So many professional and amateur pundits have compared Osama bin Laden to Hitler, the Devil, Hillary Clinton (okay, so that may just be me), but I have only one: Jabba the Hut.
So many professional and amateur pundits have compared Osama bin Laden to Hitler, the Devil, Hillary Clinton (okay, so that may just be me), but I have only one: Jabba the Hut.
Seeing too many shots of him reclined in a cave on a bunch of pillows and blankets, I keep expecting him to eat a weird rodent and pull a chained-up bikini-clad woman over to him and lick her with a two-foot tongue while laughing like a loon.
Here's hoping Osama meets the same fate in a desert soon enough.
The Left and the media (I know, redundant) are flabbergasted that Americans by and large support Attorney General John Ashcroft's new powers aimed at preventing further terrorist attacks.
Their argument? Well, obviously Americans are just too ignorant to know that their civil rights are being stripped.
As usual, it's liberals who believe that that we're too stupid to know what's best for us.
At least those on the Right who disagree with the new measures do so because they fear big brother government, not their fellow citizens.
Someday, former (thank God) president Clinton may hope that his legacy is just about hanky-panky in the Oval Office.
Don't forget, folks. The Sudanese offered to deliver Osama bin Laden to us five years ago. The Clinton administration turned them down, reportedly because it wasn't politically attractive.
Jay Leno: "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly."
I think it's high time that Muslim leaders started pandering to the U.S., proving that they're peaceful, instead of us having to assume that their religion is one of non-violence.
So far they seem unimpressed by our outpouring of support, and never thanked us for saving the butts of Muslims in Kuwait, Bosnia and Kosovo in the past decade, and trying to help in Somalia.
Remember that before Yasser Arafat launched the current intifada last year, both war hawks and peaceniks in the region were stunned when he turned down an offer by then-Israeli Prime Minster Ehud Barak that offered the PLO leader virtually everything the PLO ever asked for.
Think of it; Palestinian schools teach vile anti-Semitism, and their textbooks don't even recognize Israel as a sovereign nation. In front of English cameras, Arafat tells us that he's trying to fight terrorists. In front of Arab crowds, he calls the suicide bombers martyrs and encourages uprisings.
Arafat and his fellow terrorist goons don't want peace. There's no victimization (i.e., pity money) in achieving peace, but there's always support for more fighting from his Muslim pals in the Middle East.
Even extremist liberal Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) has to bow to the Jewish side:
"The P.L.O. is the same as the Taliban, which aids, abets and provides safe haven for terrorists. And Israel is like America, simply trying to protect its home front. To ask Israel to negotiate with Arafat is like asking America to negotiate with Mullah Muhammad Omar, the chief of the Taliban."
What makes this new war on terrorism different than the ones before? As Thomas Friedman writes in the New York Times, terrorists "hate us more than they love life itself. In the Cold War, we could always count on the fact that at the end of the day, the Soviets loved life as much as we did..."
Remember when Cynthia McKinney (D-Ga), the cutest little Commie in Congress, got on her knees to beg for the $10 million from the Saudi prince who said the U.S. got what it deserved?
She's not alone. Congressman Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) returned from a trip to the Middle East announcing that the terrorist group Hezbollah is legitimate and has never been involved with terrorist activities, according to the Teheran Times, IRNA (the official Iranian news agency), and the Beirut Daily Star.
Interesting. I suppose he forgot about when Hezbollah, Arabic for "Warriors for Allah," killed 241 U.S. Marines in Beirut, kidnapped several Americans, and of course murdered many more Jews. Hezbollah declares that, "it is the duty of all Muslims to engage in Islamic jihad if it ensures the ultimate goal, which consists in inflicting losses on the enemy."
"I have a great deal of sympathy for the work that Hezbollah tries to do," Issa told the Beirut Daily Star. I guess he doesn't care that Hezbollah is on the State Department's list of terrorist organizations, and one of the three major components of Osama bin Laden's al-Qaida terrorist network, according to the Wall Street Journal and countless other sources.
Want inspections of Iraqi installations to work? Tell Saddam that any building that the UN team is not allowed to enter gets bombed within an hour.
National Review online editor Jonah Goldberg has another amusing insight into the new war:
"This conflict between Islam and Christianity is much like the rivalry between Ithaca College and Cornell University; everyone at Ithaca knows about it and no one at Cornell has any idea what the kids from Ithaca are talking about."
