K: Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls. and all of you great wrestling fans ... welcome to UCW Thursday ...
M: Friday!
K: ... Friday Fury! Oh right, we are in the old ECW timeslot. I hope it works better for us than it did for them.
M: We can only hope Korbin, but what a way we plan to kick off this weeks Fury, we have up and comer in UCW, the Infernal Freak, against another rising UCW star in the Temptress.
K: Here comes the Infernal Freak now. Coming out to "Blind" by Korn. Infernal Freak has showed a lot of heart here in UCW, something that should take him places I think.
M: I agree, and here comes somebody else who is expected to go places in UCW. Coming out to "Temptations", by Destiny's Child, here is the Temptress.
K: Both are in the ring, and there goes the bell. While seeing these two face off, the size advantage of Infernal Freak sure is obvious. IF standing at 6'7" while Temptress is standing only at 5'7". Of course I'm sure IF has taken a hint from Temptress' past opponents and knows not to take her for granted.
M: They attempt to lock up, but the 300 pound IF just shoves the mere 130 pound Temptress to the ground. IF is keeping his cool, and still taking her seriously, IF has come ready to know what he has to do.
K: They try to lock up again, but then the quicker Temptress escapes and grabs IF with a side headlock. Then IF throws Temptress into the ropes and attempts a big boot, but Temptress ducks, and comes off the other ropes and dropkicks IF in the knee. That took the bigger man off his feet.
M: We talk about Infernal Freak's game plan, but we have to know, Temptress is never without one either. She has proven she knows what it takes to beat the many bigger men here in UCW.
K: Temptress grabs the knee of the fallen Infernal Freak, and slams it onto the mat. The again, a nice strategy. Now Temptress is climbing to the top rope, and she flies off with a moonsault. A quick cover, 1 ... 2 ... no, only a two count, as IF shoves Temptress off of his body. Now why would he do that?
M: I guess he wants to win the match Korbin.
K: I guess ... but now Temptress with a snapmare on IF. Then a kick to the back. Temptress is ready to fight here tonight. She then follows up with a Code Red Armbar.
M: She applies pressure to the arm of IF, and IF tries to get to the ropes. But he is positioned in the middle of the ring, so it doesn't look like he is going to make it. It looks like his only choice is to tap out.
K: No it isn't, IF struggles to his feet, and now in a display of power lifts up Temptress who is still holding on, and slams her back first onto the mat. He simply just powered out of that submission move, and now has regained an advantage.
M: He goes for a cover, but only a two count, much to the shock of IF. Infernal Freak then pick her up again and then puts her back down with a full nelson slam. Another cover, and another two count.
K: IF then picks her up again, and Temptress is trying to fight back, but her shots are not doing much good against IF. Temptress seems exhausted while IF is on a second wind or something.
M: Infernal Freak shoves her to the corner, and is choking her with his boot. Looks like IF is going to wear Temptress down some more. Temptress is struggling, but the power of Inferanl Freak is now to much for her.
K: Infernal Freak with a stiff elbow shot to the head of Temptress. Well, he sure isn't holding back because of Temptress being a woman. He picks her up and props her in the corner and then nails another one. Temptress falls down with a sick thud. She seems to be only dead weight now.
M: Infernal Freak then picks up Temptress and props her on the top rope. It looks like IF is going to try finish her off. He climbs to the top rope also.
K: Temptress tries punching IF in the stomach. but to no effect. IF with several shots to the back of Temptress to wear her down, and now he positions her for a top rope power bomb. This does not look good for Temptress.
M: Infernal Freak picks her up, but then out of no where, Temptress counters in mid air, and reverses into a mid air huracanrana, and IF crashes head fisrt into the mat.
K: Temptress manages to get one arm over IF, and the referee is counting ... 1 ... 2 ...3! Temptress pulls out the win from no where. What a match this was. IF put in a good effort also, nothing to be ashamed of, that is for dam sure. We'll be right back.
