Random Musings


April 17, 2002
By JEFF RUSHING, Webmaster



California has found a new 'sin' to tax: soft drinks. I'm serious; you can't make this stuff up. It used to be a joke that states and trial lawyers would see dollar signs in suing Big Fat, but it is now reality and as soft drinks are the trial balloon. The plan would add a couple of cents to the price of each can of soda, thereby raising around $500 million. Watch out McDonald's, you're next. As soon as the stories start coming out with headlines screaming, "Nuggets ruined my marriage!" we'll start seeing lawyers line up at the court.

The cutest little commie in congress, Cynthia McKinney, is thankfully my FORMER representative until I moved a few years ago to north Atlanta. Apparently she wants to be the "FDR-knew-about-Pearl Harbor" conspiracy theorist of our generation. In a recent interview with a Berkeley, Calif. (of course), radio station, McKinney called for an investigation into whether President Bush and other government officials had advance notice of terrorist attacks on Sept. 11 but did nothing to prevent them. She added that "persons close to this administration are poised to make huge profits off America's new war."

A day later in a statement she said: "I am not aware of any evidence showing that President Bush or members of his administration have personally profited from the attacks of 9-11. A complete investigation might reveal that to be the case."

Well, I don't have proof that McKinney steals money from panhandlers, has a subscription to "Chicks with D***s," thinks orange is the new pink and enjoys "Fear Factor," but an investigation might prove it to be the case.

This is what happens when a Democrat feels too safe in their district. There is no doubt that McKinney knew what she was doing, and will still easily win this November because her leftist core constituents are just as prone to believing the worst about our country. No word yet if McKinney is actually French.

So how did that Saudi Arabia telethon for Palestinian "martyrs" go? Was there a tote board adding up the amount donated? Did the host smilingly proclaim, "Thank you for your contribution, there is now enough to eliminate three hundred Zionist dogs!" Did little Johnny Amin walk up and tell the host, "I wanna be just like my daddy when I blow up"?

Seeing how Europeans are coming out of their anti-Israel cocoon to side with the Palestinians, it is now clear that the only friend Israel has is the United States. And Bush and Colin Powell are trying to prevent Sharon from defending his country. Some friends we are.

Neo-Nazis around the world (including from the U.S.) are teaming up with Islamofascists to target Jewish synagogues, cemeteries and businesses. This should send up a red flag to anyone trying to determine which side is in the right during this conflict.

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that Jewish students at U. of California, Berkeley, coming out of worship services have been pelted with eggs and subjected to epithets. Last week someone threw a cinder block through the front windows and wrote "F--- Jews" in black marker on the Jewish Hillel cultural center's recycling bins. Some Jewish students believe that Berkeley professors, even those who are Jewish, have unfairly come down hard on Israel in lectures.

Trying to draw some sort of equivalency, Palestinian students say they too are harassed on campus--labeled as terrorists and as being anti-Semitic just for voicing their opposition to Israel.

Let's review: Jewish students are physically assaulted by sticks and stones, while Palestinians claim that words will hurt them.

The next time you hear a sob story about a pregnant Palestinian woman being stopped at a checkpoint, remember this: A 24-year-old woman named Shifa Adnan an-Kutzi was arrested last week as a would-be suicide bomber, when her 'fetus' was actually a vest packed with explosives under her garment.

Also remember this the next time you hear complaining about Palestinian ambulances not being given free reign of the area: Terrorists have been using Red Crescent ambulances to strap bombs under the stretchers of the dead bodies inside.

Finally, a couple of Muslim leaders have spoken against Arafat. I'm glad to see that at least one of a million will do so, but this one is all the way over in Italy. Prof. Abdul Hadi Palazzi, secretary-general of the Italian Muslim Association, said he approved of Ariel Sharon's decision to "destroy the centers of the Arafatian terror in Israel," accused the Palestinian Authority chairman of inciting "more than 30 years of barbarian and indiscriminate terror" and for Sharon not to stop until Yasser Arafat is "executed or jailed."

Meanwhile, Sheikh Ali Hussen, president of the same Italian Muslim Association, also praised Sharon's actions, adding, "Arafat's wickedness has reached the extreme limit of what humanity can bear, and … it is time for that murderer of Jews, of Christians and of Muslims, for the man who has been spreading terror on the face of earth, to pay the final bill for his numberless crimes."

In an April 17, 2001, interview with WorldNetDaily, Palazzi said that the right for Israel to exist is even described in the Koran:

"And thereafter we said to the Children of Israel: 'Dwell securely in the Promised Land. And when the last warning will come to pass, we will gather you together in a mingled crowd,'" the Koran says in 17:104, The Night Journey.

Palazzi notes that one of the most common misconceptions in the current Arab-Israeli conflict is that in reality, "there is no such thing as a 'Palestinian.' "There never was. It is a PR fiction, a Madison Avenue fantasy," he said.

It's the little things in life that make it worthwhile and enjoyable. Such as the fact from ESPN's "The Life" last week, which followed the Red Sox in spring training. Watching my tape, I noted that the camera followed the guys during the week I was in Ft. Myers, and much of the game footage was from the St. Patrick's Day game against Philly. They showed the fourth-inning home run by Lou Merloni, and as he's rounding first, the camera is shooting from the third base side. I slowed down the tape. As fan-favorite "Louuuuuuuu" rounds first you can see me in the background, arms raised and face in a "woo" expression, noticeable from my red Red Sox polo with white/black stripes and red Sox cap. Sorry, Dad, but you were hidden behind the first base coach.

