EnsTren: (Behold me, for i am the most awesomly rared and pisseded off dragon)
Edmondia: (oh dear. what's wrong?)
EnsTren: (AIM wouldn't let me on for like an hour)
Edmondia: (oh, mine too)
EnsTren: (ah)
EnsTren: (where were we? I was intrested in yami's reaction to the "it was hot" comment)
Edmondia: (he got pissed)
EnsTren: (heh)
EnsTren: ("Comeon, cousin, I don't want them with each other anymore than you want them to be, but imagine them kissing and their lights causing each of them to be brighter and stronger, building off each other, driving each other crazy while we watch and begging us to join them")
EnsTren: (when seth's upset he excersizes his frustrations or distracts himself with pervertedness)
Edmondia: (Atemu growled at him. "Fantasize about your hikari, not mine.")
EnsTren: ("I'm not fantizing about your hikari, I'm fatizing about how bright your hikari could make mine")
Edmondia: (Atemu made a face at him.)
Edmondia: ("Leave my hikari out of your perversion.")
EnsTren: ("My hikari could make your hikari bright.")
Edmondia: ("My hikari is already bright.")
EnsTren: ("But isn't he brighter when he is with his friends?")
Edmondia: ("...maybe.")
EnsTren: ("And he considers my hikari to be his friend, doesn't he?")
Edmondia: ("Yeah...")
EnsTren: ("And two lights are brighter than one?")
Edmondia: ("Maybe.")
EnsTren: ("Just imagine them...getting ready for us together, perhaps kissing each other like girls do now, each of them building off the other until they are so bright they almost burn in our arms and are desprete for us to quench it.")
Edmondia: (Atemu made a slightly strangled noise.)
EnsTren: (Seth smiled down at his cousin. When things upset him he excersized his feelings, or ignored them using his perversions--but not to the extent his hikari pretended.)
EnsTren: ("And if they were closer we could....use the room," he tilted his head towards the door leading to where his hikari was.)
Edmondia: (He shook his head sharply, lightly slapping himself in the face. "Stop that, cousin.")
EnsTren: (Seth grinned and persisted, at least until it the edge of the pain from his hikari dropped away, "They could sit in our laps, wrapped in linnen kilts, and you could feed him gazzelle and honeyed breadcakes.")
Edmondia: (Atemu blinked hard. "Gah." He shook his head again, shooting Seth a decidedly dirty look.)
EnsTren: ("Fish fresh from the Nile...")
EnsTren: (His cousin was grinning.)
EnsTren: ("Fresh dates...Lettuce, onion...")
Edmondia: (Atemu snorted a laugh. "Those were nasty as hell, and you know it.")
EnsTren: ("Oh fine, But it would be Min's lettuce, not the stuff they sell in the store.")
EnsTren: ("And...perhaps an outfit for your hikari like mine has...")
EnsTren: ("Made of gold thread and jewels...")
Edmondia: (His eyes went glazed.)
EnsTren: ("Gold armlets and anklets that ring out music when you take him...")
Edmondia: (He choked a little.)
EnsTren: ("Silk...")
Edmondia: (He bit his lip.)
Edmondia: ("Stop trying to distract me, cousin.")
EnsTren: ("I'm trying to distract you and using you as a focus and prop, now co-operate.")
Edmondia: (He rolled his eyes. "Fine.")
EnsTren: ("Little tiny gold chains wanging from his hips and gracing his thighs.")
Edmondia: ("Hmn...")
Edmondia: (He closed his eyes, humming in the back of his throat. "Pretty.")
EnsTren: ("Rubies pressed into thin ovals of silver, hanging off him looking like fishscales")
Edmondia: ("Mmmhmm..." a slight smile lifted the curve of his lips.)
EnsTren: ("Electrum in his hair...")
Edmondia: ("Pretty hikari...")
EnsTren: ("Shining brighter than ever hikari, ith cloathing and jewlery to match.")
Edmondia: ("Mmm." His eyes remained closed, the same smile on his lips. "Nice.")
EnsTren: ("Hikari made me myold outfit, though he dyed it purple, he could do the same for you..")
Edmondia: ("Heh. Purple?")
EnsTren: ("Yes," he grumped, "He said they dressed me up like a giant phallical symbol.")
Edmondia: (Atemu snickered. "Your hat was very big...")
EnsTren: ("Shaddup.")
Edmondia: (He grinned mock-innocently. "I only speak the truth, dear cousin.")
EnsTren: ("Don't make me hit you with my rod," he said dryly.)
Edmondia: ("Ooo, kinky.")
EnsTren: ("I'm sure our hikaris would like to watch.")
Edmondia: (Atemu looked him up and down slowly, a dark smirk on his lips. "Yugi would beat you half to death and then set you on fire.")
EnsTren: ("Baka, and it would turn you on, wouldn't it! I was talking about the same way we want to see them together.")
Edmondia: (Atemu licked his lips. "Not my fault he's sexy when he's evil.")
EnsTren: (Seth flinched and stared longingly at the door, "My hikari thinks he is, no matter how often I tell him how good and pure and bright he is.")
Edmondia: (Atemu sighed, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I know... I suppose I didn't help him much with that, did I?")
Edmondia: ("...but his soul is pure now. We all know it.")
EnsTren: ("He doesn't.")
Edmondia: ("Have you any idea of how to convince him?")
Edmondia: ("I know aibou's tried, Jounouchi's tried...")
EnsTren: ("No...He...He has no place to go that's his own except these fantasies, you know.")
EnsTren: ("At least...he knows it's not real, he's aware that he's pretending.")
Edmondia: ("Nowhere else?")
EnsTren: ("Unless you count the corridor between our soul rooms.")
Edmondia: ("You haven't decided on secret places for each of you?" Atemu sounded puzzled.)
EnsTren: ("No...what I mean is he can't go into his soul room, he doesn't like it.")
Edmondia: ("I know the feeling," Atemu muttered ruefully.")
