine and brave Blue Eyes White Dragon. But he forgot his stuffed Dragon.*
Edmondia: Seth: *doesn't notice when Yugi ushers everyone out of the store, when he kneels at his side and wraps his arms around them both - all he knows is that he hurt him again, again, and he doesn't know what to do to make him better - he wishes he weren't so jealous, and it's all his fault again...*
EnsTren: *His hikari is messed up and upset, he can feel him over in the mansion hiding in a small dark hot place and being upset but not knowing why. And wanting his stuffed Blue Eyes White Dragon very badly.*
Edmondia: *And he thinks maybe he should run back and find it and give it to him and pet and coo and hold him, but his hikari won't like that, no, his hikari will scream and cry and make his heart hurt until he wants to die again to make the tears stop crying.*
EnsTren: *But maybe he'll thank him. His hikari won't be sweet when he's upset, he never is. But maybe he'll cling to him when he cries and sob and tell him what's wrong and then they can do what he wants and play and play and play until they are all so very tired and he can hold him and his stuffed Blue Eyes.*
Edmondia: *And Atemu's hands are very soft when he wipes away his tears, and his heart hurts because he does love them both, so much, so he squeezes them tight against him and tries to stop sobbing because he can't look like this when he runs back to his pretty hikari, he can't, and he's going to run back and apologize and then maybe maybe maybe he'll smile again?*
EnsTren: *And they'll play on the swings and hold hands and his hikari will not just smile, he'll laugh and giggle and do flips in the air and be as bright as Ra in the sky again...*
Edmondia: *And so he squeezes them tight-tight-tight and staggers upwards, and he kisses pretty Yugi's cheek and Atemu's pretty mouth, and he smiles at them both and then he's running again, running back to his lovely hikari, running back to save his smile and his pretty self because he loves him so much he can't breathe sometimes, and before he knows it he's back home and searching for his omote's favorite toy.*
EnsTren: *And he's crying. He mustn't cry! It might upset his hikari and his hikari, beatiful hikari so icy and only seems to have hurt hurt behind his icy walls, he'll cry too. And if he's crying his eyes get all blurry and he won't be able to find the toy and if his Hikari cries he won't be able to see it.*
Edmondia: *So he fumbles around through closets and piles of blankets until he can feel it so soft under his fingertips, and he wishes the world would stop swimming, but it won't, but he knows he has it and so he runs towards that ball of frozen light, like black ice at midnight, and he's so pretty always that it hurts him to see him there, buried in pillows and his coat and why are his eyes still so blurry?!*
EnsTren: *Maybe it's okay, he can hear his hikari crying under all the pillows and being so so sad. So he can't make his hikari cry if he already is crying, right? It's okay to cry, he tells his sweet lonely hikari always.* *His hikari just wants his stuffed dragon and his small dark place. His hikari doesn't want to go into the light.*
Edmondia: *So he crawls into the bed and coaxes the edge of his coat up, just enough to press the dragon against the opening so his pretty hikari will see it, and he holds his breath and waits to see what will happen.*
EnsTren: *His hikari turns in his dark circular pillow place with his back always to the walls like a babe in a mother's womb and reaches up and gently takes it from his hand, hugging it to his chest and crying harder. Oh but it was supposed to make his Hikari happy! Happy! What did he do wrong this time? ...But... pretty hikari isn't yelling, just holding what he very desperately wanted and sobbing, and... feeling a little better? Maybe?*
Edmondia: *He doesn't know if he's allowed to touch him or not, or talk, so he just sits quietly, biting his lip, and why doesn't he say something, is he still angry? But he's just crying, and he wishes he weren't crying, he wishes he could keep him from crying, keep them both from crying, so he lies down next to his fortress and cuddles against the same pillows that are cradling his hikari and he still doesn't know what to do.*
EnsTren: *Soon his hikari sniffled and told him, asked him in his pretty hikari voice that was so very much like his giggle. And of course he was happy, more than happy to comply and turn off the lights and close the door and blinds for his hikari. Because his Hikari asked him something and he'd do anything to please him.*
Edmondia: *And he curled up against the pillows where his hikari was again and waited for his pretty hikari to tell him what else he wanted, and he's being very good and not reaching for him, he is, and he asks very softly if he wants anything else, if he can do anything else?*
EnsTren: *And what was that? Nothing was said but oh... Oh! A little hikari hand reaching though the pillows and gently gently reaching around and touching him, fingers letting his clever hikari's mind know that yes it is him and not some pillows.*
