Temptress & Blade vs. Infernal Freak & Johnny Siema

Round 2 Lethal Lottery Match

K: Welcome to UCW Friday Fury everybody. And tonight is a very special night. Not only will we be seeing an Internet title defense, and round two of the Lethal Lottery Tournament, we have a special guest commentator.

M: We had Mark Hammil a while back, and in that tradition, tonight here is ... Chewbacca! Say hello to the crowd Chewie.

Chewie: Rooooooaaaaar ...

M: Chewie! This is a family show! Besides, didn't Joel Gertner give that exact same line once?

Chewie: Grooooooowwlllll ...

K: Yeah, it was funny when he did it. But now it just seems wrong. Besides, shouldn't it be illegal to do that to a Bantha? But enough of the introductions. It is time for our first match.

M: Here comes our first team right now. Temptress and Blaze ...

Chewie: Arrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh ...

M: You're right, I'm sorry, I meant Blade. A lot of that going around.

K: Now here are their opponents. Infernal Freak and Johnny Siema. Another team who wants to make it to the end, and get that title shot at UCW: Ultra-Voilence in June. This should be an interesting match. Why don't you tell the fans the stats and history of these wrestlers Chewie?

Chewie: Grooooowwwllll ... rooooooaaaaarrr ... aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh ...

K: Well said. Now there goes the bell. It looks like Temptress and Johnny Siema will be starting out. This should be interesting. Johnny who has recently come back from a serious injury and Temptress who is still making waves in UCW.

M: They attempt a lock up, but then Temptress with a go-behind. Then Johnny with a back elbow stuns the Temptress. Johnny whips Temptress into the ropes, she bounces off, but then surprises Johnny with a head scissors.

K: Johnny was surprised by that. He crawls to the corner and tags in Infernal Freak. A bit of history between these two. IF charges but is caught with a drop toe hold. Temptress goes for a quick side head lock.

M: IF shoves Temptress off and into the corner. The IF charges in with a stiff clothesline. Temptress is hurt by that. He then picks up Temptress in the corner, then nails her with a clubbing forearm shot.

Chewie: Graaaaawwwwlllll ...

M: Yes Chewie, Temptress does need to make it to Blade and make the tag. But right now she is getting beat on in the corner. Here comes Blade now, but the referee is stopping him.

K: Now while the referees back is turned, in comes Johnny and him and IF stomp on Temptress. Why does Blade do this? Don't he know this always happens?

Chewie: Arrrrrrrrrghhhhh ... rawwwwwwrrrllll ... groooooowwlll ...

K: Oh ... I never thought of that. Now it all makes perfect sence. Wow. I now feel like I am a new person.

M: OK, Korbin, have your revelation on your own time, we have a match happening right now. Johnny makes his exit before the referee even notices, and IF now has the limp body of the Temptress and brings her to the middle of the ring. A cocky cover ... 1 ... 2 ... NO! At the last second Blade comes in and stops the count.

K: Now while the referee is trying to get Blade back to the outside, Johnny is undoing the turnbuckle in his corner and exposing the steel underneath. Now this is not good.

M: Infernal Freak picks Temptress up, and notices Johnny motioning to the steel corner. He now goes to slam Temptress face first into the exposed steel.

K: No, right at the last second, Temptress blocked with her foot, and them slams IF face first into the steel. Then wither her last breath, she connects on the stunned IF with an enzeguri kick to the back of the head. Both IF and Temptress are down. Why do people always fall for that with the exposed turnbuckle? That is so stupid.

Chewie: Graaaaawwwwlllll ...

K: That made perfect sense. I never knew that.

M: Geez Korbin, where have you been? Blade and Johnny are reaching to make the tag to their partners. Temptress is crawling to the other side of the ring to Blade, while IF makes the tag to Johnny who was much closer.

Chewie: Roaaaaaarrrr ...

K: Yes Chewie, Temptress makes a leap to her corner and tag the hand of Blade, who is finally in this match. Balde and Johnny meet and are exchanging punches. Blade has got Johnny reeling, then kicks him in the stomach and nails him with a double arm DDT. He goes for a quick cover ... but here comes IF and stops the count with an elbow to the back of the head of Blade. Now Temptress is back in also and the referee is losing control of this match.

M: Temptress with a spinning heel kick to IF that knocks him to the outside. Now Johnny is picking up the stunned body of Blade, then Temptress nails him with a low blow, now Johnny is the one who looks stunned. Then Blade grabs him ... and the Cutter! Blade covers Johnny ... 1 ... 2 ... 3! Blade and Johnny have pulled off this win and make it to the finals. What a match this was.