EnsTren: ("Do you have a monster in your soul room?")
Edmondia: ("Several. And about a thousand traps.")
EnsTren: ("Do your monsters whisper things in your ear?")
Edmondia: ("I trapped them. They scream at me, but Yugi can quiet them.")
EnsTren: ("Do they look like you?")
Edmondia: (He looked away, eyes dark.)
EnsTren: ("Are they you? Telling you what a disgusting being you are and to kill yourself and and...")
Edmondia: ("And what if they are?! Does it matter?!")
EnsTren: ("My hikari has one, under his bed.")
Edmondia: (Atemu frowned. "That's too close.")
EnsTren: ("More than too close cousin, you should see the bed.")
Edmondia: ("I heard Jounouchi.")
EnsTren: ("The bed...is suppose to represent, to be our comfort, right?")
Edmondia: (Atemu looked thoughtful. "I suppose... a place of rest?")
EnsTren: ("My hikari doesn't sleep much.")
EnsTren: ("He does not find the bed to be of comfort to him.")
Edmondia: ("Is that why he always sleeps through class?")
EnsTren: ("Yes.")
Edmondia: ("Aaa. That's not good.")
EnsTren: ("It wants to kill him you know.")
Edmondia: ("That's even less good.")
EnsTren: ("I eatched him sleep on the bed once, it creeked and it reached out to claw at him and said horrible horrible things...And I couldn't stop it or wake him up.")
Edmondia: ("You couldn't quiet it?")
EnsTren: ("No. He's had it for...a very long time I think")
Edmondia: ("...have you given him earplugs?")
EnsTren: ("He doesn't sleep there much, I let him into my soul room, but it hurts unless he's wrapped up in something from his own.")
Edmondia: ("And he sleeps with you?")
EnsTren: "He can't. It hurts him more there--without the benifit of flesh to buffer it. He told me of why pain fades after a long time, told me that when Yugi touched him after a while his body stopped hurting but..."
Edmondia: "I meant in your bed. You can protect him best there."
EnsTren: "Touch hurts, and what if the comforter slips? He sleeps in my bed sometimes."
Edmondia: "You need to be closer than that if he's going to leech out any of your darkness."
EnsTren: "We're close outside of the soulrooms."
Edmondia: "Unions are best in soul rooms."
EnsTren: "It hurts him"
Edmondia: "Then you must hold him until the pain stops."
EnsTren: He gripped Atemu's shoulder, his eyes cloased and voice a whisper, "It doesn't."
Edmondia: He reached over and cupped his cheek. "It will. Have faith, my priest, lest we all be lost."
EnsTren: "Maybe we already are."
Edmondia: He pressed a finger to his lips. "When did you lose your heart?"
EnsTren: He leaned back against a wall to keep himself upright, slumping and staring at nothing. "I-I...I don't know."
Edmondia: Atemu leaned against him, eyes closing. "He should be all you need, cousin."
EnsTren: "But I'm not what he needs."
Edmondia: "Aren't you?"
EnsTren: "He needs light. Sometimes I feel as if I'm sucking up all the light he has left and crushing it"
Edmondia: "You should brighten him. It's what he needs you for."
EnsTren: "Have you see how he cries? How sick he gets?"
Edmondia: "I have."
EnsTren: "How does that brighten him?"
Edmondia: His eyes opened, and he looked up at his cousin, a hint of sadness in his gaze. "You make him alive."
EnsTren: "He wishes he were dead, sometimes."
Edmondia: "You should remind him it doesn't seem to solve any problems."
EnsTren: "Threatening sucicide...It's the only time he won."
Edmondia: "You've been fighting?"
EnsTren: "No, against you, cousin," sad smile.
Edmondia: "Aaa..." he looked away, then pressed his fingertips against his smile. "Would you prefer this had never happened?"
EnsTren: "Define "This.""
Edmondia: He brushed his fingers over his puzzle, glanced at the rod.
EnsTren: "...If it ment he would be...un harmed."
Edmondia: "If not for me, your hikari would be... inhuman."
EnsTren: "But...if he wasn't destined to be a hikari, would he have ended up in that situation?"
Edmondia: "One cannot control the way lives are lived. It is entirely possible."
EnsTren: "My poor hikari..."
Edmondia: He took his hands and wrapped them around his waist. "There was nothing that you could do."
EnsTren: "I could have gotton to him faster."
Edmondia: "How?"
EnsTren: "I don't know, but I could have! I should have.."
Edmondia: "You can't change the past."
EnsTren: "..."My hikari says he has nothing of his own.
Edmondia: "He has you."
EnsTren: "He doesn't believe that I'm only his, and in his view...I guess it's true. I wish...I could tell him he had something, something he could believe and agree with--it would make him feel so much better, I think."
Edmondia: "He has Mokuba, he has his company, he has Kisara..."
EnsTren: "Mokuba is his own person," he replied dully repeating his hikari's words, "The company is not his, I think that was adaquetly prooven by how people try to take it away, the fact that they can try."
EnsTren: "And...Kisara--I'm the one that met her, and one of the dragons abandoned him for your aibou's grandfather, and you know very well they were all ment for him."
Edmondia: "Ah... but he has his dreams."
EnsTren: "Those?" He pointed at the door, "Or do you mean the things that can never be true? Or the things he makes?"
Edmondia: "He is a creator, is he not?"
EnsTren: "No, they don't legally belong to him."
EnsTren: "Company's."
Edmondia: "The patents are in his name."
EnsTren: "Partially."
Edmondia: "Why partially?"
EnsTren: "If they were fully in his name he could put a clause in his will disallowing Kaiba Corp to manufacture them if he died under suspicious circumstances."
Edmondia: "And...?"
EnsTren: "It partially belongs to the company."
Edmondia: "Aaa. And his playthings...?"
EnsTren: "Which ones?"
Edmondia: "His toys, his games, his puzzles?"
EnsTren: "I told you, he stopped playing."
EnsTren: "And you stole them from him."
