You scored 8
Sole survivor. We've followed your adventures from start to finish, from the opening murder (you watched it from the window) through to the massacre at the prom through to your climactic showdown with the killer (your mad high-school principal) atop the old bell tower. Congratulations - you've made it. Your reward is top-billing in Film Unlimited Bloodbath II, plus a lifetime in therapy.

Second, Karla emailed from Kansas, where she's patiently waiting for Mike to return to Ft. Riley from Kuwait. They have an empty new home in Abilene to fill up, so she's asking for pictures from us, and I know most of us will provide ample housewarming gift cards for them to purchase. Karla also says that Mike got all of our packages, and she specifically noted that he liked mine. That made me feel good, since I so wanted to give him all he and his fellow troops might need for a little while, and I was just as happy that despite all his moving around that he received the package at all!

Karla also forwarded a letter from George Geczy, III, Mike's LTC, sent to all the wives. I was proud to read this bit about the outfit Mike served, the 1st Battalion, 41st Infantry Regiment, which road alongside the 3rd Infantry:

"History will tell more in the following months and years, but it is my impression that Pathfinder's fighting in the Battle of Karbala was one of biggest and most deadly of the entire war. Ultimately, I believe their victory, broke the enemy's will to fight."

I can't wait until Mike gets back, and he and Karla have time to do a victory lap where I can finally meet him! He's a movie buff, too, so I need to decide what to take him to see after months of sand and heat. A big-screen version of Lawrence of Arabia is probably out.
Posted 06/28/03, 2:21 a.m.

    Day 42 of the Atkins Diet Low-Carb Nutrition Plan: A shout-out to Dad for his observation via email tonight:

"It was obvious from appearances that you had lost weight; and when you did cheat, you didn't even finish all of your meal. You and I never left food on our plates, but you did Sunday. A good indication that your appetite is dwindling."

I hadn't thought of that, but yes, I did only eat half my Mexican meal, and two months ago would have finished it in ten minutes. I finished the rice and enchilada, but only one of two tacos and half the beans. That's why I'm sticking with this Plan, plus the fact I've gone from 320 to 305 in less than two months and figure it's worth no potatoes or bread for a year if I'll be studly for 50 more. Well, at least more studly.
Posted 06/28/03, 2:21 a.m.

    This week's "Amazing Race" update is beginning to see who the ultimate finalists will be. The producers have finely edited the show so that Virgins Millie and Chuck, couple Kelly and Jon and Clowns Jon and Al are the favorites. Sure, the Fake Model Chicks have plenty of air time, but that's because they're hot and fight alot. Apparently the cameraman keeps hoping they'll take off their clothes and fight in the nearest fountain with a brewski in each hand arguing about which is less filling and which tastes great.

Back to the Virgins. They are officially annoying. I don't blame Kelly and Jon for nicknaming them Werewolf and Millie Mole. The Austin Powers 3 rip about Millie's mole was actually pretty daggum funny. I am also more fond of my local faves, the Atlanta football wives. They're having a good time with one another and competing successfully despite not being overly competitive.

As for the trip this week, I found it very funny that the soon-to-be-eliminated Air Traffic Controllers were enjoying the boat ride through Amsterdam, while the Fake Model Chicks were complaining that it was cold. As with any "men hot, women cold" argument, I have the same problem at work. When I walk in the control room at night, the first area I turn is to the thermostat, because the female-heavy day crew has it at 79 degrees, and I immediately turn it to just 74, at which the night women whine about it being cold. Above room temperature, no less.

What sadist had one of the roadblock tasks be digging through fifteen feet of cow manure? Ohmygoodness, I would be ralphing all over the countryside afterwards. I don't care if it was a longer drive or took a little longer to just carry cheese in wooden shoes and weigh it, that is something I can do without smelling like poo. Am I right?
Posted 06/28/03, 2:21 a.m.

    Great column by Jonah Goldberg on the insanity of those who believe President Bush lied about Iraq's WMD capabilities in order to start a war.

While I'm at it, Right Wing News has an interview with conservative mega-babe Ann Coulter, in which the questioner makes this observation: "Do you think it was hypocritical for people to say that they,"support the troops" even as they claim we're deliberately murdering children, waging an imperialist war, are only trying to steal Iraqi oil, etc? After all, how can anyone claim that's what we're doing and say they support the people who are carrying those acts out?"
Posted 06/28/03, 2:15 a.m.

