Simon Azmodius & The Enforcer VS Seth & Dingo Dundee
Fairbanks: welcome to UCW Mayhem! what a great show we have in store for you, i cant wait to see what happens!
Creed: i know, here we are, opening event and no Creed signs, i mean come on! what kind of fans do we have here in the UCW!?
Fairbanks: get over yourself....fool.. well here comes the first of our competators, SETH!
creed: I like this guy
Fairbanks: cool it creed! im pretty sure he is straight!
creed: damn!
Fairbanks: well seth is in the ring and the crowd is cheering for Dingo Dundee who is walking to the ring and climbing in, so creed who do you think is going to win?
Creed: well i have my heart set on that Seth...
Fairbanks: ah....well if you can tell by that music here comes the enforcer, and along side of him is that Simon Azmodius, they are climbing into the ring and lets get things started off!!
creed: its about time!
Fairabnks: well we are going to start things off with Simon and Seth, seth and simon lock up, and Simon easily tosses the smaller Seth backwards, seth bounces off the ropes and comes back at Simon who ducks and Seth leaps over him, Simon gives the thumbs up but its too late as Seth comes back and hits a big chop lock on Simon taking him down hard!
Creed:OUCH!
Fairbanks: well its as simple as that, and Seth is taking advantage of the fallen Simon, and locking him in a standing leg lock....look at the torque he has on that leg
Creed: you can see the pain in Simons face!
Fairbanks: well Seth is now yanking that leg wich is causing excrushiating pain for simon...well seth tags in Dingo who immediately kicks simon in the side of the leg
Creed: well thats gotta hurt like a charlie horse
Fairbanks: go back to sleep....
Creed:...ok
Fairbanks: well Dingo has Simon back to his feet and hits him with a nice well rounded belly to belly suplex, but he made one bad choice...he tossed Simon towards his own corner and simon just got the hand up and tagged in the enforcer, and he is cleaning house! Enforcer layed out Dingo with a big Clothesline and booted Seth in the face
Creed: IM AWAKE!..
Fairbanks: sure you are...well the Enforcer is taking it to Dingo Dundee, he is laying into him with punches, dingo is staggering around and over the top rope he goes!
Creed:look at that simon go, he is over the top rope into the ring with the enforcer and Seth is in the ring and trying to fight off the two, but its a lost cause, just like fairbanks over here
Fairbanks: shut up....the enforcer is pounding into Seth, irish whip into the corner, seth is being battered as Simon whips the enforcer at Seth....WOW!...seth just dove at the enforcers legs hitting a very hard double leg take down at the shins, the enforcer is on the mat rubbing his legs
Creed:well simon is taking care of things, simon whips Seth across the ring, but Seth reverses, Simon with the springboard off the middle rope, moonsaulting himself at Seth....Reverse DDT!..WOW!
Fairbanks:......
Creed:...Simon, hitting a moonsault into a Reverse DDT on Seth...both men are down...cause if we go back to the replay, Simon came down on that leg that Seth was working on...
Fairbanks:...well Dingo is back in the ring and the enforcer is slowly standing up....that Seth is a monster when it comes to working on those legs,i mean god, he took Simons legs and pureed them in the begining of this match, and he just connected his shoulders to the enforcers shins which do alot of damage!
Creed:well the enforcer and Dingo Dundee are exchanging blows, Dingo is coming out on top here...ouch!, the enforcer just hit a low blow on Dingo, cause the ref was preoccupied with Seth and Simon
Fairbanks: well here comes the end of the match!....The Enforcer has Dingo set up for the Vertebreaker....OUCH!...dingo is out cold from that devestating move........the ref is helping simon to his feet now...the enforcer has Dingo covered...
Creed: you can have a 50 count and that ref wouldnt know, where did that come from!?
Fairbanks:Seth just leaped off the top rope and hit a huge frog splash on the enforcer, and Seth immediately hops down an picks the ankle of the enforcer locking him in an ankle lock!
Creed: wow, enforcer is screaming like a girl.....
Fairbanks: you would too if you had someone cranking your ankle in a 45 degree angle!...the enforcer is tapping! but Seth isnt the legal man.....seth is sliding dingo out of the ring...seth clapped his hands hard and the ref thinks that was the legal tag....
Creed: very smart...that shows alot of intelligence
Fairbanks: yeah well its still cheating....Seth has The Enforcer Covered ONE!...TWO!!...KICKOUT!
Creed: thats great...whats going on here?
Fairbanks:what?
Creed:Simon is grabbing a steel chair...
Fairbanks:Seth see`s this and whips the enforcer at him...ah!..the enforcer juked left and is distracting the ref.....simon rushes at Seth...seth ducks and Dingo has super kicked Simons chair to his face!....simon is out cold and dingo takes Simon out of the ring and the ref is yelling at them....
Creed:just enough distraction!..Seth swings the chair at the enforcer, ah! the enforcer punched the chair into seth, who is out cold on the mat...the enforcer is celebrating...which i dont think is so good because that ref is still tied up trying to see if Simon is alright, and now Dingo is pouncing on the enforcer....
