And is anyone surprised that it was the French 'cheese-eating surrender monkey' who joined the Axel of Evil, rolling over to the Russians' suggestion of collusion?

Speaking of sporting events, the Westminster Dog Show ending was just as controversial. That daggum poodle is a butt ugly garbage rat! How could such a hussy dog win Best in Show? I think the judges were in collusion to make sure the Terrier didn't win; that's the only explanation for that fufu poodle to win!

Some two years ago I made fun of cricket, but at least that I consider a sport. Curling, however, is shuffleboard on ice and deserves to made fun of. Just check out this press release from the Games and tell me you understand any of it:

"USA skip Tim Somerville sealed a stunning 10-5 win over Peja Lindholm's Swedish rink with a brilliant triple-promotion take-out in the seventh end, raising two stones to take out Sweden's shot rock and score four points."

After the seventh end, do patrons stand to sing "Take Me Out to the Ice Rink?"

Hey! My alma mater made the USA Today "Across the U.S.A." states wire:

Tennessee: Jackson -- Union University is offering an extracurricular course on staying married. The five class meetings end with a candlelight dinner. The small Baptist-affiliated school may eventually offer the course to the community. One teacher with the school's family studies program says too many young people get married without needed communication skills.

That's not the story, as Robert Novak reports that the Sen. Majority Leader was instead in Naples, Fla., addressing a Senate Democrat campaign fund-raiser. He spent the night "at the palatial vacation home of Washington lobbyist Jack Kelly (whose clients include BMW, Perdue Farms and U.S. West)."

I'm sure Daschle wasn't being influenced in any way. He just lost his way on the lonely Florida highways and this good man took him in for the night. After all, only the GOP can be corrupted by Big Business.

A Texas man faces up to 20 years in prison for shooting his girlfriend because he thought she was about to say "New Jersey." It turns out that he gets angry, curses and bangs on walls when he hears certain words or phrases, including "New Jersey," "Snickers," "Mars" and "Wisconsin."

I can see where he's coming from. Certain words and phrases set me off, too, like "Uranus," "tolerance," "Idaho" and "Baldwin."

We all know that the Dems are planning to use the Enron collapse as an attempt to link Bush and Republicans to big business, in an attempt to win seats in November's mid-term elections. But there's a more sinister approach that hasn't received nearly enough coverage, not that you'd expect it from the liberal press.

Newsweek's Howard Fineman reported at the beginning of this year that Dems would demonize the Republicans by saying that the "Christian right" is equivalent to the Taliban. Fineman lays out the talking points for the Left: "Our enemy in Afghanistan is religious extremism and intolerance. It's therefore more important than ever to honor the ideals of tolerance -- religious, sexual, racial, reproductive -- at home."

Fineman continues: "The GOP is out of the mainstream, some Democrats will argue next year, because it's too dependent upon an intolerant 'religious right.' This is an incendiary battle plan -- essentially comparing the GOP right with the Taliban -- designed to draw an outraged response from the president. Then Democrats would have Bush just where they wanted him: in a fire fight at home."

Can you imagine the uproar and gasping from the media if the Republicans released a memo saying that the GOP should compare Democrats to North Korean communists? Instead, not a peep was heard on this. Why? Because for those in the press, this is no big deal; they already believe that the religious right is just as fanatical as those we defeated in Afghanistan.

From the "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool that to speak and remove all doubt" files, San Francisco Chronicle TV critic John Carman calls on David Letterman and Jay Leno to stop wearing American flag lapel pins on the air. "The pins have to come off sometime," Carman writes, "if only because in another year or two, they will reclaim their original meaning: I am a conservative Republican, and more American than you."

Hmm. If the American flag means "I am a conservative Republican," what symbol would Carman say means "I'm a liberal Democrat"? (OpinionJournal.com)

Maybe one of a baby crying or women's underwear to represent pantie wastes like Carman.

A Muslim Florida woman, Najad Tamim-Muhammad, wants to be able to wear a headscarf when she has her driver's license photo taken. Florida says no, and even The Council on American Islamic Relations has not backed Tamim-Muhammad. But here comes the ACLU, last week defending Satan, this week backing Tamim-Muhammad, apparently deciding that it's okay for the state to sanction a religion after all, requesting special treatment for her on religious grounds.

2000 Election update: Theresa LePore, the Democrat who designed the infamous butterfly ballot in Palm Beach County, is so angry at how she has been treated by members of her own party that has changed her voter registration to independent.

Good job, Dem voters. Or should I say 'dim' Palm Beach voters?

He sat before Congress and "took the Fifth" over 50 times last week, refusing to discuss involvement with any illegality.

Ken Lay? No, Craig Rosebraugh of the Earth Liberation Front, an eco-terrorist group, who, with its companion, the Animal Liberation Front, is responsible for some 600 attacks since 1996, causing $43 million in damage to become the largest and most active U.S.-based terrorist group, according to the FBI's top domestic terrorism officer. The groups' criminal acts range from spray-painting buildings and breaking windows to firebombing fur farms, research centers and a ski resort.

Nobody has been killed in an ELF or ALF attack, but Rep. Scott McInnis (news), R-Colo., said it is wrong to think of the ecoterrorists as "nature-loving hippies" or misguided youths.

"These are hardened criminals," he said. "They are dangerous, they are well-funded, they are savvy, sophisticated and stealthy, and if their violence continues to escalate, it is only a matter of time before their parade of terror results in a lost human life."

HBO could learn something from The History Channel, whose multi-part series, "The XY Factor," on the history of sex through the years is educational and fascinating. Unlike the premium channel's "Real Sex" and "G-String Divas," The History Channel's series explores human nature without feeling the need to show ten Jell-O wrestling orgies per episode at sex spas. There's a big difference between evocative and smut.

Batman's Words of Wisdom: "It looks like we're getting closer to the heart of this criminal artichoke."

Homer quote: "Yeah, you know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons."

Random site: Yahoo! Olympic coverage -- Easiest site to navigate with complete Winter Olympic coverage.

Jeff's Editorial Page | Column Archives   | Home