Edmondia: Atemu heaved an annoyed sigh and pinched him. "Are you blaming me for his fragility?"
EnsTren: "I'm just stating a fact."
EnsTren: "You stole himself from him, even though he needed it, long before I came, and you stole his place as world champion."
EnsTren: "No, you earned it, I know this cousin, but to him it was stolen out from under him."
Edmondia: "I cannot give it back."
EnsTren: Seth picked up a book and cracked it open, leafing though it. "I know this, and he has accepted that. Besides, I belive he sees it even if you could it would not be his, because your name was on it as well."
Edmondia: Atemu leaned against the wall with a soft sigh. "His future is his own, at least."
EnsTren: "Maybe I can tell him that..."
EnsTren: He ran his fingers down the print on the page, tracing the verses.
Edmondia: "And whether he believes it or not, you are his."
EnsTren: "Yes, he knows that, but says I am others' as well."
Edmondia: "Why?"
EnsTren: "I love you as he loves Mokuba."
EnsTren: He turned more pages.
Edmondia: "And we both know perfectly well we'd kill each other for the sake of our light."
EnsTren: "Sometimes...I think about asking you to kill me, or attacking you to make you kill me, destroy me, so he would have himself again."
EnsTren: "He often looks at this one," and he tapped the page, "This one right here but I don't know who he thinks it is."
Edmondia: Atemu leaned over his shoulder, glancing down at the page. "What is it?"
EnsTren: "A poem, by some american or maybe europian woman."
EnsTren: "I don't suppose your hikari knows enough english for you to read it?"
Edmondia: "A bit..."
EnsTren: "Shall I then?"
Edmondia: He tilted his head. "I suppose..."
EnsTren: He strightened importantly, linking him mentally to the meaning of the words and recited:
He fumbles at your Soul
As Players at the Keys
Before they dropt full Music on -
He stuns you by degrees -
Prepares your brittle Nature
For the Etheral Blow
By fainter Hammers - further heard -
Then nearer - Then so slow
Your Breath has time to straighten -
Your Brain - to bubble Cool -
Deals - One - imperial - Thunderbolt -
That scalps your naked Soul -

When Winds take Forests in their Paws -
The Universe - is still -
Edmondia: Atemu blinked.
EnsTren: "I wonder who he identifies as "him.""
Edmondia: "I don't know..."
EnsTren: "Sometimes I think it is you, other times me, some times dead people."
Edmondia: "It could be any of these."
EnsTren: He flipped more pages, to find the next well worn groove and the next poem.
EnsTren: "I liked this one, but...He said it's nice enough but doesn't believe in the last word."
Edmondia: "Oh?"
EnsTren: Superiority to Fate
Is difficult to gain
'Tis not conferred of Any But possible to earn

EnsTren: (gah I forgot a full stop)
EnsTren: A pittance at a time
Until to Her surprise
The Soul with strict economy
Subsist till Paradise.

Edmondia: Atemu snorted softly. "He doesn't believe in the last but kissed my light?"
EnsTren: "He wished for it, tried to pretend he could taste it."
Edmondia: Atemu blinked at him. "He could."
EnsTren: A raised eyebrow, "Though the pain? Though the dispare?"
EnsTren: Pages turned, looking and finding.
Edmondia: "Yes."
EnsTren: "He didn't think so."
Edmondia: "Then why did he keep playing?"
EnsTren: "To pretend the pain away"
Edmondia: Atemu tilted his head slightly, eyes faraway. "Aibou apologizes."
EnsTren: "He doesn't want it."
EnsTren: "Doesn't want apologizes, he feels he should be the one apologizing, but is too stubborn to do it."
Edmondia: "Why would he apologize?"
EnsTren: "For kissing him when yugi didn't like it--or him."
Edmondia: "...Yugi likes him fine," Atemu answered shortly.
EnsTren: "He doesn't think so."
Edmondia: "...aibou wants to know how he can convince him otherwise."
EnsTren: "Honestly, I don't think he can."
Edmondia: Atemu's fine brows drew down in a scowl. "Your hikari is very annoying, cousin."
EnsTren: "Shut up, Atemu."
Edmondia: Atemu glared at him.
EnsTren: Seth was already glaring.
EnsTren: "...But I want to know, he was too upset to tell me, how did he get that idea in his head? For a while, despite the pain he was in, I thought he was getting a little better, maybe a lot."
Edmondia: "I don't know either!"
EnsTren: "Does Yugi know?"
Edmondia: He frowned for a moment, eyes going blank. "Aibou says they were just kissing, and then he... 'freaked out'?"
EnsTren: "And what did he do right before he "freaked out?""
Edmondia: "...sighed?"
EnsTren: "..."
EnsTren: "Sighed how?"
EnsTren: "I mean, how would you like it if yugi sighed while kissing you as if it were a chore?"
EnsTren: "Maybe he misinterpeted it?"
Edmondia: "He does that all the time - maybe?"
EnsTren: His eyes dropped and found the book, "He just wants a crumb, but too much has been poisoned."
Edmondia: Atemu sat on the desk and propped his chin on his hands. "He has everything he needs," he pointed out softly.
EnsTren: "No he doesn't. He would were he normal, but he's not."
EnsTren: "My hikari is poisoned by his past experiances."
Edmondia: "Then what does he need?"
EnsTren: A smile his eyes still on the page, "A crumb--but he's too afraid, too willing to believe, that it's poisoned when a feast is offered."
Edmondia: "He has a feast."
EnsTren: "He thinks it's poisoned so he refuses it. And that it will weigh him down when he needs to flee, so he refuses it. He's so used to supporting and protecting other people, so he refuses it."
Edmondia: "And what can you do to convince him otherwise?"
EnsTren: "I don't know."
Edmondia: "Does he love you?"
EnsTren: "Yes, but we both know how long it took him to accept that."
Edmondia: "Mmm... does he think of you as poisoned?"
EnsTren: "I hurt him, don't I?"