Fairbanks: he`s going for it.....kick to the stomach, the enforcer heels over, and Dingo has him set up...oh man! he is walking around with his one arm holding the enforcer up in that suplex position, what power Dingo Dundee has!......AUSSIE-HAMMER!!.right onto that steel chair!....the ref doesnt know whats going on, but he is back in the ring! ONE!...TWO!!...THREE!!...Dingo and Seth advance into the finals i cant beleive it, what a match!
Creed: i think im in love!
Fairbanks: oh shut up!....go to commercial!
Winners - Dingo Dundee & Seth Jobber Match Fairbanks:welcome back to Mayhem! what a show we have had tonight! Dingo Dundee and Seth have advanced on in the Lethal Lottery and now we are awaiting the Mainevent where we see who else advances in the lethal lottery!
Creed: I know, i cannot wait, i mean wow, i love this so much!
Fairbanks: no, no you dont...
Creed:..is it that obvious?
Fairbanks: yes also..
::suddenly the sounds of glass shattering can be heard through-out the arena as stone cold comes walking through the curtains::
Creed: YIPPEE he`s here! i love you steve austin!
Fairbanks: shut up.....well stone cold is in the ring and pacing back and forth, and here comes Felicity!
Creed: whats she doing here?
Fairbanks: i dont know, lets see she has a mic in her hands and is standing on the stage there...
Felicity: so stone cold, i hear you want to join the greatest wrestling federation in the world.....well you have to earn it babe, and you have to do so in the ring right now....against a hand picked wrestler of my choice..
Creed: who is she going to pick?
Fairbanks: i dont know.....she`s leaving so i guess we wll see right now....
::the arena suddenly goes dark and that ever present pulsing sounds of Danzig-Satans Child geings to play::
Creed: whats going on!?..i think i need a new diaper...
Fairbanks: oh shut up you fool!..
::suddenly a massive explosion emits on top of the entrance ramp, and standing there is satanic satan, his hair spiked up and held back by a black and red bandanna, he is wearing a tight red shirt that says "the satanic 101" on the front, and when he raises his arms in the air and the fire explodes around him you get a better look of his back wich says "feel the wrath bitch":
Creed:oh my god, SATANS BACK!
fairbanks: he looks to be in phenominal shape!
Creed: i know! i wish i could......
::the music gets louder and drowns out whatever creed was going to say, satan slowly walks down the ramp and slides into the ring, he stands up and walks to the far left turnbuckle and climbs it raising his arms causing the three other turnbuckles to emit with fire, satan jumps off the turnbuckle and does the same, he finishes, and stands there showing no emotion on his face as he looks at austin::
Creed: well stone cold is starting things off by punching satan in the face, and he didnt even flinch!...satan is still standing there, a sick look on his face now...
Fairbanks: this is scary, satan looks to be in the best shape of his life...and thats hard to beat considering before his injury problems started he was in the best shape for anyone to be in...
Creed: his arms are huge! look at that he just palmed austin by the head and pushed him backwards, austin just fell through the ropes and to the outside of the ring!
Fairbanks: well austin seems to be grabing for an equalizer...and what an equalizer it is, a steel chair....i dont know if this match is no DQ or not, but the ref isnt going to do anything
Creed: well austin is in the ring and he is rearing that chair back, and satan has taken a step foreward and is yelling at austin to do it!
Fairbanks: OH GOD!, what a chair shot! Satans still standing,and he is smiling again! Austin swings again, boot to the face with that chair, and austin is reeling, austin dropped the chair and satan just hit him with a belly to belly suplex!
Creed: Austin is trying to get to his feet, satan rushes at him, kick to the gut, STUNNER!! austin hits a desperation stunner and Satan is down, austin is making his way to his feet to get to satan for the cover...
Fairbanks: HOLY GOD! Satan just hit a kip-up and is standing there looking at austin, satans twitching his pointer finger as if to say "tisk tisk tisk"...aww come on...satan just switched from twitching his finger to the middle finger!
Creed: HAHAHAHA! thats funny
Fairbanks: that seemed to piss austin up who goes for another stunner, satan catches the leg and drags austin in for a capture suplex, wow, satan just threw austin clear across the ring with that capture suplex
Creed: that was text book style! satan is picking austin up and has him around the neck...satan is setting up the chokeslam...here it comes..REVERSAL into the stunner, satan pushes austin off
Fairbanks: austin off the ropes going for the lou-thezs press....satan catches him!...headbut! Satan tossed Austin up racking him on his shoulders..
Creed: wow, satan threw austin up there like a rag doll!
Fairbanks: Satanic Stunner!! wow, when austin his the mat he bounced back up and fell a few feet on his back...satan seems to be going for the cover...no!? he is walking to the turnbuckle...
Creed: the big man is up high...whats he doing?
Fairbanks: satan is in the air...SWANTON LO`DOWN!
Creed:......
Fairbanks:.....
Creed: how did he do that, i mean he jumped across the ring and did a flipping lo`down...didnt satan name that?
