F: Welcome to UCW: The Gathering. This is James Fairbanks, and sitting next to me is the ever lovable Jack Creed. How do you do Jack?
C: Shut up Fairbanks.
F: Okily-dokily. What a night we have planned here tonight folks. Tonight we are setting things in motion for there to be a new UCW World Champion crowned, after our last champion Chris Boswell ... retired.
C: Retired? More like ran the f*ck out when he found out what it takes to become a great UCW Champion, which was something he obviosly didn't have.
F: Creed, try to be a little polite here, Chris Boswell has served in UCW for months and he deserves to go out on top ... ah who am I kidding? Well whoever the champion will be after this tournament will sure be someone more worthy of the mantle. I mean even Richard Foxhunt stuck around and defended the belt to Jackal and Jack Heart that time, Boswell couldn't even do that.
C: Well said, but now it should be time for our first match up of the night. "Princes of the Universe" by Queen, our song of the night stops playing and I am sure now our first two teams are itching to make their way out here.
F: Here come our first two now, it is one half of our tag team champions Thug, and his partner who is a newcomer by the name of Big Nasty, who looks to be just that, big and nasty.
C: We don't know a lot about Nasty yet, but being part of the current UCW Tag Team Champions has got to be a big advantage for Thug, showing he will know what it takes to win this type of match up.
F: Now here come our other team, who have got to be a big advantage as well, being the only two people who were lucky enough to be paired with their regular tag team partners. It is the former Internet champion Sean O'Gara and his partner Snake, together known as the Legion.
C: An advantage that could very well bring these two to the top, but it would be interesting if these two end up having to fight it out at the end as well. Snake and Thug look to be starting it out, while O'Gara and Nasty wait on the sidelines waiting to be tagged.
F: Thug and Snake tie up, and the Snake with an arm wrench weakens the tag team champion. But then Thug connects with an elbow to the side of the head of Snake.
C: Thug has Snake stunned and then shoves him to this own corner, where thug then delivers a series of jabs to the body of Snake. Now the referee is in there and breaks this up.
F: But as the referee is pulling Thug away, behind his back Big Nasty is now choking Snake. That ain't right.
C: Well it smart strategy. O'Gara has seen enough of that and is running in to the aid of his partner. Now as the referee turns to stop him, not Thug and Nasty are working another double team on Snake. Now Big Nasty is stepping into the ring and there has been no tag, but the referee was still focused on O'Gara.
F: Another injustice. Thug holds Snake for Nasty to take a cheap shot at him, and then Thug heads to the apron as the referee finally turns his attention back to the legal men, which I guess from the referees point of view is Snake and Big Nasty.
C: Nasty picks Snake up and walks him to the middle of the ring and the drops him with a sidewalk slam. Big Nasty with a cover ... 1 ... 2 ... but Snake kicks out. Nasty didn't like that.
F: Nasty pummels on Snake, and the picks him up and whips him to the ropes, and on the rebound tries to catch Snake with a big boot ... but Snake ducks and runs right past Nasty and rebounds off the other side of the ring and makes a blind tag to Sean. I don't think Nasty has noticed the tag has been made.
C: Now thats not fair.
F: That is perfectly legal Jack. Nasty turns around and then Snakes attempts a flying cross body, but Nasty catches him. He is holding Snake in a very precarious situation right now. But then O'Gara spring boards off the ropes from the outside and the drop kicks Snake in the back and then causes him and Nasty to crash down with Snake on top. The referee makes a count ... 1 ... 2 ... but Big Nasty kicks out.
C: Snake and O'Gara are now both stomping a mud hole in Big Nasty. You call this fair James?
F: Turn around is fairplay I guess, but here comes Thug, and he clubs Snake across the back and now a brawl is breaking out ... and this is only our first match of the night.
C: Thug and Snake are pairing off, and not the two legal men are fighting it out as well. O'Gara tries to keep the much bigger Big Nasty from getting to his feet, but then Nasty with a low blow stops all momentum O'Gara had going for him.
F: Nasty powers O'Gara to the corner, while Thug and Snake are still exchanging punches as well, but then Thug with and eye rake stuns Snake who backs against the ropes.