Edmondia: "...maybe we should let Yugi keep kissing him."
EnsTren: "He doesn't want him too--YOU don't want him to."
Edmondia: Atemu's eyes were very dark. "Does it matter? He can help him heal."
EnsTren: "...That's unexpectedly kind of you, Pharaoh."
Edmondia: "...aibou has that affect on people."
EnsTren: "Do you think I weaken him? My hikari, I mean."
Edmondia: "No."
EnsTren: "I think I do, sometimes."
EnsTren: "He used to have bars around his soul, so no one could get in or out and just by joining with him I tore them all down."
Edmondia: "That's not necessarily a bad thing, cousin."
EnsTren: "I feel as if I stripped his soul bare."
Edmondia: "His soul is yours."
EnsTren: "He doesn't like that, no, he does, but..."
EnsTren: "But now he no longer belongs to himself."
Edmondia: "But he has you."
EnsTren: "And I have you and if I gave you up he'd never forgive himself."
Edmondia: "And he has Mokuba."
EnsTren: "And that's it."
Edmondia: "You're not much better off."
EnsTren: "I have him and Mokuba, and you and your hikari and a little bit of his friends. Did you know last week I kicked Jou's ass in the arcade?"
EnsTren: "Honda tormented him for it."
Edmondia: "He could have them too."
EnsTren: "Yes, but he's afraid...and..." He fiddled with his sleeve nervously.
Edmondia: "And...?"
EnsTren: "Hikari is very smart." He said simply, "The people hikari works with are older than him, some much older and all have gone to school for years and years."
EnsTren: "And he's still smarter than them."
Edmondia: "And...?"
EnsTren: "Your hikari and his friends...Aren't as smart, even if they are his age..."
EnsTren: "Your...your hikari, and you too, and me...we're good at gaming and stragety, right?"
Edmondia: "And running countries, yes."
EnsTren: A small distracted nod, "And can we do anything else very very well?"
Edmondia: "...kill people?"
EnsTren: "And magic."
EnsTren: "That's...five things, right?"
Edmondia: Atemu shrugged. "Broadly, yes, ignoring the countless other things that come with them."
EnsTren: "Hikari is very very very smart...He scares me sometimes he's so smart."
EnsTren: "He invents, and knows all about law that exists today, and rules his company and he doesn't have anyone like we had, you met the Big Five, Atemu."
EnsTren: "And he's growing by leaps and bounds in his magic."
EnsTren: "And he knows a great deal about healing and anatomy--more than the doctors in our time."
EnsTren: "And eyes, he knows about eyes enough to make a fake one that can see."
Edmondia: "Yes."
EnsTren: "He knows about marketing and positioning games and programing"
EnsTren: "He knows about martial arts and old weapons and old codes of conduct."
Edmondia: "Yes."
EnsTren: "He can do them too, the martial arts and use the weapons and so much more than I can do."
Edmondia: "Then, perhaps, dear cousin, you should start learning something new?"
EnsTren: "I am, I try to...But what I'm saying is..He says he has no peers, and I tried to argue with him, but...I'm beinging to see his point."
Edmondia: "We all have our talents... that we can share with no other."
EnsTren: "My hikari has many talents, more knowledge than people three times his age, more knowledge than geniuses twice his age."
Edmondia: "Strange... I could have sworn I heard something similar about a young boy who was rising in the priesthood several millennia ago..."
EnsTren: "I am his Yami, of course we match."
EnsTren: "But does anyone else?"
Edmondia: "We can't all match. Our strengths play off one another."
EnsTren: "What we're looking for is a catagory."
Edmondia: "Then no, I'm afraid he's the only billionaire we have."
EnsTren: "Mental catagory, cousin."
EnsTren: "Abilitity wise"
Edmondia: "Even so, he's our only hacker."
EnsTren: Seth blushed faintly, "I'm learning...You'd be surprised how easy programing code is..."
EnsTren: "And mokuba is quite good."
Edmondia: "Mokuba... is a bit young. And I'm hardly surprised, cousin."
EnsTren: "Cousin, who can challenge my hikari, besides myself, as you said he needs others beside me."
EnsTren: "Let's use duel monsters since it is what the majority plays, alright?"
Edmondia: "All right..."
EnsTren: "Who can challenge him?"
Edmondia: Atemu raised an eyebrow.
EnsTren: "Atemu, answer the question."
EnsTren: "People that have at least a fifty percent chance of beating him."
Edmondia: He sighed. "Myself, hikari, you, maybe Malik, perhaps Bakura..."
EnsTren: "I don't count"
Edmondia: "You might try. It proves an interesting challenge."
EnsTren: "I don't count because we are looking at people besides me."
EnsTren: "And I remind you that hikari figured out how to beat malik's...periced...guy...zombie thing, before you did."
Edmondia: Atemu blew him a raspberry.
EnsTren: "Though looking at the memory of you on your knees was something I didn't believe until he showed it to me."
Edmondia: "There was a huge dragon thing that wanted to fry me. I was perhaps a bit too distressed."
EnsTren: Seth blew him a raspberry.
EnsTren: "So Malik and Bakura, maaaybe, possibly. And you and your hikari definetly."
Edmondia: "If Jounouchi keeps practicing..."
EnsTren: "Do you honestly believe that?"
Edmondia: Atemu smirked at him. "Well, it would be amusing, wouldn't it?"
EnsTren: "No it wouldn't be," he said flattly, folding his arms and glaring down at him, "It would kill my hikari, that's not funny."
Edmondia: "Did I say Jounouchi would win?"
EnsTren: He continued to glare at him.
Edmondia: Atemu grinned innocently at him. "They do play well together, you must admit."
EnsTren: Seth growled.
Edmondia: Atemu smirked a bit. "You have to admit they're pretty when they fight."
EnsTren: Seth was not amused.
Edmondia: "...what?"
EnsTren: Seth shook his head with disgust and started to walk away.
Edmondia: "Seeeeeeeeeeeth..."
Edmondia: "Did I really piss you off that much?"