    Is there a more humiliating feeling when checking your email than when you get fooled by a spammer into thinking it's legit? I feel like I'm a goalie and let the team down. But we will win the game!
Posted 06/27/03, 3:25 p.m.

    Day 41 of the Atkins Diet Low-Carb Nutrition Plan: Whatever cheating I did last weekend may have been the jumpstart I needed, because I finally dropped below the 310 lb. barrier from two weeks ago. Now down to 305 (and I was up and down that scale like a gymnast several times to make sure some weight wasn't hiding). Hmmm, maybe some exercise, and I'll be down even sooner! Yeah, maybe.

Wow, sister Stephanie was right about the Carbo-Lite chocolate peanut butter bar. I didn't taste the peanut butter, but that was fine since it tasted like a Hershey bar. Best yet!
Posted 06/26/03, 10:52 p.m.

    Some people are so oblivious to reality that you wonder if they have to post reminders around the room to breathe. Cynthia Papageorge of Boston, the protagonist of this true tale, is suing the company that fired her when she was pregnant and wore clothing around the office, such as sneakers for her swollen feet, that reflected her situation. The rest of the story: She was a district manager at Mothers Work Inc., a maternity clothes retailer.
Posted 06/26/03, 10:50 p.m.

    Today's Trailer Park, in front of The Hulk:

The Cat in the Hat: The preview is not promising. It's a colorful world, and I like Mike Myers, but I don't see what the movie is going for, or if I even want it's message to be, "Let's tear up the house while mom is away."

The Punisher: This was a teaser for next summer's release of this Marvel comic-turned-movie. I have no idea what to expect, and have never heard of the comic. Sounds violent. Goody!

Spy Kids 3-D: If I had kids 7-11 years old, I would take them to this. The plot probably stinks more than today's garbage, but it looks fun, and any chance for Sly Stallone to over-act and look foolish is money in the bank.
Posted 06/25/03, 10:02 p.m.

    Down to the final three after Monday's For Love Or Money on NBC:

• Paige, the cutesy-wutesy 21-year-old who is either a)lovestruck or b)a great actress
• Kelly, initially the money-grubbing fashionista, but she's been edited more sincere and likable lately.
• Erin, the hottie who won't let bachelor Rob kiss her yet, which is simultaneously driving him crazy for good and bad

The tables are turned now, though. At the very end of the program, Rob was let in on the fact that the woman he picks gets a million bucks. Now the girls will be eyed suspiciously, I'm sure, as he tries to decide their motivations. Should be delicious. Not that I don't understand, since chicks are always throwing themselves at me for my vast wealth. It's a hard life, ya know.
Posted 06/24/03, 11:05 p.m.

    The Left likes to whine that John Ashcroft and George W. Bush are willy-nilly altering the Constitution. However, I haven't heard any of them express concern that Democrat presidential candidate Dick Gephardt, before the affirmative action decision this week, said, "When I'm president, we'll do executive orders to overcome any wrong thing the Supreme Court does tomorrow or any other day." In other words, if the Left deems it's not good, he wants to circumvent the law.

Jonah Goldberg of National Review points out further that we shouldn't be surprised, since, "as for Gephardt himself, well, when he first ran for Congress in 1976 he ran on what he called in advertisements "A Pro-Life Promise" and he swore to work for a Constitutional amendment to ban abortion. If you can switch from seeing fetuses as "unborn" humans to seeing the unborn as nothing more than a constituency you don't need anymore, you can pretty much switch sides on anything."
Posted 06/24/03, 7:15 p.m.

    This week's best Vents from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:
    - Baghdad Bob surfaced and said he is 100 percent sure Hillary's new book is nonfiction.
    - It may be time to clean up when people keep pulling into your driveway for a yard sale and you're not having one.
    - The other day I saw an Atlanta police car with the words "Traffic Enforcement" on the side. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
    - Nothing brings a smile to my face like hearing how much tourism is down in France.
    - Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you $200, while a substantial tax cut saves you 30 cents?
    - "Hate radio" to liberals: Any type of program that disagrees with their philosophy.
    - People keep mentioning Hillary Clinton as our next president. How can she manage our country when she can't even manage her own bedroom?
    - Two headlines this week: "Georgia prison population at all-time high" and "Major crimes drop for the sixth straight year." Makes sense to me.
Posted 06/24/03, 3:25 a.m.

    This week the "Amazing Race" folks got to France, and rode around the track at Le Mans near Paris. No word on if any local cheese-eating surrender monkeys moaned about their unilateral contention or asked for more time to finish their roadblock competitions.