Edmondia: *And now he's smiling even though it still hurts inside, but hikari's hand is so soft and so gentle and and curls against it, wants to curl up with him, but he doesn't move because that might upset him, so he stays very still and lets the soft hand run over him, and all the while the world is still blurred and he's torn somewhere between happy and sad.*
EnsTren: *The hand pulls away and his hikari tumbles in the pillow womb again and from the little hole he reaches out again with his other hand. He pat pat pat his Yami and found his arm, flinching when he touched the skin of his hand, but persisted still.*
Edmondia: *And he was very good, held very still, let his pretty hikari's hand wander around him and didn't squirm or whimper or grab him and cuddle him and squeeze him, no, he just lay there quietly and indulged him, because he'd do anything for him, he would.*
EnsTren: *And he touched his Yami and found his wrist and lightly lightly tugged his arm over to the hole so he could find it again. His hikari then pushed pushed at the pillows, making it wider and turning them because his hikari was very clever and knew how to do this without making it all fall down.*
Edmondia: *And he lay very still because he didn't want to mess it up the way he messed up everything else his hikari did, even though he wanted to crawl in beside him and squeeze him tightightight, but he was determined to never ever hurt him again, he was, and he knew that if he moved his little hikari would be upset.*
EnsTren: *And his hikari reached up out of the bigger hole and traced his arm up to his chest. He was getting very close to his neck. Oh! He touched his neck, the skin there. He could hear the hiss of pain, perhaps imagined instead it was his hikari's flesh that made the sound, like water droplets on a hot frying pan. But his hikari had such a beautiful strong will and kept going, patting his other shoulder.*
Edmondia: *And he wished he could stop hurting him, he wished that he could only feel pleasure when he touched him, and no matter what his pretty hikari said it was his own fault, it was, and he was still crying, still crying, and he wished he weren't but he knew he still was.*
EnsTren: *The pretty hand, deft fingers, very soft soft touching him and going down his arm. Carefulcareful to no touch his hand and pull his hand by the wrist over to the other hand.*
Edmondia: *And he wondered what he was doing, arranging him like a doll, but if his hikari wanted a doll, he would be a doll, he would let him do whatever he wanted.*
EnsTren: *The hand pulled back and oh, did he see a very blue eye peek out at him? Darting about like those funny bee like birds who hummed? Maybe maybe! And he realized his hikari stopped crying, but his hikari always stopped doing anything when he was working. Two hands came out this time and the left rested on his wrists and the other patted up his arm.*
Edmondia: *And he wondered what he was looking for, what he was after, but he was happy that he wasn't crying anymore, and he brushed against his mind, quickquick, just enough to taste him.*
EnsTren: *His hikari didn't even notice, and that was good because he might have been angry. All his hikari was thinking about was moving him in a special way. And his hikari pushpushpushed on his top shoulder and pullpullpulled it down. Wanting him to movemovemove to be on his stomach.*
Edmondia: *So he did what he wanted, and rolled over onto his stomach, and wondered what it was that his hikari was doing.*
EnsTren: *Oh and oh! His hikari reached up across his chest again, it was very hard to. He resisted the urge to move because he was afraid of hurting him again and nearly succeeded. But he didn't think his hikari would notice him lifting his chin up high so not to touch him?*
EnsTren: *Pretty Hikari hands fisted tighttight in the front of his shirt and tighttight high up on his sleeve and tugtugged him into his hikari's dark private place, though the hole he made. He had to wiggle on his stomach to come in. His hikari moved out of his way and only tugged tugged a bit on places on his shirt to urge him on.*
Edmondia: *And his hikari's dark private place was close and soft and warm and familiar, like the Shadows that hugged him and it smelled like his hikari, and he was so warm that he just wanted to melt inside him.*
EnsTren: *And his hikari and his hikari's most favored toy hughugged him tight. All the math and numbers and lines and plans for moving him inside dropped away from his hikari's mind and his hikari started crying again.*
Edmondia: *And he finally let himself move, let him squeeze and hold and pet, cuddled against him and he was crying again too, they were both crying in the warm soft quiet darkness and he loved him so much and he wished he could keep him from ever crying again.*
EnsTren: *But his hikari always cried and at first he thought it was a good thing because his hikari lied to him and told him he felt good when really he was going and throwing up all his food and taking showers to clean away his touch. And later his hikari cried because he upset him or hurt him or did something wrong like he did this time. But never in happiness, never in pleasure.*
Edmondia: (*huggle* Nainai, nemichan)