My agent is now calling to see if I can make a repeat appearance at ballgames and give teams a bona fide celebrity cheerleader for hire, and cheaply for airfare and a few hot dogs.

Remember that famous photo of the three New York firefighters raising the American flag amid the rubble of the World Trade Center? Would you be surprised if I told you that the famous picture didn't win the Pulitzer Prize for Breaking News Photography? I was too.

Instead, a New York Times portfolio won the award, featuring shots like the towers collapsing, a dust-covered tea serving and shocked bystanders. Forty years down the road, which will you recall more about the days after 9/11/2001, a photo of a dusty tea set or the Firemen, reminiscent of the historic 1945 image of American soldiers on Iwo Jima?

Some suggest that the committee awarding the Pulitzer has been infected by the PC Disease. New York Post columnist Andrea Peyser raised the issue by asking: "Was it the American flag that spooked the current gaggle of Pulitzer Price committee members? Or was it that the firemen were all white guys?"

Would the committee now like to change their minds for past winners? Would they rather vote for a picture of Elian Gonzalez playing on the swingset instead of being ripped at gunpoint? Or as columnist Mark Trapscott says, "Would these same judges have favored a tattered cowboy hat over the grieving fireman carrying the mortally injured infant as the news photo that epitomized the Oklahoma City bombing?"

The Rio de Janeiro tourist board is preparing to sue Fox Television "for damage to its international image and loss of revenue" regarding an episode of "The Simpsons" in which Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie visit the popular destination. The tourist board says that the show portrayed their home as "a city where all men are bisexual, where fearsome monkeys roam the streets, and tourists are kidnapped by taxi drivers and mugged by children."

What? Do you mean that the "conga" isn't really the preferred mode of transportation?

Hang on.... let me get a piece of paper so I can note that Rio has perhaps the most vacant sense of humor on the planet.

Ron Brown, an assistant football coach at the University of Nebraska, applied for the head coaching job at Stanford. "But he didn't get any further than the initial interview," the Daily Nebraskan reports. "The reason: It soon became apparent his religious views, among other things, were incompatible with Stanford's liberal student body and active gay community."

I'm not surprised at all that Stanford would do so. The hypocrisy of Leftist universities knows no bounds, and this is just one more instance that the only non-victim (in that we don't run around saying "You discriminate against us")/non-protected (in that someone should say when those with religious beliefs are being shunned) group in the States are Christians.

What's unbelievable is that if the coach had said he didn't care if any students graduated, the school wouldn't care, if the coach said he didn't care if underage athletes drank or did drugs, the school probably would giggle and say "As long as you win, coach." But that he prays, "*Gasp!* We can't have that making our touchy-feely knee-jerk bedwetting liberal folk feel guilty for their actions!"

Lawyers for Johnny Taliban, John Walker Lindh, are complaining that Lindh was "mistreated" while in U.S. military custody. It seems that some of the guards took pictures with the traitor, writing the "s**thead" on his blindfold. Problem is, in any court the prosecutors will have an easy time establishing for the jury that the defendant is, in fact, a "s**thead."

As Thomas Oliver of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution notes: "If it only takes $120,000 a year to be considered rich in this country ... I doubt you'll find many of those who consider themselves to be rich." Oliver adds: "For conservatives, April 15 is a reminder of how far we've strayed and how much it cost. For liberals, April 15 is payday."

"Taxation WITH representation ain't so hot, either." - Gerald Barzan

Tom Dasc-hole and Dick Gephardt sent letters to the cable news heads whining that the Democrats in Congress don't get as much coverage as the White House during this time of war. Can you imagine if Newt Gingrich and Trent Lott had done so when they had the majority and Clinton had all the press, what kind of backlash over "evil tampering with the media" that would cause?

The latest Vents from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

So Slick Willy regrets the March Rich pardon because it harmed his reputation. Which reputation would that be?

I miss the old days when people in the Middle East just threw rocks at each other.

I wonder if I can get a loan from the West Bank?

Has any person who has been struck by lightning ever won the lottery?

If I had just one wish, I would wish for unlimited wishes.

Daylight Saving Time is a time tax you pay in April. You receive a refund in October.

Today's home care tip: It's time to dust the pollen off your Christmas lights.

My neighbors laughed at me when I built a bomb shelter in my basement. Now I read that an asteroid is coming and it's gonna hit Earth in 800 years. So who's laughing now?

You only need two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.

The following breeds are now recognized by the AKC:

Collie + Lhasa Apso = Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport

Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer = Spaniel Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end

Batman's Words of Wisdom (to Gordon and O'Hara): "We have tickets for tonight's finals in the Gotham City Miss Galaxy Contest. I know Robin is a little young for this sort of thing, but ..."
      Robin: "I'm not going to be young all my life, Batman, and besides, uh, beauty contests are practically an American institution!"
      Batman: "You see, gentlemen, such pure logic is indisputable."

Homer quote: "You know, my kids think you're the greatest. And thanks to your gloomy music, they've finally stopped dreaming of a future I can't possibly provide."

Random site: Dictionary of Emoticons -- Smilies of all kinds.



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