Prez Boot: Hey Felicity, how many Darien's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
VP Felicity: Not now Boot, paranoid just hit the pa and the UCW World Champ's heading our way. Boy, that's an awfully cold stare he's giving you, he doesn't seem pleased at all.
Prez Boot: Ooooooooh, RJ's mad at me, booooooo hoooooooo!
VP Felicity: Are you done?
Prez Boot: Yeah, I guess, and here comes the Internet Champ Twist. He doesn't look any more pleased than RJ.
VP Felicity: That's too much ego for one team to have, add Darien and the ring may colapse with overconfidence. Speak of the devil, Darien cautiously walks to the ring. He doesn't seem to want to enter the ring until his tag team partner arrives.
Prez Boot: Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Darien your tag partner is . . . . . . . . . . . ME!
VP Felicity: WHAT? I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! And neither can Darien. Boot takes jis spot in Darien's corner and after much arguing RJ lets Twist begin the match. Tjis is truely a match of the giants.
VP Felicity: Darien starts off with some savage knife edge chops to the chest of Twist. Twist backs into the ropes and Darien clotheslines him to the outside. Darien whips Twist toward the guard rail, but Twist counters sending Darien hard into the guard rail.
VP Felicity: Twist picks Darien up and slides him back into the ring. Twist then proceeds to the top rope and lands an elbow drop. Twist covers, 1 . . . 2 . . . way too soon as Darien kicks out. Twist picks Darien back up and whips him into the corner. Twist backs up and appears as if he's going to attempt a big splash.
VP Felicity: Oh, but RJ slaps Twist on the back and tags himself in. Twist turns around and gets in RJ's face. The two exchange obscenities giving Darien enough time to crawl to his corner. Boot's reaching for the tag, Darien reaches, but Boot pulls his hand back and begins to tie his boots again. They must have come loose or something.
VP Felicity: Darien sure looks pissed. He turns around and attacks RJ and Twist from behind. The duo retaliate with devastating lefts and rights. They whip Darien into the ropes and Twist grabs Darien and rotates him upside down. RJ grabs his legs, OH MY GOD, its a spike tombstone piledriver!!
VP Felicity: RJ covers, 1 . . 2 . . Twist hauls him off and covers, 1 . . 2 . . and RJ breaks the pin. Twist gets up and pushes RJ, he pushes back. And it comes to blows, the referee tries to separate the two but gets clocked by a big right hand courtesy of Bad Karma. Twist throws RJ outside the ring and proceeds to grab a steel chair.
VP Felicity: Twist rears back and nails RJ in the back. Twist rears back again but RJ kicks him in the gut and drop kicks the chair into Twist face. Meanwhile, in the ring Darien is trying to get to his feet, what's Boot doing? He's entering the ring and approaching Darien. He's helping Darien to his feet.
VP Felicity: Darien looks up and see's Prez Boot next to him, it's a stare down. Darien heads the thud of a steel chair in the background and glances to his right. Before he knows it Boot wraps his arms around him and takes him down with a belly to belly suplex.
VP Felicity: Prez Boot's attacking his partner, can't say I'm surprised. Rob was the only wrestler Boot's ever tagged with, nobody else could earn his respect, and if you don't have Boots respect you will know it.
VP Felicity: Boot picks Darien up and kicks him in the gut. Boot wipes Darien out with a running powerbomb. And Boot's leaving the ring and returning to the broadcast table. Boot, what are you doing?
Prez Boot: Like I said, you don't cross the boss. Looks like RJ and Twist have run out of steam. They've stopped fighting and roll back into the ring. They see Darien unconscious.
VP Felicity: Twist gestures for RJ to make the pin attempt. But as soon as RJ turns to make the cover Twist grabs him by the head and plants an inverted ddt. Twist hooks the leg of Darien. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3. Twist gets up and leaves the arena as RJ and Darien slowly get to their feet.
Prez Boot: RJ and Darien are up, RJ knocks down Darien with a drop kick, he goes to the top rope. And RJ lands a moonsault. He covers Darien and orders the referee to count. The referee reluctantly does, 1 . . . 2 . . . 3. And RJ gets up and heads backstage in a big hurry.
VP Felicity: Maybe he's looking for Twist. After that cheap shot who wouldn't? We'll be right back after these messages from Gatorade.
Prez Boot: Welcome back everyone, were about to start a match between two guys we haven't seen in action thus far, Wolf and Judas Skye. Wolf appears at the entrance as Limp Bizkit plays.
VP Felicity: HE's a big one isn't he? We sure do have a lot of big guys around here. We need to hire some more average sized guys, don't you think?
Prez Boot: Yeah, I think you're right. Well, Wolf's in the ring and Skye's music begins to play . . . . . . . . . . . . . Well, where's Judas? Hold on, what's that on the jumbotron?
