Let’s cut all the bullshit and get right to the matches tonight. As always the UCW survives without corporate sponsorship.
Well here the “Heartthrob” and current UCW heavyweight champ Jack Heart who is also accompanied be his tag team partner for tonight, me.
Heart and me enter the ring as their opponents, the team of Thug and Snake are making their way to down the ramp to the ring.
Thug and Snake walk to the ring and immediately start swing on Heart and me. Thug and Heart trade blows and retreat to their corners while Snake executes a pumphandle suplex on me. me is up and returns the favor by executing a pumphandle suplex on Snake. The bell rings as Snake executes the guillotine choke on me.
Snake releases the choke and does a corkscrew legdrop on me. Snake climbs to his feet and me is to his knees. Thug is tagged in by Snake and Thug punches me repeatedly. Thug lifts me up and then clotheslines him. Thug scoops me up and lands a fisherman suplex.
me executes a corkscrew legdrop on Thug me finally gets to his feet on his own. Me doesn’t waste any time and nails Thug with a shooting star press. The referee slides in for the count ...1 ...2 Thug escapes.
Thug is up to his feet and me hits him with a rolling elbow smash to the face. me tags Jack Heart and Heart and Thug lockup. Thug sends Jack Heart to the corner of the ring with an Irish whip but Heart knifehand chops Thug when he attempts to avalanche. Snake reaches in over the rope and Thug manages to tag. Snake knees in the gut and then does an Aztecan suplex on Jack Heart sends him to the mat. Snake climbs to his feet but Heart is already up. Jack Heart hits a tiger driver on Snake and Heart rebounds back to his feet. Heart puts a knee to Snake's back and pulls his arms back. The referee is looking for a tap out ... Snake shakes his head no and escapes. Snake climbs to his feet and hits Hear with a back fist. Snake follows it up with knifehand chop to the throat. Snake jumps and does a spinning mule kick but Heart ducks. Snake runs to the corner and tags in Thug. Jack Heart gives Thug a warm welcome back into the ring with a spinebuster bomb and Thug hits the mat hard. Jack Heart covers Thug ...1 ...2 …Thug kicks out. Jack Heart lifts Thug again knocks Thug out with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. Jack Heart goes for a pin....1 ...2 …Thug escapes again!
[Thug moves back to his feet and Jack Heart sends Thug across the ring and off of the ropes. Thug is met with a spinning heel kick. Jack Heart leaps and does a jumping sidekick on Thug. Now Thug standing. Thug gets hit with a dragon screw from Jack Heart. Jack Heart moves back to his feet and applies an arm wrench to Thug. Thug stands up. Thug goes for a spinebuster bomb but Jack Heart dodges the attack. Thug executes a split legged moonsault on to Jack Heart. Thug chants start. Thug climbs to his feet,
Jack Creed - Thug can't win the match out there.
Thug applies an arm wrench of his own to Jack Heart. Jack Heart stands up and gives Thug a reverse neckbreaker. Thug gets to his knees and rakes the face of Jack Heart in attempt to make a come back. Thug connects with a flying knee. Jack Heart goes down. Jack Heart climbs to his feet and nails Thug with the double arm DDT into the mat. Jack Heart chants start.
[Thug gets to one knee and takes Heart down with a corkscrew armdrag. Jack Heart gets back to his feet. Jack Heart hits a spinning leg lariat on Thug sending him to the floor. Heart lands an elbowdrop and then a fist drop. Heart goes for a pin...1 ...2 Thug escapes. Thug gets back to his feet. Thug hits Jack Heart with an atomic drop. He covers Jack Heart hooking the leg. ...1 ...2 Jack Heart kicks out. Heart moves back to his feet. Indian deathlock applied by Thug as the ref checks for a tap out. ... Thug tightens the hold. ... Thug breaks the hold and then drags Jack Heart to the floor. Jack Thompson starts the count …1… Jack Heart executes a headlock takedown and rolls onto Thug connecting with a knee. Heart makes the tag to me. and me gets tagged by Thug with a jumping sidekick on me. Thug is able to tag Snake and me and Snake lockup. me sends Snake to the corner delivers a kick to the head of Snake.
