Lacking in Love
by DragonLass (© DragonLass, 2002)


Chapter Sixteen :: Awakening and Learning

Ella sat beside the fireplace in the palace. It had been a very long time since she'd last picked up a needle. Now, she looked at the work she was doing. It was...adequate. The sound of rich laughter behind her, and a kiss on her cheek, made her turn with a smile.

" Stop laughing, Char," She smacked him playfully," You know you couldn't do it any better."
" It's not the work, love." He said softly, the he grinned," It's your face while you're doing it."

She made a small cry of protest as he mimicked her determination.

" Stop it Char!"

She made a feeble attempt through her laughter to throw the frame at him, when suddenly she gave a startled cry of fear and dropped it.

" What's wrong?" Char's eyes darted up.

Ella stared at her hand with a look of utter shock, and he rushed to her side. The entire frame was soaked with blood, running down the side onto the carpet.

" My god..." He looked at Ella's hand in alarm. But she was fine.
" It's a sign, Char. Something's happened." Her eyes turned to the frame," Something's happened to our son."
" What?"
" L-look!"

Char hesitantly followed the trail of blood up to the center of the frame. His face went completely white.

" I'm sending for the Captain."

As they rushed off to the barracks, the blood from the frame slowly stopped, and began to suck itself back into the fabric. It came from the heart of a partially finished child.

******

There were no sounds of battle...of clashing swords, or dramatic background music. Only a soft grunt as Edvi slit each guard's throat with his sword. Jordyn winced behind him.

" You could at least give them the decency of a fair fight." She murmured. What was she saying? Since when did she care if ogres fought fair?

Edvi turned, and she could see that, despite how young he was, they reflected a very tired old wisdom. He had such beautiful eyes...

" You've listened to far too many travelling minstrels."

As he picked his way around the ogres, Jordyn looked around.

" It's odd they didn't pick a fight." Jordyn murmured. " Do you think we actually surprised them?"
" No. We're expected." Edvi frowned.
" You mean they just put them out here for us to kill!" Jordyn looked horrified.
" Most likely. Sort of a cocky way of saying ' Since you'll die before you know it here, I'll give you something to amuse yourselves'."

They continued to walk, and Jordyn stole a shy glance in Edvi's direction. She'd never really noticed much about him. Just a detail here and there. But, now that she had a chance, she saw someone far different from the person she'd known. For one thing, he was actually much taller than she'd first suspected. Not a great deal more, but enough so that her head came just to where his chest was. When had his eyes grown such an emerald shade of green? When did his hair, with those infamous bangs, suddenly become an annoyance that she wished to brush aside? And when did he suddenly become muscularly slim instead of just lanky?
Jordyn chided herself. He was exactly the same as when she first saw him...only...better..

He seem to feel her eyes on him, and turned. She blushed, and started towards the entrance.
Was she falling in love?
The hope that built in her mind, came crashing down so abruptly that she nearly protested aloud.
' He wouldn't love you. He wants an Elf, remember?'
True.
' After all, how can you love one who's tormented you so much in the past.'
Sparks of his voice came back to her, filling her with a deep sense of solitude.

Her mind suddenly twisted in it's place. Something was wrong.

' He can't love you. You are different.'

This wasn't right. She could hear a voice in her mind.

' He won't love you. HE CAN'T LOVE YOU!'

No stop. Why could she hear a voice? She tried to open her mouth to scream, but realized with a dull horror that she could no longer feel any part of herself.

' He will not love you,' The voice murmured,' Not as long as I AM HERE!'

*******

Edvi took a deep breath as he followed her. His heart gave a little heave of regret as the darkness of the unlit castle enveloped them. He shook his head. What did he care? It wasn't as if he hadn't seen her before. Golden blond hair, pale ivory skin...but part of him ached at not being to look into her eyes forever...

He stopped as he ran into her. Why'd she stop?

" Jordyn, what are you doing?" He hissed.

Suddenly, she turned around, and to his complete and utter shock, slapped him!

" Half-breed. Be gone!" She growled, then turned to walk on slowly.

Edvi felt those words more than her physical blow. She'd never cared before...and why so abruptly? He raced towards her, but part of his mind retreated, cowering in the back of his head like a puppy first beaten.

" JORDYN!"

The angry, hurt half of him felt he needed retribution, some retort that would make her feel the pain he did. But, then there was the Elven half. It was calm, and demanded an explanation for this sudden change in attitude. And yet another part felt that he should just leave. If she wished to die, LET HER. But, his human side would see none of it.

