Boot: Welcome everyone to UCW Fury. I'm Boot, and substituting for the vacationing VP Felicity is a very special guest star. It is indeed an honor to be doing commentary with this man, ladies and gentlemen ... Rudy from Survivor! How about a Rudyism, Rudy from Survivor?
Rudy from Survivor: Give me that 100 bucks for being here first.
B: Sure, here you go!
Rudy from Survivor: I hate queers!
B: Rudy from Survivor every body!
Rudy: Can we get on with this? I've got more importnant shows to be on than this. Why am I here any way?
B: Cause Jenna says no. She wouldn't agree to wear that pink bikini all the show. Our other choice was ... Sean ... *shudders*
Rudy: Ok, first coming out is this guy ... Hari-Kari? Looks like some Jap ... just like those I killed with my bare hands in WW2. Look at that video he has of Japanese fighters crashing into our battle ships. You want to know how many of those I shot down in my day?
B: That's great Rudy, and his opponent, from the Crazed Lab of PCW, here is Cycho.
Rudy: Where? What's with these guys? In my day we had Ed "Strangler" Lewis, Frank Gotch, George Hackenschmidt ... real men, not these mental patients and such.
B: This is 2001 Rudy. It's a different era. We expect some fast paced action from these two.
Rudy: There goes the bell, now we can get this over with and I can get the hell out of here. They lock up, now theres Cycho with Kari in a headlock.
B: Kair whips Cycho into the ropes. Cycho off the ropes and there is Kair with a leap frog. Cycho bounces off again, and there is a Thesz Press atempt by Kari, but Cycho catches him and drops him throat first on the ropes.
Rudy: Quick pin by Cycho. 1 ... 2 ... but Kari is up. In my day, when we put a Japanese person down, he stayed down!
B: Well this is UCW, the action here is non-stop. Cycho picks Kari up and shoves him into the corner. Cycho is choking Hari-Kari.
Rudy: Now this brings back memories.
B: World War 2?
Rudy: Nope, Kelly and Susan.
B: I had to ask. The referee is trying to break up the choke hold. But Cycho won't listen, the referee pulls him off ...
Rudy: Hey! Hari-Kari with a cheap shot puch to Cycho ... just like Pearl Harbour!
B: Kari with a quick DDT. Cycho is down. Now Kari is climbing to the top ... and he connects with the suicide drop! 1 ... 2 ... 3! Hari-Kari with the quick win over Cycho.
Rudy: It's over? I can go home?
B: Not quite. We still have two more matches to go, we'll be right back.
Rudy: Here is a match I was looking foward to. This guy, American Psycho, I hope to see some sort of role model to the youth of America, something wrestling is lacking today.
Boot: I really don't know if we'll see that from him Rudy. But here come the champions Pyromaniac and Darien. Two of the top superstars of UCW. This will be the first title defense from these two since winning the titles. Can you tell the people who they won the titles from Rudy?
Rudy: I don't know!
B: It was Crazed Killer and Shadow. Now CK is back and with a different partner in the American Psycho, who not a lot is known about yet.
Rudy: Here they come now ... what the hell? What's with the guy with the skull face whos coming out with that leather jacket guy?
B: That is the American Psycho Rudy.
Rudy: What? That's him? For the love of ...
B: CK and AP run into the ring and are met by Darien and Pyro. Punches are being thrown wildly.
Rudy: CK with a clothesline to Darien, knocking him to the outside. and Pyro with a kick to Psycho knocking him outside ... Pyro and CK both step backwards and bump into each other.
B: Pyro with a back kick ... low blow on CK! Mostly impulse from Pyro.
Rudy: The other two are now standing on the aprons. Good to see some order happening in here.
B: Pyro is tagging in the big man Darien. Darien lumbers over to CK and backs him into the corner. Usually CK is the one doing this to his opponents.
Rudy: Darien with several huge elbows to the head of CK, but here comes AP and nails Darien with a chop block to the knee which brings Darien down to one knee.
B: Here comes Pyro again and him and American Psycho are exchanging punches. The referee is trying to get these two back to their corners, but now CK takes advantage of the wounded Darien. CK with punches to the head of Darien.
Rudy: Darien is fighitng back, this kid is a fighter. But CK and Psycho are picking these guys off like we did to that other Tribe.
B: Good strategy. The referee is escorting out American Psycho, but behind him Pyro jump on CK. Now another double team is happening. Now the referee is trying to get Pyro back to the out side.
Rudy: That skull guy is out side getting a chair. The referee is turned to Pyro who is trying to get back in but is blocked ... and American Psycho nails Darien in the head with that chair. Now Darien is down and CK covers. 1 ... 2 ... no, Pyro stops the count!
B: CK tags in American Psycho who works on Darien. He immediatly slaps Darien into a sharpshooter!
Rudy: Here comes Pyro, trying to break it up again, but CK stops him. CK and Pyro brawl to the outside.
B: Darien is not giving up. He waits in pain not willing to give up glory of being UCW tag champ. I've had my arguements with Darien, but I sure got to say ... wait a minute ... this is the guy that has been ragging on me since he debuted ... RING THE DAM BELL!
Rudy: Huh? What are you doing?
B: Ladies and gentlemen ... we have new tag team champions! The Black Label Society! We'll be right back!
Rudy: Boot, I don't know what kind of ship your running here, but what you did to that Darien guy ...
B: How about your Alliance on the island?
Rudy: ... was totally fair. Good job!
B: I thought so, but now is time for our main event. World Champion RJ Souza will be defending his belt against UCW newcomer and winner of the first ever UCW Hardcore challenge Angel of Death.
Rudy: Lets go back stage, to get a quick word with Angel of Death about his upcoming challenge.
B: There is his locker room door now. Lets wait for Angel of Death to come out. The door opens now ...
Rudy: Wait a minute, that ain't Angel of Death, that is that RJ guy. What is he doing coming out of that dressing room?
B: Lets see what he got to say.
RJ: This is the best UCW has to offer? I am the world champion of UCW, and I fight who I want when I want to ... and this ... this wasn't even worth my time being here tonight. So I'm taking my night off and hitting the town, let me know when we have some real wrestlers here. Lets go ...
Camera fades and a female is seen following RJ, camera focuses in time to see a knocked out Angel of Death on the ground and the words "Property of RJ Souza" painted on the walls.
B: Who was that with RJ? We'll have to find out after cause we are out of time!
Rudy: Does this mean I get to go home now?
B: Yes it does!
Rudy: Well god bye every body!