K : Ladies and gentleman welcome back to UCW Friday Fury! It is time to decide who will hold the second biggest UCW title ... The Internet Championship! Will the Internet Champion Crazed Killer defend his title once more or will the challenger Blade take the belt home?
M: Both Crazed Killer and Blade have made their entrances are ready. The bell rings and the match is underway.
K : Blade and Crazed Killer lock up. Blade quickly gets CK in a headlock. CK counters by shoving blade to the rope. He gets himself out of the headlock and Irish Whips Blade to opposite ropes.
M: But Blade holds on the ropes. CK charges at him but Blade quickly brings him down with a big boot!
K : . Blade moves down on CK and gets him into a chin lock. This is a good strategy for Blade. He is not wasting anytime and now he is trying to wear down the champ.
M : It is still very early however. CK doesn't stay down for long. He is on his feet now and I am sure Blade won't take those elbows to stomach for long.
K : Blade finally releases CK, but he does not waste anytime by throwing a right arm on CK's jaw! I don't think Blade is going to let CK take control of the match no matter what. He is determined to win that Title.
M : Blade continues with a serious of right and lefts. CK struggles back to the ropes. Blade grabs him and Irish Whips him to opposite ropes ... but wait! CK counters and Irish Whips Blade instead.
K : Ropes throw Blade back toward CK, Blade swings a punch wildly, but CK dodges and takes him down with a counter DDT!!
M: It's just like that folks, couple of moves and you are back in the match. CK Irish Whips Blade ONCE MORE and . . . . what a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker!!
K : Oh...my...God. That was pretty impressive! In my years of professional wrestling, I have never seen such a move with a 6'8 opponent. You got to give it to CK, folks.
M : Why do I think I hear some fat guy with who wears a black hat? But I have to agree that this match is EXTREEMEE! CK picks Blade and Irish Whips him once again, but this time to the turnbuckles! I think he is gonna go for Final Breath! HE IS ONCE SECOND AWAY... ONE SECOND AWAY...
K : Marv ... please. Oh my...Blade counters with a punch which throws CK back. CK is still on his feet though ... but he is dizzy.
M : Blade is on the top rope, I think he is going to go for a high flying maneuver! He jumps with an attempted Double Axe Handle... CK TRIES TO COUNTER WITH A PUNCH TO STOMACH OF FLYING BLADE... both of them connect, and they are both down! That punch must hurt, but the worse thing for Blade the way he landed on his right foot.
K : The ref starts the count 1..2..3 Blade is starting to move ... 4..5..6 ... Blade manages to his get his arm on CK ...this could be over folks...
M : 1 ... 2 ... CK gets his shoulder up in the last second!! Blade gets on his feet but CK is still down. Blade is struggling to walk. He slowly goes back to the turnbuckles and gets on the top rope ... I think he is going for his Tope Rope Leg Drop ... despite the fact that he might have injured his leg.
K : But Here comes CK! HE quickly gets up and throws his body into the ropes and Blade lands on his ... manhood.
M : That hurts. CK quickly moves to Blade, I think he is going for Final Breath once more ... and he ... succeed! He goes for the cover 1... 2 ... 3
K : Crazed Killer is still the Internet Champion ... but this wasn't easy. What a match.
Marv: Hello all you wrestlholics, we have a great match for you. A triple threat match for the Hardcore Title. And here comes the first challenger Thommy Siemma.
Korbin: Hey Marv, what happened to your leg?
Marv: Oh, I fell down the stairs a couple of days ago, I'll be fine as long as I have this crutch.
Korbin: TS sure looks pumped up for this match Marv, I like his chances of coming out of here the new hardcore champ.
Marv: His time may be now, but I think this man, Niles, may disagree with you. He may be new but that just means he has more to prove. He slides into the ring and Thommy attacks him right away.
Korbin: I guess Tommy doesn't want to wait for the champ. And here he comes!!!!