Fairbanks: yeah he calls it the Heaven to Hell, and the name says it all as satan sits up and places his hand on austins chest....
Creed: ONE!...TWO!!....THREE!!! Satan wins! WELCOME BACK SATAN!!
Fairbanks: its great to see him back here in UCW after his absence....i cant wait to see what he does from here
Creed: i know...he should bring out stacy more.....
Fairbanks: shut up.....we will be right back after these messages
::UCW Mayhem goes to commercial::
Winner-Satan
Gino Capone & Faith vs Sean Koch & Joey Love Fairbanks:Our next match is sure to be a good one.
Creed:Anything that features a sweaty Faith can only be good.
F:Please don't start.
C:Why?
F:Because if you don't then I shall leave and the Gay Bandit will replace me.
C:Ok,I promise to be good.
F:Didn't you say the same thing to the Bandit?
C:You are an ass!
F:Yes i am,but I see that the team of Joey Love and Sean Koch are making their way to the ring.
C:You know,I believe this is the first time that I have seen fur lined trunks on a competitor and oddly enough It's not on Kamchantaberry Ambergree.But not so oddly it is on Joey Love.
F:It is,,,different.White fur on lime green and pink tights.Look,here comes the team of Faith and Gino Capone.
C:Quite a contrast of styles on that team.
F:It certainly is,with Faith the high flier and Gino being more of a brawler.The two teams are now in the ring and Mario calls for the bell.Joey Love and Gino Capone start the match for their respective teams.The two circle each other then lock up in a collar and elbow tie-up which Love turns into an arm drag take down.
C:That has riled Capone some and I don't think that that could be a good thing.
F:Capone is back on his feet and charges Love in an attempt to catch him off his guard but love sees him coming and drops him with a drop toe hold then does a float-over into a headlock.Love has it locked on tight but the hold gets broken up as Faith Vaults over the ropes and put the boot to Loves head.
C:Looks like someone wants to win this match awful bad.
F:I'm sure that all the competitors want to win the lottery badly seeing as how a shot at the world title currently held by PyroManiac is on the line.Mario escorts Faith back out of the ring as Gino uses the opportunity that she created to pummel Love with a flurry of lefts and rights.Capone now has Love on his feet and hits him with a snap suplex that puts Joey Love in Gino and Faiths corner.
C:Not good for Love.
F:It most definitly isn't as Capone puts the boot to Loves head then tags in Faith.Faith slingshots over the top rope and drops a leg across Joeys throat.Faith with the quick cover but only gets a one count.
C:I would say that it was a bit early in the match for that but that would be stating the obvious so instead I would like to point out how supple and lushish Faiths leg looked as it came down across the throat of Joey Love.
F:About time to bring out your new announce partner I see.
C:NO,,,no,no,I'll behave,I promise.
F:You had better.Faith drags Love to his feet by the hair of the head then with a series of chops she drives him back into her corner where she monkey flips him out.Faith then climbs to the top rope.She tags in Gino then leaps of and hits Love with a frog splash.
C:Faith looks a bit hurt after that move as Mario assists her out of ring.Gino is now in and has Love on his feet.Gino whips Love into the ropes and then goes for a clothesline but Love ducks it and catchs Gino with a flying elbow on the return.
F:Both men are down now and trying to make the tag.Gino make sthe tag first but so does Love and now Faith and Sean Koch are now in the ring.Faith charges Koch and takes his feet out with a well aimed baseball slide.Faith is quickly up and plants a kick to the ribcage that knocks the wind from Kock's lungs.Faith has Kock up and goes to whip him into the ropes but Koch reverses it sending Faith into the ropes where she bounces off and gets caught in a sidewalk slam by Koch.Koch is up and has Faith in position for a power bomb.
C:You know,If I wasn't afraid of the consequences,I'd make a crude sexual comment at the expence of Faith right now,but as it is,,,,
F:You're learning.Koch lifts Faith up and executes the power bomb on her.
C:That could be it.
F:Koch goes for the pin but can only get a two count.
C:Faith may be a women,but,she's tough as all hell.
F:That she is.Koch has Faith up again then hits her with a swinging neck breaker.Koch again goes for the pin but Faith kicks out.
C:Koch looks to be getting a bit frustrated.
F:Yes he does,as he straddles Faith and begins to rain down punches to her fore head.Mario moves in to pull Koch off Faith but Koch shoves him away.
C:Koch best be careful least Mario disqualify his team.
F:Gino comes in and with a boot to the back of Koch's head,knocks him off Faith.Mario is back up and is telling Gino to get out of the ring.
C:He isn't listening as he continues to stomp away at Koch.
F:Joey Love is into the ring and barrels into Gino who is putting the boot to Loves partner.Both men go tumbling out of the ring leaving Koch and Faith in the ring.
C:You know,,,never mind.
F:Faith and Koch are back to their feet.Koch takes a swing at Faith but she ducks it and comes back up inside of Koches reach.Faith wraps her arms around Koch and hits a belly to belly suplex on the man.