Fairbanks: So next up we have an Internet title encounter between the champion Spike Roberts, and the returning Snake, who has his first singles match since returning tonight
Creed: This should be interesting. I wonder if Snake has any ring rust or whether he's as good as ever.
F: Well I'd have hoped that he would have improved since then, but you never know. Suprises spring Eternal in UCW
C: Yeah, did you see that new female signing that Felicity scooped up?
F: You're getting drool on the mic again......
C: glargaflibber.....
F: Thats the most intelligent thing you've said for a long time. So lets meet the contenders for this match. Snake is on his way to the ring first to a mixed response, I don't know quite what the crowd think of his return.
C: I don't think the crowd know what they think.......
F: I bet you couldn't say that 10 times fast.
C: I bet I could
F: Pleas don't
C: I don't.....
F: Ever....anyway, Snake has now slipped under the bottom rope and is gesturing to the fans.
C: Surely its slithered and not slipped
F: Shut up....really....
C: ........
F: Good, anyway. Snake IS IN the ring gesturing to the fans, as the champion arrives to great applause to the fans.
C: ........
F: Snake makes it to the bottom of the ramp and starts boogeying on down with the fans in the front row. Snake gets annoyed and baseball slides Spike in the back of the head. Spike locked up in a variation of the full nelson and thrown into the ring post.
C: I think the crowd just made up their mind! They're really getting on Snake's back now!
F: Snake walks over to the announce table and picks up a steel chair.....then hammers it into Spikes head as he tries to get up, and then across his back as he lies on the floor. Snake delivers 3 chairshots to Spike's back
C: Disqualification!
F: Nope! The ref can't disqualify you if the match hasn't started, though he is getting involved and disarming Snake, ordering Snake to get into the ring and start the match properly.
C: I guess Snake isn't in the mood to argue. He rolls Spike into the ring and covers him straight away as the bell sounds for the start.
F: 1...2...footonrope by Spike! He may be semi conscious, but he's still in this match!
C: and Snake is pissed
F: Snake cannot use any weapons now that the match has started. This is not a No DQ stipulation, it is a standard match between these two men where the Internet title is on the line.
C: Though you do have to be impressed with Snake's train of thought, I mean, he did catch Spike off guard and its allowed him to capitalise!
F: Indeed it has, and he might still win this as he heads to the top rope, looking for a big move to kill Spike off. Perhaps going for the Snake Pit early on here?
C: Looks that way as he signals to the crowd and goes for the leg drop.....but Spike rolls out of the way and Snake splats himself on the canvas.
F: Snake is really angry now and stands up as Spike pulls himself up in the corner. Snake goes for a clothesline but Spike sidesteps him and throws him into the turnbuckle, before nailing some knife edge chops down on the challenger. He whips him into the other corner, which Snake staggers out of into a wheel kick by Spike. Cover on Snake 1...2....kickout by Snake
C: Nice change in pace by Spike, trying to even out the odds with his endless source of energy.
F: Spike picks up Snake, but Snake hits a low blow and rolls Spike up. 1...2....kickout by Spike! Snake lifts Spike up and nails a vertical suplex, then kicks Spike in the head.
C: You know....I think Spike might just be slightly miffed.....
F: Miffed? You've been hanging around with toXin too much!
C: What ho!
F: Anyway, Snake is clearly annoyed as he picks up Spike into a headlock and delivers some knees to the chest, weakening the slightly taller Spike Roberts, though it has to be said that Snake does hold the weight advantage here.
C: He's tightening the lock, cutting off the blood to Snake's brain and thus forcing him into a state of unconsciousness from which the only escape is to tap out
F: Oh my god! You have been around toXin too much! Anyway, Spike is fading, but finds just enough energy to grab Snake's leg and lift him into a backdrop, planting both men back on the canvas.
C: Speaking of toXin, lets not forget that Ultimatum was a guest at Spike's party, entitled the "I Hate Snake Invitational Open Mic Night"
F: Yes, Chain, Inferno and Satan all had things to say about that, but that chaos never actually went anywhere.
C: I'd also like to wish Ultimatum a speedy recovery from that head injury he suffered....hope you'll be joining us again soon Ult. You know your my favorite wrestler
F: I heard he was going to take your place in the run up to his return....
C: What? That bastard? NEVER!
F: Way to be consistent....OOOH! Nice clothesline by Snake, Spike falls to the ground but struggles back up. He looks at snake and goes for a clothesline of his own, but Snake hits a drop toe hold and immediately locks in the snake stretch!!!!