" JORDYN STOP!"

******

Where was she? Jordyn looked around her. She could see out of her own eyes, and hear her own voice, but she couldn't say or do anything. WHY?

" Who are you?" She murmured.
" Stupid girl. You know me well. I've been with you since forever." The voice cackled.
" Calamarais..."

Jordyn shook, or at least her mind shook. Her body continued to walk on, oblivious to Edvi. Edvi...Jordyn curled up as she remembered the words that had come from her mouth. Her fingers caressed her own lips. How could she have said those things?

' He deserved it.'

NO!

She whirled around more. Where was it?

******

Edvi continued to follow after Jordyn, who's eyes had gone from full of light, to dull as a smudge on glass.

" Jordyn, I know you didn't mean what you said."
" I meant every word of it." She said coldly," Leave me alone."
" I can't." Edvi looked up helplessly," I love you, Jordyn."

******

Jordyn felt she could weep for joy.

' I love you too.' She tried to say.

But, something kept her from her own body. Suddenly, instead of reciprocating, Jordyn found herself running away. Wait!

******

Edvi followed breathlessly, his own heart torn out of his chest.

" Don't you love me, Jordyn?" He asked finally.

" No."

But she wouldn't look him in the eye.

" Don't you? Tell me..." He said.

She seemed to be having an inner struggle, gritting her teeth and closing her eyes. Suddenly, she whirled on him, and tried to hit him again. This time, he caught her by the wrist. She screamed.

" SHE WON'T LOVE YOU! NOT AS LONG AS I LIVE!"

Edvi's face went white.

Jordyn's eyes narrowed. " My mother will never love you. And neither will I!"

But, Edvi knew. The Calamarais had tried to cover it's mistake, but he knew.

" Let her go."
" Leave me alone! I have a mission!"


Edvi grabbed Jordyn by the neck, pushing his sword close.

" I will not leave you, until you LET HER GO!"

Jordyn was silent. But, as Edvi pushed the sword a little harder, she suddenly grinned wickedly.

" You can not kill me, you pitiful half-breed. I am not a part of this body. Only she will die."

******

" Why do you do this?" Elar shouted for the hundredth time, as the woman concocted another brew. " Is all this really for some reason so petty as not being invited to a party? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!"

The woman stopped in her creations. Slowly, she turned around, and a wavery gauze fell away from her. Elar backed away in horror. She was so old!

" Yes...I do disgust you, don't I?" The lady cackled. There were women who were fat, but who could still look beautiful. She was not one of them. Evil had warped her pudgy face terribly.

" Who are you?!" Elar said finally.

" Who am I? Well...let's see...Once upon a time, I was a wealthy woman. I fell in love with a man. He had a daughter, born with a curse. I married him, and his daughter became my own." She looked up darkly," And once upon a time, I had two daughters of my own."

Elar felt a sudden dread. He'd heard the story of his mother's life enough...

" Dame Olga?" His voice broke into a whisper.

" THAT'S RIGHT," Dame Olga growled," Once upon a time, I had everything! But, then, YOUR wretched mother took that away from me!"

" But, why......she was your daughter! You had everything she had..."

" No! I was banished. I and my two daughters! I can almost see that little witch, sneering at my pain. SHE TOOK MY CHANCES AWAY FROM ME! SHE MARRIED THE PRINCE INSTEAD OF MY DAUGHTER!!!!"

Elar suddenly began to understand...

" You did all this...because my father wouldn't marry your daughters?"

" NO! I did this, because he didn't marry them! And because he didn't marry them, BOTH OF THEM LIE DEAD AT THE BOTTOM OF A HILL..."

"...Silver Hill...that sign."

" That's right." Dame Olga smirked in satisfaction," You were going in the right direction. The hill was further ahead. But, I shielded it with magic. So you found the grave of my beautiful daughters instead!!!!!!"

Chapter Seventeen :: To Come To Terms

" My beautiful Hattie...Olive..." Dame Olga tore herself from her work to glare at Elar. " I knew it was all your mother's fault. She took away what was rightfully mine!!!!!!!"

Then her tormented screech turned to a high cackling laughter.

" But I wouldn't let that hurt me. No...I convinced my sisters to help me. The fools. They agreed to helping me kidnap the child."

Elar turned aside.

