Pain
"Hey, Janice, wait up! We haven't finished!" Meixian called as she chased the girl down the corridor."Aw, c'mon. Mei," Janice replied, still prancing away. "I told you I don't want to hear anymore."
Janice came to a halt and half-turned around to face her pursuer. Meixian also came to a halt and was trying to catch her breath. She did not expect Janice to just sprint off in the midst of sharing the Gospel with her. Meixian though tit appropriate to share God's valentine story to a friend whom she thought needed Christ to fill an empty space. Little did she expect Janice to have other things on her mind.
"It's not as if I haven't heard of Jesus, Mei," Janice protested. "We have chapel every Monday, devotion everyday and services every now and then! How far can I run?'
Janice, facing Meixian, began to approach her with small defiant steps.
"Look, Mei," She continued. "I know what you are trying to do telling me about Jesus, His death, ressurec (what's that word?) and how He came to die all for me. I really believe in those stories and His existence, but you know what?" A cold light sparked in Janice's eyes as she bent close to Meixian. "I don't care, and I don't want Him and," she paused, "I don't need Him."
Janice's ice-cold words came out almost as a whisper that pierced Meixian's heart, and not only hers...
"Besides," Janice stood up and went on, not noticing that Meixian was not really listening anymore. "I have all that I want and need! I've got a life, family, friends, cash, looks, a boyfriend... What do I need Jesus for?" The words were like the strokes of the whip, tearing at the heart.
"Anyway, I'm getting late," Janice continued. "Got some things to attend to, so see ya!" Meixian was left in the middle of the corridor. She could do little else than watch her friend run off. Sadly, she bowed her head and whispered a little prayer for that poor, lost soul. She sighed and was just about to leave when she thought she heard a voice say, "Wait. Watch."
Adam was just walking down the same corridor where it all happened so it did not take Janice much effort to locate him. He good looking - fair-skinned, charming and of medium built, and he was also sensitive and intelligent. What more could Janice ask for in a boyfriend?
"Hi, Adam! Happy Valentine's Day!" Janice squealed as she grabbed his arm. Then becoming a little self-conscious, she let go and started rummaging through her schoolbag, burying her face in it to hide her embarrassment.
Adam was taken aback. He did not expect to meet Janice in this manner. A sense of apprehension welled up in him as he plucked up the courage to place his hands over hers.
Janice stopped digging into her bag for Adam's present. Something was amiss. She lifted her head to meet his eyes and could hardly recognise the serious look on his usually cheerful face.
"Jan," Adam drew a deep breath.
"Yes?" came the reply.
"I've been thinking, Jan," he carried on, then drew another breath. Hardening his heart, Adam blurted out in one breath, "I feel I'm not ready for this kind of relationship. I don't feel a need for you or a desire for a girlfriend!"
Janice's hand dropped from Adam's as the weight of the words rammed into her. A wave of confusion swept over her and for that moment, her world stood suspended in time. Was he serious about it? She asked herself. This has to be a joke.
Much to Adam's surprise, Janice's face broke into a wide grin instead of the pained look he anticipated.
"You're kidding me, aren't you?" Janice said, wagging her finger at him. "You just want to test my love, don't you?"
Adam's face was still grim.
"Don't you?" she pleaded.
"I'm sorry, Jan. It's the truth." Adam answered, turning away, not even bothering a "goodbye".
Adam briskly made his departure and disappeared from sight, leaving the poor girl alone, all alone, with tears welling up in her eyes.
Eventually, the full impact of the confrontation hit Janice like a tight slap in her face and her whole world came crashing down. She fell to her knees sobbing and weeping uncontrollably for the love which she cherished so much in her heart. Her heart was crushed. She felt as though someone had pierced her side. Oh the pain!
Janice felt a warm hand rest gently on her shoulder. Trembling as she was, she turned her tear-soaked face to the owner of that hand. A pair of sad, warm eyes greeted her.
"Mei!" Janice collapsed onto Meixian's shoulder, crying her heart out. Meixian patted her shoulders gently. She wanted to say something to comfort her friend but could not find the words. Again, she almost heard a voice say, "Wait."
"I gave everything I had to him! All my time, my money, my love. I even gave up my convenience to help him when he needed me! Now all I get in return? Nothing!" The poor girl wailed as she poured all her hurt on Meixian. "I thought I had it all. I never expected anything in return, yet this is what I got in the end. He doesn't want me, Mei! Oh, what have I done wrong? What have I done to deserve this? How can anybody understand?"
Then the words came to Meixian, "Oh, but He can..."
The sobbing stopped. The trembling ceased , and all became silent in that moment a realisation dawned upon Janice. In shock and awe, she looked silently into the gentle, steady eyes of the other girl and the full weight of the truth bore down on her. Then she wept all the more, not out of self-pity, nor of sorrow and loss, but out remorse and repentance, for she realised the true pain of our Lord.
I got the inspiration for this story when I was doing my quiet time sometime during Holy Week. I guess we are all like Janice in our own way. Sometimes we don't know better and we go in pursuit of things rather than God - idols in short. When we listen to the Easter story, how often do we shed tears at the recollection of Jesus' suffering at the mercy of the Jews and Romans. The screams, the gloom, the pain, the thorns and lashes, the nails hammered through living flesh, the dust, the silence all materialise before our eyes, but is that the true pain of Jesus? No. His pain is the stubborn rejection of our hearts - yours and mine. As we listen to the stories once more, are they just stories to us? May God convict us and have mercy upon our fallen hearts. After all, isn't that why Christ came? Let's not let his sacrifice be in vain.