Tuscany Menu

 Our Head waiter, Dave, has been serving Salemites at various places around town 
(Doug’s Place, Blondies, Wings) and is in tune with all their favorite meals. 
He will be most happy to make sure your evening is a memorable dining experience.

 SPECIALTIES FROM THE BAR

SOLDIER OF FORTUNE COCKTAIL
A tropical drink with a real kick. Two of these, and you cannot stop insulting your hostess, Maggie.

SAMI SLAMMER – cold and icy, with a bitter twist

THE ROLF WALLBANGER
At a recent gathering of Salem residents, it knocked the walls down.

"TELL ALL-TINI"
This delicious martini (made with one part Gin, two parts truth serum) got Lucas to spill a years worth of lies, deceptions and family secrets to Nicole in just a few sips.

JUSTICE JUICE
(Drink this and you'll swear you've been slipped a Mickey)

NICOLE’S BRAND XX CHAMPAGNE
Available for a limited time, (similar bottle, prettier label, but younger vintage) (See menu for Hudson St. Diner)

DIMERA VODKA BLAST
Comes in a crystal glass complete with sparkler...please be careful if ordering this at same table with Rolf Wallbanger.

John's Special Label Sparkling Water
Enjoy an ice-cold bubbly beverage that brings out the testosterone hidden within. You will be able to start fights, insult the owner, break up furniture, and yet magically save lives if a bomb is deployed, all without being banned or losing any friendships in the process.

Tuscany's Special Philip and Chloe's Italian Salad Dressing
Made of oil and vinegar, so no matter how much you shake it up it always separates.

Mimi’s Plain Garden Salad (this salad tosses itself when topped with Philip and Chloe’s Italian Dressing) Victor’s Caesar Salad Filled with “powerful” tastes, befitting an emperor Nicole's Hot Chicken Salad A little skimpy on the dressing, but plenty of breast meat and a lot of spice.

Greta’s Royal Roast You cannot help having a real blast enjoying this meal. It’s fit for a Princess!! John’s Black-ened Steak (Better the steak than another customer’s eye, right?) This large porterhouse steak comes with chips (unless Rolf takes them first). Ask the waiter to give you a pitcher of our famous John’s Sparkling water, as this dish is realllllly spicy.

Tuscany Special for Two: Spaghetti a la puttanesca avec les brêts du Sami Brady With fresh tomato, basil, capers, black olives. For an extra $20, Miss Sami will come by your table and drag her bosom through your entree’. That’s amore’! Mama Celeste's extra deluxe pizza with many toppings (in honor of Celeste's wig and hat collections)

Brady’s Alaska King Crab Legs
Served with bitter horseradish – named for the king of crabs

Samantha-Style Chicken Breast
A very appealing entree for the Hungry Man in Your Family

Chicken Cordon Jan A skinless, spineless breast of chicken, centered with our intensely devious hot sauce. Comes with a glass of dry whine, ..oops, I mean wine. Followed by a piece of our world famous devil's food cake, made by our famous Chef Jason.

 AND FOR THE LIGHTER APPETITE………

Austin Reed Airhead Mousse
Hold the vanilla, hold the chocolate - Whipped full of air, but no taste, no substance,
 served at Tuscany on Mondays and Thursdays. No, make that Tuesdays and Fridays. 
Or maybe alternate Sunday evenings in August. 
Never served for business lunches, but is prized by boxers and low-rider trouser
 manufacturers for dessert after a hard minute's brain workout.

 Lexie’s Baby Banana Split
(heavy on the bananas and the “nuts”)

In our Lobby…… Don’t have time to finish your meal? (so many of our patrons have to leave early!) Tuscany sells the The Alice Horton Special in our lobby. A dozen of Alice’s finest home made donuts are boxed and ready to go.