C: Thug moves in with an attempted clothesline, but then Snake was ready for him and with a back body drop picks Thug up and drops him over the ropes and to the outside.
F: Big Nasty Dives through the ropes and is charging at Snake but Snake drops him with a toe hold and quickly moves in for the sleeper.
C: Uh oh! O'Gara is up on the top turnbuckle and he jumps. He catches Thug with a missle drop kick that sends Thug into the barricade. Thug hits hard with his back and his head whiplashes into the barricade.
F: Snake is really cranking that sleeper and the referee slides in to take a look. Nasty is thrashing his arms but they are slowly beginnig to stop.
C: O'Gara is back up on the apron and climbing the outside of the corner post. He his now on top and waiting in the corner.
F: The referee raises Nasty's arm to take a look and just as it begins to fall Snake releases the hold and rolls away.
C: O'Gara launches and he is coming in hard and fast on Big Nasty......twack.......oh my, what an elbow shot to the back of Nasty's head.
F: O'Gara quickly coils Nasty up in an inside cradle and that is all folks. The Legion wins our first match tonight.
F: Welcome back folks, we are set to begin this round 1 lethal lottery match pitting Ickeez and Desperado against Ice Blade and Duck. The combatants have already entered the ring and the bell sounds beginning the match.
C: Desperado is beginning the match against Duck. The two lock up and Desperado gives Duck a swift kick to the gut followed by a shortarm clothesline. Duck goes down like a ton of bricks.
F: Desperado struts around the ring with an air ofmarrogance allowing Duck to get back to his feet. Duck charges at Desperado who evades the attack and drops him with a drop toe hold. Desperado applies an ankle lock submission maneuver. The match could be over now!!!
C: Ice Blade breaks the hold by dropping an elbow to the back of Desperado's Head. Ickeez jumps into the ring to get a piece of Ice Blade but the ref stopps him. Meanwhile Duck and Ice Blade double up on Desperado with damaging stomps and kicks.
F: Ickeez, realizing he isn't helping the situation wisely returns to the ring apron as does Ice Blade. The referee non the wiser Duck continues his assault by nailing a jaw breaker on Desperado. He then whips Desperado into the corner, mounts the bottom rope, and pummels his adversary with a barrage of punches.
C: But Desperado summons all of his remaining strength to grab Ice Blade and throw him off. Desperado lunges for his own corner and tags in the anxious Ickeez. Duck sees this and scrambles to reach his partner who appears to be tightening the laces on his boots. With all the pent up anger in Ickeez I don't blame either of these men for not wanting to face him.
F: You got that right, Ickeez is a walking time bomb waiting to got off. He takes Duck back to a neutral corner and drops him with a spinebuster. He then blatently chockes duck with the sole of his boot. The referee breaks the hold and explains the rules to the veteran wrestler who plainly knows the rules, he just doesn't care. Ickeez better watch out he doesn't get disqualified.
C: Don't worry, Ickeez know all the tricks of the trade. He knows how to bend the rules and not get caught. Ickeez whips Duck hard into the ropes and he falls over to the mat outside. Ickeez slids outside and slams Ducks head into the guard rail, then the ring post and finally into the steel steps. Duck is busted wide open and appears to be out cold. Ickeez rolls him back into the ring.
F: Ickeez goes for the pim! 1 . . 2 . . but he pulls Ducks shoulds up, he doesn't want the match to end, he wants to inflict more punishment! The sadistic son of a bitch! Ickeez lifts Duck to his feet and kicks him in the side of the knee. He continues to work the knee with kicks, leg locks, and elbows. Duck is in extreme pain. Once again Ickeez lifts Duck to his feet and takes a haymaker swing at him but Duck blocks it and counters with a spear.
C: Ickkez manages to get out of the way but Duck inadvertantly takes out the ref. Ickeez tackles Duck and starts pummeling him. Ice Blade jumps in to attack Ickeez from behind but he gets cut off by Desperado who throws him over the ropes.
F: This is complete chaos! I love it! Desperado takes Ice Blade over to the spanish announcers table and muscles him on top. Desperado sets Ice Blade up and lifts him high in the air. Is he trying to suplex him? No, he drives Ice Blade through the table with a brainbuster!
