Did you know that Ted Kennedy's dog is named Splash? Seems appropriate.

This pretty much sums up how conservatives feel right now:

A man goes to the White House and asks to see President Clinton. The Marine on duty tells the guy that Clinton isn't President any longer and that he should please leave. The man goes away.

The next day the same man comes back to the White House and asks to see President Clinton. The same Marine is on duty and tells the guy again that Clinton is not the President any longer, please go away. The man goes away.

The third day the same man comes back again, and again the same Marine is on duty. The man asks to see President Clinton and the Marine yells, "WHY DO YOU KEEP COMING HERE ASKING FOR PRESIDENT CLINTON? I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT BILL CLINTON IS NOT PRESIDENT ANYMORE!!!"

The man smiles happily and says, "I know, I just like hearing it."

What is Jane Fonda's biggest concern? Illiteracy? Poverty? How about the role of gender in education? Yep, the latter.

Fonda has donated $12.5 million to Harvard's Graduate School of Education to establish a school on the subject.

"I have seen how cultural gender norms - that is to say, the way boys are brought up to think of masculinity and girls brought up to think about what it means to be female - really impede their healthy growth and put them at risk," Fonda, 63, said.

It's just one more step to strip children of who they are, and especially to quell the voice of boys as part of a continuing attack on the male mind by feminists.

Oh, the chutzpah of this woman:

Sen. Hitlary Rodham Clinton's new office in Manhattan costs more than any other U.S. senator's office in the country, a stylish 50-story high-rise covered with peach-colored Finnish granite. The annual cost to taxpayers: $514,149, according to The New York Post.

Her rent is nearly $90,000 more than the second most expensive U.S. senator's office, Dianne Feinstein's newly leased $424,632 digs in San Francisco. But Clinton, New York's junior senator, picked space that's twice as roomy, has more amenities, and costs taxpayers nearly two and a half times as much as senior Sen. Chuck Schumer's Manhattan office, which is across the street and $209,532 a year. Clinton is renting 7,900 square feet to Schumer's 3,900. Her office costs $65 a square foot compared to his $51.

"I don't think she's paying too high a rent for the type of building a U.S. senator should be in," said Mitch Arkin of Cushman & Wakefield, one of the world's largest real-estate companies. "She's like royalty. She's the ex-president's wife. She lived in the White House for eight years, for crying out loud," Arkin said.

Gee, I wonder where Hitlary's sense of entitlement comes from? Idiots like Mr. Arkin!

Focusing on racial politics, a few issues that prove that Democrats only believe that whites are racist.

First, senior Dem. Robert Byrd of West Virginia, a former KKK member, used the "N" word when talking about race relations. Did you hear even a peep from blacks, Democrats or the media other than Fox News? Nope. Imagine if George W. Bush had uttered the same phrase, the outcry from the Left.

Second, it seems that blacks in Georgia are selfish regarding their minority status. Just as Census reports show that Hispanics are as large a group as blacks in the U.S., some African-American legislators in Georgia's congress thwarted an effort to broaden the definition of "minority" in a tax provision to include Hispanics. The state law in question gives a small tax break to companies with state contracts that subcontract with minority firms, and the lawmakers believe it was written to deal exclusively with blacks, not hispanics, not women, not asians, et al.

"Economically, it's not a big deal. Symbolically, it's enormous," said Sam Zamarripa, chairman of the Latin American Association in metro Atlanta.

A letter to the editor in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution made a point, that the black legislators have "been exposed too long to that rarefied air in the Georgia Capitol left by their redneck predecessors who, about 25 years ago, were railing against blacks."

Finally, kudos to House Majority Leader Dick Armey for his letter to the heads of the NAACP, denouncing "racial McCarthyism' and 'reverse race-baiting' tactics used against Republicans who disagree with the agenda of the Left.

``Deliberate or not,'' Armey wrote, ``if left unchallenged, this practice will continue to divide our nation, polarize our political parties, and do untold harm in the lives of real people who are unjustly accused of conspiracy against the civil rights of African Americans.''

Armey noted how race-baiting of Republicans began several years ago when it was suggested that conservatives were associated with church burnings. An NAACP television ad last fall accused George W. Bush of callous indifference to the brutal murder by three white men of a black Texan, James Byrd, and many black leaders ridiculously compared the Florida election to the racial battles of Selma, Ala.

Armey also cited comments at an NAACP meeting by the organization's chairman, Julian Bond. The Baltimore Sun quoted Bond as saying that the Bush administration ``selected nominees from the Taliban wing of American politics, appeased the wretched appetites of the extreme right wing and chose Cabinet officials whose devotion to the Confederacy is nearly canine in its uncritical affection.''

This isn't to say that black leaders won't go after their own party when they don't get their way. "The cutest little Communist in Congress," Rep. Cynthia McKinney-Ga., and 17 other black members signed a letter of complaint to the major Democratic organizations that deplores the lack of financial support for local programs, their campaigns and causes important to them. The Congress members called for more hiring of African-American political consultants and more minority representation in party leadership.

I guess it's too late to ask why they didn't make more of a stink when former pres. Clinton rammed through his money man, Terry McAuliffe, to head the DNC rather than the more capable Maynard Jackson, an African-American and former mayor of Atlanta.

Another example from the Left that to them free speech is nothing more than a "good idea," and it hinges on whether you agree with their politically correct agenda. They're not interested in an exchange of ideas:

A coalition of Brown University students (actually just a bunch of thugs) stole the Brown Daily Herald's entire 4,000 paper Friday press run to protest its publishing of an advertisement. The full-page ad is headlined, ''Ten Reasons Why Reparations for Slavery is a Bad Idea and Racist Too.'' Its design is similar to the Bill of Rights, and it states that black Americans owe the United States more than it owes them. The ad by conservative theorist David Horowitz was rejected by most of the 46 school papers to which it was sent, including every Ivy League school except Brown.

Want to know what the future of schools in the Northeast is becoming? Last year the Massachusetts Department of Education helped sponsor a teacher/student training conference on homosexuality at Tufts University in March of 2000. The training program was hosted by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), a group that sets up Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) homosexual recruitment chapters in public schools. During one of these workshops, teens were taught how to "fist" their sexual partners. Fisting is the practice of shoving one's hand and arm up the rectum of a partner. Other workshops taught teachers how to introduce homosexual themes in history classes and even geometry classes. Still another workshop taught children about Transgenders (individuals who believe they are actually the opposite sex).

I made my once-every-three-year trek to buy a new pair of shoes (bought my once-every-ten-years pack of underwear, too, but that's for another day), and realized that I'm the exact reason the shoe warehouse layout is as follows: