K: Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls. and all of you great wrestling fans..welcome to UCW Thursday Fury! This is Korbin alongside Marv. What a great night we have for you!
M: Indeeeed. Tonight Shadow will defend UCW World Title for the first time against the young and determined Hari-Kari. Also, the Hardcore Champion Pyromaniac will be fighting in a street fight against a sbstituting Gay Bandit!! This is not just a regular street fight, it is also Pyromaniac's last fight in UCW. We will miss him. To start the night off, Blade will face Hanlon.
K: This is going to be a great match itself. Blade defeated RJ Souza in Mayham which was a big surprise and he looks stronger than ever. And here he is. The young Canadian slides under the bottom rope and the bell rings. The match is underway.
M: Blade is down and Hanlon moves to sit on his back. It looks like Hanlon is trying to finish this match way early by going for his submission finisher, Hanlon's Razor.
K: Blade gets up quickly and throws Hanlon off his back before he manages to do anything. As Marv said it, it is way early. You know Marv, it is always harder for smaller wrestlers.
M: I agree, however Hanlon is not that small at 5'10, but he looks much smaller with so many big guys in our federation. Hanlon gets up and he is met by a kitchen sink from Blade. He is down again and Blade stomp him.
K: Blade continues the punishment by picking Hanlon up and Irish whipping him to the ropes. Hanlon bounces from the ropes and is met by a Tilt a Whirl Sideslam! Blade goes for a cover...this could be it. 1 ... 2 .. Hanlon gets his shoulders up just in time.
M: Blade does not waste anytime. He picks Hanlon once again and this time he whips him to the turnbuckle. And here he comes with hard chops to Hanlon's chest! And each time the crowd yells "Whooooooo!"
K: SHUT UP! I HATE THAT! Err...excuse me folks.
M: It is ok Korbin. Blade now moves back a little and rushes to Hanlon who is still laying on the turnbuckle. But Hanlon quickly moves out of the way at the last moment an Blade's body clashes with the turnbuckles. Blade backs out and Hanlon snicks behind and takes him down with a Running Bulldog.
K: Blade is down and Hanlon climbs the ropes. It looks like he is going for a a high risk maneuver. But wait! Blade lunges at the ropes and knocks Blade right down on his . . . . . . manhood.
M: That must hurt. Blade grabs Hanlon's throat and throws him off the turnbuckle. Hanlon hits the referee! Will he have the same faith from his match with Iron Fist?? It looks like it. Both Referee and Hanlon are down, Blade moves to the corner and HERE IT COMES AGAIN... he retrieves a small chain that was hidden behind one of the turnbuckles...
K: This match looks like a re-run of our other matches. The similar chain helped Blade defeat Bad Karma. Blade wrapps the chain around his fist and is waiting for Hanlon to get up. Hanlon is slowly getting up on his legs. He is up now, he turns and here comes Blade... BUT WAIT! Hanlon quickly dodges and gets Blade in small package. Referee is on his knees and can see this now...he starts the count 1 ... 2 ... 3!
M: What a quick comeback! Blade had the match in control but at end Hanlon got the victory and that is all that counts! Don't go anywhere, there is much more. We will be back after these messages!
K: Welcome back to Fury everybody. And what we have next. This is a very special moment for UCW, as one of it's first ever stars will be wrestling his last ever match, and defending his UCW Hardcore title, against the Gay Bandit, who is subbing for RJ Souza.
M: What?
K: You know what I meant! Sick pervert! Our two wrestlers are facing off in the alley, even UCW President Rob Grayson has come out for this special occasion.
M: This could get very emotional here folks. The bell rings, and Pyro and Bandit go to shake hands.
K: They shake ... and the referee calls for the bell again? What just happened?
M: You can't tell? Pyromaniac just submitted in 0:02 to the Handshake of Doom! And now GanyBandit is the new Hardcore Champion.
K: Pyro seems to be protesting to Rob. Why am I thinking I am in Montreal 1997?
M: I think Pyro is going to take a punch at Rob. Rob blocks him though and counters with punches of his own. Pyro reels back to a near by dumpster.
K: Rob hauls back, spits into his hand, and nails Pyro with a hard right that sends him into the dumpster. Rob then pushes the dumpster out to the road, and the top of the hill.
Rob: In UCW, this is how we repay ingratitude. Are you having fun yet?
K: Rob then pushes the dumpster and it wheels down the hill. Now Pyromaniac will never be mentioned again. Now on to our next match.
K: In the words of Johnny Carson, we are back. Now it is time for our next match, it will be SHadow defending his UCW World Title for the first time against Hari-Kari, who as been well deserving of a title shot for a while now.
M: Both are waiting in the ring now. Introductions have been made and there goes the bell. Hari-Kari catches Shadow by suprise with a stiff kick to the head.
K: Shadow looks shocked by it, but before he can recover HK grabs him and nails him with a quick Michonoku driver. HK is using a smart strategy, knowing Shadow has still got to be hurting after his long match with RJ Souza at Spite.
M: Shadow is layed out, this can be HK's chance. But he isn't going for the cover. He is climbing to the top Rope. Looks like he wants to try win with the Suicide dive.
K: HK flies, and at the last second Shadow rolls out of the way, and HK crashes face first into the mat. Now HK is the one who is stunned.
M: HK is barely struggling to his feet, but before he gets the chance, Shadow sets him up and nails him with the Death's Descent. Shadow covers 1 ... 2 ... 3! A successful title defense from Shadow.
K: A nice try for Hari-Kari, we know he will get another shot in the future. Hope he knows what to expect from Shadow next time.
M: We'll see you in a week.