Winner - Temptress & Blade

Advance to Finals

Boot & Iron Fist vs. Supreme & Geno

UCW Internet Title Match

C : ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!.

M: Welcome back, folks! If you have just joined us, that was Chewbaca ... our guest commenter welcoming you back!

K : Since when did you learned to speak Wookies?

M: Me and Chewie have a great relationship. We were best friends before Han Solo came!! Tell them, Chewie!!

C : ARRRRRRRRRR!!

M : See .... I told you, Since we were kids, we used to play in the forests of uh ... what was it called again, Chewie?

C: EEEEEEERRRRGGG!

M: Oh, yes ... Kashyyyk! So anyways, then I left and Chewie met Han in some cantina.

K: I thought Chewie was an Imperial slave until Solo saved him?

C: UURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

M : Chewie says shut up! You don’t want to mess with the big wookie. Speaking of big ... here in the ring is Boot and the 7’5 500 pound Iron Fist. Their opponents are Supreme and Geno. We all know that Geno and Iron Fist are partners ... Iron being the boss of the two. Do you think a friendship and partnership could be broken tonight? What do you think, Chewie?

C: URRRRRRRRGGGGG ARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

M :Aww ... Chewie says that friends always fight, but they will always be friends. He says that He and Han always fight ... but Han always has a special place in Chewie’s ....

K: Chewie’s heart?

M: No, Chewie’s ass!

K :Hahaha! That tells a lot about their relationship ... err ... wait a minute .. he meant .... EWWWW! I never looked at that way! Lets change the subject ... And here we can hear “Can’t get best of me” by Cypress Hill. It is Supreme! We have learned that he has a badly injured back when he was on the table and Niles dropped his 350 pounds body on him, but he wanted to wrestle tonight.

M: Well, Geno is not here ...

K :ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHH

M: Chewie thinks Geno doesn’t want to fight his boss.

K: Well ... that is certainly an ... excellent ... observation ... Supreme slides into the ring and runs toward the Iron Fist. Iron Fist swings a punch but Supreme uses his size as advantage and dodges. He rushes with a fury of right and lefts to Iron Fist’s stomach. The bell rings.

M : But here comes Boot and spears Supreme from the back. Iron Fist moved out of way just in time. Boot never went outside of the ring, so we don’t know who is the legal man. Fist or Boot?

K: Well, Boot moves out of the ring. That means that Iron Fist is the legal man I guess. Supreme is basically done with that spear to his badly injured back. Iron Fist picks him up ... he raises him above his head and holds him horizontally. He drops Supreme in front of him and raises his right knee to connect with Supreme’s head in mid air as he is dropped!! Kiss of Death!!

C: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

M: I know, Chewie! Supreme’s head bounces off Iron’s knee ... he is knocked down and bleeding. Iron Fist covers him. 1 ... 2 ... 3

K : But look, here is Geno!! He is running toward the ring and he jumps into Iron Fist arms to celebrate with him. I guess he decided to stay with his boss instead of taking a shot at the world title. I bet their talked about Godfather is happy now that his “family” worked things out instead of fighting.

M : I never liked that little man Geno ... he reminds of me Han’s 3rd child from star wars novels, the annoying Anakin Skywalker .... OUCH! Why did you hit me Chewie? I thought you didn’t like Anakin, didn’t he kill you by accident in the books?

C: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR URRRRRRGGGGG!

M: Oh my ... that can’t be true, Chewie ...

K: What is he talking about?

M: He says he doesn’t like me insult Anakin because umm .... Anakin is his son!

K: Oh great ... so when Anakin kills Chewie by mistake , was he supported to say “Anakin, I am your father?” or just ARRRRRRRR ARRRRR ARRRRRRR. Can’t people in Star Wars novels come up with something new?

C: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

M: Well, Chewie said that when he was hiding with Princess Leia in his home planet of Kashyyyk in Grand Admiral Thrawn’ crises ... she was worried about Han and felt depressed. Chewie tried to comfort her and ...

K: I see now! That is why Anakin is the hairiest Solo children! Hahaha ... so didn’t your “friendship” end with Han when he found out?

C: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

M: Chewie says no. Because no matter what happens, Han will still have that very special place in Chewie’s ....

K: Ack. I don’t want to know. We will be back after these messages.

C: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

Winner -- Boot & Iron Fist