C: Meanwhile, in the ring Ickeez continues his assault on Duck with a figure four leglock. He's still working that knee mercilessly. I think he's trying to end Duck's carreer. Desperado pick up the dazed Ice Blade and nails him with a steel chair. One after another Desperado nails Ice Blade with chair shot after chair shot. 13 . . . 14 . . . 15 chair shots and counting! Finally after a countless number of blows Ice Blade falls lifeless to the ramp. Desperado drags him by the foot to the backstage area.
F: And back to the two legal wrestlers, Ickeez is looking under the ring for something, but what? A sledgehammer, a trash can? the kitchen sink? What could he have hid away down there? A smile comes over the face of Ickeez as he finds what he was looking for . . . . . . a chain? And a long one at that. Ickeez slides into the ring and rears back to whip Duck with the steel chain
C: Why's Ickeez hesitating? He throws the chain outside the ring and tries to revive the ref. Ickeez covers the unconscious body of Duck as the referee makes the slow count. 1 . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . 3! The winners of this lethal lottery match are Ickeez and Ice Blade. But Ickeez isn't done. He rolls Duck out of the ring, grabs him and the chain and drags both to the Titantron. He ties Ducks hands to the chain, throws the other end over the frame of the giant screen and hoists Duck into the air. F: Now Ickeez pokes his head behind the stage curtain and retrieves a can of green spray paint. And in a final act of humiliation sprays "Laugh at the monkey" across Duck's chest. Ickeez seems proud of himself as he walks back to his locker room. The camera zooms in on the bloody, lifeless body of Duck. And then goes for a close up off the green message on his chest before fading to black and heading backstage for commentary.
Kam/Chris Rage vs Jackal /Boot Fairbanks: We’re back folks with the UCW PPV The Gathering. This Lethal Lottery PPV special has certainly been something hasn’t it Jack? Creed: ZZZZZZZ what what oh yeah really great. Fairbanks: Hmm. Anyway, we’re about ready for our next match so lets hand it over to our announcer. Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a one hour time limit. Making his way to the ring, the UCW Internet champion, representing the Diamond Mine, Kamchatkaberry Ambergrass! Fairbanks: Our reigning Internet champ right here. Announcer: Also making his way to the ring, his tag team partner from England, at 232 pounds, Chris Rage! Creed: Listen to the reception for Rage from this crowd. Announcer: And their opponents. First, making his UCW return, Boot! Creed: Oh look whose back. Announcer: And from Cairo, weighting in at 175 pounds, the Unified World Champion Jackal! Fairbanks: You thought Rage got a reception! Listen to this crowd for Jackal! Well there they all are. Two brand new, first time teams. Creed: Oh its good to be back. Fairbanks: There’s the bell and we’re off! Rage and Boot starting in the ring. Squaring off. They tie up, Rage into a side headlock by Boot, Rage throws him into the ropes and Boot runs into a clothesline on the return. Rage off the ropes himself, Boot rolls over, Rage jumps over, Boot up on his feet swings a clothesline but Rage ducks, spins Boot around and lays into him with right hooks. Creed: Slow down! Fairbanks: Boot now on the ropes getting beat on by Rage. Rage picks him off the ropes and takes him to his corner. Creed: Tag out here’s Kam. Fairbanks: Ambergrass is in and starts with a forearm smash to Boot. Follows with a jab to the ribcage. Whips him into the turnbuckle. He walks up Boot and delivers a Knife-edge chop straight to the chest. Creed: Damn I heard that and felt it. Now Kam takes him out of the turnbuckle. Quick snapmare and into a chinlock on Boot. He’s struggling man. Fairbanks: Jackal wants in I think but the referee restrains him. Kam in the meantime lets go of Boot and drags him into his own corner. Tags out to Rage. They then start to stamp on Boot, double - teaming him. Creed: I love this sport. Fairbanks: I don’t think Boot does at the moment. Now Rage picks up Boot, lifts him by the legs and into a sidewalk slam. He goes for a cover. 