C: This could be it....Spike's still suffering on that lower back from those chair shots, and its very difficult to drag yourself to the ropes with Snake sitting on your back.
F: That move in which Snake knees across your back and pulls your arms and legs towards each other is an extremely painful manoever. Spike may be seconds away from tapping out. He's screaming with pain as it rushes through its body, his hand just above the mat ready to come down
C: But he's still trying to drag his way to the ropes.....but Snake breaks the hold, pulls him away and goes to lock it in again....
F: Spike rolls through it into a small package 1....2....thrkickout! Snake caught unawares by that, but still Spike couldn't put Snake away. Snake really is pissed now.
C: He is one disturbed reptile
F: And I think he's had enough as he signals for the snake bite! The fans boo in response, prompting him to spit at the ones in the front row.....
C: Yeah, in this direction....you got a tissue?
F: No....anyway Spike struggles back to his feet and Snake goes for the fisherman lock to hit the Snake Bite, but Spike brings his knee up into Snake's chest before he can do so. Spike slips underneath a reeling Snake and lifts him up for the Devil Made Me Do it!!!
C: But Snake gouges Spike's eyes and Spike drops to the ground in agony. Snake rebounds off the ropes and hits Spike square in the face with a dropkick, sending Spike onto his back, then turns him over and locks in the Snake stretch again!!!
F: This has got to be it! Surely Spike can't battle out of this again..... Spike's hand is raised..... its dropping to the mat....
C:
He's gonna tap!!!!F: No! He reaches with all he's got left and just puts his fingers on the bottom rope! The ref orders Snake to break the hold, and Snake just snaps!!
C:
Snake pushes the referee to the floor and heads to the outside to get his chair back, he slides back into the ring and the angry ref tries to disarm him.....Snake pushes him over again, and as the ref goes to do the "ring the bell" wave for the DQ, Snake smacks him over the head and kicks him to the outside.....F: The ref never gave the instruction...this match is still going on!!!! And Spike walks straight into that chair shot.....from Snake, who then hammers the chair against Spikes back over and over again.
C:
We've been seeing this desire over the past few weeks. Snake is determined to win.....finally he covers a bloodied Spike Roberts as a second referee runs down 1....2....3.... its over.F: Wait a minute! The new referee has stood up looking confused, and yelling toward the bell corner. Something's going on here.....can we see that again.
C:
Here's the replay....wait a second, the bell comes on the three count, not after! But how?F: The original referee is standing!!!! What the hell??? Oh no.....
C:
I think I'm thinking what you're thinking....F: The original referee regained consciousness and called for the DQ before the new referee finished his 3 count.......which means
C:
Which means that Spike won the match by disqualification!!!F: Well I'm guessing that's right the two referees are discussing it now, and now Mario has informed the ring announcer of the decision....
C:
Well, lets hear the verdict.....Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, after discussion between the two referees, it has been agreed that the winner of the match as a result of disqualification and STILL UCW INTERNET CHAMPION......SPIKE......ROOOOOBEEEERTS!!!!!
F: Uh oh....
C:
This does not look good!!!F: Snake cannot believe it....he thought he'd had the match won. Mario climbs into the ring to award Spike his title, but Snake clotheslines the referee and grabs the belt. He waits for Spike to get back to his feet, then runs and smashes the champion in the face with his own belt......before throwing the belt down and storming up the ramp.
C:
Snake is not a happy man right now....in his mind he was screwed, and the "goodbye" chants from the crowd aren't going to help him cool down as he heads into the back, leaving Spike a bloody mess in the ring...F: Well, Ultimatum prophesized earlier in the week that the only way Spike would be remembered by leaving his blood on the Internet belt, while others such as Satan and Justin Chain have called him a weak champion. Have those prophecies begun their fulfillment tonight?
C:
If they have...then Spike is in big trouble......the EMTs are coming out to help him now.... F: Spike is being helped up by the EMTs now, and they're assiting him with his walk up the ramp....but Snake runs out from the back again and attacks the EMTs! Looks like he's not done with Spike yet!C: Goes for the clothesline....but wait! Spike ducks the clothesline. Shot to the ribs....Devil Made Me Do It!!!!
F: Right on the steel ramp! Revenge belongs to Spike. Call him a weak champion? Well I think he's just made Snake think otherwise. He is battered, he is bloody, but he still won't lie down for anyone!
C: And as if all this wasn't enough....we've got the Hardcore title on the line next! Don't go anywhere!!!
Fairbanks: Hey Creed?
Creed: Yeah?
Fairbanks: Do you know what time it is?
Creed: Umm. . . Time for a hotdog?