VP Felicity: It's video footage of the locker room, and there's Judas Skye lying unconscious. He's bleeding and there's a cracked off kendo stick next to him. And there's something written on his chest, "Fear Hells Fire".
Prez Boot: Judas Skye has been taken out and the referee is counting him out. 8 . . . 9 . . . and he calls for the bell. Wolf has won his debut match without actually wrestling anyone, what a jip!
On screen is a blurred image that was shot from some fans camcorder. We see several shots or UCW wrestlers arriving and entering the arena. And we see several young wrestling fans lined up, bying t-shirts, taking photos, holding signs and doing what fans do. We hear some hick fan with a heavy southern accent speak.
Fan: Yee-haw, I'm going to sneak in this camera and sell the video on ebay. This is sweet ... all of my favorites should be here tonight. We'll see Shadow, and Crazed Killer, and the Siemas ... and hopefully I'll catch a glimpse of Felicity ... or even Lilith ... yes sir, this will be quite the night. I been recycling old cans for God knows how long to buy this ticket to see this ... now here I am. Hey, what's that?
The video focuses on what looks to be some homeless guy wandering around. He is dresses in a trench coat and hat, that covers a clear view of his face. He looks around and stops in front of Prez Boots parking space and looks at Boot's rental car.
???: A wrestling event? Why was I compelled to come here? What is UCW ... and who is ... Boot? This seems strange. Maybe this Boot guy will have some sort of answers for me.
The homeless person looks into the car. Surprisingly the door is not locked and he climbs in. After apparantly finding nothing of signifigance in the car he gets out. The a punk of bikers ride up to the car on their bikes. The Biker leader steps off his bike and appraoched the mystery person.
Biker: Hey you! Are you that Prez Boot? We were sent here by this Shadow guy, and told to talk to him.
???: What? No, I'm not. You must be mistaken.
Biker: Now what are you doing getting out of his car then if you are not him? So here is the message we were given ...
The biker then punches the guy, knocking him down, and causing the guy to hit his head off the side of the car. The biker turns to his stooges and laughs.
Biker: Ha! I thought this Boot guy would be tougher than this!
Suddenly, the homeless person jumps up and now looks a lot less confused. He grabs the biker by the back of the head and pulls him back and looks into his face.
???: Part of me thinks that I should thank you for this ... so I guess I'll just have to make this quick.
Then the mystery man knocks the biker out with a Scorpion Death Drop. He gets back to his feet and looks at the other two bikers who are approaching him.
???: Now I don't owe you two anything ... just think about that.
The bikers just look at each other, then they jump back on their bikes to take off. The mystery man just stands there then begins to walk away. We hear the hick fan talking again ...
Fan: That was awesome! Who was that? It looked almost like ... but it couldn't be. Let me just get a close up of his face ...
Security: Hey you! What are you doing trying to sneak that camera in?
Fan: Aw, dang!
The screen then goes snowy ... fade out.
Felicity: Welcome back to Fury everyone. That was some strange ... but oddly familar footage that was just handed to us by the guys in security ... I don't want it means, but it sure was a thing to see. But any way, what we had scheduled here tonight was going to be a handicap tag team title match, featuring our Tag Champs, the Crazed Killer and Shadow versus Pyromaniac, but a shocking development during our comercial break puts these plans into question.
Boot: This may be graphic footage ... but hell, we are on Fox, and they'll show anything, so lets go to the clip.
F: Here is our camera in Crazed Killer's dressing room. I guess the mysterious Shadow hasn't showed up yet at this point.
B: We see the Crazed Killer preparing for the match, as best he can. By putting a bunch of weapons into a cart. There is a knocking at CK's door. I guess CK thinks it is Shadow and tells him to wait.
F: But the knocking don't stop. A pissed of CK gets up to answer ... the out of no where, a huge fireball is thrown into his face. Then CK goes down blinded, and in walks Pyromaniac with a flaming chair in hand, and cracks CK over the head with it.
B: The Crazed Killer, while still wanting to fight, is being attended to and being advised not to. He is sure showing the UCW spirit, but I'm afraid we will have to cancel ...
F: Wait! An explosion on the stage area ... why, it's Pyro. What does he want? Why does he have that microphone? Why is he walking towards the ring?
B: Let's listen ...
Pyromaniac: Shadow and Crazed Killer, how stupid do you two take me for? You really think I'd ask for a two on one match with the odds not in my favor without a plan? I don't think so! You guys may have taken out Patch, so now I took out one of you! I signed the contract and I am promised a no-DQ match for the tag team titles ... so somebody get out here right now, and defend those tag belts or I will win them by default.
