It's been a busy week, so let's roll that beautiful bean footage:

To my female readers, I hope you enjoyed Mother's Day because if many on the Left have their way it could be the last one.

Just when you thought there was no institution that was safe from P.C. madness, it turns out that even celebrating motherhood is offensive. I wouldn't have been surprised if Father's Day was attacked, since many feminists would just as assume that men didn't exist anyway. But when a prestigious private school in Manhattan banned the celebration of Mother's Day so as to protect the feelings of children of gay couples and single parents, it was sadder more than maddening.

As Stanley Kurtz of the Hudson Institute notes, "for fear of 'leaving out' the few, we're leaving out the many."

Speaking of motherhood, another example presented itself this week from Democrats and feminists, that they'll attack anyone who disagrees with them, woman or not. Under a doctor's orders to rest while awaiting the birth of twins, Massachusetts acting Gov. Jane M. Swift - a Republican - is getting grief from Democrats who question whether she can legally run the state from her hospital bed.

By a 5-3 margin, the all-Democrat Governor's Council voted to ask the state's highest court if she was constitutionally allowed to hold meetings while not in the Council room. While feminists haven't run to her defense (surprise), Republican National Committee Co-Chairwoman Ann Wagner criticized the council for challenging Swift.

"This is totally out of line and an insult to working moms all across the country," she said. "I wonder if they would be complaining if the governor was a man recovering from prostate cancer surgery."

Did You Know?: Ever watch a movie set in Ancient Rome, and wonder what the initials SPQR stand for on the buildings? Wonder no more: Senatus Populusque Romanus. In Latin, that means the Senate and People of Rome.

The massive layoffs during this brief economic slowdown by large, stable corporations is disgusting. The layoffs are unnecessary not only for those out of a job, but those remaining who are now stuck with extra burdens. Within a year these corporations will need to hire back the same skilled persons, saving virtually nothing but possibly ruining families. Shame on these corporations.

The United States gets voted off the U.N. Human Rights Commission, yet countries like China, Sudan, Cuba, Pakistan, Angola, Vietnam and France remain. Seems as though the Torture Tribe has banded together an alliance to vote off Gretchen, the one they fear the most.

I say fine, let's see what happens when Gretchen's gone and she takes all of her food (read: money) with her on the way out. Let them fend for themselves and starve on rats.

Speaking of the bastion of freedom that is China, police arrested eight members of a book club that failed to ask for official permission to meet. What, you didn't know that "Chicken Soup for the Repressed" was written only to encourage revolution?

The latest Vents:

The USPS processes 10 million address changes every year. The rest, they put in my box.

Life Lesson No. 3198: It's a whole lot easier to get in trouble than to get out of it.

During the last eight years we saw environmental policies that made it prohibitive to build new power plants or oil refineries. Now prices are skyrocketing because we don't have enough energy. Gee, I wonder why?

If you must use your cell phone while driving, please don't talk with your hands.

Five out of four of my daughter's friends agree that math is just too hard in school nowadays.

Parental sayings of 2001: "Ashley, turn that light off. Don't you know that there are little children in California sitting in the dark?"

Murphy's Lane Law is a corollary to the supermarket checkout line truism that whatever line you are in will require a minimum of one price check.

Smog Season is here. Do we need a license to hunt smog?

I heard the new Ford SUV will be called the Expletive because it's so $#&*ing big.

Life Lesson #1382: A 12-ounce can of Coke, when spilled, can cover roughly 9 square feet of desktop.

It's refreshing to have a president whose decisions are based on what he believes is right for the country and not based on what is going to be popular.

Why is it that those great prices offered in the tire ads are always the wrong size for whatever car I have?

I didn't make People magazines 50 Most Beautiful People. I must have been number 51.

OPEC prices are up 10 percent. Gasoline prices are up 40 percent. Somebody is hosing us.

Democrats think that a missile defense system is ridiculous. Let's look back in our time machines (they said that wasn't feasible, either, so ha!) and see what other stupid inventions would never make it:

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communications.'' --- Western Union internal memo, 1876

''Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." --- Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895

''I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.'' --- Thomas Watson, chairman, IBM, 1943

Bet you haven't seen these in the press: Fresh doubt has been cast on evidence for global warming following two discoveries regarding measuring seawater temperatures:

1) Measuring temperatures in seawater has exaggerated the amount of global warming in the seas by almost 40 percent, with the real temperature having risen less than half as fast during the 1970s than the standard measurements suggest. (Robert Matthews, UK Telegraph, "New evidence casts doubt on global warming")

2) Just as El Nino and La Nina were discovered to affect weather patterns a decade ago, new research has uncovered that a slow but regular warming and cooling of the North Atlantic Ocean appears to have a strong impact on rainfall in the United States, a discovery that could complicate efforts to measure the effect of global climate change.

When this gradual cycle is in its warm phase, as it has been since about 1990, there is less rain than normal in most of the country, scientists report in Tuesday's issue of Geophysical Research Letters. Most global warming forecasts call for increased rain over the United States. As a result, this ocean cycle ``could obfuscate our assessment of global warming response,'' said oceanographer David B. Enfield of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

``I think this does add a different dimension to what is going on. Most people assume that the warming of the last 25 years has essentially been greenhouse-related, though I don't feel that way myself,'' said John Christy, a climate researcher at the University of Alabama in Huntsville. (Randolph E. Schmidt, Associated Press, "Ocean Cycle Changes U.S. Rainfall")

With these discoveries changing scientific thought every other day, it gets clearer that the global warming push is really a political movement looking to have more control over how you live your life.

Homer quote: "I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here."

Random site: Apology Note Generator - Love, marriage, and relationships can be difficult. Sometimes, all it takes is an apology. Use this simple form for butt-kissing needs.
     

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