Fairbanks: No! It's HARDCORE time!
Creed: . . . .
Fairbanks: What?
Creed: That is the lamest catchphrase ever.
Fairbanks: Ok, I'll keep working on that.
Creed: Yeah . . . Right. . .
Fairbanks: Anyway, this match is going to be GREAT. We've got Inferno, the reigning Hardcore Champion, taking on not 1, but THREE opponents tonight in a Hardcore slug fest!
Creed: You bet your arse he is! He'll be taking on Boot, Vorhees, and Myers! Boy is this going to be a bout!
Fairbanks: You bet your arse it is!
Creed: Dude, that was the lamest catchphrase ever.
Fairbanks: You said it.
Creed: Yeah, so? I'm cool. I can make it work!
Fairbanks: God. . .
Boot's music hits and out he comes, to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He enters the ring and taunts the crowd a bit before Inferno's music hits up and the stage is lit on fire. Inferno walks through the fire to cheers, showing off the Hardcore title around his waist. He taunts the crowd as he makes his way to the ring, finally entering before Psycho Circus come running down the aisle. The roll into the ring and the bell sounds.
Creed: Looks like Inferno might lose the title tonight.
Psycho Circus go to work on Boot after pushing him into the corner while Inferno slips out of the ring casually. He goes under the ring and pulls out to tables and slides them in, grabbing a chair along the way. He rolls into the ring and sets up one table in one corner and another just behind Psycho Circus, who are still beating the living heck out of Boot. Finally, Inferno picks up the chair and hits Myers in the back with it, causing him to stumble a bit. Myers turns around right into a twisted Inferno Slam through the table. Vorhees turns around and gives a few stiff punches to Inferno from behind. Inferno turns around into a hard kick and is sent to the mat. Myers sits up and gets to his feet quickly. Myers and Vorhees begin to beat down Inferno while Boot lays like a Vegetable in the corner.
Fairbanks: Man, Psycho Circus are dominating.
Creed: Why wouldn't they? It's really 2 vs. 1 vs. 1!
Psycho Circus lift Inferno to his feet and throw him into the ropes. Vorhees hits a backdrop on Inferno while Myers finishes it off as they execute a perfect Road to Hell. Myers goes for the pin but Vorhees kicks him off, going for the pin himself. Myers pushes him off and the two begin to fight over who gets the pin. Finally, Boot enters the ring (from which he snuck out) and his Myers in the back with a baseball bat. Vorhees turns around and grabs Boot by the neck, dragging him over to the other table. He suddenly locks on a Killer Crush while Boot kicks for his freedom. Vorhees ends the move by lifting him up and dropping Boot through the table. Myers has gone for the pin by the time Vorhees turns around and the ref makes the count - 1... 2... KICK OUT!
Fairbanks: Close fall on Inferno!
Creed: Looks like we almost had a new champion there.
Myers gets to his feet, lifting Inferno with him but is met with a stiff punch to the chest by Vorhees. The two begin a war of pushes while Inferno slowly grabs the chair once more. He nails Vorhees over the head and proceeds with a shot to Myers' face. Inferno begins beating the two down with the chair before Boot stumbles over from the corner and slaps him on the arm. Inferno turns around and hits Boot over the head, ending Boots offensive attack. Inferno goes to turn back to the work of beating down Myers and Vorhees, but is hit with a double clothesline, forcing the chair to connect with his head. Psycho Circus continue the beating until finally, Myers goes for a cover. He barely gets the one before Vorhees pushes him off. The two begin to bicker with pushes and shoves before the Ringmaster comes running out from the back. He gets in the ring and stops the arguing telling Myers to make the pin. Myers goes for the pin, as the ref goes down - 1... 2... KICK OUT!
Fairbanks: The Ringmaster has his way with those two.
Creed: Good thing, otherwise the whole UCW Roster would be killed!
The Ringmaster exits the ring as Boot tries for another attack. He hits a weak chair shot to the back of Vorhees and then connects with one more, knocking the man (monster?) down. Myers turns to look at Boot, who hits a chairshot over his head. Inferno rolls out of the ring as Boot tries to evenly beat the two monsters. Inferno pulls out a table from underneath the ring and sets it up outside, before rolling back in. He rushes towards Boot and hits a knee to the stomach and then grabs him, moving towards the ropes. He lifts him and throws him over, right into the table. Inferno rolls out and makes the cover - 1... 2... 3!
Fairbanks: That was amazing! I can't believe Inferno pulled out with a victory!
Creed: You bet your arse he did!
Fairbanks: Oh be quiet.