Spain arrested eight people believed to be associated with al-Qaeda, and possibly the Sept. 11 attacks. But, the Spanish Constitution says that the country cannot extradite anyone to a country that enforces the death penalty.
I know how to get around this. Bush can tell them to 'kiss our butts and your millions of dollars in aid' goodbye if they don't hand over the crooks. Then agree not to kill the terrorists, but let them live in terror of our prison system for the rest of their lives. It's not like they'd last more than a few days among our ticked-off incarcerated.
This week's winner of the Just Shut Up award: actor Danny Glover.
In a speech at Princeton University (why do people always forget that what gets applause at Ivy League schools will usually get you booed everwhere else?), the Lethal Weapon star said the U.S. should spare Osama's life as a protest against the death penalty, then went on to call our country "one of the main purveyors of violence in this world."
Tell that to all the freed Afghan men who are shaving their beards and especially the women, finally showing their faces in public for the first time in five years.
Jay Nordlinger on National Review Online has an interesting fun fact:
"Osama bin Laden and Mullah Omar are each other's father-in-law. They are each other's son-in-law, too. Bin Laden is married to one of Omar's daughters; Omar is married to one of bin Laden's daughters. Each man is both father-in-law and son-in-law to the other."
Moments before President Bush arrived to name the Justice Department headquarters for former presidential brother and former Attorney General Robert Kennedy, Ms. Kerry Kennedy-Cuomo -- daughter of RFK and wife to Andrew Cuomo, son of Marion Cuomo and staunch supporter of the Clintons -- decided that the celebration was a good time to advance her political career. In part of her speech, Kennedy-Cuomo told her daughter, Cara, that the Bush administration's handling of terrorism is something "her grandpa" wouldn't embrace.
Of course, I don't think she felt like bringing up what he did embrace, and that is his approval of clandestine recordings of Martin Luther King, Jr. and sidestepping the Constitution in an attempt to shut down the Mafia.
Taliban treasonist John Walker is being pitied by many on the Left as a pathetic soul who took an unfortunate path in life. Friends and relatives are reciting the mantra of Walker as "sweet, shy kid." A family friend described Walker as a "very sweet, unassuming, very spiritual young man - rather frail, not an all-American football player or anything like that, certainly not a fighter."
As Kathleen Parker notes on Townhall.com, "last time we checked, all-American football players weren't lining up to plot mass murders. After you've exhausted your spleen butting heads and locking shoulder pads with a few other 300-pound meat grinders, life can seem pretty uncomplicated. No, it's the sweet, shy, skinny ones you have to watch out for." See bin Landen, the Unabomber and Tim McVeigh.
"I am thoroughly appalled that . . . a technique as divisive as race baiting would used as a method of getting out the vote in 2001." -- Letter from Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-Ga.) Tuesday to the Democratic National Committee on tactics in the New York mayoral election.
"Republicans get nervous when black people vote." -- Headline on a statement issue by McKinney Thursday.
Delta Air Lines is implimenting an express lane at security checkpoints for platinum medallion members of its SkyMiles frequent flier program. First-class and BusinessElite travelers are also eligible. These are passengers that often fly several times a week on business and supply a large amount of revenue for the airline business.
Nevertheless, I give this a week before the class warfare warlords go berserk, claiming it is elitist and discriminatory against us 'common' folk that fly three or four times a year.
Refuting the idea that adults can't communicate with their adolescents is a new study that says parents underestimate the influence they have on their children. Experts say that teens are less likely to start smoking if they think their parents disapprove of the habit...and this is true even if the parents are smokers themselves.
The study also shows that parental disapproval can be more powerful than peer pressure, which is said to be one of the main reasons kids start smoking.
Maybe this can help dwindle the liberal cry that "they're going to do it anyway, so let's just give 'em what they want" idea in schools.
How can I tell that it's the holiday season?
As those of you who watch my network (God bless the two of you) have noticed, the poinsettia fairy exploded in the new studio.
I don't care how many flags are on your car. If you don't wave thanks to me when I let you into traffic, I'm going to give you 'the bird.'
Affirmative action is in the headlines again here in Georgia, as the courts have refused to allow the
University system to use race as a factor in admissions.
When are education and racial leaders going to stop worrying about students who are ready for college, instead of paying attention to when the statistics really matter: Elementary school.
U.S. Secretary of Education Rod Paige, himself an African-American, notes that "at the fourth-grade level, 40 percent of whites read above grade level; only 12 percent of blacks do so."