1-2-No no good. Rage lifts up Boot by the hair, he straightens him up and hits another knife-edge chop that staggers Boot. Creed: Oh man Boot just eye raked Rage! Fairbanks: Rage off balance, Boot tries to tag out but in comes Kam who bulldogs Boot before he can make the tag. So close. Ref gets rid of Kam but Rage is back up. He gets Boot on his knees then kicks him in the face. Boot is down again. Rage stamps on his chest. This has to be hurting. Creed: Boot is out of practise, what did you expect? Fairbanks: Rage picks up Boot and sets him up for a – Creed: -snap suplex! Fairbanks: Ouch. Up again and another one! And another! Rage tries to cover 1-2 but Jackal is in to break it up! The crowd goes wild! Creed: They want the Jackal! Fairbanks: Jackal back in his corner but - he’s - howling to the fans? Creed: And they howl back! Listen to this place, it’s like the pound! Fairbanks: Meantime, Rage has tagged out once again to Kam. Rage holds up Boot’s arm and Kam kicks him in the armpit. He then grabs Boot by the back of the head and slams back him into the mat. Creed: Listen to the crowd. They’re chanting JACKAL, JACKAL! Fairbanks: I can hardly hear myself! Kam is getting angry by the looks of it! He’s trying to be heard over the crowd, telling them to shut up. Creed: He can try but he’ll fail. Haha this is great! Fairbanks: Kam lefts up Boot once again. He whips him into the ropes and tries to hit him but Boot ducks it, runs off the other ropes and runs back at Kam into a double clothesline! Both men are down! Creed: Ref starts to count. 1,2,3,4,5 - Fairbanks: Both start to move towards their corners. Crowd is chanting again for Jackal. Just a few inches… Creed: Move it Boot! Fairbanks: Closer, closer, Rage is tagged in and – Creed: So does Boot! Jackal is in for the first time! He and Rage run at each other but Jackal knocks him down. Ducks Kam’s shot, hits him once, twice, three times beats him out of the ring over the ropes! Fairbanks: Jackal ducks Rage’s clothesline. Rage turns but Jackal gets him into a body slam. Boot back on his feet. He runs off the opposite rope and hits an elbow drop on Rage. The tide has turned completely! Creed: Waitasec, Kam is in with the – is that – the Internet belt! Fairbanks: Ref doesn’t see it! He’s trying to get Boot out of the ring. Rage and Jackal face each other. Kam is behind Jackal! He swings – Creed: Jackal ducks it! Kam clocks Rage! Kam staggers into the turnbuckle! Jackal sees him! The HFB! The HFB! Fairbanks: Kam is out of this! Jackal covers Rage! The referee sees it! 1-2-3! We have our winners! Creed: Hot damn I love this! Fairbanks: What a match! Jackal and Boot shake hands and leave the ring. Rage is going to be in a rage when he comes to! I need to sit down! We’ll be right back! Winners – Jackal & Boot (Commercial) Jack Heart/Ice Dreamer vs Suicide/Poison Fairbanks: Well we’re back and ready to go with another exciting match here at UCW The Gathering. Lets hand back over to the announcer. Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a one hour time limit. First, making her way to the ring at 120 pounds from Austin Texas, the UCW Womens champion, Poison. Creed: I love that girl. Announcer: And now making his way to the ring from Belfast Northern Ireland, weighting in at 230 pounds, Suicide! Creed: But I don’t like her partner. This guy is nuts. Fairbanks: All teams are randomised Creed. Announcer: And now their opponents. First, making her UCW debut, Ice Dreamer! Creed: Oh, hello. Fairbanks: Give me a break. Announcer: And her tag team partner, he is one half of the World Tag Team Champions- Fairbanks: I know that music, "What a Man" Announcer: -from Pompano Beach Florida and weighting in at 255 pounds, Jack Heart! Creed: Oh boy, Jacks not popular these days. Talk about a hostile crowd. Fairbanks: It’s his own doing. And we’re ready to start but remember, Jack Heart and Poison are friends In the same group the Diamond Mine so there may be a little conflict of interests here. Creed: Jack should act like a gentleman and take a fall to allow Poison through. Fairbanks: Shut up. There’s the bell and off we go Jack Heart and Suicide starting us off. They tie up, Heart gets suicide into a headlock. Suicide trying to get