EnsTren: "Yes."
Edmondia: "Then I apologize to you."
EnsTren: "And you won't mention it again."
Edmondia: "Very well."
EnsTren: Seth sighed and came back, but not as close to his cousin as he had been.
Edmondia: "Cousin... I am sorry."
Edmondia: "Please don't be angry with me?"
EnsTren: Seth gave him a slightly nasty look from under his bangs.
Edmondia: Atemu bowed apologetically. "Please?"
EnsTren: "Why?" He really was picking up on his hikari's personality and habbits.
Edmondia: "Because I am sorry for upsetting you."
Edmondia: "Cousin?"
EnsTren: "What," he snapped irritably.
Edmondia: "...did I really make you that mad?"
EnsTren: "YES."
Edmondia: He looked at his feet, suddenly looking much younger than he was. "...I'm sorry..."
EnsTren: Seth sighed and deflated, "It's alright, 'temu...it's just I worry so much about him..."
Edmondia: "Mmmhmm..."
EnsTren: "So, we have you, your hikari, Malik, and Bakura. Malik is out because he's so far away most of the time, and hikari has an aversion to theives."
Edmondia: "We're rather... elite, I think."
EnsTren: "But here's the thing...That leaves the only challengers you and yugi. But," and he smiled sadly, "He can not beat you, ever."
EnsTren: He looked at the book and quickly flipped though it.
EnsTren: "No challenge there, just frustration, just being crushed."
EnsTren: He stopped and suddenly recited what he had found.
EnsTren: Success is counted sweetest
By those who ne'er succeed.
To comprehend a nectar
Requires sorest need.

Not one of all the purple host
Who took the flag to-day
Can tell the definition,
So clear, of victory,

As he, defeated, dying,
On whose forbidden ear
The distant strains of triumph
Break, agonized and clear.
Edmondia: He sighed softly. "There may yet be those we do not know..."
EnsTren: He snapped the book shut, loudly. "You're reaching cousin."
EnsTren: "He's eternally second, third, place in what matters to him, and none to match him in any of his other skills."
Edmondia: "And he cannot be contented."
Edmondia: Atemu ran his hands through his bangs distractedly. "What would you have me do, cousin?"
EnsTren: "There's nothing you can do."
EnsTren: For an instant he seemed to be on the edge of anger and then he slumped, "My hikari is alone."
Edmondia: "He is surrounded by those who would break him of it."
EnsTren: "He'd still be alone Atemu, I just showed you that."
Edmondia: "Shall we scour the world for its geniuses to entertain him?"
EnsTren: "Cousin, if there were geniuses to match my hikari we would have heard of them."
Edmondia: "They are quiet, cousin."
EnsTren: "You can't hide something as brillant as my hikari, in either sence of the word."
Edmondia: "I know, cousin."
Edmondia: He gave him a sympathetic look. "What will you do with him?"
EnsTren: "Be there, it is all I can do...even if it's not enough."
Edmondia: "You are good for him."
EnsTren: "Not good enough."
Edmondia: "...and who do you think would be better?"
EnsTren: "Heh, in all honesty? You and your hikari. He says, sometimes, that he shouldn't have bonded with me, that he should have left me alone long enough to be with you two. But I think he'd be better off with you."
Edmondia: "...what?"
EnsTren: "You heard me, cousin."
Edmondia: He looked more than a bit bewildered. "Why?"
EnsTren: "My hikari...needs darkness, as all hikari's do...but my hikari also needs light."
Edmondia: Atemu's eyes were puzzled. "That I understand... but... you each think... the other one... should be with us?"
EnsTren: "Yes."
Edmondia: "...forgive me my incredulity cousin, but... that's... rather odd."
EnsTren: "It's the truth."
Edmondia: "...but why? Surely you can't both think we're... we'd be good for you?"
EnsTren: "We do."
Edmondia: "...why?!"
EnsTren: "Because he does not believe he is a good enough hikari, and I know he needs light and darkness to heal, and I can only provide one."
Edmondia: "...there are others."
EnsTren signed off at 9:43:22 PM.
EnsTren signed on at 10:16:26 PM.
EnsTren: (rar)

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Auto response from Edmondia: I am away from my computer right now.

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EnsTren: wb
EnsTren: ()
Edmondia: (yo)
Edmondia: (compy problems?)
EnsTren: (very)
EnsTren: (lost everything)
Edmondia: (then I can save ye!)
EnsTren: (fweee)
Edmondia: (just emailed)
EnsTren: (yay)
EnsTren: "Are you sujesting my hikari would be better off with a theif or a mad man?"
Edmondia: "No, cousin, but... he doesn't like us."
EnsTren: "He does, but he hates himself, so it bleeds over to almost everyone else who isn't safely protected in his heart."
Edmondia: "...Mokuba?"
EnsTren: "Is a child, a bright and wonderful child, but he's not a light, and seto is too afraid of tainting him"
Edmondia: He frowned. "You are best for one another, you know."
EnsTren: "I know it, but he needs more."
Edmondia: "...aibou?"
EnsTren: "Maybe. I think...he instincitivly preserved mokuba as much as he could, knowing he'd need his light to find his way home...but he's forgotton how not to protect him"
Edmondia: "What do you mean?"
EnsTren: "Like a lighthouse, to find his way home."
EnsTren: "But he's afraid of harming, or worse, tainting Mokuba to dare bask in the mortal light he has"
Edmondia: "...is he so afraid of himself?"
EnsTren: "You've seen him at his worse, cousin, do you think he has reason to?"
Edmondia: "I've seen him at his best as well. What do you think?"
EnsTren: "I don't know"
Edmondia: Atemu slowly shook his head. "He's yours, cousin. Patched between us, he would only crumble."
EnsTren: "He's crumbling now."
Edmondia: "Because of us."
EnsTren: "He was crumbling more."
Edmondia: "Was? When?"
EnsTren: "He has great will, cousin, he can hide it--even from me if he puts his mind to it."