" You evil woman! I can't believe this!!"

Her laughter turned more sinister.

" Of course you can't! You're a prince! What do you know?"

******

Jordyn....no....Calamarais stormed onward. Suddenly, she stopped, hunching over. Edvi ran behind her, but was thrown back, as she suddenly stood up straight. Something uncurled from her back in a misty spiral, a gigantic spirit.

" A faerie!"

The faerie was connected to Jordyn, and loomed over her head.

A/N: If you can't imagine this, think in terms of Ah! My Goddess...how the angels are.

" CALAMARAIS! Leave Jordyn this instant."

The woman laughed.

" I will do no such thing! She is mine! My host! MY BEAUTIFUL energy blooms from her sorrow."

With that Calamarais continued to walk on. Edvi stopped to heave a sigh of frustration.

" What more must I do," He murmured desperately," Jordyn's found her love. Why won't Calamarais die?"

" You've proclaimed your love, boy, but she hasn't yet." A raspy voice murmured. " It has to be mutually proclaimed in order to count."

Edvi whirled around.

" YOU!"
" RIGHT!" The wolf-man grinned. This couldn't have been the same man!
" What happened? You look.....younger...."
" Of course. Thought'd you be rid of me so easily, huh?" The man laughed uproariously, shaking girth that wasn't there. He frowned down at himself, flexing his muscles," hmm...I must thank you. I haven't seen this body for a long time."

The young wolf-man reached into his bag and brought out a sword.

" Here boy. Something I've been meaning to give you."

Edvi reached out to touch the sword. It rang clear as he swept a few arcs in the air.

" Thank you." He said with a bewildered look.
" You're welcome." The man grinned.

Edvi continued to gape, as the man sped after Jordyn...wait a minute, he should be doing the same thing! With renewed strength, he raced after the two figures.

******

" YOU!"

Calamarais sneered down at the Wolf-Man.

" I THOUGHT I'D KILLED YOU, RAENON!"

Raenon smiled wryly.

" You nearly did. I was lucky this young man was here. He finished the process, but with an ordinary blade. I WAS REBORN!" He said, nodding at Edvi.

" You will stand down," The woman cried," Or I will kill this girl!!!"

She struck out at Raenon, only to find Edvi grasping Jordyn's wrist.

" Leave my love alone."
" HAH!"

Jordyn pulled back and swung her arm out again, only to find it caught once again in Edvi's grip.

" Jordyn, wake up." He said softly," I know you're in there."

Suddenly, Calamarais the spirit formed a sword with her arm.

" I WILL KILL YOU! THEN NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU!"

She reached to plunged the dagger into Edvi's breast, but something inside her ripped at her until she gasped in pain.

Raenon grinned.

" You made a mistake threatening Edvitalon."

Jordyn's body mirrored the Calamarais's pain, hunching over as a battle fought inside.

******

" You'll stay away from Edvi!" Jordyn hissed, her 'hands' clasped around Calamarais's throat. Calamarais screamed, throwing Jordyn aside.

" Get away from me!"
" I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU AS LONG AS I LIVE! IF I HAVE TO I'LL KILL ME TO TAKE YOU ALONG WITH ME!"

******

Calamarais/Jordyn straightened with a look of rage.

" BACK AWAY OR I WILL KILL HER!"

" You can't." Raenon laughed," There isn't another fit host within three miles of you."

" Why you..."

Suddenly, Calamarais laughed. Her eyes glowed with a fearful light.

" It's done!!! I am finally FREE!"

Her spirit slowly pulled itself free of Jordyn, who fell down lifeless. Edvi rushed to her side, shaking her frantically.

" Jordyn??!! JORDYN??!!"

Her life seeped further and further away, and Edvi only cradled her tighter, trying to stifle sobs of rage.

" Jordyn, please...don't leave!"

Slowly, he pulled her head close to his, and whispering into her ear.

" Jordyn, I'm sorry. Please, don't leave me. Don't leave me alone."

" Pitiful fool," Calamarais sneered," Perhaps I should stay and watch the fun."
" She can still kill you." Raenon murmured.
" Oh, please." Calamarais cackled," I've sapped all her strength. What makes you think she has enough to blink, much less speak??!!!"

But, even as Calamarais cackled violently some more, Raenon cast a sad, knowing smile at Jordyn. Slowly, Edvi felt her stir, and heard her whisper something very softly.

" I love you, too, Edvitalon."
" Jordyn."

