"The White House said it was a strike. The Taliban said it missed and killed several innocent civilians."

One gets the idea that all the running and hiding by the Taliban leaders has led to them feeling that their manhood has been challenged.

The Taliban's Foreign Minister proposed a duel among Pres. Bush, Tony Blair and Taliban leader Mullah Mohammad Omar, facing off with Kalashnikov rifles "to determine as to who will run."

Apparently the Taliban forgets that they're dealing with NRA-supporting Bush, a conservative Republican, and not a panty-waste like Bill "Only criminals should have guns" Clinton. I give the definite edge to the Texan in any duel with scaredy-cats in Afghanistan.

I think we all know the repuation of federal employees, so thank you very much but I'd just assume that private screeners check bags at airports, like they do in Europe and Israel with federal oversight.

When was the last time you stood in line at the Dept. of Motor Vehicles and thought, "I wish these guys checked my luggage at the airport?"

The new Mayor of Overstatement, tricky Dick Gephardt, has decided that even the good Lord above sides with him: "The companies that have the contracts --- the lowest bidders --- don't want to give up the contracts, and so they hired Washington lobbyists to come and lobby the administration and lobby the Congress," Gephardt said before the vote. "In the name of God, it's time to end those contracts and to do what's right to make people safe."

And the Left says that conservatives invoke God's name excessively?

I'm still fuming over Cynthia McKinney's criticism of Rudy Giuliani's return of a check from Saudi Arabia following remarks about the U.S. policy in Israel as an excuse.

That she would side with a monarchist government that treats women as chattle and talks out of both sides of their mouths to us is despicable.

As Thomas L. Friedman noted in the New York Times:

      As long as the Saudis kept the oil flowing, what they taught in their schools and mosques was not our business. And what we didn't know wouldn't hurt us.
      Well, on Sept. 11 we learned just how wrong that view was. What we didn't know hurt us very badly. On Sept. 11 we learned all the things about Saudi Arabia that we didn't know: that Saudi Arabia was the primary funder of the Taliban, that 15 of the hijackers were disgruntled young Saudis and that Saudi Arabia was allowing fund-raising for Osama bin Laden as long as he didn't use the money to attack the Saudi regime.
      And most of all, we've learned about Saudi schools. As this newspaper recently reported from Riyadh, the 10th-grade textbook for one of the five required religion classes taught in all Saudi public schools states: "It is compulsory for the Muslims to be loyal to each other and to consider the infidels their enemy." This hostile view of non-Muslims, which is particularly pronounced in the strict Saudi Wahhabi brand of Islam, is reinforced through Saudi sermons, TV shows and the Internet.

This was an editorial written by Egypt's leading editor, personally appointed by President Hosni Mubarak. It flat out accuses the U.S. of dropping poison food on Afghans.

And it looks like China isn't on our side as much as we thought on the war on terrorism. The state-run media has flooded the market with books, films and video games glorifying the strikes as a humbling blow against an arrogant nation.

The most popular DVDs have been produced by the Xinhua information agency, Beijing Television and China Central Television.

A documentary by Beijing Television, called Attack America, uses scenes from Hollywood movies spliced between shots of the events of Sept. 11, including footage from the 1998 remake of Godzilla, in which a monster destroys New York buildings.

The narrator speaks over footage of the rubble in New York, "This is the America the whole world has wanted to see. Blood debts have been repaid in blood. America has bombed other countries and used its hegemony to deny the natural rights of others without paying the price. Who until now has dared to avenge the hurts inflicted by unaccountable Americans."

On the unofficial films the commentary is even more vitriolic: "Look at the panic in their faces as they wipe off the dust and crawl out of their strong buildings - now just a heap of rubble. We will never fear these people again, they have been shown to be soft-bellied paper tigers."

From the "Will he ever shut the hell up?" files, Bill Clinton has decided that the nation is "paying a price today" for our European ancestors' treatment of blacks and native americans. Seemingly equating the sins of our forebearers with the current evil of Osama and his cronies, Clinton talked about how "slaves quite frequently were killed even though they were innocent", as an example of international terrorism dating back thousands of years (apparently his definition of terror is very broad).

Of course, when he had a chance to do something about terrorism on his own watch, he did nothing following the '93 attack on the World Trade Center, the attacks on our troops in Saudi Arabia or the '98 embassy bombings (whoopty-doo, a few cruise missiles at dirt). Russian president Vladmimir Putin even noticed, saying that the Russians "certainly were counting on a more active cooperation in combating international terrorism" than Clinton provided.

The former (thank you, God) president then decided to throw out some misplaced empathy for Muslims. Decrying the Crusades as if Muslims should use them as an excuse to be victims, Clinton forgets that until the late 20th Century that followers of Mohammed glorified in the Crusades because they won. Yes, the Muslims kicked Christian butt and drove our ancestors back to Europe, and then took much of their land. The Ottoman Empire existed up until World War I, which, as you may have noticed, left much of the Balkans' people practicing the Muslim faith.

Clinton followed, "We need to reach out and engage the Muslim world in a debate," although he has yet to prove that we could end the war by sitting around a table and comparing life with toilets with life in caves. He then went on to call for better education to prevent terrorism, again forgetting that the terrorists who caused the 9/11 disasters were educated and well-off.