Marv: KORBIN!!! THAT'S SICK
Korbin: I didn't mean it that way, I meant he's walking down the ramp. The Gay Bandit stops about five feet from the ring and just watches the two challengers duke it out.
Marv: That's actually a very champion like thing to do, maybe he is a deserving champion.
Just then Bandit drops his belt and slowly bends over to pick it up. Several guys in the front row lose their lunch immediately.Korbin: Or, maybe not! TS has Niles in a reverse chin lock and appears to be trying to end this match quickly. But Bandit finally decides to enter the ring and drop kick's TS right in the face.
Marv: Niles scrambles to the corner and Bandit begins to stomp on TS. He takes TS down with a snap mare and climbs the top rope. But TS gets up and delivers a low blow to Bandit.
Korbin: Is Bandits actually smiling? I think he actually enjoyed it. Bandit falls to the mat and TS lands a leg drop. He picks Bandit up but Niles hits him from behind, knocking both TS and Bandit into the corner.
Marv: Niles slides out of the ring and begins tossing assorted weapons inside. I see a trash can, a steel chair, a crutch, a hockey stick, a . . . . .
Korbin: Hey Marv, isn't that your crutch Niles just tossed in the ring?
Marv: Huh? Hey, I need that to walk!
Korbin: And aren't those your glasses?
Marv: Hey, I need those to see!
Korbin: And why do they have your athsma inhaler?
Marv: Hey, I need that to live!
Korbin: Well, aren't you going to get in there and get your stuff back?
Marv: I'll just get them after the match is over. TS grabs a steel chair and begins to wail on Bandit, who just curls up an a ball and screams like a sissy girl.
Korbin: TS just turns away in disgust, but then Bandit grabs a pair of glasses and hits TS in the eye with it. Ha, I don't think those glasses will be helping him see any better.
Marv: They won't be helping me see any better either, they're broken. Well, hopefully my crutch and inhaler will be alright. Niles slides back into the ring and grabs a garbage can.
Korbin: He rears it back to hit Bandit with it but he just ducks and hits Niles in the gut. Niles drops the can which is retrieved by Bandit. He's about to hit Niles with it but TS grabs it. Bandit and TS have a little tug of war match with the can.
Marv: Niles jumps high into the air and drop kicks Bandit in the back of the head, he goes headfirst into the trash can, then the can also hits TS in the face. Niles is searching for another weapon, and he gets . . . . . . Nooooooo!
Korbin: He gets the crutch and takes a batters stance, waiting for someone to get up. Bandit struggles to get to his feet, with TS right behind him. Niles swings the crutch but Bandit ducks.
Marv: And TS gets my crutch right across the face. And it didn't break! Praise the lord!
Korbin: But Niles swings it again nailing TS in the forehead, cracking the crutch into many pieces, man Marv, that thing just shattered, it couldn't have been very safe.
Marv: Yeah, I guess you're right Korbin, hey, look at the bright side, how can they break my inhaler it's made of plastic. TS falls to the mat out cold. Bandit tries to cover but Niles pulls him off.
Korbin: Niles rolls Bandit out of the ring and slides out after him. He rocks the bandit with a series of lefts and rights causing Bandit to fall back against the German announce table.
Marv: Niles tosses the monitors off the table and climbs on top of it. He pulls Bandit up with him and sets him up for a suplex. Is he going to suplex him off the table?
Korbin: No! He sends Bandit crashing through the German announcers table with a brainbuster!! I think he just killed the Gay Bandit! Niles goes for the pin, 1 . . . 2 . . . 3! The winner and new UCW Hardcore Champ is Niles!
Marv: But where's my inhaler, I can't see it in the ring?
Korbin: I think I saw Bandit but it in his back pocket.
Marv: He's wearing a thong, he doesn't have a back pocket!
Korbin: Ohhhhhh, aaaarrrggghhhhh, that's disturbing. Do you want me to ask him to give it back?
Marv: Nah, he can keep it. I have a spare in my car. We'll see you in a week.