Edmondia: "One step forward, two steps back."
Edmondia: (um... we kinda have a situation here)
EnsTren: (what?)
EnsTren: (*uber multitasking and IMing*)
EnsTren: (eeek floodage)
Edmondia: (roomie's b/f just carried her in)
EnsTren: (damn, sorry, hope you don't get sex-iled)
Edmondia: (she's puking in our bathroom)
EnsTren: (gah)
EnsTren: (better than sexiled)
Edmondia: (no worries, steve's taking care of her again)
EnsTren: (and at least she can puke, my roomie last year got alcohal poisoning)
Edmondia: (yeah, she's not that bad, fortunately)
Edmondia: (and she's got two friends with her)
EnsTren: (good)
Edmondia: (so everything's okay)
EnsTren: (yay)
Edmondia: (yeah, thank god)
EnsTren: "I'm afraid I'm breaking him cousin, he's built up all these walls but a ceiling falls without walls, you know."
Edmondia: "I'm sorry..."
EnsTren: "it's not your fault, it's mine."
Edmondia: Atemu sighed, reached over, and ran his fingers through his hair. "It's not your fault."
EnsTren: "I'm not going to blame my hikari."
Edmondia: "It's not his fault either."
EnsTren: "I cannot banish nor quite his monster, Atemu. He binds it in place with happy memories which he dare not look at for fear of tarnishing them."
Edmondia: "He needs to..."
EnsTren: "I know, I share my happy memories with him."
Edmondia: He ran his hands through his hair again. "He needs to be strong enough to face himself."
EnsTren: "That monster is not just him."
Edmondia: "I know... but it is what he fears and hates, and that is a part of him."
EnsTren: "It's part you."
Edmondia: He leaned down to look into his eyes. "Does that bother you?"
EnsTren: "...No. I know you're scary, you were scary sometimes when we were children"
Edmondia: "...but he is your hikari."
EnsTren: "I fear you too."
Edmondia: Atemu lowered his lashes, looking away for a moment.
EnsTren: "Not always, but it's natural--we're sane enough to."
Edmondia: He bit his lip.
EnsTren: "Don't feel bad cousin."
Edmondia: "I'm part of his nightmare, aren't I?"
EnsTren: "Sometimes."
Edmondia: "Only sometimes?"
EnsTren: "Yes, he's...greatful that he could be healed by what you did, and smug that he and he alone overcame a batsu geemu"
Edmondia: "...heh."
EnsTren: "It is true, is it not?"
EnsTren: His eyes went distant, "I wonder if I have will enough to do so..."
Edmondia: He reached out and nudged his chin. "I'm not going to attack you."
EnsTren: "I know, I am curious though. Hikari...hikari is...his will was forced and honed more than mine was"
Edmondia: "...you had your own problems, cousin."
EnsTren: "I know, cousin. Problems and strife and so did he."
EnsTren: "Played a game for more than a year, day and night, with his life, his soul his sanity and his brother's on the line."
Edmondia: He cradled his face, gently. "I know."
EnsTren: "And he won--but he still lost. That's why...why he doesn't play games anymore, besides pretending."
Edmondia: "I figured... but it's okay, cousin, it's all right..."
EnsTren: He bowed his head slightly, pressing his face into his cousin's hands and reaching up blindly to tug him down to the floor with him.
Edmondia: Atemu knelt with him, eyes gentle.
EnsTren: "I wish I could be enough for him, but I was too late and now he needs light too."
Edmondia: "He'll be able to heal, cousin. I promise."
EnsTren: "I believe you, but I'm not enough for him."
Edmondia: "Yes, you are."
EnsTren: "He needs light too."
Edmondia: "And he has his friends for his light."
EnsTren: "They are not close enough"
Edmondia: "We could always tie down Ryou..."
EnsTren: "He barely notices that ryou exists."
Edmondia: "But he is light. If he sits on him for a while, maybe it'll rub off."
EnsTren: "You want an excuse to beat up the tomb robber, and my hikari does not need his light to be replenished...just to banish the shadows that haunt him."
Edmondia: "...I don't want to let him touch him again."
EnsTren: "Why?"
Edmondia: "...I don't like other people touching Yugi."
EnsTren: Seth closed his eyes and ignored him, reaching tentivly for his light.
Edmondia: Atemu sighed and looked away.
EnsTren: He was still peacefully engaging in his hobby, darting in and out of seth's soul room to make sure he knew the next hiroglyph.
Edmondia: "...how is he?"
EnsTren: Seth ignored him and peeked into his own soul room to see his hikari flicker in and out.
Edmondia: Pretty light?
EnsTren: Yes high preist? I am approching the finish of another page.
Edmondia: ...I just wanted to... hear from you.
EnsTren: He got the impression of a smile, and a sensation of peacefulness. Then you need only call, my beloved high preist.
Edmondia: ...love you, pretty light.
EnsTren: I love you as well, my high preist.
Edmondia: He gave him a mental smile, wincing at its falsity.
EnsTren: There was a mental caress, very light and fleeting, but savored all the more because it was real.
Edmondia: The smile melted into something much more sincere. I do adore you, pretty ankh.
EnsTren: And then he sliped away from the bond, letting it stay at that before his hikari could respond with something horrible in character.
Edmondia: "...cousin?"
EnsTren: "Still playing."
Edmondia: "Is he happy?"
EnsTren: "Content, I suppose."
Edmondia: "And you?"
EnsTren: "For a second there was no artiface in his mental caresss"
Edmondia: "That is a good sign."
EnsTren: "What do you know?"
Edmondia: "I know that genuine mental caresses are a good thing."
EnsTren: "They are, but just because he pretends does not mean he does not love me."
Edmondia: "...explain that statement?"
EnsTren: "I'm included in his game, he still loves me, he is just pretending, and not loving me is not part of the fantasy."
Edmondia: "...do you trust him?"
EnsTren: "Yes."
Edmondia: "...and what are you going to do with him, cousin?"