I'm missing some personality this season as we had previously. The locations are great, some of the battles between teams interesting, but there are a few teams I still feel like I don't know at all. For example, I couldn't tell you who friends Jeff and Dave are, confusing them with the Clowns. The air traffic controllers do nothing but say how they are fat and slow and will lose. Fine, just lose already. Then one of them threatens to slice the fake chicks' tires as the groups were lined up for a final race of the hour.

Turns out that Millie's asthma isn't the only thing hurting them, but fellow Virgin boyfriend Chuck had to deal with claustrophobia instead of enjoying the ride. The Father/Son team started first this week, ended last. As Scott noted, it seems to happen frequently this season that those who begin ahead end up near the bottom by the end. Strange. It's like a horse race, where some folks aren't comfortable in the lead and prefer to catch up after watching those ahead fail.
Posted 06/24/03, 12:45 a.m.

    Day 38 of the Atkins Diet Low-Carb Nutrition Plan:

Saturday night, Sunday lunch were my first cheating meals since I began the Plan. At my ten-year high school reunion, I didn't want just a salad, and the chicken had some sort of gravy that probably wasn't low-carb, either. So I plopped on the garlic mashed potatoes as well. Oh my, how gooooood were they?!

Later, when we hung out at a bar overnight, I had a plate of loaded nachos. Then this afternoon I had nachos, beans, rice, an enchilada and taco at Cozymel. I don't feel guilty, and don't for having caffeine via Diet Coke and iced tea, either. Although, I hope I didn't hurt a breakthrough I believe I made. I had one of those occurrences where you lose a couple of inches seemingly overnight, because I had to pull my shorts in a notch on the belt from the day before, and the new pants I purchased for the reunion were loose.

Back to the grind immediately, with no cheating for a few weeks at least. And I'm determined to ignore the Atkins advice, too, and stick to the Plan hardcore, counting all carbs, including fiber and "non-digestible" carbs that are supposedly okay. Might as well do it fast now and get the fat gone sooner.
Posted 06/23/03, 1:25 a.m.

    I know I shouldn't get upset by arbitrary lists made up by people to launch a TV show or just to generate discussion and controversy. But after VH1 named Nirvan's tripe, "Smells Like Teen Spirit," as the No. 1 song of the last 25 years, well, someone has to speak up, ya know? It supposedly launched this new era of rock - grunge - that would change music forever. Well, where is it today? All of those groups faded away into oblivion, while pop, plain ol' rock and hip-hop still reigns.
      Besides, everyone knows that the No. 1 song of the last quarter-century was "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats!
      If you really want to scratch your noggin', scroll down to the bottom of the list, and note that Hanson's "MMMBop" edged out Norah Jones' "Don't Know Why." No, really, I don't know why.
Posted 06/18/03, 2:45 p.m.

    So many times we hear adults tell college kids, "Wait until you get into the real world!" You know what? I enjoyed my non-reality bubble in college, and encourage young adults to enjoy their time within a safe structure with plenty of friends and activities. Heck, if not for that whole class thingamajig, why would you ever want to leave?
Posted 06/18/03, 2:30 p.m.

    Quote of the week, courtesy Jonah Goldberg in the Wall Street Journal editorial section, debunking the absurd fad of the Left to claim that the media actually tilts Right:

"Liberals will believe anything convenient if someone will just say it loud enough and often enough."
Posted 06/18/03, 2:30 p.m.

    Day 33 of the Atkins Diet Low Carb Nutrition Plan:

      Much of the talk within the Atkins Family Unit lately has been about what to snack on, namely low-carb bars. A few of the first ones I tried were monstrosities of epic proportions, but finally found a low-carb bar that's at least tolerable. The Atkins Advantage Chocolate Peanut Butter is edible, with an awkward creamy aftertaste. I still yearn for a crunchy, granola-type, bar, though, and per Stephanie's recommendation, tried a Carbo-Lite bar. She highly recommends the chocolate peanut butter, but I could only find the Cruncy Caramel at Wal-Mart last night, and it's alright. Some crunchy quality, and quite chewy 'cause of the caramel. I'll try other varieties, as it seems to be much better than the Carb Solutions disaster earlier.
      Stacy still swears by low-carb wafer bars, but I've never seen them. I think it's a myth, like the gods on Mount Olympus. Until Apollo speedily drops a few wafers to me from the sky above, I remain skeptical.
      The scariest note came from Mom, who said that if you are sensitive to the sugar free chocolate bars and sweets, it's like taking a laxative. Then again, with few fiber on this plan, maybe that's not such a bad thing. Mom recommends the Carbo Lite bars with almonds, which to her taste plenty close to a Hershey bar with almonds.
Posted 06/18/03, 2:25 p.m.