So, by the age of 10, the disparity is already so large that by college the problem is set in stone. Let's start working to make sure are children are learning at the earliest of ages and demand results by third grade, not waiting until students hit their teens and worry more about clothes than education.
Amid all the hooplah during the War on Terrorism, a little meeting was overshadowed, the Black World Conference, held last week in Atlanta.
Actually, this wasn't a conference so much as it was a "Who's the bigger victim" rally.
In a Friday evening session titled "The Sept. 11 Attack and the 'War' on Terrorism: How Should Americans of African Descent Respond?" speaker after speaker stressed that Africans and African-Americans had known terror that white Americans will never be able to compare with Sept. 11.
Al Sharpton said the Bush administration's anti-terrorism bill would be used "to justify locking us up, and those that speak up will be attacked as terrorists."
Jesse Jackson charged Thursday that the FBI and "the right wing media" already were targeting black American leaders.
Another said that the new security measures in airports were merely an intensification of "oppression" against the black community.
Kim Ellis, an academician from Indiana, used Friday's session on Sept. 11 to tell the approximately 200 attendees about her research on the 1921 race riot in Tulsa, Okla., which left hundreds dead and 40 square blocks burned.
African-American Atlanta Mayor Bill Campbell is dismayed by recent polling showing that as many as 70 percent of black Americans are in favor of the racial profiling of Arabs and other Middle Easterners.
"Whoever favors pulling somebody off a plane because their skin is brown, don't complain when they pull your son or daughter of school because their skin is black."
Of course, this bit of common sense about racial profiling followed welcoming comments in which he said that ".. while the rest of the country waves the flag of Americana, we understand we are not part of that." So, in fact he's saying that blacks are not part of the United States.
Oh yeah, and Sharpton came up later to add that, "We don't owe America anything; America owes us."
Not one speaker said that the days after Sept. 11 should be about races bonding together in a common cause.
"Nadler and the Welsh: An article in the national section of today's New York Times quotes Rep. Jerrold Nadler, a Democrat from New York. "The bill before the House welshes on that solemn pledge," the Times quotes Mr. Nadler as saying. When Bill Clinton used the word "welsh" this way, Rees Lloyd, general counsel for the Welsh-American Legal Defense, Education and Development Fund called the remark "awful" and "insensitive," according to CNN.
The New York Times stylebook describes this use of the word "welsh" as "an ethnic slur." So why isn't the Times headline, "New York Congressman Uses Ethnic Slur; Welsh Express Outrage"? Given the Times' tip-toeing around the sensitivities of other angry minority groups, it is interesting to see that Mr. Nadler get a free ride on what by the Times's own definition is an "ethnic slur." (Smartertimes.com, 11/29)
Why did ABC make a new "Brian's Song"? The original is a classic and still stands on its own just fine, thank you very much.
You think baseball has a public relations disaster looming due to the contraction of teams, wait until Jesse Jackson gets wind of ownership issues involving a black investor.
Donald V. Watkins, an Alabama billionaire, would be baseball's first black owner if Major League Baseball would allow him to purchase any of the ailing teams that are said to be on the verge of contraction. The Minnesota Twins are high on his list.
Baseball deserves any bad publicity should they decide to let the Twins fold without letting potential new owners have another shot in the market, especially when one of the willing moneymen is not an old white man.
Larry King has revealed more of his bias towards 'flyover country,' a sentiment shared by many of the East and West Coast elites. NY Post gossip guru Cindy Adams reports that King, speaking about New York City's bums, said, "I love bums. Bums in New York are literate. Bums in New York could run a grocery chain in Des Moines."
And apparently, sometimes bums can get their own cable talk shows.
I'm pretty sure this violates the "No Kill" order:
During an argument over whether a fire violated the state's burning ban, a North Carolina man is charged with beating his 63-year-old stepfather to death. Matthew Shields, 41, told investigators he had used crack cocaine and had been drinking when he started the fire.
Some of the funnier items on a scrawling ticker during a spoof of modern news on Fox's Mad TV:
Batman's Words of Wisdom: "It looks like we're getting closer to the heart of this criminal artichoke."
Homer quote: "Oh, Marge. I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich."
Random site: Lassie kills! -- What you always feared, that among other things, perhaps Lassie set up those ‘accident’s by Timmy in order to achieve personal glory.