EnsTren: "Wait for him"
Edmondia: "Are you okay?"
EnsTren: "No, not until he is healed"
Edmondia: "Will you be okay?"
EnsTren: "When he is healed."
Edmondia: "And how are you going to heal him?"
EnsTren: "I don't think I can...I think I have to help him heal himself"
Edmondia: "...you may be learning."
EnsTren: "But I'm still convinced he needs...light."
Edmondia: "I'll... let him touch Yugi."
EnsTren: "He's convinced Yugi hates him but is so bright and perfect and wonderful and everything he's not that he's having pity and trying to make him feel better."
Edmondia: "Yugi doesn't hate anyone."
EnsTren: "Disgusted with him then"
Edmondia: "Yugi doesn't get disgusted with very many people, either."
EnsTren: "He believes he is loathable."
Edmondia: "...by Yugi?"
EnsTren: "Yes."
Edmondia: He sighed. "And how do we convince him of otherwise, dear cousin?"
EnsTren: "I don't know, I just don't know. He hides from me, under masks of pretending and and love and care and numbers and lines and science and it hides adn hides deep down so I can barely see him"
Edmondia: "Does he get better and worse?"
EnsTren: "Both. Yugi...Yugi managed to cut or break or crack..more than I ever have, and with how he precives his disgust...it's why this reaction is so bad."
Edmondia: "He can't keep going on like this."
EnsTren: "I know, it will break him, like heating and cooling a glass too fast."
Edmondia: "But if we forcibly snap him out of it, he will hate us."
EnsTren: "It's not a matter of snapping him out of it, he knows very well what he's doing, he's doing purposefully."
Edmondia: "Making him realize that his behavior is destructive, then."
EnsTren: "I don't know if he'll be able to bare my touch if he can't pretend."
Edmondia: "...does it always matter?"
EnsTren: "I don't know, he hides it from me. Sometimes, sometimes I think even my kisses hurt, even if I'm quick."
Edmondia: "...maybe we should just hook them up and stay out of it," he muttered.
EnsTren: Seth gave Atemu a searching glare of a look.
Edmondia: "...sorry."
EnsTren: Seth adverted his eyes.
Edmondia: He poked his side. "I said I was sorry."
EnsTren: Seth batted at his hand irritably.
EnsTren: He was starting to understand a little of how his hikari felt, looking at the others. After all, what did his cousin know of having...he wouldn't use the word tainted, for his hikari was good and pure and right no matter what he thought or said or believed. But what would Atemu, with his perfect brighter than them all hikari, know about how it was to have one like Seto, how hard it was to protect him from themselves.
Edmondia: "I'd know if you would tell me."
EnsTren: "Then imagine, dear cousin, your precious yugi."
EnsTren: "Imagine not being sure if your kisses felt like branding irons or silk. Imagine him admiting when you make love to him it feels as if your are using a sharp knife on him rather than the tenderness you try to give him. Imagine that when you lightly graze his sides with your finger tips he giggles--and says it feels "quite a bit like just before Atemu batsu geemued me." And when you stop he pulls your hands back and says, "No, it's allright, it's not as bad as it is sometimes.""
Edmondia: Atemu sat quietly at his side and lifted his hand, pressing a soft kiss to his palm.
EnsTren: "He smiled at me then, you know. And it was a real smile--it horofied me."
Edmondia: He lifted the other and repeated the motion.
EnsTren: "You know we'd kill ourselves for our hikaris...but he's willing...what's worse, 'temu? You're...you know punishments....what's worse, destruction of the soul, or mutilation of the mind?"
EnsTren: "And, he's willing to do both for me, to please me, to make me happy."
Edmondia: "He loves you."
EnsTren: "And hates himself."
Edmondia: He sighed. "Your work is doubled, then."
EnsTren: "I think he looks for excuses."
Edmondia: "Excuses?"
EnsTren: "To kill himself."
Edmondia: "Don't let him."
EnsTren: "I don't."
Edmondia: "And the excuses?"
EnsTren: "More like openings...like when he tried to destroy himself."
Edmondia: "Ah."
EnsTren: "He has...said he wanted to once, kill himself. Seppuku."
Edmondia: "Why would he? He'd be leaving Mokuba."
EnsTren: "That's why he only sujested it once, only tries it when he is beyond emotionally distraught."
Edmondia: "...poor thing."
EnsTren: "There's...so much guilt in him and I have no idea where it comes from, some of it."
Edmondia: "Some?"
EnsTren: "Death-T, things that i know about."
Edmondia: "Ah. And the rest...? Childhood memories?"
EnsTren: "I don't know."
Edmondia: "Mmm... they are a mystery, aren't they?"
EnsTren: Y-yami? I think...I know a little...
Edmondia: Pretty light?
EnsTren: (was yugi)
Edmondia: (okay, it still works)
EnsTren: It's...Mokuba. At least a little.
Edmondia: What do you mean?
EnsTren: Seto could have been adopted at anytime by a nice family if he gave up Mokuba, and he knows it. And Mokuba knows he knows it--which is why he worships him so much. But the thing is, I think Seto might have thought about it.
Edmondia: ...and you think that's part of the reason that he's...?
EnsTren: Feeling guilty? Yes. But I think he's blowing it up, Seto would never do that to Mokuba, but anyone would have been tempted.
Edmondia: ...he doesn't know about 'anyone', aibou.
EnsTren: I suppose you're right. I think there might be more, but that's all I got from him.
Edmondia: ...I suppose that contact goes two ways, doesn't it?
EnsTren: (?!)
Edmondia: (sensing things)
EnsTren: I was...unhappy a little with all the kissing, it was almost like he was feeding off of me.
Edmondia: ...and of course, the fact that he was kissing you had nothing to do with it.
Edmondia: (random: Seth's mom is hot)
EnsTren: He need it though. When I felt him it was like...like he was wraped in cobwebs--And there was so much pain in him, coming off in waves.
EnsTren: (oooh?)