me goes for a German suplex on Snake sends him to the mat. me stands up and brings in Jack Heart with the tag. me does a fall-away splash on Snake and Jack Heart clotheslines Snake and Heart piledrives Snake on his way out of the ring.
me uses a snap mare on Snake and comes in hard with an elbow drop. Snake looks hurt and me begins stomping him in the center of the ring and then bounces off of the ropes and does a leg drop across Snakes throat. Heart is yelling at me for a tag and me tags Heart in. Jack Heart rakes the face of Snake in attempt to and then connects with a flying knee. Snake goes down hard. Jack Heart climbs to his feet executes a swinging bulldog on Snake driving Snake's face into the mat. Heart is up and quickly applies an arm wrench to Snake and then launches him with a ropeflip hiptoss. Jack Heart sets Snake up and DDTs him into the mat. Jack Heart climbs to the top of the turnbuckle and executes the diving headbutt and then Gorilla presses snake Heart covers. ...1 ...2 ...3! Jack Heart and me are the winners in this one!!!
Star is already in the cage pacing back and forth waiting for the Anti-Hero. Nirvana’s “Negative Creep” begins and Rage and Ickeez come out of the locker rooms. Ickeez is giving Rage some words of wisdom, if you can believe that shit, and slaps Rage hard across the face to wake his ass up and get the piss and vinegar flowing freely. Rage steps into the and the referee locks the door. The cage begins up rise up and Star executes a pumphandle suplex on Chris Rage. Chris Rage walks around the cage. Star tackles Chris Rage and Chris Rage is up again. Rage uppercuts Star but Star gets a headlock and bulldogs Chris Rage. Star is up and Chris Rage hits with a rolling elbow smash to the face and then a kneeling headbutt to Star's groin.
Rage moves in and begins punching Star in the face as the crowd counts. Out of nowhere Rage is pelted with bb’s! Instantly he begins to welt up and steps back off of Star. Star uses the cage to get to his feet Rage moves in but gets taken down with an armdrag takedown. Star clotheslines Chris Rage and follows with a jumping sidekick on Chris Rage. Rage is on his back and Star pins him down and stars pounding on him. Below three of the clowns put their flame throwers together and start to shoot a plume of fire up towards Rage. Quickly Rage reverses and holds Star down. Rage shields his face on Stars chest and the blast of fire nails Star in the back. He writhes in pain. Rage scoops him up and his back is charred. Chris Rage puts Star in an arm grapevine submission. Star gets up to a knee and Rage hits a power slam on Star and then starts to climb the cage. As Rage climbs the cage the fans begin showering bb’s at him. He gets hit in the eye and falls hard to the bottom of the cage. Star takes advantage of this and starts choking him out with his knee across Rage’s throat.
Down in the ring on of the midget clowns is on fire and running around the ring like a fool. Ringside officials hit him with the extinguishers and he drops and rolls. Back in the cage Star grabs Rage by the hair and stands him up. Star goes for a swinging neckbreaker but Rage reverses it and does a reverse DDT on Star. Chris Rage moves back to his feet and is climbing the cage. Rage makes it to the top of the cage and lays in wait for Star get up. Star is up and Rage drops! Star buckles and splits the back of his head on the bottom of the cage. Rage gets hit with a bb in back of his head. He turns to see who shot him and Star leg sweeps him to the cage floor.
Star is up quickly and begins scraping Rage’s against the side of the cage. Rage slips the head lock and whips Star across the cage and just as the midget clown shoot flames at the cage shift from collision as Rage follows with the alvalache. Star tries to show Rage that he too can do that move and whips Rage back across the ring and avalanches Rage. Uh oh, one of the support cables snaps and the one side of the cage drops. The broken cable whips down into the ring and wraps tightly around one of the drunk clown’s neck. Its hard to tell if he is turning blue with all that cake makeup on but he obviously in trouble. Speaking of trouble, Rage is pinned in the bottom corner of the cage and Star is choking him into the cage with his boot.