    I would like to file a grievance against NBC. The last two weeks they've run "For Love or Money" past 10 p.m., and as a result my VCR cut off final segment when the women were dropped. Last week I thought it was a fluke; Monday night they fooled me twice. I guess that makes me the stoopid one. But why in the H-E-doublehockeysticks would NBC decide to do this regularly? Instead of sticking around, I'm more prone to ignore it altogether. But we know I'll still watch.
      As for the show, I still hope the lucky lady ultimately picks the $1 million over doofus bachelor Rob, a.k.a. Mr. No Personality. After Monday's cut, we're down to four: Erin, Kelly, Lauren and Paige. NBC is engaging in "Survivor"-esque playful editing, leading us to believe that Laura was a shoo-in to make it instead of "too young" Paige (she's 21, Rob is 34), but it looks like Rob appreciates the apple pie cuteness of Paige as much as I do. But, he'd squander it with boring conversation on property law. I, of course, would be much more suitable to Paige's tastes. That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.
      What's most unfortunate is that even with money on the line, these ladies are chummy; there are zero, zip, zilch catfights. Come on, chickadees, where's the competitive spirit?!
Posted 06/18/03, 2:15 p.m.

    Forbes.com came out with its annual list of the Best Cities for Singles. I doth protest that Atlanta ended up No. 5 (Austin, Texas is No. 1). Sure, single women outnumber single men in this town three-to-one, and the area of northwest Atlanta where I live it’s even more in favor of single men, but that only works for me at the grocery store! I never see any of these single women, ‘cause I don’t go to bars, don’t go to clubs, don’t … well, I guess I’m not going to find these abundant supplies of unattached ladies at matinee movies, the driving range, listening to the radio at Braves games or at Wal-Mart at 3 a.m. So maybe it’s me. And yes, I heard the guy in the back who just yelled, “Doofus! Get thee back to church!” It could be worse, I could be in Pittsburgh, rated last in the survey.
Posted 06/16/03, 2:54 a.m.

    Many congrats to Jim Furyk for winning the U.S. Open on Sunday. I always pull for an American first, and even better when he’s an accomplished veteran in search of his first major title.
      Still, does it border on un-Americanism that I consider the U.S. Open only the third best of golf’s four majors? I pay more attention to The Masters and British Open, with the PGA Championship a distant fourth. The Masters is played on the most recognizable course in the States, The Open is a test of the many-times-awful conditions on a links course with centuries of tradition. But the U.S. Open and PGA rotate among courses I’ve never heard of many times, few of which instill awe or tell me that I have to watch at certain holes. Don’t get me wrong, I watch the tournament in its entirety; I just treat it like a nice weekend of golf.
Posted 06/16/03, 1:15 a.m.

    I am sure that all of you watch the news to get in touch with what’s happening in the world at that time. Not me. I work in the news, so the last thing I need to do is tune in at home. What do I watch for? Babes, of course. You, too, can watch the news for the cuteness factor, and now you can rate your favorite reporters and anchors. Apparently Fox viewers caught on quickly, and their favorite Foxy babes and dudes are leading the pack.
Posted 06/15/03, 3:08 a.m.

    Don’t you wish you could have had Conan O’Brien giving your commencement address? He did so for his alma mater, Harvard, in May 2000, which you can read here. Favorite line: “Success is a lot like a bright, white tuxedo. You feel terrific when you get it, but then you're desperately afraid of getting it dirty, of spoiling it in any way.”
Posted 06/15/03, 3:05 a.m.

    This week's best Vents from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:
    - Barbara Walters interviewing Hillary Clinton is like Johnnie Cochran interviewing O.J.
    - Now that Hillary's book is out, she plans to read it over the summer.
    - If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes the village idiot to stay married to a lying, cheating, two-timing, scumbag.
    - Would the library carry Hillary's new book in fiction, humor or science fiction?
    - How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it stops being a healthy choice?
    - Porsche Boxster spell checks to Porsche Boaster.
    - The fact that the French Tourist Bureau has hired Woody Allen to promote France in the U.S. shows that our countries have an even bigger gap to bridge than I originally thought.
    - After watching "2001: A Space Odyssey", I wondered if Stanley Kubrick could have comprehended that in the real year 2001, HAL could have been stopped by a simple "control-alt-delete"?
Posted 06/15/03, 1:18 a.m.