Edmondia: (http://www.livejournal.com/community/playthedamncard/12057. html#cutid1)
Edmondia: ...I see. Is that all you felt? Were you okay afterwards?
EnsTren: I was sad, hurt too that I made him cry like that
EnsTren: (chibi seth is...scary)
Edmondia: (innit he a creepy lil' sproglet?)
Edmondia: (my mental version of him is much cuter)
Edmondia: Why didn't you tell me?
EnsTren: (lets keep your mental image of him)
Edmondia: (yes, let's)
EnsTren: Because I didn't want to hurt him more.
Edmondia: Hikari...
EnsTren: He's hurting so much already, yami! I couldn't...couldn't risk any more.
Edmondia: You could have told me!
EnsTren: Atemu, you have no idea how much he's hurting! Not even Seth does, neither does Mokuba!
Edmondia: Then TELL us!
EnsTren: I don't think you can understand, because you're shadows.
Edmondia: ...but what does it mean?
EnsTren: The darkness--The shadows around him are diffrent shadows than what you're made of.
Edmondia: He blinked.
EnsTren: (*giggle fit over senkobunny's icon* You GO girl!)
Edmondia: (http://www.livejournal.com/community/playthedamncard/8418.h tml)
EnsTren: You're balanced...not just balanced, but correct, I guess? No, just, fair.
Edmondia: He tilted his head. The balance would shift if we were not.
EnsTren: It feels...smooth, and like silk and it's very good.
EnsTren: But what's...what was inflicted on him, it's liked barbed wire.
Edmondia: And that's bad?
EnsTren: You...you protect, that...that cuts and carves and harms.
EnsTren: It's only a little fair, only a little, which is why it clings, or maybe why Seto's still alive and bright, or something. But it's a little fair.
Edmondia: He was trying to be attentive to his omote and pass what he was saying along to his cousin at the same time, and he wasn't certain of how successful he was being.
EnsTren: It's like... And he presented the image of it, as well as he could manage it, how it felt against his light, but was unable to precive the emotions within it because it was so diffrent from his own light.
EnsTren: Sadisim, calculated cruely, purpose, malice.
Edmondia: He tried to give it words that his cousin could understand, and he thought he succeeded.
EnsTren: Seth played with his coat. "Maybe that's why he..." a choak, "He liked it when I hurt him."
Edmondia: Atemu immediately shook his head, catching his hands and dragging his attention to him. "No, cousin, that's not it, that's not it at all!"
Edmondia: ...is it?
EnsTren: ...Maybe a little, it made his darkness diffrent for a while...like a spy? The spy dresses in the enemy's cloathing to get past them to the hostage...
Edmondia: I... suppose...?
Edmondia: And he clumsily tried to explain that, too, to his distressed cousin.
EnsTren: Seth became more distressed.
EnsTren: I think...maybe one of the reasons that it hurts is that Seto-kun doesn't know how to deal with Seth-kun's shadows?
Edmondia: And he passed that along too, holding his hands to his chest and making sure he wouldn't pull away.
EnsTren: And presses the bad shadows closer to his light while trying to get to him?
EnsTren: I don't know, I couldn't tell much because the pain Seto-kun was so great and coloring everything.
Edmondia: He passed that along too, not letting him go when he wanted to pull away and smash his hands with something.
EnsTren: After a bit he stopped trying to pull away and just wraped his arms around Atemu's waist and hugged close.
Edmondia: We seem to be their cuddle-toys as of late, aibou.
EnsTren: Yugi peeked out at them, and smirked.
EnsTren: You look hot.
EnsTren: (could not resist)
Edmondia: He promptly blew him a raspberry. Of course I look hot.
EnsTren: I ment plurally, as in you two, together--so long as he doesn't do much more than hug you other wise I'd have to melt him.
Edmondia: Double standard, sweet light.
EnsTren: I didn't say kissing was not much more than hugging.
Edmondia: ...I'll kindly ignore the fact that you just suggested I kiss my cousin.
EnsTren: Kissing cousins, and he giggled.
Edmondia: ?
EnsTren: Colloquialism.
Edmondia: Ah.
EnsTren: But it would look hot, I wonder how dark you could get, what it would be like to be enveloped in the higheted darkness...
Edmondia: He growled at him. I am the darkness.
EnsTren: Yugi growled back and the pharaoh had the sudden and distinct impression that his hikari wanted to pounce him.
Edmondia: This was all well and good. In fact, such behavior should really be encouraged.
Edmondia: The only downside of this was the fact that his cousin was using him as an oversized teddy bear.
EnsTren: And his hikari was getting off on it.
Edmondia: Which was less than appealing.
EnsTren: His hikari was laughing and happy and giggling and he wondered if he was jaded.
Edmondia: Selfish, certainly, and arrogant and cruel. But jaded?
EnsTren: What would Seth do if his hikari did half of how Yugi was right now, though?
Edmondia: ...well, probably pounce him.
EnsTren: But most likely not for sex, more to hug and cuddle and protect while being in total awe of it.
Edmondia: ...Beautiful light.
EnsTren: Yugi stopped giggling and blushed, utterly pleased and flattered by the compliment.
Edmondia: How lucky was he, after all?
EnsTren: He didn't have a clue.
Edmondia: So he drifted back into his soul room and squeezed his Yugi tightightight and buried his face in his hair.
EnsTren: And Yugi smiled and hugged back and squeased and didn't flinch and all around and within them there was love.
Edmondia: And Yugi could make anyone better.
EnsTren: What would he do if his Yugi flinched?
Edmondia: ...cry.
EnsTren: ...He was so lucky.
Edmondia: His Yugi was so perfect.
EnsTren: He got to him on time.
Edmondia: Beautiful, brilliant, wonderful Yugi.
EnsTren: And his cousin...
Edmondia: Poor cousin.
EnsTren: He...wanted to cry for him.
Edmondia: Poor cousin...
Edmondia: So he did.
EnsTren: And Yugi too.