free but can’t. They struggle but Suicide has got Hearts leg, throws him up into the air into a back body drop. Suicide first to his feet. He crosses to Heart, Heart taking blows to the back of the head to keep him down. Suicide drags him over to his own corner but Poison doesn’t seem to want in. Creed: Good girl, she knows whose side she’s on. Fairbanks: Well Suicide gives that up, and instead throws Heart off the ropes and into a back body drop. He’s now off the ropes himself and hits Heart with an elbow drop quick cover 1- no. Suicide tells the referee to count faster. He picks Heart up by the neck and sets him up for a vertical suplex. He tries to execute but Heart won’t move, tries again still no third time yes he’s got it! Creed: Nasty impact. Suicide is in charge here. Now he’s got heart set up for a piledriver that backfires as Heart stands up out of it and sends Suicide into a back body drop. Now Heart turns on Suicide with boots to the face and mid-section. He tags out now to Ice Dreamer whose in for the first time. Heart holds up Suicide and Dreamer dropkicks Suicide in the face. He’s down. Fairbanks: Suicide seems to be getting up to face her but Dreamer cuts him off with another dropkick this time to the knee. I think she’s now trying to, yes she is she’s trying to make Suicide tap out with an ankle lock. Suicide quickly gets to the ropes and as Dreamer releases him Suicide crosses to tag out to Poison. In she comes. Creed: You go girl! Fairbanks: Stop that! Poison catches Dreamer with a hip toss. Dreamers quickly up again. Poison with a cross body tackle. Poison now takes her into the turnbuckle and sets her up for a tornado DDT that she pulls off. Cover 1-2 no go, kick out by Dreamer. Dreamer is now up with a right hook to Poison which sways her. Dreamer now tags out to Heart. Heart in but will he and Poison fight? Creed: No, Suicide is tagged in. Fairbanks: Aww come on this is a joke. Heart and Suicide again. Exchanging blows, Heart with the advantage. Back goes Suicide on the ropes. Heart whips him into the opposite side and catches him with a Kitchen Sink. Dreamer is screaming to get back in. And Heart tells her to shut up. Dreamer’s not too happy over that. Suicide has used the distraction to tag out to Poison who gets in but now Heart has tagged out to Dreamer. In she comes and immediately Poison and Dreamer are at each other’s throats. Creed: Cat fight! Fairbanks: Dreamer is on top and raining the punches down on Poison. She drags Poison to her feet and sets her up for a powerbomb but Heart has tagged her in the back? What is he doing? Dreamer is furious she thinks she had it. Heart and Dreamer having words this is getting interesting. Dreamer shoves Heart and he shoves her back too. Heart bellows at her and pushes pass her but wait! Who is that up the ramp? Creed: Its Ace Diamond! But who’s that with him? It-Its Jango Fett??? Where was Ace, a Star Wars convention? Fairbanks: Their not doing anything except distracting Heart who is still having an argument with Dreamer while trying to focus on Ace and I assume Fett? This is getting-waitasec-Dreamer goes down low-LOW BLOW TO HEART! She took out her own partner! Creed: Crazy bitch! What are you thinking? Fairbanks: Heart staggers all over the place, Poison has finally made it over to her own corner but she hasn’t seen it. Suicide is tagged in he runs at Heart, catches him with a running small package! Roll up! Referee: 1 Creed: It can’t be! Referee: 2 Creed: No! Referee: 3 Fairbanks: There’s the bell! Suicide, in a major upset has pinned Jack Heart! Dreamer has cost herself and Jack their place with a little help from Ace Diamond and Jango Fett! Suicide is going nuts running around the ring! I can’t believe this. Creed: I demand a rematch! Rematch! Fairbanks: Demand all you want, no-one cares. Ace and his friend leave up the ramp laughing at Heart. Suicide and Poison advance! Announcer: Here are your winners, Suicide and Poison! Winners – Suicide & Poison Fairbanks: Poison doesn’t know what to do celebrate or cry! What a day! We’ll be right back. Creed: Its not fair! (Commercial)Winner - Ickeez and Desperado
Advances to Round 2
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