    Yet another rainy day in Atlanta, as the drought is turned upside-down into flash flood warnings every three days. Even worse, I had to go pickup a futon this afternoon, and it was hanging out the back of my Cherokee. Still, I felt a little manly, soaking wet tying down the boxes and mattress to my Jeep, then carrying them out to my apartment in the gullywasher. Dripping with raindrops and lugging heavy things alone, just makes me feel like eating red meat. Instead, I dried off, changed and slogged right back out to see Hollywood Homicide (review pending, once my waterlogged fingers dry off in the oven).
Posted 06/14/03, 2:55 a.m.

    I watched the CMT 100 Greatest Songs of Country Music special, with the final 12 sung in front of an audience, hosted by LeAnn Rimes and Brad Paisley. Tammy Wynette's "Stand By Your Man" was No. 1. I guess that's alright. Good as any other, I suppose. The one thing that upset me most was that "Devil Went Down to Georgia" was, like, No. 65! Come on! That's top 25, easy!
      In case you're interested, the No. 2 selection was George Jones' ultra-saddening "He Stopped Loving Her Today," and No. 3 was "Crazy" by Patsy Cline (sung by Nashville's own "American Idol" top three finalist Kimberly Locke).
      If you missed it (and I'm sure you did), it re-airs completely Saturday at 12:30 p.m., Sunday at 6 p.m., and the concert alone airs next Friday at 10 p.m. (all times EST).
Posted 06/14/03, 2:55 a.m.

    It is official: The enviro-wackos want the entire world to resort to primitive living. Anything and everything we do, whether it's beneficial to society or not, has been declared "bad for Mother Earth." This time, they're coming after flush toilets, advocating the use of compost or dry toilets, which involve a nasty process of emptying by the user. You can have my flush toilet when you pry it from my non-crap-smelling hands.
Posted 06/14/03, 2:55 a.m.

    This afternoon's Trailer Park:

Bad Boys II - Looks just like the first - in a good way. Perfect summer escapist entertainment with comedy, car chases, bullets, babes and stuff gets blow'd up!

Gigli - Super-Hollywood Couple Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez (sorry, J.Lo) make a movie together. Considering the trailer tries real hard to convince us of their supposed chemistry, I'm willing to bet that it's not there for two hours.

Open Range - As I noted previously, this is the Kevin Costner vehicle with Robert Duvall. It's a Western, so I'm most certainly going to attend, even though it appears the trailer gives away entirely too much, including the climactic gunfight.

Seabiscuit - Time No. 1,455 I will tell you that this movie will be HUGE. The family film of the year, and it may even be nominated for awards next winter, a la Forrest Gump's charm with the audience.

Runaway Jury - The newest Grisham book-turned-motion picture, starring Gene Hackman as a jury-rigger and investigator, and John Cusack and Rachel Weisz as his targets. Intriguing, and a good cast makes it a must.
Posted 06/14/03, 2:55 a.m.

    Today is Friday the 13th. You have been warned.
Posted 06/13/03, 2:15 p.m.

    Day 27 of the Atkins Diet Low-Carb Nutrition Plan. I didn't think it was possible, but I'm enjoying that I experiment with cooking more, and spending mucho time in the kitchen. No more frozen dinners or whipping up something quick, as I dote over most meals (well, except for lazy hot dogs + bacon like tonight). For example, for dinner Wednesday night, I cooked two fillets of lemon butter fish, adding to the side in the oven some zucchini and asparagus, brushing some butter, olive oil and garlic over the veggies. Fine, fine meal. But it begs the question, why does asparagus make your urine smell funny? Disturbing question, why do I not dislike the smell? Further question: Is that too much information?
Posted 06/12/03, 11:25 p.m.

    Amazing Race 4 update: This season's competition is more in-your-face and full of infighting. Juicy, indeed. The couples seem doomed. None of them have any cohesion whatsoever and fight, fight, fight. Well, except the "Virgins." But Millie was too busy trying to breathe with constant asthma attacks (trust me, I empathize deeply). The air traffic controllers, who started first, finished next-to-last. They made a wrong decision on a train and then were so out of shape that they couldn't catch up. Only luck, through the Russell/Cindy fighting daters being given the wrong tickets were they able to survive. I have a feeling Cindy won't be sticking with hardheaded Russell very long afterwards. The funniest bit had to be when Kelly yelled at fiancé Jon constantly, then she was the one who mixed up Beethoven and Mozart, costing them valuable time. Locally, Atlanta Falcons wives Monica and Sheree are in second place now, following Milton Berle's advice, "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." Still, I'm pulling for the father/son team. Something about the nostalgia of that draw is what I like to root for, as opposed to married gay guys or bickering couples.
Posted 06/12/03, 11:20 p.m.