B: What? Can he do that? Is that allowed?
F: Looks like he can. Now what will happen?
B: Awake by Godsmack plays over the sound system. A pissed off looking Shadow emerges from the curtain and rushes to the ring. He is followed by his valet ... or whatever you want to call her, Lilith.
F: Shadow dives into the ring and him and Pyro are trading punches. Now this is what UCW is about, two guys really wanting a piece of each other fighting it out for personal glory.
B: Irish whip by Pyro, and Shadow ducks a clothesline ... bounces off the ropes again and tries a frankensteiner ... but Pyro blocks it into a power bomb! 1 ... 2 ... No! Shadow kicks out. What a mistake by Shadow, nearly cost him the match and the tag titles.
F: This is a smart move by Pyro, getting Shadow off his game plan like this. I bet he is wishing he had Crazed Killer to tag in.
B: Pyro with some elbows to the leg of Shadow, I bet he's setting him up for some submission move. A classic Ric Flair type strategy here. I'm telling you, tonight, Pyro had a plan to win.
F: Pyro with a half crab, but Shadow manages to crawl to the ropes. He is still not quite worn down enough yet.
B: The referee tries to get Pyro to break the hold. Pyro waits out and lets go at the four count ... ain't seen that since Bret Hart retired.
F: Pyro pulls Shadow out to the middle of the ring by the foot. Shadow is standing ... enzeguri kick to the back of the head.
B: That reminds me of ...
F: Don't you dare mention Owen Hart!
B: I wasn't going to!
F: Then what were you going to say?
B: I'm not going to tell you now.
F: I'm sure you wouldn't. Now theres Shadow with a flury of punches to Pyro. Shadow is just gone wild now. The referee tries to pull him off but Shadow shoves him to the ground.
B: Now that is just uncalled for. The referee grabs the arm of Shadow ... and Shadow gets up. He is facing the referee ... I think he is going to nail him, but you can't win a match with the referee knocked out.
F: Pyro grabs Shadow's waist ... and a painful looking german suplex ... and another one ... and another. That is three german suplexes! Pyro just might have this match won ... but no cover, he grabs Shadow's leg ... and there is the Snap, Crackle, Pop! Pyro is going to try win by submission!
B: Shadow has got to be in serious pain. The referee is checking on him to see if Shadow wants to give up.
F: Lilith is in the ring ... I guess she is going to try save her man. A rake to the eyes my Lilith to make Pyro release the hold!
B: Pyro gets up and faces to Lilith. I think she is going to get it! But Lilith threw her riding crop behind Pyro to Shadow. I think I know where this is going.
F: I think you are right. Pyro grabs Lilith and looks to be about to give her a DDT ... but Shadow with a low blow from behind with the riding crop!
B: Pyro doubles over ... and here comes Shadow ... Deaths Descent! 1 ... 2 ... 3! Shadow saves the tag team titles ... but he sure had one hell of a challenge from Pyro. Pyro should not be discouraged, better luck to him next time ... but we'll be right back to see who Shadow and hopefully Crazed Killer will be defending from next.
Felicity: Welcome back. What match we just had right here folks. And now coming up we will be deciding who the #1 contenders to those tag titles that were just defended will be.
Boot: All this tag team wrestling here tonight. It sure reminds me of the good times ... when ... you know.
F: Yeah, I know. But now coming up are two teams who are keeping that spirit alive. First coming out to ... you guessed it ... Limp Biskits My Generation ... we have the Siema Brother. Johnny and Thommy Siema.
B: Two fans of the flaming hell in a cell match apparantly ... maybe some day, they will get one. Keep that dream alive boys!
F: Now coming down to ... not Limp Biskit's My Generation, which is what we will soon have to start saying in this fed, but actually Stupify by Disturbed. Here are Dude and the Canadian Bad Ass.
B: The what?
F: I am not saying that again.
B: This match is starting quick. Both these teams are hoping to get that shot at CK and Shadow and will do what they can to get them.
F: In the ring now are CBA and Thommy. CBA rushes in with a big boot, but Thommy duck and gets CBA with a low blow ... this early in the match? They must be calling up all stops.
B: In comes Dude, this type of wrestling isn't going to be stood for here in this match. Now here comes Johnny, both teams are face to face giving each other a good talking to.
F: Shoves are being traded ... now some punches, has the referee lost control already? Wait, down the aisle ... who is that? Is that Star King and Crazy Ivan?
B: What are they doing here? I though they were gone from UCW. And isn't Star King walking kind of funny?
F: Well they are in the ring ... and Star attacks Johnny Siema and Ivan attacks CBA! The referee is calling for the bell ... this mach has been called a No Contest.