The one thing I agreed with? That it's "no accident that most of these terrorists come from non-democratic countries."

Very much so. It's not a coincidence that the most prosperous nations are the ones who espouse freedom and practice democratic ideals.

Unlike her father, Chelsea Clinton doesn't join the American self-haters, saying that "... I even resent -- the theory that America's arrogance, even indirectly, led to the attacks."

But she also has been placed in the uncomfortable position of causing her mother some grief as well. It must suck to be the daughter amid two lying, scheming parents who lie like as easy as breathing.

In her upcoming essay for Talk magazine, Chelsea says that she was not in harm's way during the attacks on New York in September. However, Sen. Hitlary Clinton had a different tale, saying on NBC's "Dateline" that Chelsea "had gone on what she thought would be a great jog. She was going down to Battery Park, she was going to go around the towers. She was going to get a cup of coffee and - that's when the plane hit!"

Bzzt! Wrong! Surely Hillary wasn't counting on Chelsea every telling her story, or else she might not have played the sympathy card to get media-types fawning over her.

"At that moment, she was not just a Senator, but a concerned parent," the Today Show's Katie Couric told viewers.

Actually, Chelsea doesn't write that she ever jogged that morning, or headed for the towers. No, the former first daughter says she was at her friend's apartment on Park Avenue South -- miles from Ground Zero -- when she learned of the attacks.

"I stared senselessly at the television," Chelsea writes.

Of course, she also tries her hand at being politcally savvy as her parents, but instead comes across as naive and ditzy. One of her first thoughts was, "I was worried that with the tax cut, we wouldn't have enough money to repair New York and D.C. and to help the families of the thousands I knew must have died."

Quick, someone schedule an intervention! She's been brainwashed by the Democratic Party spin-meisters!

Looks like the World Series was so exciting, Major League Baseball decided to eliminate two teams.

No one will miss Montreal, but Minnesota just saw it's attendance increase by 20% this season while fielding a promising young team. Why not move the franchises to cities waiting for a team, such as D.C. or Charlotte?

While we're at it, let's institute a salary cap to even out the discrepancies in team salaries (such as the Yankees outspending the Twins 5-to-1), something the NBA and NFL learned long ago can help to ensure that every team has at least some semblance of even footing on the field, something all fans can get behind.

A new outlet mall just opened in Gwinnett County outside of Atlanta, called Discover Mills, whose slogan is ""Where Discover Card Is the Smart Choice."

Problem: Many shoppers have just 'discovered' that the Discover credit card isn't accepted at every store, including Neiman Marcus Last Call, Adidas, All About Cellular, Chico's, Cinnabon and a few other shops.

From the Oops Department:

The owners of a painting bought in London from an American who thought it a copy of a long-lost masterpiece have found it is the real "Madonna and Child" by Andrea del Sarto. Harvard University's John Shearman verified the authenticity of the painting, which vanished over 350 years ago, after the English Civil War.

Census numbers show that the gap between the number of men and women in the country narrowed in the 1990s. Great, just what this horribly single guy needs, more competition.

The marketers behind television psychic Miss Cleo were accused Wednesday of violating New York's "Do Not Call" telemarketing law more than 100 times in the past seven months. C. Adrienne Rhodes, the executive director of the Consumer Protection Board, said Access Resource Services --- also called the Psychic Readers Network (PRN) --- may be subject to as much as $224,000 in fines. According to the agency, Access-PRN misleads customers into thinking they can get a free psychic reading. But Rhodes said the "psychics" employed by Access-PRN can be reached only by dialing a 900 number at $3.99 a minute.

You know what's coming next: She had to this coming in the cards.

Recent Vents that make the grade:

Who would have thought that August 2001 would be the good old days?

Why are there not Wal-Marts in Afghanistan? Because there are Targets on every corner.

Cheney is sent into hiding for security, while Dubya throws out the first pitch at the World Series. Who's expendable here?

With gas prices at a record low, I can finally splurge at Wal-Mart.

This is a WAR. We should not be apologizing for the civilian casualties in Afghanistan.

My best friend is a true optimist. When he did not get any birthday cards in the mail, he said it was because his friends and family did not want to risk exposing him to anthrax.

I nicknamed my dog FICA, because he also hides things never to be seen again.

My friend told me that before he was married, he had three theories about raising kids. Now he has three kids and no theories.

I've seen the new TV shows this season and I'm thinking that next year we won't even need the Emmy Awards.

How appropriate: One of the sponsors for "Temptation Island" was a herpes medication.

I quit playing golf because the better I got, the less I cheated, so my score never really improved.

Why is (the meteorologist) always in the "Severe Weather Center?" Is there no "Really Pretty Good Weather Center," or a "Same Old Same OId Weather Center?"

Batman's Words of Wisdom: "Planting a timebomb in a local library is a felony."

Homer quote: "When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking monsters always want'n more... more... MORE! And if you give it to them, you'll get plenty back in return."

Random site: Alcohol & Drinking Fun Facts: It's the Law -- Surprising, strange and silly alcohol laws and regulations.

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