Rage sneaks in the choice of champions and forearm shivers Star in the jewels. Rage and Star start taking turns ramming each others heads into the side of the cage. Blood is showering down on the midget clowns. Each man is showing signs of the punishment. Rage lifts Star up and does a belly to back suplex on him. Both men land hard on their heads. Neither man is moving and both of their limp bodies show the effects of gravity as they slide down to the lower corner of the cage. Star’s arm looks to be moving. No, check that Rage is attempting to get to his feet. Rage is looking groggy but has the mind to pick Star up. Rage puts Star’s head between his knees and he piledrives Star into the bottom corner of the cage. Rage lifts Star’s hand up and it falls limp to his chest. He is out cold. Rage is the winner. As the cage is being lowered the bb’s are showering in and the midgets are burning each others polyester hair as the scramble to get out of the way of the lowering cage.
Darkness jumps down off of the apron and begins walking towards Desperado. Desperado continues to stand his ground. Darkness is face to face with Desperado. Desperado points to the belt and tells him to take it. Darkness shrugs his shoulders and then bends down to pick it up. Desperado hooks his arms and pedigrees Darkness to the steel ramp. Desperado picks him up and slings him over his shoulder and walks back to the top of the ramp. Desperado moves to the side of the stage just under the titantron, which is lit up with the action. Desperado hoists Darkness up and is going to powerbomb him off of the stage. Holy shit! Desperado jumps too!
Desperado is doing a sitdown powerbomb off of the top of the stage! They are heading straight for a dumpster. They land on the top of the black plastic lid to the green dumpster and they go crashing through from their 20 plus foot drop. There is a loud thud and for a moment there is no signs of life. Then a hand comes out and Desperado pulls him self out of the dumpster. Desperado jumps off of the dumpster and gets into a forklift. Desperado starts the lift up and then raises the blades to about 4 feet. Desperado whips the forklift around and then with the blades he pierces the side of the dumpster and begins lifting it off of the ground. Desperado drives the forklift back up the ramp and to the spot where he had just jumped. Desperado raises the dumpster to full extension on the forklift and then he tilts the blades down and the dumpster falls to the cement. Pieces of concrete spray and sparks fly. UCW officials move in and attempt to call this one before someone is killed.
Desperado forces his way past the UCW crew and just as he reaches the dumpster he gets slammed in the face with the dumpster lid. Desperado is rocked back to his ass and a bloody semi-conscious Darkness emerges out of the battered dumpster and falls to the floor. Darkness stumbles over to Desperado and kicks him square in the teeth. Darkness take a large chunk of metal dumpster, which broke off in the crash, and begins bashing Desperado in the that already tender leg from last weeks show. Desperado turns all business and reaches up and puts the chokehold on Darkness and begins to rise.
Desperado walks Darkness up to the apron and chokeslams him onto the ring steps. The steps bust apart and Desperado takes a section and raises it overhead. Darkness rolls to the side just as Desperado slams the stairs where Darkness’ head was just at. Darkness kicks Desperado in the sore thigh and walks away to get a second wind. Desperado hunts him down as he walks around the ring. Desperado whips him into the barricade. Darkness slumps over the barricade and a fan leans in to pat Desperado on the back. Desperado looks up and sees that the fan is wearing a Shawn Darkness T-shirt so Desperado slams the fans head into Darkness’ face and his nose explodes. I guess Desperado just wanted to introduce the fan to his favorite wrestler?
Desperado hops up onto the barricade and then lifts Darkness up. Desperado is lands a sit-out powerbomb on the edge of the padded barricade! Darkness falls to the floor next to the ring and Desperado leaps off of the barricade and lands the elbow from hell in the sternum of Darkness. Desperado hooks the leg and the referee starts the count. This one is over folks. Desperado barely hung on to that HC title this week. For his first match, this Darkness kid has a lot of damn heart.