B: Now Thommy and Dude are saving their partners. Why did Star and Ivan run into a ring with four people in it ... oh well, brains was never their strong suits. Breathing to much C4 I guess.
F: Major beat down on Star and Ivan ... wow! Siema Pain on Star King! Stupifier on Crazy Ivan. Looks like retribution is sweet ... but what about monday? Who will be the #1 contenders?
B: I know, how about a rematch on Monday with the Siemas and Dude and CBA ... in a cage to keep out any interference! Yes, I am a genius!
F: Both teams are leaving, and Star and Ivan are left in the ring. We are out of matches, but we still have some air to fill cause that last match was so quick. What will happen after the comercial?
F: We are back, but really I don't know what is happening right now. All I know is, we are out of scheduled matches, and a pissed off Star King and Crazy Ivan are in the ring. Star King is armed with his famous chair, and Ivan has a table set up in the corner.
B: I guess they want to get out their sour grapes, plus they ruined the #1 Contender match between the Siemas and Dude and CBA, and now they have a mike.
Star King: All of you be quiet! Who do you think you are? Since I've gotten here all I've gotten is crap from every one. Well I am sick of it! We should have been the tag champs, and we should have been in this match to decide #1 contenders, we are the best team in UCW!
F: That is debateable. Sure these guys were an up and coming team, but they still had a lot to learn about wrestling.
B: But they would not take coaching from any body, so they lost their matches. That is just the way it works in this business.
Ivan: We were the best! Better than everyone! Better than the Steiners ...
B: Now that is a hard claim to make ...
Ivan: ... better than the Road Warriors ...
B: Easier said than done ...
Ivan: ... better than the Hart Foundation ...
B: Now let's be serious ...
Ivan: ... and definatly better than the Newfie Screech!
F: What?
B: Alright, that does it!
F: What? What are you talking about? Boot! Sit down! Good lord, Boot just threw off his head set and is getting into the ring. Looks like we are getting double duty of Boot tonight. The fans love it, but I don't know what to think. Boot is supposed the be retired from the sport ... but I guess you got to do what you got to do. He is in the ring facing these two disgruntled employees ...
B: Ok guys, what is it you want to prove? You guys have had your chances in UCW, you were never able to capitalize, but you were always bitching blaming everyone but yourselves. Now what is it you want? Why can't you just leave the departed out of this?
Star: We'll do as we please Prez man! If it comes to it, we just may have to beat your washed up ass to. If by yourself or if you can get some one from the back to team with you. But I just don't see that happening. Your buddy the Crazed Killer is hurt, I don't see guys like Shadow or RJ Souza wanting to come out to your aid. I doubt Darien will return the favor of what happened to him tonight ... so what you gonna do Boot? What you gonna do?
F: Boot, you don't have to prove anything to these guys. Your retired, you lived your glory days ... you don't need this ... what the? What is that music ... is that Trust by Megadeath? Now who is doing this? This is just tastless. I only know one guy who came out to this song ... and I don't appreciate this.
F: Oh great, it's that guy, that guy in the trench coat who has been wandering around as of late. This is no time for such crap, now he's taking the coat off ... this mockery is just an insult to ... to ... what the ...
F: If that ain't really him, he's done his homework! But it can't be, the island, there was nothing left ... not a thing. But it really does look like him ... it has to be him. I can't believe this ... neither can these fans. As he is walking down the aisle the fans are in silence until he gets close and they get a look at him, then they cheer wildy to see that he is back. I can't believe it, I don't know how, but Rob Grayson is back!
F: He is climbing into the ring. Boot is just shocked. He just stares at his old tag team partner who he thought was gone forever. I don't think Star King and Crazy Ivan know what to think either. Him and Boot look at each other, first Boot is just shocked, but now ... him and Rob nail SK and Ivan! A pair of irish whips ... Rob rushes at SK and clotheslines him over the ropes to the outside. Here comes Ivan to Boot, Boot picks him up ... here comes Rob ... SCREECH IN! Rob and Boot just Screeched in Crazy Ivan! Boot covers ... 1 ... 2 ... 3! Yes! The Newfie Screech are back!
F: Boot gets up, Rob just stands there. Boot is still in shock. He keeps staring ... but here comes Star King with his chair! He swings at Rob, and a miss ... Rob with a Van-Grayson-ator kicking the chair in his face and knocking Star King out! Now Boot picks up Star King, holds him in front of him, and spears him through the table Rhino style! Boot has the mike ...
B: By the way Star King ... YOOOOOOOUUUURRRRRR'EEEEE FIIIIIIIIIRED!!!!!!
F: Boot turns to Rob to laugh ... but wait ... he's gone. Where'd he go? Rob Grayson just disappeared as quick as he showed up ... was it a ghost, did this really happen. I don't know what to think ... tune in Monday!