Even as she fell back into unconsciousness, Edvi watched in delight as Calamarais screamed, her body filled with dark light.

" Goodbye!" Raenon grinned, waving at the quickly dissappating Calamarais.

But, Calamarais only grinned through her pain. " His sorrow will be a fair price for my defeat!!!"

With those words, Jordyn's breath was stopped, and Edvi couldn't restrain his grief as her hand fell limply to her side.

" JORDYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

******

Elar heard the wail of grief from his place hidden just beneath an archway in his tower. Merlis stood beside him.

" Did you hear that?" He turned around to peer down the hall.
" Yes," Was her immediate reply.

They'd managed to escape, only because Dame Olga had left the door unlocked. Something had distracted her as she'd been looking for the key. She wasn't much of a kidnapper.

" Come on, Merlis."

Elar turned to go, but saw Merlis hesitate.

" What's the matter?"
" Elar, I-" She looked frightened," What if we get caught? I don't want to end like Gwenalene did. I still remember-"

Elar put a reassuring hand on Merlis's shoulder.

" I won't let her hurt you, all right?" He smiled," She couldn't even remember to lock the door. How's she going to catch us?"

Merlis smiled, but she felt less than reassured. That woman wasn't very smart, but her cunning would never allow her to leave a door unlocked...they were expected...

******

Edvitalon held Jordyn for a very long time, whispering frantically, anything he could think of to make this all a lie. Finally, Raenon pulled the boy to his feet.

" She's gone for now, Edvi. We must finish our job."
" ..." Edvi fell back to the floor," I won't leave her."
" YOU MUST. My daughter is still running about this castle causing mass havoc! You must leave now and finish her off."
" I WILL NOT DESERT JORDYN!" He growled," I will not betray her that way."
" THE GIRL IS DEAD, EDVITALON!"
" HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I-" Edvi's voice faltered," Nevermind. GO WITHOUT ME."

Raenon fell silent, watching the boy looking miserably disheveled, and totally dead inside.

" ...You truly love her, don't you?" Raenon finally murmured.
" Yes."

Another pause, then.

" And...would you give your life to get her back again?"
" Absolutely." Edvi said without hesitation.
" I see." Raenon gazed at her body for a moment.
" That's why I will not leave!"
" You needn't leave her. She'll come with you."
" What?"

Suddenly, Edvi felt Jordyn take a great gasping breath. Her eyes flew open, and she bolted upright, clutching her head.

" CALAMARAIS!" She blurted, looking about wildly as though she'd woken up from a frightful nightmare.
" Jordyn!"

**

It was like waking from a nightmare only to find yourself in a dream. Bewildered as she was, swept up in Edvi's embrace, Jordyn hoped it would never end.

" Don't ever do that again to me, you hear?" Edvi seemed on the verge of tears.
" Someone's getting soft on me," She said half teasingly.
" I've lost a lot of treasures before, but this time I couldn't bare it."

Suddenly, he pulled her close, and spoke softly.

" Now, tell me the words I've waited to hear..."
" But, I've already said them."
" You said them to Edvitalon," Edvi frowned," How many times have I told you NEVER to call me that?"

Jordyn blinked, then laughed as he pulled her to her feet.

" I love you, Edvi."

He answered her with a kiss. If there's such a thing as pure heaven, Jordyn felt it now. All that loneliness, all that sadness, all of it had led to this...

" I hate to break this moment up," Raenon dryly commented," But, there's still my lunatic daughter."

Jordyn blushed red to her ears, and started to walk purposefully towards the next door. Edvi smiled at her back.

" Thank you, Raenon."
" Eh? For what?"
" You brought her back for me."
" Me?" The Wolf-man laughed," I did nothing of the sort! No, it was you that did it boy."
" How could I..."
" Wake up! You're a half-elf!"
" What's that got to do with it?" Edvi turned stiffly to follow Jordyn, only to stop as Raenon caught his arm.
" If you would only look past your hate," Raenon replied," And seriously see your family's ancestry, you would understand what you should be proud of Edvitalon."

He put a hand up as Edvi protested.

" NO! No, you will not tell me NOT to call you that. It is your given name. Edvitalon, " Two Halves of Power". Live by that name, half-elf. You'll see it has its advantages."

No more words passed between them, and Raenon released his grip so that Edvi could catch up with the love he'd lost and regained.

" That boy still has much to come to terms with..."