    Here's just one more example of how tech-savvy our society has become: In a survey of the most trusted brands in the world, No. 1 wasn't Coca-Cola, not CNN or BBC, nada Quantas Airline, but Google.com. I'm sure the Shakespearean Insulter was in the running, though. "Thou fobbing dizzy-eyed wagtail" must recognize the brilliance!
Posted 06/12/03, 8:35 p.m.

    President Bush is making me antsy over some inconsistency. Tax cuts are great - and necessary for growth - but this uncontrolled spending that's going on with the GOP in control is hideously hypocritical. Second, Bush is not allowing Israel to follow Bush's own doctrine in dealing with terrorism through force, not discussion. The Palestinians are incapable of peace, because they first and foremost refuse Israel's right to exist. That's kind of an important point to give up for their demands.

Okay, that's out of my system. But strangely I feel compelled to rip Hillary Clinton. Nothing new, but since I've criticized Bush, I need to make restitution by attacking the greatest evil threat from the Left. Newsmax.com has come up with "The Deck of Hillary", a set of cards featuring the former First Lady in various unbecoming photos and quotes (with sources for accuracy) featuring some of her most outrageous comments. Among the statements:
      “My personal trained pigs.” (Her opinion of her Secret Service guards.)
      “Who’s going to find out? These women are all trash. Nobody’s going to believe them.” (During the 1992 campaign)
      How about another quote (courtesy Right Wing News blog) from Hillary, from last October regarding Iraq:

"In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program. He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including Al Qaeda members, though there is apparently no evidence of his involvement in the terrible events of September 11, 2001. It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons. Should he succeed in that endeavor, he could alter the political and security landscape of the Middle East, which as we know all too well affects American security."

Greg Easterbrook, ESPN.com's Tuesday Morning Quarterback and also a political writer for a few publications, lays the smack down on Hillary and the non-writing writing of her new book. (Read through his dissection of the NBA's failures and cheesecake as well).
Posted 06/12/03, 6:45 p.m.

    Blogger Annika takes issue with Miss Earth being called Miss Universe:

Where were the contestants from Mars, Klaatu, Romulus, Vulcan, or any of the other known inhabited planets? The Borg also have some pretty hot chicks and they should have been represented in the contest. And while any Cardassian, Gorn or Ferengi ladies would probably be longshots to finish in the top five, is it right that they should be totally excluded from even trying?

Update: You might be wondering if I can just find a closer church. Besides, I live in Atlanta, smack dab in the Bible Belt and there are Southern Baptist churches every half-mile, right? Nope. I went to the SBC's site, typed in my zip code and exactly zero churches serve my immediate area. Ridiculous.
Posted 06/12/03, 4:50 a.m.

    My Publix grocery store, as floral 'decoration' on the ends of parking lot aisles, uses sticker bushes. What kind of sadistic landscaper does Publix hire? What's next, are they going to hang Venus flytraps over the produce?
Posted 06/11/03, 10:30 p.m.

    The French Tourist Board hired Woody Allen - of all people - to promote the country in the U.S. In the ad, he says that he "will not have to refer to my French fried potatoes as freedom fries and I will not have to freedom kiss my wife when all I want to do is French kiss her."
      Just what the French need: a neurotic spokesman to encourage marrying your stepdaughters. Then again, maybe that is the kind of image they want to project.
Posted 06/11/03, 4:36 p.m.

    I wonder if in my pursuit of self-deprecating humor within in my "Mind of a Single Man" column, if folks think I'm too hard on myself when it comes to my non-relationship dating life. I promise that I'm not. I'm very happy with my life and content with finding the plan God's setting out for me every day. My theme song is contemporary Christian group LaRue's "Someday," and Steven-style, I'll post a few lyrics:

I don't know if you're near or far away
But I know that I'm thinking of you today
I don't know if I even know your name
But I know that I'm praying for you just the same

Someday we'll fall in love
You'll be mine and I will be yours
Our hearts will be one
And our love will ever endure

Your faith for the Lord will be strong
Even though I know the wait is long
And though I'm young I still believe
That you're out there praying for me